


“THE CASTAWAY” FICLETS

by Raven_Hallowryn



Series: The Castaway [2]
Category: Avatar: Legend of Korra
Genre: Multi, Romance, amorra babies, amorra baby, future headcanons for Castaway, parenting
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-01
Updated: 2019-09-30
Packaged: 2020-11-08 17:50:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 24
Words: 116,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20839586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Raven_Hallowryn/pseuds/Raven_Hallowryn
Summary: This is a collection of shorts I’ve written for my Amorra fanfiction “The Castaway” when I need to blow off steam. Not to be taken too seriously. Mostly requested fluff prompts for now but you never know what my hands might type out in the future.BEWARE OF SPOILERS FOR THE MAIN FIC.





	1. Baby Talk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for abnaxus  
Spoiler-y but not canon (yet? Idek). 1,082k words. Senseless family fluff. The saccharine level of this one gave me a toothache. Enjoy.)

“Come on, Nilak, it’s easy.” Korra insisted, crouching in front of the infant that sat on a fur rug that served as a play corner. “Ma-ma. Mama. Just say MA-MA.”

“Ah!” The baby with periwinkle eyes blinked at her, still repeating the little exclamation that was conjured up whenever she detected her mother’s voice, even after all those months.

“Not ah. Ma-ma.” The Avatar reproached softly but frustrated, waving a finger in front of the baby.

“AH!” Nilak just exclaimed louder.

“Ugh, you’re as stubborn as I am, aren’t you?” Korra rubbed her temples, rapidly losing any motivation to continue the struggle.

“Aaaaahhh!” The girl drawled, tilting her head in confusion.

“Ma-ma.” The Avatar repeated louder, as if volume made a difference. “Ma-ma!”

“Korra, what are you doing?” Someone behind her asked.

“Ma-… Oh, just trying to get her to talk.” She looked up from her crouched position and spotted Noatak looking down at her.

“That’s not how you do it.” He smirked, it was that typical ‘I know something you don’t’ smirk she both loved and was utterly irritated by.

“Yeah, like you’re the expert.” Korra rolled her eyes and got up, smoothing the pelt at her waist back into place.

“You have to make her _want_ to talk, you have to give her a reason to do it.” He explained with ease.

“She’s a baby, she doesn’t understand anything that complicated!” The Avatar objected, crossing her arms under her full chest.

“Nilak.” Noatak called and once the baby was staring up at him he opened his arms towards her but stayed just out of reach. “Want a hug? Want daddy?”

“Uhhh!” Nilak made a frustrated sound and bounced in a silly attempt to reach him.

“No, that’s not what you want.” He smiled, still waiting patiently out of her reach.

“Uuuuhhhhhhh!” The baby insisted, pouting a little and stretching her arms in a futile plea to be held.

“It’s not gonna work, Noatak.” Korra chided, arms still crossed and a foot tapping rhythmically.

“Nilaaaaaak.” Noatak called in a rumbling deep sing-song voice that he never allowed anyone but these two women to hear. “Want daddy?”

“Uhhh…Da!” The girl’s brows scrunched in a similar manner to her mother’s as she bounced again.

“Almost.” He nodded, moving just a little closer.

“Da! Dada!” The baby called eagerly, noting that the sound drew him closer. “Dada!”

“That’s my girl.” Noatak finally picked her up in tight comforting embrace.

“Dada! Dada!” Nilak kept repeating excitedly in his arms.

“Yes, baby, daddy’s here.” He replied with pride and tenderness, nuzzling his nose to the child’s sparse dark hair that smelled like jasmine.

“Why do you always have to win?” Korra sulked, shoulders hunched in annoyance.

“It’s not a contest, Korra.” Noatak chuckled, bouncing the little girl in his arms. “But if it was then the answer would be simple.”

“Oh yeah? What answer is that, genius?” The Avatar challenged, lifting her head to look him in the eye.

“Patience.” He smirked again.

“Hmph.” Korra pouted in rather defensive manner, just like him to bring up the one quality she did NOT have. “Whatever.”

“Nilak.” He grabbed the baby’s attention again and pointed at the Avatar. “Who’s that? Is that mama?”

“Aaah.” The girl made her usual pleasantly surprised sound.

“No, not ah.” He explained, shaking his head and turning the baby to Korra by holding her under the arms. “Who’s that?”

“Aaaah!” Nilak repeated more excitedly towards Korra.

“Do you want mama?” He asked, motioning as if he was going to hand the baby to the Avatar but pulling back at the last second.

“Ah! Ah!” Nilak repeated, getting frustrated when her little chubby hands didn’t close onto her mother’s clothes.

“Say mama and she’ll hold you.” Noatak offered, pointing at his doubtful-looking lover.

“Uh…” The baby looked confused by the whole situation.

“Great, now she’s gone back to uh.” Korra shook her head with amused exasperation.

“Nilak.” Noatak captured the child’s attention again to keep her from losing focus.

“Dada!” Nilak tried, looking at him and kicking in his arms.

“No.” He replied firmly but gently.

“You’re confusing the girl.” Korra stated disapprovingly, already wanting to give up on the matter again.

“Nilak. Who’s that?” Noatak made the baby face the disgruntled Avatar once more.

“Ni!” The baby squeaked in reaction to the constant repetition of her own name. “Ni! Ni!”

“No, you’re Ni, silly. That’s mama.” He chuckled, nuzzling her neck before motioning towards the Avatar again.

“Ma?” The kid was confused but as soon as the syllable slipped out both parents were nodding and smiled, that sparked her interest.

“Yes! Mama.” Noatak encouraged with exaggerated excitement meant to convey approval before he pushed he baby closer to Korra. “Do you want mama?”

“Ma! Mama!” Nilak called keenly, stretching all her plump tiny limbs towards the woman.

“And there you go.” Noatak stated victoriously, plopping the child in Korra’s arms.

“Mama! Mama! Mama!” Nilak repeated fervently, snuggling to her mother’s bosom.

“Yes, I’m mama. And you’re Nini, aren’t you, baby?” All traces of bad mood gone, the Avatar lifted the baby in the air above her and rubbed their noses together. “Who’s my pretty Nini? Huh? Who’s the prettiest?”

“Nini! Mama!” The baby repeated the easy words nonsensically, mostly just because seemed to make her mother happy and amorous.

“Yes, we are and don’t you forget it, baby.” Korra chuckled, hugging the baby again and acting as if the words were a reply to her question.

“Happy now?” Noatak was still smirking but watching the scene with fondness, wanting to carve it into his memory. He knew repeated condensed syllables shouldn’t really count as first words but he was proud anyway and was always glad for an excuse to brag about his daughter’s intelligence.

“She’ll probably forget it all before lunch but yeah, I’m happy.” Korra laughed a little, rumpling the child’s soft wispy hair and getting on tiptoes to plant a kiss on his lips. “Thank you, Noatak.”

“You’re welcome, my love.” He kissed her back lovingly until there was a tug on the collar of his coat.

“Dada!” The baby repeated, looking at him expectantly from her mother’s arms. Hm, well, maybe repeated syllables could count as nouns after all.

“Alright, here’s one for you too, little one.” He leaned down to kiss Nilak’s tiny nose which she wrinkled reflexively before giggling.

“Ah!” The girl said, reverting to the start and inciting Korra to face-palm and, by extension, brought on Noatak’s laughter.


	2. Water Fight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for the-sass-brit  
More sugary tooth-decay-inducing family fluff. 1,240k words.)

“Puuuuu…” The two-year old blew the soapy bubbles away from her, her curling shoulder-length hair sticking wetly to her dark skin and dripping with warm water that also dewed on her long lashes like tiny jewels.

“Nilak, hair time.” Korra announced, holding up a bottle of white jasmine baby shampoo. She herself was sitting waist-deep in the tub, her cinnamon body covered in dripping soap suds and her hair loose around her in chestnut waves that reached just below her breasts.

The toddler splashed water all over the place in objection, she didn’t dislike having her hair washed but that meant that bath time was almost over and while putting Nilak in a bath wasn’t always easy, getting her out of the water was always a huge chore that often involved shouting, tantrums and pleas for a little bit more time.

In reaction to all the splashing Korra gave her a stern glare, the girl wilted a little under those angry eyes and finally tilted her head back to allow her mother to rub the nice smelling goo into her scalp, washing out her hair with careful hands. Once the task was done, the Avatar moved her hands with quick practiced movements and a blob of water rose from the tub and dunked of the child’s head, washing away the lather without getting into the little one’s face.

Nilak endured all this quietly, more so than usual, and stared at her mother as the woman repeated the same process on herself. Big lilac eyes watched in awe as the second blob of water hovered precariously and then melted and glided down the Avatar’s head, washing her chestnut tresses.

“Mama, splash!” Nilak requested, motioning with her little hands towards the third blob Korra manipulated.

“No, no splash. Too much mess.” The woman shook her head, she didn’t feel like having to clean the whole floor again even if it was easy with bending and, most of all, she didn’t want Nilak to get used to flooding the bathroom just to play.

“Splash!” The toddler insisted, slamming her hands on the surface of the water. The blob escaped the Avatar’s perfect control and splashed magnificently back in the water at the same time as droplets of liquid jumped from all over the bubbly surface and hovered for a couple of seconds before crashing down hard. Nilak giggled and shook bubbles from her face.

“Oh… That happened.” Korra stated, trying to stay calm but unable to hide her mingled shock and pride. They always knew Nilak was a bender from the day she was born and she had occasionally shown signs of accidental bending, yet she had never controlled so much water so willingly and that was a surprise.

“Mama! Again!” The little girl demanded. “Again! Again!”

“What again? I didn’t do that, you did.” Korra retorted with a tap to the child’s nose. “Can you do it one more time? Can you show mama some more?”

Nilak blinked, struggling to grasp what was going on, so the Avatar showed her by raising another bobble of water in front of the child and motioning for her to pull at it without her hands. The toddler seemed to understand the concept by instinct but still took a while to feel and grasp at the magnetic energy between her own body and the liquid, Korra felt the occasional twitch of weak resistance to her bending but when the full pull came she didn’t have time to deflect it because Nilak accidentally hurtled the dripping ball of water onto her face.

With hair dripping on her disgruntled face, the Avatar frowned but the girl was laughing so hard that she couldn’t be angry so instead she tossed a gentle wisp of water onto the kid’s face as payback. Nilak sputtered against the bitter taste of remnant soap and used her hands to splash her mother who stopped the tiny wall of liquid mid motion and pushed it back onto the toddler who tipped back into the water with the force only to surface again suddenly, sputtering again but laughing and flinging water towards the Avatar. She used her little arms to splash as much bubbly liquid as possible but unknowingly managed to control part of the attack with bending, thus making the fluid swirl in impossible ways around Korra who began to fight back with tiny waterbent spurts, neglecting to really defend herself from the harmless assault until a full-blow water war was raging in the tub.

“Hm …” Someone cleared their throat from the doorway and both girls froze in surprise and glanced at the visitor with droplets and little streamers of water still floating around them.

“Oh, hm… Hi, honey.” Korra waved a little sheepishly.

“Making a mess, I see.” Noatak pointed out, crossing his arms with a nod at the flooded floor before he stared at the bent liquid around her. “And it seems you still haven’t learned any self-control. Isn’t that unfair, Avatar Korra?”

“Don’t be a party-pooper.” The Avatar stuck her tongue out in jest and the water around her splattered back into the tub.

“Pahty-poopah!” Nilak repeated babyishly and smacked her little arms in the water excitedly. “Daddy, splash!” As if to highlight her words, a disproportionate splash of water burst from her little hands, spattering not only the walls and her mother but also her watching father.

Noatak glanced down at the spreading wet stains on his dark clothing and arched a brow in surprise, then turned to Korra with an expectant expression, she just shrugged and grinned. He then approached the tub, bending away the puddle on the floor, and crouched down to Nilak’s level.

“Well now, it seems my baby learned something new.” He smiled, it was a proud but cautious smile that got the baby riled up from the positive attention. “Want to show daddy what you can do?”

“Splash!” Nilak said again, clapping her hands happily and tugging repetitive little streamers of liquid from the bubbly surface of the water, they were wobbly and only rose a few inches before arching and quickly falling back into the tub but the baby seemed fascinated by the motion and giggled. She then stared at her father, waiting eagerly for his approval.

“Good girl, Nilak, very good girl. But no more mess, ok?” He pet her wet hair and pointed sternly at the drenched floor, the girl nuzzled into his touch and nodded happily. “Bed time now.” The scarred man grabbed a towel before hoisting the child out of the tub and into his arm with a smile.

Korra pouted a little, she always had to drag the kid out of the bath kicking and screaming but all he had to do was pick her up and she snuggled to him as if his arms were the best spot in the world... Well, she couldn’t really argue with that.

In the end, she sulked by letting him take and dress the child for bed while she bent the water off the floor and soaked in a refilled tub of warm bubbly liquid until she dozed off.

“You plan on staying in there all night?” Noatak’s voice right next to her woke the Avatar up but she just grinned drowsily at him.

“You could always join me.” Korra purred in a delightful manner.

“I could, couldn’t I?” He smirked and leaned down to kiss her plump lips.


	3. Messiness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for kracken29  
Mama-daughter fluff…poor Korra. 2,040k words.  
Note: Mingan is a Native American word that means ‘grey wolf’.)

She was getting nowhere with this, you’d think that after more than six years training and living in the vicinity of airbenders the Avatar of all people would have mastered the noble art of meditation, especially after it saved her life so often… But no, despite how skilled she had become her lack of patience and inability to stay still continued to sabotage her efforts more times than she cared admit. It also didn’t help that ever since her connection to the memories of her past lives had been cut she had nothing to cling to, no goal to reach with her meditation, no past human personality to try to talk to for guidance, and that just made the whole thing an even bigger exercise in futility in her eyes.

Unfortunately she had hit a snag in her work, there was a Spirit whose aid she needed and it was one that refused to be found through physical means so even the portals were out of question, meaning that meditating in attempt to search for that exact Spirit seemed to be the only possible solution at the moment, yet after three hours stuck in her room with no results it was getting much too frustrating.

A foul smell that was somewhat familiar started to fill her nostrils, pulling out of any semblance of meditative stance quicker than the time it took to let out a breath.

“Huh?” The Avatar blinked and looked around in confusion. The smell made her nose wrinkle and she muttered a little irritated. “What IS that?”

The scent didn’t seem to come from inside the room so she got up and opened the door, peeking out into the hallway and spotted dirty dark liquid blotches along the floor from which the smell seemed to emanate. Korra couldn’t quite decipher what it was but seemed like some sort of mix between stale water and dung and was utterly disgusting.

Seeing as the Avatar had had her share of unpleasant experiences with creatures and Spirits that spewed any number of foul oozes such a thing popping up in her home made her a tad anxious so she followed the trail down the stairs all the way to the kitchen and what she found inside made her sigh and shake her head with a mix of vexation and relief.

“What did you do this time, Nilak?” Korra asked disapprovingly.

The five year old jumped in surprise and stared back with wide big periwinkle eyes, the tiny braids that framed her face swung and messy with little hairs stuck out in odd directions, much like the tangled mass of wavy locks that fell to just below her shoulders behind her indigo headband. The girl’s little lilac dress tunic was spattered with dark muddy stains and her brown slacks were rolled up to her knees and torn, her feet were bare and just as filthy, around her were dirty towels, damp rags and ruined table cloths and the smell of Noatak’s aftershave was so heavy in the air that Korra only took two seconds to spot a bottle of it emptied nearby.

“Um…” The kid bit her lip nervously, dropped a towel and scuffed the floor polished wooden floor with her toes. “Cleaning…”

“Cleaning? Looks to me like you’re making a mess.” Korra gestured at all the napkins, towels and various rags all stained in the smelly ooze as well as the muddy foot and handprints on the floor and walls.

“No! Cleaning!” Nilak pouted in indignation and held up her polar dog plushy which was caked in that foul goo, the child had apparently been trying to scrub the doll clean but managed only to rub the stains in and dirty a bunch of other things in the process.

She never went anywhere without the toy to the point where it was getting worn and the colors dulled but now it looked positively unrecognizable, Korra only knew what it was because Nilak never let go of it. She actually remembered winning that toy during a solstice festival when Nilak was still in her belly and she had no idea how the airbender girls hadn’t lost it during the hectic events of that night.

“Ah, I see. How did this happen?” The Avatar crouched down on her haunches to examine the plushy.

“I was playing with Naga and Mingan fell in muds.” Nilak replied frantically shaking the doll.

“And you jumped in to save Mingan, huh?” Korra’s lips pursed as she glanced at the ruined garments. Oh well, they were just play clothes and it should give aunty Asami an excuse to buy the kid more stuff, besides, considering how recently she came back home Korra wanted to avoid scolding the kid and damaging all the precious progress getting close to the child all over again.

“Duh! I had to, mama!” The girl replied as if the mere question were silly.

“Uh uh. And what did I say about touching daddy’s things?” She picked up the empty bottle of aftershave; the liquid appeared to have seeped into everything, even the very walls and was just making the nasty smell stand out even more.

“But it smells nice! Mingan needed…” Nilak argued only to trail off when she saw that Korra was not amused in the least. “Sowwy…” She apologized and the Avatar had to bite her cheek not to smile because the fact that Nilak still couldn’t properly pronounce R’s still struck her as adorable.

“Ah, what am going to do with you, kiddo? Mama’s too busy for this.” Korra sighed and shook her head. Now that she thought about it, where the heck was Jinora? She was supposed to be watching Nilak that day.

The little girl pouted and looked down, clutching the doll to her filthy tunic and fidgeting a little, it quickly became apparent that her pout and pinched brows were hiding her distress because she was flushing and tears were pooling in her unusual eyes.

“Oh, Nilak, no, don’t…” Before Korra could finished the girl was full out bawling- scrunched face, tears streaming down her cheeks, nose getting runny, wailing, shoulders trembling and hugging the dirty toy in despair. “Oh, come on!”

“I…I tied to… to fix it…!” The four year old sobbed, skipping another R and clinging harder to the toy. “Mingan is… Mingan is… Bwuah!!”

“Ok, ok, calm down, calm down.” The Avatar kneeled and wrapped her arms around the girl, ignoring the fact that she would have her own clothes to wash after this but who cared? Getting her daughter to stop crying was more important than a little dirt. “It’s ok, mama will fix it. Don’t cry, baby.”

“Ma-mama…!” The kid still sobbed inconsolably, clinging to the Avatar that picked her up and carried her up to the bathroom.

“I’m here, Ni, I’m here. Don’t cry.” Korra kissed the child’s forehead lightly. “We can fix this.”

“Mingan is… Is wuined…!” The girl hiccupped.

“Ruined? Now that’s a very big word for such a little girl, isn’t it?” Korra tried to distract Nilak as walked to the tub, rubbing the child’s back for comfort. It wasn’t quite true though, Nilak talked like a baby towards other people but the Avatar had heard her speak much more complexly when alone or with Noatak. “Where did you learn it?”

“Un-kho Liu…” The tears slowed just little but the child still sobbed.

“Uncle Liu, huh? What else did he teach you?” The Avatar ended up plopping the girl into the bathtub and tugging off the child’s dirty clothes gently.

“Dogging…” Nilak sniffed, slightly calmer and encouraged by her mother’s interest. It also helped that the tub was filling with warm water and bubbles, two of her favorite things.

“Dogging? What’s that?” Korra arched a brow, curious and already tossing Nilak’s clothes into the sink to wash out the mud by hand.

“Dogging.” The toddler repeated and raised her hands, still holding the plushy, and then ducked from left to right to avoid her mother’s attempts to grab her, the kid was actually surprisingly graceful although clumsy and reminded Korra of Noatak but, then again, she always did.

“Oh! Dodging.” The Avatar nodded when she finally understood and managed to get a hold on the child to get her to sit in the bath rather than bouncing around. “Very good, kiddo. I always said you were a little warrior.”

The crying had stopped but Nilak still sniffled miserably despite the praise, looking melancholically at the filthy toy. “Mama… Mingan…”

“Hand him over, I’ll fix him.” Korra smiled and extended her hand but Nilak clutched it tighter and looked suspicious. “Come on, Ni. The faster you give him to me, the faster I can get him back to you.”

“…Nuh-uh.” Nilak pouted, refusing to let go of the toy for long enough to get it washed. She was probably afraid she’d never see it again since, in her experience, broken and ruined things went in the trash or never really got fixed back to the way they were.

“Nilak, don’t be stubborn.” The Avatar scolded but the child just clung tighter to the polar dog plushy.

“Mh!” Nilak made a sort of negative sound and scooted down to the other side of the bath.

“Nilak…” Korra said the name warningly and used waterbending to drag the girl back to her. “Ok, fine. I’ll wash him in here with you but you have to give him to me.”

The child was suspicious but ended up giving in, well, almost- she still clung to the toy’s tail as Korra scrubbed off the stains and used waterbending and earthbending to pull out all the mud from the fibers, there was also an obvious pull on the water has Nilak struggled to mimic her mother’s technique to clean the plushy. Korra then washed Nilak’s hair and scrubbed all the dirt off the girl’s skin.

By the time Nilak and her plushy were clean and out of the bath, the water was murky and dark but the girl was wrapped in a fluffy white towel and hugging the toy that the Avatar dried with waterbending but that still smelled, not of the foul mud, but of Noatak’s aftershave. The new scent didn’t seem to bother the child, in fact she liked it immensely and kept sniffing the fuzzy worn out fur of the polar dog doll.

“Smells like daddy.” Nilak announced, holding up the toy for the Avatar to sniff while combing and braiding the girl’s hair again.

Korra took a whiff mostly to be sure that all traces of dung smell were gone and ended up smiling longingly. “Yes, it does.”

“When will daddy be home?” Nilak asked as the Avatar coached her into new underwear and pulled a clean simple cobalt dress on her, a task that wasn’t easy when the kid refused to let go of the toy.

“Soon, baby. Soon.” Korra kissed the top of Nilak’s head and then pat her rear. “Go play in your room. But no mess, ok?”

“’K!” Now much more energetic and happy, Nilak ran off to her room, dragging the plushy behind her.

Korra watched her go before forcing herself to wash the muddy clothes and go change her own. She then headed to the kitchen and sighed at the mess she had to clean which was a task she abhorred, so she planned to cheat and use every waterbending and airbending trick at her disposal just to hasten the job.

The smell of aftershave didn’t go away from the kitchen that easily either but after everything was washed out and the unsalvageable rags were disposed of, Korra didn’t mind so much anymore- it wasn’t even that strong, just a faint fresh odor like the ocean and some sort of spice that always blended in so well with Noatak’s natural scent. She actually leaned against the counter with her eyes closed taking in that smell she knew so intimately and making a mental note to buy another bottle of said aftershave eventually.

In the end she decided to cook lunch early just to flitter around enveloped in that scent a little longer. At least Nilak’s frequent disasters had their own little good sides too.


	4. Naga, The Mighty Sitter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for the-sass-brit  
Family + pet fluff with a little naughtiness in the middle. 1,390k words.)

“Are you sure that is safe?” Noatak enquired with a doubtful expression, watching his daughter, who had just begun to crawl, climbing all over the massive polar bear dog that lay on the grass.

“Why wouldn’t it be?” Korra blinked clueless, setting down a large blanket on the ground before flinging herself on it.

“I know you love Naga but as docile as she can be she is still an enormous polar bear dog and Nilak is a tiny baby.” He pointed out, nervously looking at the baby that was pulling the beast’s floppy ears and trying to bite them with the few teeth that began to appear in her mouth.

“Noatak, other than you and me Naga is probably the safest creature for Nilak to be around. Trust me, she used to protect me all the time when I was a kid.” The Avatar assured, folding her arms behind her head and relaxing.

“A kid, not a baby.” Noatak still didn’t seem comfortable with the idea, not when he saw Nilak trying the polar bear dog’s patience by pulling at its fur and poking its snout to see rows of sharp pointed teeth each bigger than the baby’s fingers.

“Big difference.” Korra retorted sarcastically before she smiled at him. “Just sit down and relax, Noatak. Take a day off for once.”

“There’s no such thing as a day off from parenting.” He reproached but sat next to her anyway. “Seriously, all Naga has to do is accidentally sit on her and don’t get me started on those fangs…”

“Yeah, yeah.” The Avatar rolled to her side and rested her head over his knee. “Quit being such a stick in the mud.”

“I’m not being a…” The scarred man stopped talking and tensed.

Nilak seemed about to fall off the big animal and he was ready to spring to the rescue to catch her but when the baby fell over Naga moved to gracefully cushion the fall with a big fluffy tail and the polar bear dog nuzzled the baby so soothe it from the little fright. Korra watched with a smile.

“See? She’s fine.” The Avatar poked him in the ribs. “Now relax.”

“She could have hurt herself.” Noatak argued at once.

“Oh boy.” Korra sighed with some annoyance at his overzealous attitude and got up to retrieve the baby. “Nilak, food time.”

Nilak made her habitual little ‘ah’ noise upon hearing her mother and reached up to be held. Korra picked her up, carried the baby to the blanket and moments later the Avatar held the child in her lap while feeding her the vegetable and fruit purée that Pema had taught them to make, personally Korra had no idea how kids could eat that goo but Nilak appeared to enjoy it and in return for feeding the baby she got to demand that Noatak feed her which he did by popping sweetened sea-prunes in her mouth and feeding her bite-sized crab cakes and tofu wraps, he also wanted to give her water but she waterbent that directly into her mouth just to tick him off.

Once Nilak was done eating, they wiped her food stained face clean and set her down on the blanket where she entertained herself playing with a chewy and colorful water-filled toy. Noatak seemed content to just watch the child roll around with the thing in her mouth but Korra had other plans, she slipped onto his lap like a needy cat and began feeding him grapes and leechi nuts, not with her hands but with her own mouth- he was more than delighted to accept the treats, the edible ones as well as the kisses.

At some point Nilak fell asleep, cuddled to Noatak’s side and the Avatar had the most tempting of ideas.

“Noaaatak.” She sang his name softly into his ear, her warm breath puffing onto his skin.

“No, Korra.” He replied at once, already able to guess what that sultry tone meant.

“Come on, old man… We’re in a deserted lovely little forest… Alone… Nilak will be asleep for a while… And…” She whispered something rather lewd about lack of undergarments that nearly made the scarred man blush.

“I see.” He was tempted by the offer but cautious too. “What about Nilak?”

“Naga can alert us if she wakes.” Korra got up from his lap and pulled him along with her, he was still reluctant but caved quicker than he wanted so that they disappeared into the trees with Korra’s giggles and the sound of rustling clothing filling the air.

Naga got up once they were out of sight, the polar bear dog plopped down on the blanket next to Nilak to keep the child warm and the baby snuggled close, she was sucking on her thumb and curled up the big animal’s thick but smooth fur.

Time passed lazily in that summer afternoon and when Nilak woke up her parents were still fooling around a few yards away so the baby rolled around and sat up, rubbing her lilac eyes sleepily and making little sounds that were a demand for attention. Naga licked the child’s face in reply to the sounds and Nilak was satisfied enough by the reaction to crawl all over the polar bear dog to explore the world from a different perspective.

However, Nilak was much like her mother in the sense that she grew bored easily and stumbled her way down the polar bear dog’s huge body until she was on the grass, where she sat to look around and examine the lush green environment that was peppered with bright flowers here and there and filled with new scents, little sounds of the wind on the branches, buzzing insects and scuttling small animals.

The baby crawled over to some bright yellow and violet flowers about to chomp down on them but Naga pushed her back with a wet snout to the baby’s torso, knowing by scent that those plants were not edible in the least. Nilak fussed a little, still wanting the flowers but gave up fast when something a million times more interesting caught her attention- an animal was shuffling in the bushes, making a ruckus and coming closer.

The little girl moved closer and sat in wait until a fairly large, slobbery and angry-looking boar-q-pine popped out from the shrubbery huffing and ready to shoot its quills or ram its tusks at invaders of its territory. Naga growled and got in front of the baby, snapping her jaws enough to frighten the other animal that ran off with its tail between its legs.

Nilak laughed, watching the interlude between the animals amazed her and made her clap her hands and giggle despite the ferocious snarls and roars, Naga licked her face again in a show of affection. When the kid got bored once more she continued to crawl away until something else caught her eye and this was the one thing that made her gawk and make excited sounds- a deep pond of swirling clear water fed by a babbling brook that traveled downhill.

Fascinated by the water, Nilak shoved her hands into it and then pulled back gasping at the coldness and laughing with delight before doing it again and again, yet when she tried to crawl in a little deeper Naga decided it was far enough and picked up the baby so she hung by her clothes from the polar bear dog’s mouth until Naga deposited her safely back on the blanket.

The whole adventure repeated itself until Nilak was exhausted and yawning and Naga was sneezing from the spores of some dandelily that the baby had blown in her snout but the polar bear dog still settled down and let the baby curl to her fur again, happy to let the little creature nap, once again sucking on her thumb.

When Noatak and Korra got back from their little escapade, both flushed, grinning, sluggish and perspired Korra flopped on the blanket next to Naga, leaning against the beast as well and laughing when the polar bear dog wrinkled its nose at her scent. Noatak sat next to her too, checking up on Nilak before he relaxed and lay back with his head on the Avatar’s lap.

“I told you she’d be fine.” Korra smiled smugly, running her fingers through his hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Note: I actually based this off how my grandma’s very well-trained dog (a large rough collie named Lady) used to watch me when I was a baby, the description is pretty accurate (except the boar-q-pine represents anyone that tried to come near me who wasn’t my parents or grandma) and we have the video tapes and family stories to prove it. xD)


	5. Injuries And Requests

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Small injuries and kids asking for crazy stuff. More cavity inducing marshmallow family fluff. This one is actually one-shot sized- 3,186k words. Enjoy.)

“Ow, ow, ow, ow. OW!” The Avatar complained with a frown. “Don’t be so rough, damn it.”

“You’ve had worse and all I did was remove your boots.” Noatak retorted, resisting the urge to roll his eyes as he placed the woman’s legs on the couch.

“Yeah, well, it hurt.” Korra pouted, giving her swollen foot a grumpy glance.

“Perhaps if you were careful you wouldn’t have to worry about such things.” He reprimanded.

“For the last time- I was trying to break Nilak’s fall!” She defended, irritated that he sounded so condescending.

“And whose fault is it she fell?” He countered.

“I only looked away for two seconds.” She grumbled the reply defensively as he walked into the kitchen and back.

She really didn’t think it was her fault- she had taken Nilak to play and train by the small beach nearby because the view was pretty and it was a good place to waterbend but she got distracted for a few seconds and the child had climbed a few yards up the cliff side and fallen over. If Nilak had fallen towards the water it would have been easy to cushion her fall with waterbending but she had fallen towards the sand and rather than waste time with bending forms Korra had jumped in to break the kid’s fall but twisted her foot in the process.

“Well, what’s done is done.” The scarred man sighed, he wasn’t angry, just concerned. “Unfortunately I can’t heal you so we’ll have to treat this sprain the old fashion way.” With that he used waterbending on the soggy cloth he had just brought and froze it then plopped the stiff crunchy thing over her swelling ankle.

“Ah! That’s cold!” She flinched and kicked reflexively but that just caused her to wince and groan in pain again.

“That’s the point.” Noatak chuckled and placed the frozen rag back in place, tying its rigid ends so it wouldn’t move from her ankle.

“Mama, mama!” Nilak suddenly ran inside, tossing off her shoes and dragging her polar dog plushy behind her.

“Hey, kiddo… Oomph!” The Avatar grabbed the five year old that tackled her into a hug.

“Did you break your leg? Does it hurt?” As fast as she had hugged Nilak let go and twisted around to examine the Avatar’s swollen foot, nudging it lightly out of curiosity.

“Ow! It does if you poke at it!” Korra grabbed the kid by the waist and pulled her back but there was no bite in her words.

“S-sorry…” Suddenly the girl was crestfallen, her periwinkle eyes downcast and watery. It didn’t help that her father had yelled her about climbing the cliff earlier either, that left her in tears because daddy never raised his voice and he rarely ever lost his patience with her, that was usually mama’s job.

“That’s ok. Wanna know what would make me feel better?” The Avatar lifted the child’s face gently by the chin to have eye contact again. “Lots of Nini kisses.”

“I can do that!” Nilak’s mood lifted slightly and she hugged her mother tightly again, covering the young woman’s face with sloppy little kisses. She still looked a bit anxious though and eager to please.

“Awww, yes, good!” Korra chuckled between all those clumsy wet kisses. “My turn.”

With her unusual strength she lifted the child as if she were a kitten and then started kissing up Nilak’s stomach and sides, blowing little raspberries and taking full advantage of the ticklishness the girl had inherited from her father.

“Ah, ah, mama, s-stop!” The kid cried out between loud bouts of girlish laughter.

“What’s the magic word?” Korra grinned, planting ticklish kisses on Nilak’s neck.

“P-please, ahahah!” The kid couldn’t stop laughing and all anxiety had left her body.

“Good girl.” Korra smiled and finally showed mercy by setting girl down on her lap, she noticed that Noatak was watching them fondly from the other side of the couch and thought that he looked neglected. “Daddy carried mama all the way here, doesn’t he deserves kisses too?”

“Daddyyyyy!” Nilak hopped off her mother’s lap and ran to her father, tripping clumsily halfway but falling into his hands.

“Oh, now you notice me here? Mama had to point it out?” Noatak teased, making a mock face of disappointment before turning away with a fake pout. “I see, I see. That’s fine.”

“N-no! Daddy… Daddy, hug! H-hug!” Nilak opened her arms for him, she was immediately anxious to please all over again but now it was a much more natural emotion and not filled with sadness.

“No, no, got back to your mama.” He shook his head and shooed towards the Avatar, still holding that playful pout.

“Daddy!” Nilak huffed and hugged him by force, wrapping her little arms so tightly around his neck that he gasped for breath for a second before his arms went around her to return the embrace.

“Not so tight, baby. Let daddy breathe, ok?” Noatak pretended to choke out the words just to tease her further and the girl loosened her grip and snuggled to his chest in a way quite reminiscent of her mother.

“I’m sorry I got mama hurt.” The child mumbled shyly.

“That’s alright now. You won’t do it again, right?” Noatak enquired softly.

“Right.” Nilak nodded with determination, his scolding had guaranteed she’d never repeat the feat, she felt too guilty to do so.

“Good girl.” He pat her long wavy hair gently and smiled. Even Nilak knew only she and mama ever got that smile. “Want to help heal this?”

The child nodded and once he retrieved a bowl of water, Korra showed Nilak how to bend the liquid into a glowing mass around her hands as they had been training for the last few weeks ever since the Avatar had come back. Unfortunately, although Nilak was a very talented bender already and while she grasped the theory behind the skill of healing and could hold it in her grip for a few seconds she seemed to utterly lack any aptitude for curing in itself seeing as she never really managed to make the glowing water seep into the skin and mend anything, Korra joked that she took after her father too much but all things considered Noatak never found the words funny.

“I’m sorry, mama.” Nilak moped when they gave up on healing completely for the day. “I’m doing it wrong.”

“No, no, it feels better!” Korra lied to cheer the child up and it worked even if her ankle was turning blotched purple and twice its original size.

“Really?” The girl smiled a little awkwardly.

“Really!” The Avatar replied.

Nilak smiled more brightly and hurried to go get the bottle of garlic oil that Noatak requested. The oil didn’t smell all that good but it was brilliant for sprains and muscle pain so it was always on the living-room shelf because such an item was valuable in a house of warriors that made a living out of martial and bending arts and, thankfully, they were all used to the scent by now.

Noatak sat on the couch with Korra’s foot plopped on a pillow over his lap. The Avatar groaned and complained repeatedly as he massaged the pungent oil into her rapidly bruising ankle but he knew for a fact that she could take it, she had gone years handling much more serious and even crippling injuries and was just making a fuss because she wanted more of his attention, that and maybe she was a little too accustomed to the convenience of quick water-healing .

Nilak wanted to help too, she brought Korra a cup of leechi juice, she fluffed the Avatar’s pillows, she set the radio to a soothing music station and then she grabbed a whole handful of her hair ties and her mother’s brush and sat over the arm of the couch to brush Korra’s hair.

Noatak never admitted it but his mother had been right when she said that Nilak was just like him in the sense that she was a caregiver by nature, Korra agreed, especially because Nilak was nothing like her as a kid- she had always been the fearless fight-prone tomboy and therefore quite different from a patient protective caregiver.

“Ow, careful!” The Avatar winced.

“I am, stop making such a fuss.” Noatak retorted.

“Not you. Nilak snagged a knot.” Korra grimaced as the girl tried to untangle said knot.

“Sorry, mama.” The girl kissed the top of her mother’s head and continued to brush the chestnut locks before she began to work the Avatar’s long hair into slim braids. Her parents always did her hair in plaits and small typical Water Tribe braids so Nilak had asked to learn the skill of plaiting and her grandmother had taught her a few months before so now she reveled at every chance to show off her dexterity at the task.

“You are getting very good at that, darling.” Noatak complimented, smiling at the child.

“Thank you.” She smiled brightly, tiny white teeth gleaming though a few were missing. “Did you braid uncle Tarrlok’s hair too?”

“Ah, gran-gran has been telling you stories again, hasn’t she?” He shook his head lightly but there was a nostalgic smile on his face. “Yes, I did a few times but he didn’t like it very much.”

“What’s it like?” The kid asked innocently.

“What, baby?” Noatak looked at her inquisitively, surely she couldn’t mean braiding.

“Having brothers.” Nilak’s head tilted the way it always did when she was desperately curious.

“Oh… It’s… It can be complicated.” He faltered nervously, more because he wondered why she was asking than because of the answer itself.

“How?” Nilak blinked and started a new braid on Korra’s hair, the latter was also interested in the answer by the looks of it.

“Sometimes we laughed and played and shared everything with each other, sometimes we didn’t want to share and fought over little things, sometimes we told each other everything and others we complained about each other prying, sometimes we teased and were mean and sometimes we protected each other from everyone else. It had its good sides and its bad sides.” The scarred man replied in all honesty, his explanation came out a bit disjointed and repetitive because when he spoke of Tarrlok emotion tended to get in the way of rationality.

“At least you were never lonely, not unless you wanted to be.” Korra remarked sympathetically without thinking.

“True.” He conceded.

“Can I have a brother?” Nilak asked suddenly and expectantly.

“What?!” Korra jumped and tried to twist around to look at the girl but the motion turned her ankle in the worst way so that she fell off the couch folded over and gripping her foot. “OW! Ow, ow, ow, son-of-a…!”

“Careful, watch the language.” Noatak warned. “Get over here.” He bent down to help her get back on the couch.

“Thanks.” The Avatar hissed as she returned to her position and set her foot back in his lap.

“Mama…? I said- can I have a brother?” Nilak repeated once the commotion cooled, she looked truly hopeful.

“I heard you. Hm… Well…” Korra hesitated, she bit her lip and traded a nervous look with Noatak.

“That doesn’t seem very likely, Nilak.” He replied apologetically and went back to working on the Avatar’s foot, using his knowledge of chi points and a tiny twitch of bloodbending to make the blood flow more naturally and reduce the bruising.

“Why not?” Nilak pouted, unconsciously running her hands in her mother’s hair and itching to keep braiding.

“Why would you want that?” Noatak enquired, wanting to understand the sudden request.

“Rohan has sibings…” The girl began.

“Siblings.” Her father corrected automatically.

“Siblings. Rohan has lots of them, Biya has a brother, cousin Eska has cousin Desna, Malina has Anningan, uncle Bo has uncle Mako, you had uncle Tarrlok, uncle Tenzin has uncle Bumi and aunt Kya… Only mama didn’t have brothers and she says she was lonely.” Nilak rationalized simplistically and almost sassily, tossing her tiny hands in the air.

“Honey, that’s not what I meant. I had friends, I didn’t really need siblings.” Korra explained truthfully, she never _needed_ siblings even if she always wanted them to ease her loneliness growing up in the White Lotus compound.

“But I want one… I have friends but I want sibings too…” The girl slipped up on the word again but this time nobody corrected her because both parents were considering how to turn her down gently.

“Nilak, that’s not something easy to have.” Noatak tried to reason.

“Why can’t I have a brother too?” Nilak insisted, now braiding Korra’s hair again mostly because she was getting angry and, like Korra, she needed to vent physical energy when she got frustrated.

“Because…” The scarred man trailed off, unsure how of how to reply without complicating things.

“Nilak, it’s not because of you. Having a baby is a lot of work, mama and daddy are busy people and we can’t have another baby to take care of.” Korra interjected seriously.

“But I can help! I can take care of it too!” The five year old argued far too loudly.

“Oh honey, I know you can but that’s not the only problem.” The Avatar grimaced, she really didn’t want to disappoint her daughter but this was one request that couldn’t be heeded.

“When mama had you it made her very sick, it wasn’t your fault and we love you very much but now that we know that can happen we can’t risk mama getting sick like that again.” Noatak explained as simply and as evasively as he could, if Nilak knew that she had practically killed her mother at birth it would probably be far too traumatizing to live with.

“I’ll train, I’ll make my healing better and make mama ok!” The child insisted, hope and stubborn resolve overflowing from her every word.

“Nilak…” Noatak sighed.

“Please, mama… Please?” Nilak turned to Korra again, begging with big sparkling eyes.

“Sweetie… I’m sorry, we can’t give you that.” The Avatar apologized sadly, this hurt her too and not just because she had to deny her daughter.

“Please… Pleeeeease.” The girl still begged, looking from one parent to another.

“Nilak, you have so many friends. Biya and Rohan are around all the time, they are good friends so why is it so important to have a brother when you have them?” Noatak tried to reason with her but it didn’t seem to be working.

“They’re not like me…” Nilak snapped and then looked away tearfully and muttered. “I love ‘em but they don’t… Things aren’t the same for them… They’re not like me… A brother would be like me…”

“How?” Noatak wondered.

“He’d be mama and daddy’s kid too.” She replied with easy sincerity.

“I see…” He trailed off.

Noatak understood what she meant, it had to be hard to be not only the Avatar’s daughter but also Amon’s child, there were always enemies and haters as well as admirers and the pressure of enormous expectations, there was always whispering and judgment and the secrets in Nilak’s blood that nobody but the closest family could know… And then there was a fact that Korra had been so absent in recent years and the little girl often felt lonely and neglected.

“Have you been bullied again?” Korra interrupted suddenly and tactlessly.

“Korra.” Noatak admonished but she ignored his sharp tone completely.

“Well, have you?” The Avatar insisted, looking at daughter with irritated eyes.

She wasn’t angry at Nilak, she just had zero patience for bullies and talking about them angered her, that was something she and Noatak had in common even if they both had their fair share of moments bullying people in the past though they never admitted it.

“No, mama.” Nilak shook her head nervously and Noatak could see the lie in her eyes and feel it in her racing heartbeat.

“You sure?” He gave her the chance to come forward.

“Uh uh.” The child nodded but didn’t look at either of them.

“Hm… Alright.” Korra replied still somewhat suspicious and Noatak decided he would let the matter go for now and figure out who had picked on his little girl later, perhaps he might find some entertainment in ‘_correcting’_ the bully’s behavior.

“Mama, please? It doesn’t have to be a boy, it can be a girl.” Nilak slipped from her perch on the arm of the couch to stand next to Korra and reverted back to the original topic. One-track mind- that was something she got from both parents for sure.

“That’s not the problem, Ni. Besides, we can’t really control that part.” The Avatar flinched, she thought they had distracted the kid from the subject and wasn’t ready to go back to it.

“Please!” Nilak pleaded more pigheadedly.

“Nilak, enough.” Noatak’s tone wasn’t harsh but final.

“But daddy…” She tried to object.

“Enough, baby.” Korra cut her off.

“…” Nilak opened her mouth to talk and then closed it and moped, looking down with the last braid in her hand and starting to sniffle back tears.

“Look…” Korra began, immediately frantic to stop the oncoming waterworks. “We’ll think about it, alright? Daddy and I will talk and think about this and then we’ll see what the future has in store. Just don’t get your hopes up, ok?”

“Korra…” Noatak said her name in warning, surely she wouldn’t consider this?

“There’s no harm in thinking and talking about it, is there, Noatak?” The Avatar said the words snippily- a warning of her own, telling him to shut up for now.

“I guess not.” He agreed reluctantly.

“Thank you, mama!” Nilak sniffled again but smiled and hugged her mother tightly. Korra hugged back until the girl was composed and happy again.

“Ok, now, do I look pretty?” The Avatar broke away from the girl and flipped the many braids in her hair.

“Like a princess!” Nilak clapped her hands excitedly.

“Erm… Thanks…?” Korra hesitated, it wasn’t on purpose but ever since her father had become Chief the word ‘princess’ made her uncomfortable. She simply disliked the title and she couldn’t really accept it anyway, being Avatar and therefore neutral and all.

“Like a lovely warrior princess, maybe?” Noatak rescued with a chuckle.

“That’s better!” The Avatar grinned and then kissed the girl’s nose. “Thank you for taking so good care of mama, sweetie.”

Nilak blushed slightly but her hands clasped behind her back and she smiled brightly and bashfully.

“What about me?” Noatak complained at the sight of the kiss.

“Looks like somebody is jealous again, Ni.” Korra pretended to whisper in her daughter’s ear and the girl giggled.

“I’m not jealous.” He objected with a phony pout.

“Come here, old man.” The Avatar grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and pulled him close for a sudden, deep and passionate lip-mashing kiss that lasted well into a minute before she broke it. “Better?”

“Much better.” Noatak grinned, he noticed Nilak was staring at them and had sat on the floor with her plushy. “How about you?” He tapped her injured foot.

“Ow…” Korra complained quite falsely with a secretive smile as he froze the improvised compress again. “I think I need more taking care of.”


	6. Confiding

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (First fic in this series that is not complete pointless fluff! It’s actually a father-daughter scene with early-teen-Nilak and daddy Noatak, it’s sweet but serious and stuffed with typical teenage angst and some LGBT discussion. I’m sorry but I just really wanted to write this because headcanons.  
This one is also one-shot sized- 4,666k words. Enjoy.)

She was sitting on the floor by the fire, her long dark hair spilled in vague curls down her back and was framed by loose braids hanging in arches from the sides of her face to the back of her head where amethyst beads held them in place, her posture was tense but feigning relaxation, the flames made her shadow dance and elongate across the room, painting the fur rug and walls in inky tones of black; unlike her parents her twelve year old body fell more to the plump side and hid her strength rather than showcasing it in sinew, her curves were starting to show a little earlier than was norm but, then again, everything about Nilak was precocious.

“Getting a little too warm for a fire, isn’t it?” Noatak commented off-hand and sat next to the girl. He then noticed that her black wolfcat, Kinapak, was snuggled between her legs and she pet it absentmindedly.

“Maybe… But I like looking at the fire. The way it dances is pretty… The way it eats everything away without worrying about anything makes me jealous.” Nilak replied dreamily, it was odd to witness a waterbender saying such a thing yet nothing about the girl surprised her father anymore.

“Well, you always were one too worry too much, darling.” He commented lightly.

“Like you?” She smiled but, like him, it was just a mask for gloomier emotions.

“Perhaps. You certainly don’t get it from your mother.” Noatak gave her a half-smirk.

“You never look worried though.”

“Confidence in my ability to handle things and pride tend to hide apprehension well enough.” He explained as if it were quite simply even though it was the furthest thing from it.

“I guess I’m not confident…” She mumbled a little dejectedly.

“I can’t phantom why you wouldn’t be, sweetheart. You are the daughter of two prideful people and you are powerful, beautiful, intelligent and unique.” Noatak caressed her hair, speaking with rare warmth in his voice.

“You just think I’m all those things ‘cause you’re my dad.” Nilak accused with an unimpressed frown.

He laughed lightly, her stubbornness and that sulk were just so nostalgic to him. “Maybe you’re right, Nilak, but it’s still how I honestly see you.”

“…You might be the only one.” She grumbled.

“Doesn’t your mother count?” He raised a brow, amused by her tone but curious about this sudden wave of angst.

“I don’t think so… She’s always bugging me about being too quiet or dressing weirdly or reading instead of going outside or eating too much or disagreeing with her…” The girl enumerated with annoyance and a little sadness, she was normally very thick-skinned toward criticism except when it came from her parents simply because they really were two in a handful people she trusted in the whole world.

“Oh, Nilak… You’re mother agrees with me, she simply worries and has a tendency to not think of other people’s feelings, or just not think at all, before she talks. You know she adores you.” Noatak spoke encouragingly; he was being perfectly honest and wanted only for his daughter to see that.

“I guess…” Nilak agreed reluctantly. “That still only makes two of you.”

“Your brothers worship you.” He pointed out with a small hint of jealousy.

“They’re five years old, they’ll get over that when they grow up and start to see the real me.” She objected a little bitterly.

“I very much doubt that.” He stated quite unconvinced before proceeding to name more people who he knew adored her. “Still, there are many others. The whole family is proud of you, the ones related by blood _and_ the ones related by heart.”

“You don’t have to cheer me up, father.” Nilak frowned slightly and finally looked at him, her hands resting over the large sleeping creature on her lap.

“You seem to need it. Case in point- you just called me father.”

“So what?” She blinked a little in confusion.

“You only try to sound that mature when you’re angry or sad. Your mother does that too, I’m sure you learned it from her.” Noatak smirked again, knowingly this time.

“…Why must you know me so well?” The girl sighed and her shoulders slumped while she stared at the fire again.

“Tell me what’s wrong, Nilak. I just want to help you smile again.” His large scarred hand began to caress down her back, slowly melting away some tension.

“It’s… I don’t know, it’s weird, I’m weird, but I can’t stop thinking about something.” She looked lost, her face pinched into a sad expression that made her look very much like Korra even though their faces were so different.

“You also always were one to obsess easily, sweetheart.” Noatak remarked sympathetically.

“Right back at you, father.” She shot at him with half-glance in his direction.

“Your mother does say you took after me too much, she’s bound to be right _sometimes_.” He shrugged jokingly.

His words incited a few giggles from her, teasing the Avatar had always been something she and her father were complicit in and she enjoyed it immensely although guiltily.

“Yeah, sometimes.” The girl smiled vaguely at him.

“Either way, I’m here if you need someone to listen.” Noatak stated, his hand resting on her slim shoulder.

“Daddy… I’ll talk but please don’t tell mama about this.” Her smile faded into a look of conflicted anxiety.

“I wish you’d trust her with your feelings more often, she’s not as unsympathetic or lacking in understanding as you think, quite the opposite actually, she’s always been a bleeding heart.”

“Daddy…” She spoke in warning.

“Alright, if that’s what you want then I won’t tell her.” Noatak conceded with a slight bow of his head.

“Thank you.”

“So, what is the matter?”

“…Can I ask you something?” Her hesitation was as plain as day, it was also another thing Korra always raved was exactly like Noatak and a dead giveaway of anxiety and subterfuge.

“You just did.” He teased to lighten the tension but she just shot him a flat unimpressed look. “Alright, alright. You can ask me anything.”

“It’s a strange question.”

“I’m fairly used to strange things.” And he was, that came with the territory when one was with the Avatar.

“Is it weird for a boy to like other boys? Like our cousin?” Nilak enquired rather randomly.

“Why do you ask?” He was curious where the topic came from all of a sudden and why it seemed to bring her grief. Yet, Noatak didn’t have to guess which cousin she meant though, there was only one person it could be, at least that she knew of.

“Just answer.”

“I was wondering when we’d have this conversation ever since your mother clumsily botched the whole birds-and-butterbees talk years ago.” The scarred man shook his head with a casual sigh and then decided to answer the question. “No, I wouldn’t call it weird. Everybody has their own tastes and that should be respected.”

“But I’ve always been told that boys are supposed to like girls and girls are supposed to like boys because that’s what’s normal and that’s how people get married and make babies.”

She gesticulated, creating sections with her hands to highlight her words but she never really looked at him and Noatak had to wonder what she meant by ‘always having been told’ such a thing since he did not recall neither himself nor Korra ever saying that, he assumed it was a general thing she had picked up from the world around her.

“Darling, love isn’t all about marriage and marriage isn’t all about children.” He stated simply.

“Explain.” Nilak demanded calmly, now looking at him quite blank-faced to hide her interest, focus and confusion, yet another of the many things she learned from him.

“Yes, marriage can be about important unions of two families, it can be about mixing bloodlines and creating offspring but children aren’t even a necessity because the true beauty of marriage is about finding the one person that means more than you can express in words, it’s about finding the person that completes and balances you and makes you smile with the smallest of things, a person that accepts all of you as you are even the flaws, it’s about finding a partner to share your burdens and your accomplishments for the rest of your life and, most of all, it’s about realizing that the other person feels all these things for you as well and that you can see beauty in everything that person does even when others don’t.

That being said, marriage isn’t required to create a new life either, after all I wasn’t married to your mother when you were born, was I? Love, marriage and parenthood are not exclusive to each other, Nilak, not at all, they are simply associated because that is the pattern of society, a pattern that ensures some degree of stability. Do you understand?”

“Uh uh. I think so.” She nodded, still attempting to remain neutral. “So… You can love someone and find them beautiful without having to follow the pattern?”

“Of course.”

“But then, why do I only see normal couples on the streets? Why don’t I see boys holding hands with boys and girls kissing girls?”

“Well, those preferences are not as common as the preference for the opposite sex but they are not that rare either, yet falling outside the general preference is usually not something that feels safe. People fear what is different and often don’t understand something they cannot personally relate to so those who like the same gender often prefer to be more discreet as to avoid being looked at differently, not to mention that it is harder for them to find partners.”

“…Makes sense but why do they hide?” Nilak wasn’t entirely sure she understood but she grasped the basic idea, she was used to having people fear her or judge her because they couldn’t put themselves in her shoes so she could see the same logic applied into this situation.

“Oh no, Nilak. They don’t hide, not here anyway though some nations are a little more picky culturally speaking, it’s just another social pattern- most people prefer not to flaunt that which is different from mainstream and in general same-sex couples just learn how to act differently with each other, they understand one another on a different wavelength whereas regular couples are taught how to act in love by example so everybody can recognize the signs because everyone is used to them. But I’m sure if you look hard enough you’d see all sorts of couples and all kinds of people around you.”

“All kinds of people? What do you mean?”

She still wasn’t certain she was getting all the complicated parts but she thought she was and tried to drink in all the information as always. It helped that her father’s voice had always enthralled her, he didn’t often speak unnecessarily and he had a deep rusty baritone that was easily scary to other people but that had always managed to relax her because she had always loved it.

“Love isn’t divided between those that like the opposite gender and those that like the same gender any more than the world is divided between men and women, darling.” Noatak replied in an attempt to keep things simple.

“You know you have to explain that too right?” Nilak crossed her arms, waiting for the rest because such a vague cryptic answer did nothing to solve her doubts.

“Biologically speaking, humans are born either male or female but that doesn’t mean they stay that way forever. Some people are male, some people are female, some people don’t feel like either, some are born one way and wish to be the other, some are boys but like to act like girls, some are girls but like to act like boys, some can easily shift from one gender’s mindset to the other, and so on, but they are all human, all unique in their own way and beautiful for it.”

“So if there’s that many different types of people… How does love really work?” She pursed her lips, now failing at staying stoic because she was confused and skeptical.

“There’s love and there’s attraction, the latter is a preference and a physical desire, the former is the emotion attached to it. Most people are attracted to the opposite gender, some like the same gender, some like both, some like all types of genders, there are also those that can love but not feel physical attraction at all, as well as those that only feel attracted long after they fall in love and bond, some people can even romantically love more than one person at once and some may only like one gender but find love in another simply because of one specific person.”

“That sounds way too complicated.” The girl shook her head and buried her hands in the soft long fur of her sleeping pet.

“Nilak, there are no rules when it comes to love. It is only a matter of discovering oneself and finding happiness in whatever form it comes.” Noatak explained with wisdom gathered over the years.

Strangely enough he had never thought much about the essence of love or romance for the majority of his adult life, he had been hardened and cold from the age of fourteen and often saw romance as a futile waste of his time; for years he merely went with the flow to satisfy physical urges, seeing seduction and flirtation as a game of predator and prey only to escape and shut others away before any sexual relationship could become anything deeper. It was only after Korra barged into his life that he began to truly philosophize about any such emotions and it was thanks to her that he learned that love was not a waste of time but rather a very powerful thing, something that could tear a person apart or strengthen them to immense heights, it could also be a reason to live, no matter how delusional or idealistic that might sound.

“That makes it even harder, it’s easier when there’s rules and it’s all just boy plus girl.” Nilak argued, struggling not with the concept but with something much more private.

“Life isn’t easy, sweetheart, that’s what makes it beautiful. It’s the complexity that keeps things interesting, it’s the freedom to choose that makes things fair… No matter what society might say.”

“Still, it’s weird. Other than cousin Desna, I’ve never met anyone else that wasn’t, hm, attracted to the opposite gender.” She rushed through the words rather nervously.

“Yes, you have.” Noatak chuckled.

“I have? Who?” She stared at him, puzzled by that little chuckle.

“I am much, much , much older than your mother. Did you think she was the only relationship I ever had?” He looked at the girl and wondered if she had indeed thought that way, he didn’t think so because Nilak had always been surprisingly perceptive and realistic but children often had a way of convincing themselves that their parents were made only for each other.

“I know you probably had other girlfriends, daddy. I’m not stupid.” Nilak gave yet another flat look, this one more impatient than anything else.

“Well, not all of them were girls.” He finished, fully at ease with the topic.

“…Really?” She seemed skeptic but the tension in her body rapidly began to melt and she began to inch closer to him unconsciously.

“Yes. I always managed to see beauty and potential in both men and women.” Noatak replied casually, more interested in her reaction than in the topic. “Oh, and your mother? She once claimed that, attraction-wise, she makes no distinction between genders even if her obvious preference leans towards men. Her first kiss was with a girl though.” He added, hoping his daughter would feel more inclined open up to her mother in this situation but then he thought twice and added- “However, you shouldn’t talk to her about that.”

“Why not?” Nilak looked confused.

“That particular girl is the source of much heartache for your mother, don’t mention the matter in front of her, please.” His tone was much sharper and demanding than anything else said so far, it clearly stated this was not up for debate.

“Ok, daddy…” She trailed off, wondering what exactly was behind that story. “So…”

“Yes?” He waited for her to continue.

“So… I guess it’s not creepy to you that someone you know can like the same gender?” The girl avoided his eyes, looking into the fire and speaking hesitantly.

“Nilak, if this is about you being in love with Biya then you really don’t need to be so nervous. I’ve known you liked her for a while.” Noatak commented lightly.

He suspected this was the reason for the talk right from the start but he had wanted her to open up and tell him on her own, unfortunately she just kept circling the subject and becoming more and more anxious so he decided to spare her more grief and simply admit he knew whether she became angry at him or not.

“What?!” Nilak spun to look at him so fast that the wolfcat woke up, yawned and sat to stare lazily while the girl’s periwinkle eyes widened with fear and she began to ramble and stutter. “I… I don’t… N-no… Biya and I are just… Just friends… Best friends… I’m not… I mean… Er… What are you even talking about?! This wasn’t about me!”

“Then why are you so flustered?” He cocked a brow and watched her dark cinnamon skin blush intensely, he could also feel her heart beat a mile a minute.

“…” She opened her mouth repeatedly but the excuses never wanted to come out so at last the sighed and surrendered, the blush staining her face and ears further until she felt like her skin was burning. “Did I make it _that_ obvious?” She sounded scared and ashamed.

“Not really, half the time I don’t think you realized it yourself so neither did anyone else, especially because most people still see a child in you. I just knew because I know you well, Nilak.” Noatak comforted, holding her in a one-armed hug.

“It’s not just Biya. I tried not liking her that way, I tried finding reasons to like boys, I even kissed a boy but it sucked! For some reason only girls feel right to me…” She trailed off, still avoiding his eyes.

“And that is perfectly normal, girls are fascinating creatures after all.” He smiled but then her words really hit home and he frown ever so slightly. “Wait, you kissed a boy? What boy? Do I know him?”

“Daddy…” She glanced at him still embarrassed but muttering the title in warning.

“I’m merely curious.” He defended weakly.

“It doesn’t matter, he liked me and we kissed but it just felt wrong to me in so many different ways so now we’re just friends.” She shrugged but seemed comfortable enough in his embrace.

“So he’s one of your friends?” Noatak paid more focus to that piece of info than all the rest she said.

“Dad, stop trying to guess who it was!” The girl snapped.

“Alright, I won’t, I was only speculating.” He raised his free hand in a gesture of surrender.

“Well, don’t.” She sulked, looking at the fireplace again where the flames were starting to die out from lack of fuel. “The boy doesn’t matter, I hate to say it because I like him a lot as a friend but that kiss was just gross.”

“Not the best first experience, was it?” Noatak grimaced sympathetically, he knew a little something about awkward first kisses.

“Who said it was the first?” She muttered almost inaudibly and pinking up further.

“It wasn’t?” Now he was interested and cautious all over again.

“No… The first was girl, she was just kidding around but to me it counted.” Nilak stated with a stubborn rebellious edge to her words.

“And do I know this girl?” The scarred man asked in the exact same suspicious tone of before.

“Daddy, stop trying to ferret out the people that kissed me!” She smacked his chest in menace but not hard at all.

“Well, I’m sorry but I’m just doing what fathers do.”

“You’re being, as mamma says, ‘annoyingly overprotective’.” The girl rolled her eyes and her expression was Korra’s again, that in itself was enough to appease him. “They don’t matter, daddy. I don’t like boys that way and, as pretty as girls are, there’s only one stuck in my head.”

“Biya?” Noatak questioned unnecessarily, he was having a hard time not laughing though because he kept thinking of how much he’d love to see the reaction of that particular girl’s mother to this whole situation. He was certain it would be priceless.

“…I liked Biya for as long as I knew what love is but she’s always been crushing on someone else, she likes boys so obviously that she finds any alternative weird.” And there it was- the gloom, the cloud of sadness that took over Nilak so quickly that the red in her cheeks began to sap away almost immediately and she automatically began trying to curl into herself.

“I see. This is why you’ve been upset? Because she unknowingly said something that made you feel inadequate?” He guessed, slowly pulling Nilak into his lap as per habit.

Korra, Nilak and even the boys always seemed to feel calmer and safer in his lap in moments of distress and this was no different, Nilak felt a bit embarrassed considering the whole topic at hand but she didn’t pull away, she just rested her head on his shoulder.

“Yeah, maybe.” The girl admitted softly but evasively. “Don’t blame her, it’s not her fault.”

“I don’t, she’s just a kid that happened to inherit a very loud blunt mouth from both parents.” He assured her, slowly running a hand through the chocolate waves of her hair. “Why don’t you tell her the truth?”

“I can’t. She’s too immature, I wouldn’t just get rejected, it would make things awkward and mess up what we have now. I like our friendship, she’s my best friend, we grew up together, she’s the only girl I can be myself with, the only one who knows most of my secrets and isn’t freaked out by them… I don’t want to lose that, I’d rather love her from afar and still be her friend than lose it all because I got greedy.” Nilak explained everything a little tiredly, as if she had been thinking of this far more than someone so young should.

“You’d rather be cautious.” He nodded in understanding. “I respect that. You’re wise for your age but you are still little more than a child, Nilak, and as you so well stated she’s even less mature than you, so perhaps it’s best to let fate handle this matter.” He advised serenely, knowing full well that pushing his opinion on her wouldn’t work so it was best to merely show faith in her decisions, suggest the best course of action and let her think it all through herself. “It’s not yet time to suffer for love, sweetheart, so don’t overthink it, maybe the future will still hold some pleasant surprises.”

“You think so?” Nilak looked up at him hopefully, lilac eyes glittering with unshed tears.

“I know so. And you should know that I’ll stand by you no matter what you decide to do, darling.” He planted a small kiss on her forehead.

“Thanks, daddy…” She smiled weakly. “Since when have you known I like her?”

“Since you were eight and we had that long trip to the North, you got all flustered and lovesick whenever you spoke with her on the phone.” He grinned at the memory, he was certain even Nilak herself hadn’t noticed how infatuated she was at the time.

“Has mom…?” The girl let the question hang in the air.

“No. And you probably shouldn’t tell her.” He advised with a little grimace.

“Yeah…” Her fragile smile faltered and her heart seemed to sink but Noatak realized that she had misunderstood and thought Korra would judge.

“I don’t mean it that way, sweetheart. I’m sure her feelings for you wouldn’t change but knowing your mother she’d start to meddle and play matchmaker just to try to make you happy, she would most likely think it harmless and therefore would be completely unable to keep that sort of secret.” Noatak explained, he didn’t think it was a good idea to involve the Avatar considering who the parents of the other girl were.

“But she wouldn’t think I’m strange?” Nilak asked, hopeful again and a little doubtful.

“I cannot imagine Avatar Korra ever thinking that.” He smiled supportively.

“But what if she does?”

“Another thing your mother once said long ago is that she likes ‘_weirdos’_, they make life interesting. Besides, have you even seen our family?” He picked up her hand and pressed it to the heavily scarred side of his face, feeling the soft skin of her palm and the slight graze of her nails on his sideburns and the hairline at his temple, both of which had recently begun to pepper slightly with grey. “We aren’t exactly ordinary, are we? Look at Anni and Mali, look at your cousins, look at me and your mother and tell me how much more unusual than us anyone can get.”

“But you and mom are awesome and strong, you’ve done amazing things…” She argued, tracing the grooves of his scars with the tips of her fingers the same way she did since she was a baby.

“Nilak, you are TWELVE. You have your whole life to do fantastic things and, for the record, you achieved more simply by being born than both your mother and I did when we were your age.” Noatak stated with immense pride and a touch of melancholy- she was so young, still his baby girl, and she was already so filled with doubts and worries and growing much too fast.

“I have?” The girl looked at him, still tracing his face out of habit.

“Yes, darling. You most certainly have.” He nodded and smiled again. Even though the story wasn’t really happy one, it was still something to be proud of. “Someday I’ll tell you all about it but for now I think it’s time we put a smile on your face and go pick up your mama before she gets bored and therefore in trouble.”

Nilak chuckled and agreed, Korra was supposed to be at a rather tedious meeting with the current president of the United Republic and a bunch of foreign ambassadors about some treaty and if they didn’t pick her up on time she would end up stuck with the politicians and probably set something on fire out of pure frustration.

“You’re right…Thank you. For everything, I don’t know what I’d do without you, daddy.” Nilak smiled more truthfully this time.

“A hug is all the thanks this old man needs every once in a while.” Noatak smiled back because Nilak’s joy was infectious.

She hugged him at once, her face nuzzled to his neck and his to her hair, their arms wrapped tightly around each other and both of them sensing each other’s heartbeats, a sensation that through the years had become equivalent to comfort and peace.

“I love you, daddy.” She murmured gratefully and finally at ease. “You’re the only one that always understands.”

“I love you too, Nilak. More than you’ll ever know.” He replied sincerely, enjoying the little moment that became more and more rare as the girl grew up. It seemed like only yesterday she was a baby sleeping in his arms or a toddler crawling over him for attention and now here she was having her first crushes and heartbreaks…


	7. Makeup

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For Polyx because she’s amazing and she deserves recognition and her art is deeply inspiring. Prompt suggested by princess-nipples.  
Girly shenanigans and Noatak’s not-so-secret cosmetic talents. 3,090k words. Enjoy.)

“Look down. Stay still.” He murmurs softly with the brush in his hand as he bends over Korra. “Don’t blink.”

A person watches from the behind the cracked open door- it takes a few short but precise strikes of the brush and when he’s done Korra looks like a whole other person with smoky colored eyelids and black winged eyeliner making her eyes even more chatoyant than usual.

She never liked makeup, the only girly habit she ever found amusing was nail-painting and even when Asami gave her a whole colorful kit of makeup she never got the hang of it and usually forgot all about the stuff until some official event or party or formal meeting popped up and when it did she always ended up asking Noatak for help because after years using cosmetics to disguise himself he was a hundred times better at the task than she could ever be.

“Open.” He orders softly and the twenty-four year old Avatar knows the command well enough by now so she parts her lips ever so slightly and watches him take another brush, dip it in creamy bright pigment and then paint it onto her lips skilfully before blotting it with tissue and applying a subtle second coat. “All done.”

She looks in the mirror and there are those few seconds when the image that reflects back is almost too jarring to recognize, those few moments in which she just stares in surprise and examines that skin that looks like dark cashmere, sultry eyes that look like they came straight out of some beautiful and rare predatory animal, and kissable lips so striking that kissing them would feel like a decadent sin. Then comes the appraisal and finally the smug pleased smile.

“You really are brilliant at this.” Korra compliments every time with a seductive glance at him through the mirror.

“I have the best material to work with.” Noatak retorts lightly, smoothing a lose curl of her pinned hair back into place.

“Is Asami’s stuff that good?” She enquires with fake modesty, swabbing her finger on some bright golden eye shadow and rubbing it between her fingers to savor the texture.

“I meant the canvas, Korra.” He smiles and traces her cheek lightly. “You are a masterpiece in itself, my love.”

“Suck up.” The Avatar grins and stick out her tongue childishly.

“Now, now. That cheeky tongue shouldn’t be tempting me or I’ll end up ruining your lipstick.” The former equalist jokes with a kiss to the back of her neck.

“It will probably end up smeared all over you soon anyway.” Korra wiggles her brows lecherously at him.

“Later. The gala first.” He replies, amused and pleased at the innuendo. He would like nothing better than to have her lip prints all over his body.

“Fine, let’s get this stupid thing over with.” She rises from her seat in front of the mirror and picks up the shoes Asami gave her, wondering how her friend always had shoes that fit on the Avatar’s stupidly small feet.

“Just try to have fun for once.” Noatak advises, knowing full well that if he doesn’t distract her she’ll end up getting irritated at the protocol of the annual Spring gala or angry at prying reporters.

“I will if you dance with me.” Korra bargains slyly, shoes already on and swaying her hips delightfully as she walks to him.

Noatak ends up appreciatively watching the way her curvaceous silhouette moves in the lovely pretty plum dress with its shapely silk clinging to her in all the right ways before fanning out to her feet in a long fishtail skirt, the translucent sleeves hang like lovely living veils, the plunging v-neckline and the open back show just enough skin that he wants to kiss a trail down her spine or across her collarbone and down her cleavage.

“It would be my pleasure, Avatar Korra.” He replies, extending a hand to escort her.

She accepts his hand and lets him twirl her for a moment before they stand hand and hand and prepare to leave. The person behind the door tries to skitter back and escape but fails to do so in time and the door opens right as she stumbles and falls.

“Nilak? Shouldn’t you be playing with Jinny?” Korra leans down to help the little five year old up.

She smells like cinnamon and wild flowers and Nilak just wants to snuggle into that scent and ask her to stay home tonight because she wants this beautiful version of mama all to herself, daddy too even though he doesn’t look anywhere near as stunning as Korra, he looks handsome in the dark maroon and black clothing with his hair slicked back but no matter how attractive he is or how much Nilak clings to him all the time, tonight it’s mama that captures all her attention.

“Is everything alright, sweetheart?” Noatak watches the child cling to the Avatar almost greedily.

“Mama is pretty.” Nilak mumbles shyly.

“Isn’t she? Daddy thinks so too.” He replies with pride and watches the way Korra’s face lights up because a compliment from Nilak is worth more to her than any other flattery anyone could possibly use.

“Stay.” The child pleads.

“We can’t, Nini.” The Avatar hugs the girl and then pats her unruly hair. “But we’ll be back in a little bit, I promise.”

I takes a lot to convince the little girl to let them go, yet some tears and a lot of bargaining later they are late but on their way and Nilak is sniffling but sucking on a sweet treat while Jinora reads her a story.

The evening is long, so very very long. Much like her mother, Nilak grows bored very easily until Jinora’s stories no longer appease her and the many little games the teenager uses to entertain her become dull, the radio seems to keep repeating the same boring man talking about stuff that is too complicated for her little head and the bits of music that come out of it are just so slow and unappealing.

Dinner is a quiet affair because the food aunty Pema sent is good enough that she stuffs her face with it and has no time to talk between chewing and swallowing but after the food and a lot of playing around with Naga and her toys, Nilak gets bored again and Jinora’s best solution is to pop her into a bath and let her play and bend messy splashes as the airbender washes her hair. Yet after that it’s bed time because it’s late and Jinora has to clean up the flooded bathroom.

Another story is told while she lies warm in her fluffy bed with her Mingan plushy snuggled beside her, Nilak nearly falls asleep and Jinora leaves the room so silently that the child doesn’t notice her absence until she opens her eyes again. She doesn’t want to sleep, she’s tired but still bored and mama promised they’d be back before she was sleeping so she stubbornly tries to stay awake.

After a while her eyelids start to droop again and she crawls out of bed to find something to keep her awake. Jinora fell asleep reading a book in the living room and rather than wake her Nilak sneaks into the place she’s been dying to go to all night long.

She’s not supposed to be in her parents’ room, she’s especially not supposed to be playing with mama’s things but she really can’t help herself. She wants to be as pretty as mama and putting on the long single-buttoned turquoise and white coat in Korra’s closet makes her feel like a grown-up because it’s big enough to be a dress on her, mama’s shoes are huge on her feet but she likes those too because she can’t dress up without shoes, right?

Nilak tries to put her hair up like Korra with little lacquered sticks but it doesn’t want to stay up and tumbles down in twisted chocolate knots around the cobalt accessories, only her braids are still safely framing her face. It’s too frustrating so she moves on to the really fun part.

There’s only two or three bottles of perfume and they are mostly full because Korra rarely uses them but Nilak sprays a large amount all over her and then proceeds to scatter makeup items everywhere- the colors are bright and pretty, the creams feel funny on her skin, the powders make fun puffs and clouds before they fade and using the brushes and the lip-paints is like her favorite hobby of drawing except she is the canvas herself and that makes things even more fun.

“I didn’t mean to set his clothes on fire. It was an accident…” The voice flutters from the hallway and Nilak freezes in fright.

“One that wouldn’t happen if you didn’t insist on showing off your bending when you dance.” A second voice admonished sternly but hiding some amusement.

“You’re the one who told me to have fun.” Korra’s voice grumbles closer now.

Nilak rushes to hide the mess she made in drawers and under bed sheets, then she sits and hopes that daddy and mama will think her just as pretty as Korra herself but when the door opens the pair just stand there looking around in obvious surprise.

The room is in chaos hidden so clumsily that it just makes it worse, the bed sheets are dirty with a myriad of colors, Korra’s clothes are too and strewn across the floor, the mirror is covered in sticky handprints, the heavy smell of spilled perfume fills the air but it’s Nilak’s appearance that captures their attention- the Avatar’s clothes are too big on her and falling off her skinny shoulders, she’s swimming in the too big shoes, her hair is a tangled mess stabbed through with cobalt carved hair sticks and it’s dirty with foundation and powders, her eyes are layered with many splatters of colors but she thought it was boring to have both eyes the same so each eye as a different collection of hues, the black eyeliner is so thickly caked around her eyes that it smudges all over her face, the mascara is so badly applied that black streaks decorate her eyelids, the pink blush on her cheeks is so heavy it’s almost clownish and her lips are stained red in such a messy way that the bloody pigment spreads out up her cheeks in a scary cartoonish smile.

“Oh Nilak…” Noatak sighs lightly, shaking his head slightly and burying his face in the palm of his hand.

“Nilak! How many times must we tell you not to play with mama’s things?” Korra reprimands, trying to hold back her laughter at the sight of the girl and failing utterly because it comes out in snorts between her words. “Look at this mess!”

They didn’t like it. Nilak realizes this quickly and she’s not sure what’s worse- the scolding Korra gives out, the laughter or Noatak’s tired disappointment. She doesn’t even apologize and just looks down with tears starting to smudge the mess of makeup even further as she quietly resigns to the fact that all her hard work was for nothing.

Noatak notices the reaction and taps Korra on the shoulder to stop her nonsensical rant as she uncovers more confusion stashed in the drawers and under the bed, he nods towards the little girl and Korra starts laughing all over again unable to hold back but immediately feels terrible about it when she sees tears.

“Nilak…” Noatak crouches down to the child’s level. “You were just trying to look as pretty as mama, weren’t you?”

Nilak nods and hiccups a little but she doesn’t have the nerve to look at him.

“Want some help?” He offers, picking up makeup remover and a cloth along with the brushes.

The girl nods enthusiastically almost at once and finally looks at him, her excited smile is heartwarming but Korra is still snorting at the sight of that cartoonish mess of color. Noatak starts cleaning away the mess from her face and lets Korra handle their daughter’s hair with a few waterbending cheats to clean up the mess.

“Just remember that you’re not supposed to touch mama’s things when we’re not around, alright sweetheart?” He reprimands gently but seriously as he finishes cleaning up the mess she made on her own face.

“Yes, daddy…” Nilak grumbles.

Korra ends up getting a sashed tunic that Bolin gave her for her birthday, she hasn’t worn it in years because it’s too garish and has too many sparkles and beads on it but she finds good use for it by slipping it on the little girl and tying it such a manner that it works as a dress without falling off or looking baggy. Meanwhile Noatak chose to lightly dust the girl’s eyes with violet and gold to bring out the periwinkle in her eyes, he then sprinkled lightweight translucent glitter on her cheeks and pale pink shiny lip-paint on her lips.

“Look down. Stay still.” He commands, much like he does with Korra. “Don’t blink.”

The eyeliner isn’t black but a soft shade of white and goes on quickly and smoothly. Once they are done, Noatak picks up the girl and turns her to the mirror.

Nilak stares- she looks pretty, really pretty, and all the glitter and sparkles catch the light in a way that mesmerizes her, she plays with the dangly beads of the tunic and tilts her head to see her face a little better, smacking her slippery lips because of the weird sensation. It’s odd and takes too long, it wears down her patience but she likes it because now she looks a little more like mama, now she looks like a fancy little lady.

“Now that you’re all dressed up, you just need a party to go to.” Korra comments with a smile, smacking a dark kiss on the little girl’s cheek.

“Why don’t you and mama go dance while Jinora and I clean this up?” Noatak suggests and the girls’ eyes practically sparkle at the suggestion.

They wake Jinora who immediately becomes frantic and apologizes when she spots the mess but they don’t blame her because she’s barely sixteen and they know Nilak has a habit of sneaking out of bed long after they believe her asleep. With the airbender’s help Noatak manages to clean up the room in as much time as it took to dress up the little girl, even the bedding is changed and the heavy scent of perfume is cleared out before all the dirty garments and sheets are shoved in the laundry basket.

When Jinora leaves, she compliments Nilak’s appearance and offers to teach her some new dances next time they spend the evening together. The little girl is excited by the prospect and waves as the airbender leaves before she returns to her mother.

Korra is barefooted and dances with the girl to some new tune on the late night music station of the radio, she bends little sparks of fire in the wake of her hands and legs and little fine swirls of water from the kitchen sink around her with every twirl along with gusts of air that make their clothes flutter, she has become fond of bending as she dances just to show off and Nilak is enthralled by the spectacle. Noatak leans against the doorframe and watches them, ignoring the frivolous use of bending for once and smiling lightly, wanting to memorize the scene or perhaps stay in that moment forever.

“Daddy, you too!” Nilak demands after a while, pulling him into the living-room and opening her arms expectantly.

“As you wish, princess.” He takes the child’s hands and lets her stand on his feet as he dances her across the room gracefully, with little spins and twirls that make the girl giggle and ask for more.

As much as she wants some alone time with her lover, Korra doesn’t mind waiting because she knows the child will exhaust herself to sleep soon and the scene is just so lovely that it makes up for all the wait. She smirks in the background, watching them both lovingly and somewhat jealous but her wait doesn’t last long and they end pulling her to them for a three-way dance to some soft jazzy beat…

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“Look down. Stay still.” Noatak murmurs the command, his hand is not as steady as it once was but he’s still competent enough to swipe the dark eyeliner onto Nilak’s eyes. “Don’t blink.”

She does blink because she’s so distracted but he manages to salvage the cat-eyed wing before it smudges, though he frowns a little at her obvious unfocused dreamy state. The seventeen year old was so nervous just a couple of hours ago, tossing about clothing and panicking about what would be appropriate to wear in the Fire Nation for this gala the Firelord is hosting in the Avatar’s honor but as soon as Noatak sat her down to fix the mess she was making on her makeup with her usually talented but now nervous hands, the girl seemed to quiet down at once with a faraway look in her eyes.

“Are you alright, baby?” He asked, tilting her by the chin to apply some light peach color on her lips.

“Yeah… Just strutting down memory lane.” She smiles, remembering her antics eleven years prior and how happy she had been that night. Her beaming face can light up a room with beauty that rivals even her mother’s.

“Are you guys ready? We’re going to be late.” Speaking of Korra, she struts into the room in a lovely red, blue and gold dress that brings out the best in her curves with its tight fitting bodice and layers of knee high skirt that whirl when she moves.

“Since when do you care about punctuality, mom?” Nilak tosses at the woman playfully.

“I don’t, I’m just tired of waiting for you to primp up so you can steal my spotlight.” The Avatar sticks her tongue out childishly and Nilak laughs and blushes slightly because that’s her mother’s way of calling her beautiful.

“Dad is the one doing the primping, he can make anyone look pretty.” Nilak chuckles and smiles at her father. “He’s the talented one with makeup.”

“And you haven’t even seen his bacon face.” Korra replied, moving closer and elbowing the man in question lightly while laughing at the old joke, completely disregarding the fact that his scars are real now.

“Well, makeup or no makeup, together you two steal the spotlight even from the Firelord herself.” Noatak compliments the women of his life self-assuredly, wrapping an arm around Korra and leaning down to place a soft kiss to her red lips. “My ladies are always the gems of the party.”


	8. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For the lovely Anon that requested jealous Noatak and Korra in the parenting sense.   
Probably not what was expected but still very adorable sugary family fluff.  
1,051k words. Enjoy.)

“Aahhh…” Korra said, opening her mouth to coach the little six month old in front of her to do the same and when she did Korra gently popped a spoon full of fruit porridge into Nilak’s mouth.

The baby tasted the food, spat half of it out and swallowed the rest. The Avatar frowned and blew a stray lock of hair from her face impatiently before cleaning up the child’s sticky face and trying again.

“Come on now, big spoonful.” She moved the spoon to capture the baby’s attention with slow spiraling movements and this time the little girl did take in the spoon and swallowed all of the warm sweet goo.

“Good girl.” Korra praised cheerfully and pat Nilak’s head, the child laughed and clapped her hands delighted by the happy tone.

“I see you’ve made some progress.” A voice spoke behind her and Korra tilted her head back comically to grin at the owner of said deep rusty baritone who had just walked in carrying a box of groceries.

“Yes, I can finally do something you can’t.” She stuck out her tongue in jest still in the awkward position and he swooped down to capture that cheeky tongue as was their habit for a quaint little upside-down kiss.

“Yes, well, brag while you can, Avatar.” Noatak retorted after the kiss, watching her sit normally again with a huge grin on her face as she coached the baby into accepting another spoonful of food.

“Oh I intend to.” Korra chuckled and wiped Nilak’s drooling mouth carefully. “Isn’t that right, Nini? Mama can do something that daddy can’t~!” She sang the words in mockery and the baby laughed again.

Noatak tried to maintain his usually blank stoic expression but his lips tightened with annoyance, he refused to admit it but he was jealous and he knew full well he was having a taste of what Korra often endured so he would not give her the pleasure of knowing she was getting to him.

The fact was, just as soon as Nilak’s colic issues had disappeared and she had started sleeping through the night at the precocious age of three months a new challenge had arisen- teething. The baby would randomly start screaming and drooling and bite everything in sight even a couple of months before the first tooth ever made its debut in her gums much to everyone’s annoyance and only Noatak could calm her, this had really irritated the Avatar because she had always been jealous of his talent with the baby and the way his voice, a voice that often struck pure terror in grand enemies, could both mesmerize the child or put her to sleep with his raspy songs.

Yet there was one thing Noatak had never able to do and that was to get Nilak to eat, when it came to bottles she would push them away and cry and when it came to other foods she just tossed them at him or spit all over the place so the fact that Korra could feed the baby with just a little strain to her patience was something that made her immensely proud because it was the one thing he couldn’t do.

“…Don’t get too conceited, soon enough she will be feeding herself and won’t need you for the task either.” He grumbled rather sourly as he took a seat next to them after placing the box on the table and taking off his coat.

“Looks like someone is having a bad case of the jellies.” The Avatar teased and dabbed some sweet milky porridge on his cheek with a jolt of laughter. “Right, Nini?”

“Dah!” The baby replied, totally clueless but giggling in reaction to her mother’s good humor.

“Hilarious.” Noatak retorted dryly. He attempted to wipe away the goo but Korra beat him to it by leaning close and actually licking it off his cheek.

“Um… Tastes much better off you than off the spoon.” She joked and then winked in a rather lecherous manner. “Maybe I should try that more thoroughly later.”

Korra chuckled before guiding another spoonful of the porridge into the baby’s waiting mouth while the surprised and slightly blushed man stared and struggled to find a good comeback.

“…” Nothing came to mind and Noatak ended up just clearing his throat and watching the Avatar, trying hard to resist the temptation of paying her back by licking every inch of her body because even in a stained loose green tunic, with messy hair and making silly faces she still looked absolutely delectable and he was supposed to be irritated and jealous, damn it, not drooling all over her just because of a silly joke.

“Cat got your tongue?” Korra teased as she finished feeding the baby and cleaned her up. She then handed Nilak a water-filled rubbery chew toy that he had just frozen with bending since the cold helped with the teething pain.

“I merely didn’t see a need to rise to childish baits.” He retorted testily and picked up the baby.

“My, this really is getting to you, huh?” The Avatar grinned mischievously.

“Of course not.” With that he walked away with his daughter to go change her dirty clothes but as soon as they were out of Korra’s earshot he grumbled to the baby. “You could stop letting your mama grind my gears, you know?”

“Puu…” Nilak blew out the sound, still chewing on her toy.

“Right. You probably enjoy our battles for your attention, don’t you?” He muttered, holding the girl up above him before making her swoop down repeatedly until she laughed and then he held her up so he could kiss her nose.

“Dah!” The baby agreed with an innocent coy smile and snuggled close to his large warm body.

“You are the most adorable and yet manipulative little critter I have ever encountered.” Noatak caressed Nilak’s tiny head with a more mollified smile this time.

“She’s your daughter, what did you expect?” Korra replied, having caught that last comment when she walked up to him, wiping her damp hands after cleaning up the baby’s dishes.

Noatak just smirked in reply as Nilak practically purred in delight at his attentions and the Avatar hung over his shoulder to place a playful peacemaking peck on his face.


	9. Valentine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Happy (late) Valentine’s Day, Amorrians!   
It’s Valentine’s Day in Republic City… Or something similar. Cheesy romance a little sexiness near the end…  
1,753k words. Enjoy.)

It was night already, he was late and she hated waiting, he knew that so why did he insist on keeping her waiting? It was bad enough that it was her day off and yet all her friends, even Tenzin himself, seemed to have plans and dates so her whole boring day had just been about lounging around, giving Naga a bath and taking care of Nilak while she waited for her own date to get home.

“At least Nilak’s asleep now…” She spoke to nobody in particular as she sank onto the couch with her head tipped back, glad to finally have a moment of peace to herself. She wore only her slacks and one of Noatak’s old button-up shirts that was tied at the bottom and was undone just enough to show her generous cleavage.

“And here I wanted to put her to bed tonight.” He walked in casually with a bag in his arms and leaned down to kiss the Avatar before she could react. “Good evening, Korra.”

“You’re late.” Korra grumbled but kissed back lightly.

“My apologies. Work ran late and I had an errand to run as well.” Noatak removed his coat and then the mask that he placed on the low table.

“What errand?” She raised a brow suspiciously.

“Would you like to know?” He smirked lightly.

“Well duh!”

“Here.” Noatak pulled a box out of the paper bag and handed it to her rather unceremoniously before he sat next to her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

“What’s this?” She examined the flat octagonal box wrapped in crinkled red paper with a white flower decorating it.

“A little treat.” He replied, urging her to open it.

Korra ripped the paper off and opened the box finding a collection of delicious looking sculpted bonbons decorated with tiny sugar flowers.

She didn’t have that much experience with chocolate, she knew it was a western Earth Kingdom confection made out of grains native to the Fire Nation but she had only tasted it after arriving in Republic City and only a few times, courtesy of Asami, yet from the rare occasions she had eaten the treat the flavor had become ingrained in her mind so that simply looking at the pretty bonbons that seemed much too beautiful to eat made her mouth water.

“What’s the occasion?” Korra licked her lips lightly, tracing the edges of the box and trying to resist temptation.

“You don’t know what day it is?”

“Huh? Day?” She considered his words but no special dates occurred to her that month other than Nilak’s first birthday that was a week away.

“I guess it’s to be expected. It isn’t celebrated in the Water Tribes after all.” Noatak replied with an understanding nod, after so long living in the United Republic he had almost forgotten the difference in customs with their homeland.

“I’ve been in Republic City for two years, Noatak.” Korra interjected skeptically. How could she have missed any holidays after so long?

“Yes but last year you were under captivity and the year before we were at war so I suppose there was no time for trivial traditions.” He reminded.

“Ok but are you going to tell me what day it is or what?” She crossed her arms looking impatient and struggling to resist the chocolates for a little longer.

“A day to celebrate love.” He smiled handsomely despite his marked face.

“Oh?” Now she was intrigued.

“Yes, it is custom to offer one’s romantic interest gifts on this day, traditionally sweets or flowers. But of course the traditions vary from place to place.” Noatak replied lightly, twisting a lock of her hair between his fingers absentminded. He had considered flowers but he knew she was tired of those and disliked how impractical and girly they were so he discarded the idea.

“Really?” Korra looked down at the treats and then smiled at him. “Is this your way of saying you love me?”

“One of many, my dear Avatar.” He leaned close and rubbed their noses lightly together in that display of affection that was so typical to the Water Tribe and that he had become so fond of.

“It still amazes me that the fearsome Amon has such a soft side.” She joked as she returned the little affection.

“Only for the ladies of my life.” The former equalist replied, referring to Korra and Nilak and perhaps to his mother as well.

“I love you too, old man.” She grinned and tapped his chest lightly and bashfully with her knuckles. “Sorry I have no gift for you.”

“I don’t need repayment.” Noatak spoke truthfully and let her lean on him, after all since when did acts of love demand reciprocity?

“Yeah, but I’m missing out on the fun of finding you a gift.” Korra chuckled.

“There’s always White day.” He suggested.

“Huh?” The avatar looked at him in confusion.

“It’s a month from now, a day for those who received gifts today to reciprocate the favor. It’s not as popular.” Noatak explained patiently.

“Sounds cool.” She grinned before tracing the sugary confections with the tips of her fingers. “So what’s the story behind all this?”

“Curious? Most people don’t even know the story, the legend has been forgotten by many but everyone still enjoys the celebration.”

“Of course I’m curious, tell me.” She insisted, now getting comfortable on his lap to listen to the story.

“Long ago, during a rather bloody period of the hundred year war, the was a time when the Fire Nation prohibited marriages of any man under a certain age, marriages with other cultures were also forbidden because colonization and intermingling was not yet the goal. The point of this was to direct all the single men, and possibly some women, into the army- married people have more to loose and therefore make lesser soldiers and more likely to run instead of fighting to the death, not to mention that if a married man died in battle the army would have to provide for the widow.”

“What does this have to do with love?” The Avatar interrupted, obviously puzzled.

“I’m getting to that.” Noatak stated with chuckle. “There was a man of Air Nomad heritage but a non-bender that survived the genocide and chose the life of a monk. This man broke the law and began to secretly bless and marry couples in subterfuge despite the bounty that the army placed on his head.”

“So… This is basically a day to celebrate some hero priest?” Korra questioned.

“No. The monk was caught and imprisoned but he still stood up to the Fire Nation and claimed that he could continue to defend love and marry people so long as there was breath in his body.”

“And?” She demanded more, eagerly hoping for a climax to the story.

“What do you think happened? They made sure there was no more breath in his body. He was accused of treason and, story has it, burned at the stake on this very day of the year.”

“That’s it? No fight for justice? No miraculous salvation or escape?” Korra was a little disappointed.

“Not everything is about fighting, Korra. He was a pacifist and his purpose was to defend love so fighting and hating his enemy would have been counter-productive, he became a martyr and a symbol of the purity of love which is exactly what most nations celebrate in his memory on this day no matter how naïve the whole concept is.” Noatak explained, amused by her take on the whole tale.

“Hm… It sounds like a great holiday and a great story but it feels like celebrating an execution. I’m not sure I like that ending, a heroic fight for love would be more my style.” The Avatar stated.

“I believe everyone is well aware of that by now, my love.” He teased, tracing her lower lip with his thumb and remembering exactly how hard she had fought for him.

“Why is chocolate traditional though?” She asked while tilting her head to his touch automatically.

“I assume it started as symbol of cooperation between the Fire Nation that produces the raw material, the Air Nomads that refined the confection process and the Earth Kingdom that actually produces it. It is something common to the nations that celebrate this day and therefore to the United Republic as well.” He mused with his usual technical practically but then grinned and added- “It also happens to be an aphrodisiac so I assume that plays a major part as well.”

“Really now?” Korra smiled mischievously raising the box up. “Shall we test that?”

“It would be my pleasure.” Noatak took a random bonbon and placed it in her mouth. “Good?”

The crisp chocolate shell broke apart with minimal pressure of her teeth and the flavor within it flooded her mouth- it was some sort of liquor, cherry for what she could tell, and indeed a preserved cherry rolled onto her tongue and its tart sweetness mingled with the chocolate in the most delectable way.

“Alcoholic.” The Avatar replied with a chuckle, still savoring the flavor. “But yeah, delicious.”

He kissed her deeply and invasively so that their lips glued together and his tongue wrapped around hers in a heated dance for a few moments before he broke the kiss with his usual smirk. “Yes, delicious indeed.”

Korra licked her lips that still tingled lightly from the passionate kiss and then she straddled his lap, setting the box next to them. She grabbed another bonbon, this one a little lighter in shade and bigger as well.

“These have different fillings don’t they?” She questioned, eyeing the sweet in her hand almost impishly.

“Apparently.” Noatak nodded.

“Let’s have some fun figuring them out.” Korra grinned and bit into the chocolate whose golden contents dripped in sticky gooey strands down her chin and on her cleavage. “Oh, caramel.”

“My favorite.” He pulled her closer and leaned in just enough to place his face on her chest and lick seductively and slowly between her cleavage and up to her collarbone before doing the same to her chin and capturing her mouth for another heated kiss.

Korra blushed but arched her back slightly to press closer to him and make that sweet kiss harder and needier, wondering just how long that box of chocolates would last, how far she could abuse her clumsiness and get them both messy and how she planned to use the treats to enjoy the evening thoroughly.


	10. How Did This Happen?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For ravenstarwind40  
As usual, these ficlets are NOT to be taken too seriously because even though they are canon in the “Castaway” universe for now, this can change and most likely will considering how the story evolves. Still, I have to warn that this ficlet is VERY spoilery for my headcanon future for Korra and Noatak’s family (even though it won’t spoil any real action in the story). Read at your own risk.  
Some drama and family stress but some cuteness too.  
3,189k words. Enjoy.)

«Damn it!» Korra tried to curse out loud but could only think the words because her mouth was too busy gagging and filling up with bile as she rushed to the bathroom.

She reached the toilet just in time to empty the contents of her stomach into it. She had been feeling off for a while but never expected to become so violently ill out of nowhere. Then again, it had happened enough times lately that she should have predicted this.

Vomiting was never something pleasant to anyone but to the Avatar it was torture, she hated the way her throat burned and her stomach roiled, she hated the sweat on her brow and the sensation that she was choking and her chest was being compressed by a trash compactor, yet most of all she hated feeling weak and being unable to hide it.

There was a knock on the door and she wanted to answer but couldn’t stop gagging for long enough to say a single word.

“Mom? You ok in there?” Nilak’s voice floated from the other side of the door, sounding concerned and quite nervous. “Mom?”

“I’m fine.” Korra managed to say in a rush before she gagged again.

“You don’t sound ok.” The twelve year old objected. “Can I come in?”

“No!” Korra replied a panic just before she choked and coughed for a long painful minute. “N-no. It’s ok, Nilak. You can go now.”

“Are you feeling sick again?” The girl asked, almost as distressed as the Avatar herself. “Can I help? I could get some ginger tea or I could try healing?” At once, Nilak’s protective caretaking instincts kicked in, she simply couldn’t stand seeing someone suffering, especially not if it was a loved one.

“I’ll be…” Korra paused to cough and spit bile for a moment. “…fine. I’ll be fine.”

“Mom, please! I’m worried!” The girl said, leaning against the door. “It’s getting worse, isn’t it?”

“I said- I’m fine!” The Avatar snapped angrily but ended puking her guts out again and this time Nilak disobeyed and came inside, kneeling next to her and holding back her hair immediately with trembling hands. It was always a shock for a child to see such weakness in their parents.

“Avatar Korra, you are _not_ fine.” Nilak scolded sternly, sounding almost like her father. Speaking of which…

“Where’s your dad?” Korra asked tiredly, pressing her forehead against cold porcelain and spitting to get the acrid taste out of her mouth.

“At the school with uncle Liu.” She pinned her mother’s hair carefully with one of her own pins and rubbed the woman’s back slowly.

“Your brothers?” The Avatar asked, panting slightly to catch her breath while her stomach still churned and threatened to turn inside out again.

“Uncle Bo took them out for mochi after school.” The girl replied with ease. “I was going too but I chose not to because I was worried for you.”

“I already said I’m…” Korra swallowed dryly and took a breath. “I’m fine, Nini.”

“Yeah, that’s why you’re puking all over the place.” The girl rolled her eyes full of sass.

“It’s probably just something I ate, kiddo.” The Avatar tried to sound convincing but suddenly retched again, destroying any and all confidence her words inspired.

“That’s it. I’m going to try healing.” Nilak decided in mild panic. She had never really mastered the skill of healing, she was pretty mediocre at it, but she was desperate enough to try.

Korra wanted to argue but her mouth was once more too busy to form words. She didn’t want Nilak to heal her, she didn’t even want Nilak, or Noatak for that matter, to touch her because she was terrified of what either of them might sense… She had been in denial for some time now but it was getting harder and harder to refute the signs, after all the last time Korra felt this sick was…

“Mom?” Nilak interrupted her thoughts, her hands were already covered in glowing liquid. “Let me do it.”

“I don’t want…” Korra argued feebly.

“Too bad, I’m doing it anyway.” With that the girl pressed the cool caress of the water onto her mother’s body.

The Avatar practically held her breath as Nilak worked, the healing soothed her stomach enough that she managed to stop gagging and retching but the nausea didn’t disappear and after several minutes the young girl was getting frustrated and her brows scrunched together as she attempted to focus a little harder on the healing. At last she gave up and the water was shoved into the sink but Nilak’s hands rested against her mother’s skin, slipping under her cerulean top unceremoniously to rest on Korra’s abdomen as soon as she realized something was different.

“Hm… Mom?” The girl looked a little doubtful and unsure of how to voice her thoughts.

“Don’t.” Korra begged, she didn’t have the strength to push her daughter back but she didn’t want to hear the words and her troubled expression triggered something in Nilak.

“You know, don’t you?” The twelve year old scowled, her hands still planted on her mother’s skin, sensing something unique that she only knew from her father’s descriptions of it, something that only they could feel with their distinctive skills. “You know but you don’t want to hear it.”

“Nilak, just stop.” The Avatar shook her head tiredly and wiped sweat from her forehead. “It’s nothing.”

“Mom, you’re pregnant. That’s not nothing.” Nilak finally let go and crossed her arms.

“Nuh-uh. I’m not having this conversation.” The thirty year old Avatar tried to get up but slumped back to the floor with another wave of vertigo. “Ugh…”

“What’s the big deal?” The girl was confused. “You’ve had three kids already, what’s wrong with one more?”

“Exactly! Three kids! I’m the Avatar, I don’t have time for this.” Korra snapped but the words came out cruel and tasted like ashy lies.

“Gee, thanks, mom.” Nilak retorted a little dryly. “Good to know we’re such a waste of time.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t… I mean, I’m sorry, that came out awful.” The Avatar regretted her callousness at once.

“I know what you mean, mom. You love us but you’re busy with less than safe things and so is dad.” Nilak waved off the remark because fortunately for Korra this was a girl that knew when she was being lied to and in this case that meant she knew Korra was just making flimsy excuses. Still, she didn’t think she should insist for the truth, not yet. “You should have been more careful then.”

“That’s just it- we were careful!” Korra countered with a childish pout.

“Riiight…” Nilak sounded sarcastic and unconvinced and watched her mother blush. If there was one person that had caught Korra and Noatak in compromising positions more than once it was this kid, she had become somewhat used to the fact that her parents were sexual creatures from very early on whether they were aware of it or not.

“Seriously, we were! We are!” The Avatar defended, wondering why the hell she was discussing her sex life with a twelve year old. “Whatever, the point is- this shouldn’t be happening.”

“Is it really that bad?” The girl asked tentatively, she for one wouldn’t mind more siblings, she loved having a big family even though she was a bit of a loner by nature or perhaps it was precisely because of that since family was always there even if she tried to isolate herself, family understood what was in her blood and what made her strange, family could support each other, family didn’t get bored and leave like some people did.

“Nilak…” Korra sighed.

How could she explain it? How could Korra tell her daughter that she wasn’t scared of having another kid and instead what terrified her was that she hadn’t had symptoms, and dreams, so horrible since she was pregnant with Nilak herself and that made her fear a repeat of the nightmare that had been Nilak’s birth? She couldn’t tell her daughter that, she could tell the girl that she had practically died because of her, no, not when Nilak already had so much sense of guilt to handle in her life.

The twins had been so easy- they had been planned, a gamble that Korra desperately wanted to try to make up for lost time, one that Noatak only risked because she and Nilak acted miserable until he accepted and because the odds of Nilak’s situation repeating itself should have been null. Of course, they never expected two at once but everything had gone so smoothly, so safely, and not a sign of bloodbending or visions or creepy Spirits influencing things from the backstage; the labor had been painful, stupidly long by Korra’s standards and filled with screaming and arguing but it had been normal and the boys were perfectly healthy and the spitting image of their mother. Still, the couple had decided never to do it again, the twins had been a stroke of luck, a blessing, and they weren’t foolish enough to test that luck further even if Nilak’s case was more likely to have been a fluke than the boys’.

And now, after all the immense precautions they took, even after all the herbs, tricks, condoms and other assorted new products in the market, it seemed they were destined to have to go through all the anxiety of a third pregnancy… One that didn’t exactly come in the most stable of times for the Avatar either.

_«Well, at least it’s not harmonic convergence or world war time again.»_ The little voice of her conscience tried to weakly cheer her up and failed completely.

“Mom?” Nilak waved a hand in front of the Avatar’s face. Apparently she had zoned out for a bit.

“Help me get to bed, ok? I want to sleep this off.” Korra stated softly, bending some water to drink and wash out the horrid acidic taste on her tongue.

The girl agreed and helped her mother up, supporting her all the way towards the bedroom where the Avatar sunk onto her mattress and sighed. She didn’t really plan to sleep, she just wanted to think in peace without feeling sicker but as soon as she was lying on her stomach and shortly after her head hit the pillow she was already dozing off, dragged unwilling to some hazy dark dream that she didn’t want to have while Nilak took the initiative to check with Pema about dinner since it was obvious nobody was going to cook in the Avatar’s household that evening.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“Korra… Korra…” A voice reached into her shadowy dreams and slowly pulled her back to awareness. The tone was gentle and soft but urgent and distressed and that caught her attention.

“Hm… Noatak?” The Avatar blinked sleepily and raised a tattooed hand to rub her eyes as she rolled around to look at the man that sat beside her on the edge of the bed. It was dark already which meant she slept most of the afternoon away but for once she couldn’t remember what she had been dreaming about and that was a relief.

“Are you really awake?” He enquired, lightly pushing her messy hair off her face.

“Yeah.” She nodded and sat up, rubbing her temples to chase away the beginning of a headache. “Where are the kids?”

“Having dinner at the temple.” Noatak replied and watched her cautiously for a long silent moment.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?” Korra shot at him nervously even though she could guess the answer.

“Nilak told me.” He replied somberly.

“Ugh, I should have told her to keep her mouth shut.” The Avatar regretted forgetting that Nilak always told her father every darn little thing.

“Why?” He sounded almost pained. “Why would you hide this from me, Korra?”

“Because… I don’t know, maybe because I don’t want to believe it.” She looked at everything but his face.

Noatak stared at her and then sighed and ran his hands through his hair that was starting to pepper with grey at the temples, it was a very human display of exhaustion and stress. “How did this even happen?”

“Your guess is as good as mine.” She shrugged. “Maybe that time at Asami’s party? Or maybe that day on the beach?”

“Both situations had some distinct lapses in judgment but not enough to justify the current situation.” He pointed out.

“Then I got nothing.” She flopped back onto the bed, once again rubbing the sides of her head. However, she was grateful that he hadn’t flipped his lid and started panicking like he had five years before when they found out she was expecting two babies instead of one...To be fair she had panicked even more than him at the time and there were still cracks in the house walls to prove it.

“Korra…” Noatak moved closer and his hand travelled slowly up her thigh and hip until it slipped under her shirt. “May I?”

“Go ahead.” The Avatar nodded and felt his hand tremble lightly against her skin before it slowly settled over her lower abdomen.

Noatak’s face went from restrained exhaustion to focused calm and then to a slight frown. The silence stretched out as he concentrated and Korra was so acutely aware of the heat of his palm against her skin that it was starting make her fidget and chew her lip impatiently.

“So? Are you convinced?” Korra broke the silence when she couldn’t take anymore.

“Nilak is getting better me. It’s still so small that I would have missed it completely if I didn’t know what I was looking for.” He commented, confirming what they already knew. It was hard to tell how he felt because his tone was so neutral but she knew him well enough that she thought she could make out some pride, some awe or an emotion similar to it, and plenty anxiety too, all mixed up and hidden under that mask of composure.

“Oh…” Korra didn’t know what else to say because suddenly it was all too real, having Noatak confirm the pregnancy sobered her up and made everything ten times more serious because there was no way he was mistaken and so there was no way she could keep hiding in denial.

He moved closer, his hand still rested on her stomach but now he was examining the shadows under eyes and the pallor of her skin. She expected him to ask what they were going to do now but instead he just asked- “How are you feeling?”

“Lousy.” The Avatar closed her eyes and took a slow breath- it was time to bear all the Pai Sho tiles. “Which is exactly why I’m stressing out.”

“How so?” He enquired.

“Noatak… It’s not like last time, I feel so damn sick and drained and I’ve been dreaming again. It’s like…”

“Like when you expected Nilak.” He finished for her and now there was an edge of sharp fear in his collected voice. “I see.” He didn’t have to say anymore, she could tell he was getting dragged into exactly the same fears she was.

“What if it happens again? What if something goes wrong? I can’t heal this time, I no longer have a moon-drop. What if this kid is the one that kills me for good?” Korra asked, her throat had suddenly gone dry but she forced the words out anyway.

Only then did she realize how awful her words sounded, like she was blaming the child, like she was blaming Noatak’s genes for something that might not even happen. She knew he was considering something along the same lines and blaming himself, he had the annoying habit of doing so, and she regretted speaking like that but she didn’t have the strength to take back the words.

“That won’t happen.” Noatak snapped at once, refusing to hear her negativity even though his tone confirmed that he was thinking the same thing. “I won’t let it happen. Everything will be ok.”

“And here I thought you were supposed to be the realistic one in our relationship.” She smiled weakly and sardonically.

“I am and the reality is that I will not lose you, not to a child of ours.” He stated with absolute determination.

“…I guess we’ll worry it about it when the time comes.” Korra retorted, she wanted to trust him but she was too scared and so she ended up falling into her default confident mode that only took one thing at the time. “You know what the fucked up part is? I actually want to be happy about this, _we_ should be able to be happy about this- we are healthy adults in a loving and stable relationship and a kid should be something to celebrate but nooooo, we can’t, instead here we are panicking and wondering what the hell we did wrong.”

“…You’re right.” Noatak nodded and gently pulled her to sit on his lap. “This really should be something to celebrate, it’s a result of our love and after all what are really the odds that Nilak’s case could repeat itself? The circumstances were so unique back then and we are so much better prepared now…”

“You’re trying to calm yourself even more than you’re trying to comfort me, aren’t you?” She smirked knowingly but she appreciated the effort and wrapped her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder.

“Yes but it’s still true. We can’t only look at the frightening side and the possible dangers, this is our baby and that should be something good, shouldn’t it?” Noatak murmured a little tentatively and held her close. He was trying to ascertain whether or not it was ok to be happy about the news. “Stress won’t help us in this situation, and it’s really not the child’s fault.”

“Uh uh.” She agreed, slowly starting to relax to him now that their fears were out in the open and they were both starting to unwind a little.

“Should we tell the children? The boys, I mean.” Noatak asked, trying to live in the moment as much as Korra did but not quite managing to keep their worries at bay even if they were both falling into an unspoken agreement to ignore the possible dangers of the situation for the time being.

“Yeah.” The Avatar nodded and an honest smile actually graced her lips. “How do you think they’ll react?”

“Either with extreme jealousy or with disproportionate excitement.” He smiled a little as well because either reaction from the five year olds would be entertaining and they were unpredictable enough that there was no way to know how they would take the news. “I’m sure Nilak would love another sibling though.”

“Maybe… Hm… Maybe we should let ourselves be a little excited to?” Korra wondered to herself as much as to him. “Can we?”

“…I’d like that.” Noatak nodded and kissed the top of her head, taking in the soothing scent of her hair. “I’d love that more than anything.”

“So would I.” She admitted in the safety of his arms.


	11. The Boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (for deliriossaborvainilla  
No idea why I wrote this, someone suggested a birth fic and another person wanted more of the boys so I ended inspired to write this because headcanons (and the last ficlet). This is both filled with family fluff, failed attempts of comic-relief, profanity, a little drama and it’s kinda graphic in some points since it’s about childbirth. And there’s twins, lots of twins.  
Huge one-shot- 8,884k words. Enjoy.)

As usual Korra had impeccable timing, they were on their way to the South Pole with Nilak when it all started… It was supposed to be their last visit for a while because the Avatar’s belly was huge and round and she was supposed to deliver in a month and a half and after that they wouldn’t be doing much travelling for some time and Korra was paranoid with the idea that she needed to see her parents before the twins came along.

Noatak understood the urgency- everything had been going well for all intents and purposes, in fact other than the fact that they were surprised by two babies instead of one the whole pregnancy had just been going too well and things going as expected was not something they were used to so Korra was afraid, she was scared that something fatal might happen with this delivery and she wanted to see her parents one last time if it happened… Except she didn’t get a chance because their small discreet ship was preparing to dock in the South Pole, still two hours away from the capital city for recent safety reasons, when the contractions started.

“It’s too early… Too damn early!” The Avatar kept hissing out in mingled rage and pain whenever she felt the constricting jab of a contraction. It reminded Noatak eerily of a day when she had said the same words- the day Nilak was born.

A little girl with periwinkle eyes was clinging to his arm shyly as Naga started pulling them along in a sleigh right after they disembarked, the contractions were still quite far apart so they hoped they might make it to the city in time if the polar bear dog really ran.

“Daddy, what’s wrong with mama?” Nilak asked a little frightened after a long stretch of silence punctuated only by the Avatar’s harsh breathing and the pop of her joints whenever she tried to flex the tension off her limbs.

“She’s hurting a little, Nilak.” He explained softly. “But she will ok, it’s just your little siblings saying it’s time to come out.”

“They’re coming to today?” The seven year old brightened up with excitement but just then Korra winced and lurched forward a little breathless, cursing under her breath and attracting Nilak’s worried attention. “Does it hurt a lot, mama? Can I help?”

“It’s ok. Just… Just be a good girl and do what daddy says, ok?” Korra forced the words out through grit teeth but Nilak refused to move away and started to nervously rub her mother’s belly.

“Be good, don’t hurt mama.” The child admonished towards the Avatar’s belly, attempting to lecture the unborn babies inside.

“They aren’t doing it on purpose, sweetheart.” The masked man pet the girl’s hair and instructed her to sit in front of him and watch the snow that was starting to fall around them while he encouraged Korra to breathe and stay calm.

Mother and daughter obeyed but Nilak was obviously too distressed to stay quiet and kept asking what the babies were doing and when they were going to come. Noatak was patient and answered all her questions to the best of his ability while he checked the horizon- they could already see homes dotted around in the white icy landscape of the tundra and the towers of the capital loomed ahead like tiny needles.

“How… How much longer?” Korra asked with a pinched expression, curling in on herself. It wasn’t nearly as painful as she had expected and she was used to pain but she was pretty sure she was going to start screaming a string of profanities soon and she didn’t want to do it in front of her daughter.

“If we keep up this pace? Around half an hour I think.” Noatak replied as calmly as possible. He looked at her and although the mask shielded him, she could see the concern in his pale eyes. “How are you doing so far?”

“I’ve had worse.” She retorted through grit teeth in an attempt to reassure him. Truthfully the pain was just an annoying thrum on her lower back until a contraction came every so often like a stab to her lower abdomen with a rusty blade but even that lasted only a couple of minutes at most, the problem was that the interval between those stabs was shortening at an alarming rate.

“Ok, once we’re there it shouldn’t be long before we reach the palace. Everything will be alright.” He was trying to convince himself and Nilak more than her.

The Avatar nodded and tried to lean back and just breathe out the pain while Nilak once again shot all sorts of awkward questions at her father, apparently the girl was determined to understand the mechanics of childbirth, most likely because she wanted to know exactly what was happening and how she could help- Nilak had always been like that ever since she started to talk but as sweet as it was most days, right then it was seriously distracting and a little irritating.

Time dragged on and the snow over them became harsher as the wind picked up, threatening to turn the snowfall into a violent blizzard very fast but Naga wasn’t affected by the weather, she seemed to sense the urgency in the air and kept running without letting the wind and snow slow her down, the polar bear dog could probably have moved even faster but that would have meant a bumpy ride and that was the last thing they needed.

“We’re almost there, just another few minutes.” Noatak announced, now focused on guiding Naga in the right direction towards the royal home.

“Mama? Are you cold?” Nilak asked softly, holding up her travel blanket that she wanted to take off her scrawny shoulders and drape on the woman from the moment she saw Korra tremble but it wasn’t the temperature that was making the Avatar shake so she tried to refuse.

“Well, I…” Korra paused her reply and groaned in discomfort as a liquid stain started to appear on her slacks, spreading through the cloth and dripping slightly. “Shit.”

Nilak pouted disapprovingly at her mother’s potty-mouth and tugged on her father’s sleeve, pointing at the stain on the Avatar’s clothes, she clearly thought it was something else.

“Your water just broke.” There was a note of panic in Noatak’s voice when the girl caught his attention.

“Thank you for that brilliant assessment, Captain Obvious!” Korra snapped angrily at him because her mood was souring very quickly- the annoying throb of pain, the constant dread and the fear that they might have a repeat of Nilak’s birth were all things that stressed her and it became annoying very fast but just then the sleigh jolted as they started moving up the streets towards the palace.

There were people everywhere but they were all rushing and scuttling away to hide indoors before the blizzard caught them out in the open. Despite the pain and dread, Korra slouched in her seat and Noatak pulled his hood more securely around his mask, the last thing they needed was for people to start recognizing the Avatar and making a fuss about it when they were in such a hurry.

They were stopped at the palace gates because Noatak looked as suspicious as always but he finally revealed his masked face and announced the Avatar’s arrival, begging them to stop delaying and let them get inside and once they were he hoisted Korra out of the sleigh and carried her out, ordering the closest person to go get a healer immediately.

Tonraq and Senna weren’t around because the visitors had arrived early but a room was provided at once and in less than five minutes, Noatak was depositing the Avatar in bed and fretting over her though Korra seemed more concerned about Nilak and Naga at that exact moment which was unnecessary because the child had stuck to them like glue and Naga was always well taken care of in the South Pole.

Korra was starting to swear again so Noatak asked Nilak to sit outside by the door and warn them when her grandparents arrived, the girl obeyed albeit reluctantly and as soon as the door closed behind her the Avatar was shouting in pain and frustration.

“Damn it! Oh fuck…!” She took a shaky breath and tried to sit upright. “Fuck, fuck, FUCK!” The last scream punctuated a rather sharp jab that left her breathless and unfortunately it was at that exact moment that Senna walked through the door.

“Korra! What sort of language… Wait, what’s…?” The woman started to ask in confusion but saw her daughter hunched over her abdomen with her hair slipping from its tails and perspiration dewing on her brow and everything made sense. “You’ve called a healer, right?” Senna shot the question at Noatak who was frozen in place next to the bed in obvious anxiety.

“Yes.” He replied shakily but with hard won calm. “Her water broke a few minutes ago when we were entering town.”

“Alright, my grandbabies are coming.” Senna took a breath and although she looked overexcited and hyperactive all of the sudden, she moved closer to her daughter. “Let’s get you ready.”

Korra didn’t argue, she was too busy keeping her cool to make any remarks as her mother stripped her and slipped a loose tunic over her before propping her hips over a bunch of pillows and covering her in a warm fuzzy blanket. They were just about done when the Avatar started screaming angry profanities again in complaint towards another contraction.

Noatak started to inch towards the door, he need to breathe before he started running around like a lost little boy, he needed a few quiet moments to calm down before he started panicking and showing weakness; he couldn’t show weakness at that moment, not when Korra needed him. He also wanted to check on Nilak out of habit and worry.

“Don’t you dare walk out that door, you son-of-a-bitch!” Korra shouted just as his hand reached for the knob.

“I was only going to check for news on the healer.” He defended nervously.

“I don’t care! You sit your ass right next to me this instant before I…” She hissed as another contraction hit, they were so close now that she could no longer time the intervals between them properly. “Fuck!”

“You alright?” He asked with concern as he promptly and nervously obeyed and sat next to her again.

“I’m in motherfucking labor! What do you think?!” She shouted in his face, totally losing her composure.

“I meant-…” Noatak began but she cut him off.

“I know what you meant!” Korra snapped, swallowing large gulps of air as she forcefully grabbed his hand for comfort. “I want Katara.”

“Honey, she’s too far. She’ll never make it in time.” Senna replied softly and kindly, she also neglected to mention that the blizzard was picking up and making any travel impossible so getting the old master would prove considerably hard.

“I want Katara! Or Kya!” The Avatar repeated in a demanding shout. It wasn’t just her mood or selfishness, Korra was actually scared something strange might happen so she wanted the best and most trustworthy healer to be there.

“I’ll call for them but don’t try to wait, let the babies come.” Senna instructed and then kissed her daughter’s forehead before slipping out of the room to send the message to the elderly Katara and to check on Nilak.

As soon as the older woman was out of the room Korra was screaming and pulling Noatak to her by the collar of his clothes with a lip-curling snarl and sparks on her breath.

“I’m going to fucking kill you for this!” She threatened in considerable pain, any other person would have cowered in fear.

“No, you’re not.” He dismissed as calmly as he could. He knew she was just venting her pain, well, at least he _hoped_ that was the case and that she wouldn’t really hurt him but with Korra one could never be too sure.

“Yes, I am! I hate you!” She growled but the sound ended in a whimper.

“No, you don’t. And if you kill me you’ll have to change all those diapers by yourself.” He pointed out with a touch of edgy humor.

“Shit!” She frowned at the realization that he was right.

“Literally.” The masked man chuckled.

“Stop trying to be funny!” She shouted enraged and tried to curl up on herself. “How the hell did I let you talk me into this?!”

“It was your idea!” He objected at once. “You were the one desperate to give Nilak a sibling at all costs.”

“You should have talked me out of it, useless jerk!”

“Fine, fine. Yell at me later, right now focus on…” His words were cut off by a rather loud string of profanities spilling out from her mouth.

“As coarse as ever I see.” A new male voice spoke from the door. It was Desna, he still looked the same as always to her only taller now that he was in his twenties, actually he was now taller than her and his sister wasn’t that far behind either which always made Korra feel small and awkward next to them and that annoyed her because she used to like being the tall one next to her cousins.

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Korra shouted in both surprise and frustration.

“Why would we not be present in a most auspicious day for our bloodline, cousin?” A new voice joined, one whose cold bored tone could almost be mistaken with sarcasm.

“We’re in the bloody South Pole!” The Avatar snapped back.

“Precisely.” Eska deadpanned.

“Just a portal away from home.” Desna added.

“How did you even know…?” Korra began.

“To be perfectly honest we came to visit uncle on official business, we just happen to have heard of the situation from aunt Senna.” The male twin clarified.

“Mind if we watch?” Eska enquired, already waltzing in and making herself at home. “The birth of twins is relevant to our interests.”

“Yes, I mind!” The Avatar gestured angrily at the door. “Get the fuck out! I’m not a circus attraction!”

“Perhaps our cousin feels self-conscious about her current state?” Desna glanced at his sister blankly. “I understand that some women dislike showing their inelegant side in such situations, though considering this is Avatar Korra I believe someone like her would simply dislike showing moments of weakness?”

“There is no need to be insecure, we don’t think highly enough of her to care about any spectacle she might put on.” Eska replied carelessly.

“I’m right here, you little jerks!” Korra resented that they spoke as if she couldn’t hear them.

“If you’d be so kind to wait outside with everyone else, we’d appreciate it.” Noatak finally stepped in, he was under the impression that Korra’s cousins were trying to distract her from the pain despite their bored demeanor but she was getting a bit too upset and he’d rather avoid seeing her stress levels escalate.

“And here I thought you needed a healer.” Eska commented absently, pointing at herself at the same time that Desna pointed at himself as well.

“Since when are you damn healers?” Korra grumbled, gripping Noatak’s hand suddenly as a spike of pain caused her to groan and break into a sweat. “You’re a fucking two-sided well-oiled war machine.”

Eska simply stared in silence but after the Avatar managed to catch her breath the female twin tilted her head as if examining her at a distance and then deigned them with an answer, at least for her part of the matter. “I’m a female, a waterbender and a Northern Water Triber.”

It did make sense, in terms of bending Eska and Desna were as far from traditional as humanly possible as far as the North Pole was concerned but Eska was indeed a waterbending chieftain of the North so it was only expected that she had been trained as a healer and if Eska had done something then it was only natural that Desna had followed the same path and learned the same skills, add to that they were part of the handful of people that Korra considered the best waterbenders alive it just made sense that they would be the most qualified to help.

“Whatever! I don’t care, just go aw-…” Korra didn’t finish because she had to grit her teeth against another stab of pain, this one actually tore the breath right out of her and Noatak could hear the crack of his fingers under the force of her grip but didn’t dare let go. The contractions were starting to last longer than the intervals between them.

Eska completely ignored the words and approached the bed, flipping up the blanket unceremoniously and forcing the Avatar’s legs apart for an educated look at the situation. She didn’t seem impressed but she also didn’t appear to find anything bad enough that was worth commenting on.

“How do you even live with this?” Desna asked Noatak in a bored monotone as he watched Korra complain and let out yet another litany of profanities that would have made a sailor blush.

“…With patience.” Noatak replied, trying to sound more relaxed than he actually felt.

“Noatak!” Korra shouted, pulling him closer again and shaking him angrily. “Do something! It feels like I’m getting fucking mauled by a polar bear from inside out!”

“…Don’t exaggerate.” The masked man pleaded anxiously although his hand was already over the curve of her belly to ascertain that everything was alright with his sensing, luckily nothing unusual seemed to be happening but the situation was making him sweat behind the mask almost as much as she was.

“I thought after being bloodbent on multiple occasions, facing certain death and having your soul forcefully ripped out of your body, having a child would be trifle for the great Avatar.” Eska commented a little scornfully but bent some water from her water-skin and froze it into chips that she guided into her cousin’s mouth.

“Shut up! What would you know? You’ve never had and never will have a kid because you’re too much of a scary bitch for anyone to be brave enough to sleep with you!” Korra ranted out in a single breath but she did have to admit to herself that chewing on the ice chips did help soothe her a little and slake her thirst, her throat was pretty parched from all the shouting after all.

“I do not understand the relevance of your retort.” The other woman wasn’t offended, just vaguely curious and strangely flattered for some reason.

“I believe she is trying to imply that you cannot comprehend her pain by using a demeaning reference to your assumed lack of sexual experience.” Desna clarified.

“I see. Well, cousin, such a topic is unrelated to this situation but if you must know I do have suitable experience, I simply have not found the adequate mate to sire offspring with.” Eska replied with a slight shadow of a smirk, once again Noatak was under the impression that this whole conversation was a ruse to distract the Avatar from the agony that felt like her inwards attempting to turn inside out.

“HA! I…” Korra hissed and swallowed large gulps of air as another wave of pain passed but the banter was indeed distracting her. “…I can’t even begin imagine who’d be crazy enough to sleep with a morose monster queen like you that has her twin on her heels twenty-four hours a day!”

“You’d be surprised, cousin.” Desna was the one to reply, usually he would be fiercely protective of his sister and offended by any insult towards her but at that moment he appeared vaguely amused. “I believe your friend Bolin could tell you a story or two in that department.”

“How would you know?” Korra snapped at the male twin and then grimaced. “Wait, don’t answer. Knowing how you two are, you probably even share sex partners.”

“What an amusing assumption on your part.” Eska did titter this time and her turtleduck laughter was as disconcerting as ever.

“Aren’t you supposed to get angry?! For fucks sake, somebody kick the soulless twins out of here!” The Avatar’s remark and obvious frustration actually answered the reason why the twins were not taking offense in the least- they all knew this wasn’t really Korra talking, it was the pain that tore down all her verbal filters and replaced them with a prickly need to be belligerent and fight tooth and nail to make everyone as miserable as she felt.

“And here I was enjoying this bonding moment.” Eska made no move to actually leave despite her not-so-sarcastic words.

“Yes, despite being kin we always lacked such a basic privilege throughout our infancy.” Desna stated with nostalgic look on his usually dreary face.

“Perhaps we should, as the colloquialism puts it, make up for lost time?” The female twin suggested.

“Why would you even… I killed your dad! Why do you insist on talking to me?!” Korra’s shouting tone was aggressive and angry and meant to push them away but in reality she was simply confused by them.

“…Eska, am I correct in assuming that our cousin is under the misconception that we still dwell on the matter of that man’s demise?” Desna enquired towards his sister, once again they spoke as if nobody else was there.

“Yes, she seems to fear some sort of retaliation.” The other retorted a little uninterested.

“I don’t fear anything! Not from you!” The Avatar shouted in outrage but it wasn’t the anger raising her voice, it was the fact that she was now stuck in a state of repetitive contractions with no interval and the jagged pain was making it hard to breathe and talk without yelling.

“I believe she simply doesn’t understand why you’d want to relate to her now.” Noatak explained while he combed Korra’s hair away from her perspired face with his fingers.

“Sister, would this story be appropriate for such a situation?” Desna asked distantly and this time he was the one to feed Korra some ice chips that she crushed viciously between her teeth.

“Later, Desna. At the moment it seems our next cousin is about ready to make its debut into the world.” Eska announced, sitting comfortably at the foot of the bed to assist the delivery.

“No… Not you…” Korra let out the strangled complaint. She wanted another healer, it didn’t even have to be Katara, anyone would have done except for Eska but a minute later the thought of refusing just went flying out of her head as she pulled Noatak to her again, now clinging to his arm in bruising grip as the pain escalated to new levels accompanied by the most innerving stretching sensation.

“Korra, breathe.” Noatak reminded her that she was holding her breath but did not move away. “Deep breaths, in through the nose and out through…”

“SHOVE YOUR FUCKING BREATHING UP YOUR ASS!” The Avatar bellowed and shook him aggressively, nearly tearing his clothes. “THIS ALL YOUR FAULT! I HATE YOU! WHY DID I LET YOU DO THIS TO ME?!”

“Cousin, please focus on the task at hand.” Eska rolled her eyes and smacked the Avatar’s knee for attention. “I shouldn’t need to say this but you need to push whenever a new contraction comes.”

“SHUT UP, DEMON BITCH FROM THE ICE PLANES!” Korra snapped back, shaking Noatak again but screaming at her cousin; nonetheless she did heed the advice and pushed with each wave of pain even though her body didn’t really let her do otherwise anyway.

“My, my, her insults get more intriguing with each passing minute.” Desna remarked.

“GO SUCK ON A GREASEBERRY BRAMBLE, SQUINTY EYED BASTARD!” The Avatar shot at the male twin with equal rage before she tossed her head back and just shouted nothing in particular with her back arching as she pushed with all her might.

“Breathe.” Noatak murmured close to her and caressed her abdomen both for comfort and to make sure nothing was going wrong. “Breathe, it will all be over soon. You’ll be ok, I promise.”

“I hate you! Spirits, I fucking hate you right now!” Korra tried to shout but the words came out in desperate whimpers, she was panting heavily and on the verge of tears, clinging tighter to him than ever. “Help me… Don’t let go…”

“I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere.” The masked man assured her and wrapped an arm around her shoulders for support. “No matter how much you shoo me away.”

She screamed again, roared actually, her hair was sticking to her perspired face and flickers of flame were sparking from her breath, even the walls themselves seemed to tremble slightly for a second.

“Head is out. Just one more long push.” Eska instructed bluntly, there was a glow of water on her hands and she appeared to be using water-healing to try and make things easier.

“You can do this, just a little more.” Noatak encouraged but Korra was panting and shaking her head in despair.

“I… I can’t! It hurts!” She whined, practically burning his hand as hers heated up with uncontrolled firebending. He never even flinched though, not wanting to distract her.

“Yes, you can. You are the Avatar and you’ve survived worse.” He traced her thigh slowly and gently, caressing the tattoo there, the reminder of her strength. “You’ve conquered much greater pain, I know you can do this.”

Korra took a deep shaky breath and then nodded mutely and unwilling, gritting her teeth while her face twisted with visceral pain and sweat dripped down her skin and stained her tunic. She rode the next wave of agony with a muffled roar, pushing and tensing so much that the room shook from wayward bending again.

At last the shrieking cries of an infant pierced the air and the Avatar sagged, panting rapidly and closing her eyes for a moment to try to recover her bearings. Noatak murmured that it was over and he was proud of her as he rubbed her shoulders quietly but his burned hand stung and his nerves were jittery, he also kept trying to sneak a peek at the baby that Eska seemed to be tending to with water-healing and simple waterbending alike- never would Noatak have imagined that someday he’d be so glad to have a bender tend to his loved ones, it still often gave him mixed feelings to see casual unnecessary bending, then again he hadn’t expected to fall in love with the Avatar either.

“The infant is male.” Eska stated dully and handed the baby to her brother who wrapped the child in warm grey cloth. “Quite healthy as well.”

Desna moved over to them and handed the shrieking baby unceremoniously to Noatak since Korra was still shaky and catching her breath, he then stepped back and watched them with vague interest while Eska appeared to merely wait for the next round.

Noatak accepted the boy, albeit nervously and with clammy trembling hands, and looked at his firstborn son that he held securely in his arms.

This baby was completely different from what he remembered Nilak being- he was bigger, plump and rosy with plenty of hair and dark skin. It took a minute but as he rocked and murmured the child slowly stopped wailing and calmed down just enough to allow a more careful examination, the boy was Korra’s spitting image down the last detail or at least so it seemed for now, only the eyes were impossible to determine since they were still firmly shut against the light.

“Take that thing off.” Korra croaked out the sulky demand, gesturing at Noatak’s face and accepting more ice chips from one of the twins, sucking on them tiredly as she looked up at Noatak. “How… How is he?”

“He’s just like you, therefore he is perfect.” The former equalist announced as he slipped off the mask he had forgotten he was wearing to reveal a wobbly smile, he refused to show it but he was on the verge of tears and had to clear his throat quickly to hide emotion in his voice as he glanced back down at the little boy.

“Show me.” She raised her hands making greedy grabby motions to reach the baby and ignoring the dull pain still throbbing in her lower body.

Noatak chuckled and placed the child in her lap, uncovering the cloth that so they could examine every inch of the infant and make sure everything was as it should be. Korra appeared to be fascinated with the boy’s little toes and fingers and traced his tiny nose with a tired smile.

“Worth the effort.” The Avatar chuckled and swaddled the child carefully.

“I must say I agree with your companion. This infant certainly does bear a striking resemblance to you.” Desna commented casually, glancing at the boy. “Do you have a name yet?”

“Actually…” Korra trailed off and snarled, handing the child back to his father before she started to instinctively curl into herself as much as she could. “Shit, it’s starting again.”

“Yes, it is.” Eska agreed with a small amount of interest, she appeared to find Korra’s suffering and rage mildly amusing in this setting. “Considering the lack of an expelled placenta and the shortness of this interval I believe it’s safe to announce that your twins will be identical.”

“Unlike us.” Desna added automatically and inexpressively even though neither Noatak nor Korra had ever seen two people more identical than Eska and Desna, if it were not for their genders and the recent minor changes in bone structure in the last few years nobody would ever be able to tell them apart.

Korra cringed at the unnecessary details and at the half-sore and half-soggy sensation she had below the waist but she nodded and chose to forfeit a reply so she could focus on breathing and preparing herself for a second round of torture, it helped that Noatak had let Desna take the baby while he returned to rubbing her shoulders in an attempt to kneed away some of the strain growing in her body all over again.

«Please let this one come faster.» She thought with rising panic. «Please let it be normal too.»

“You’re forgetting to breathe again.” Noatak admonished softly in her ear, gently pulling her hair away from her face and pinning it back.

“Shut up, I know that!” Korra barked with renewed anger, forcing herself to suck in a breath as another stab of pain lacerated her body from the inside out.

“I’m just trying to help.” He defended and offered some ice chips himself just to appease her. “Do you need anything?”

“I need you to stop mothering me!” She spat but accepted the ice and chewed on it indignantly, she was more irritated by his nervous concern than by any actual action. “It’s irritating, you sound like…” She trailed off as she remembered Nilak, who often got overbearing enough in her worry to talk non-stop and grind her mother’s gears.

“Korra? Are you alright?” Noatak asked when she froze mid-sentence.

“Nilak. Where’s Nilak? Why hasn’t anyone else come yet?” She asked in sudden dread, panicking for no reason other than her shaky nerves.

“They are all waiting outside, cousin.” Desna explained. “You were so busy screaming that you completely disregarded the matter and never let us explain that we took responsibility for helping you, we are quite confident in our skills and we were the closest competent healers after all so aunt Senna entrusted us with the task.”

“Yes, too many people in a birthing room is always a mess.” Eska added sullenly. “In fact, he shouldn’t be in here either.” She gestured at Noatak.

“He stays!” Korra snapped at once, clinging to the former equalist and pulling him close with such sudden force that he stumbled clumsily and fell onto the bed with her.

“I wasn’t suggesting otherwise.” The female twin appeared unaffected. “Merely commenting on the unorthodox nature of the situation.”

“Korra, calm down.” Noatak pried her hand from his arm and held it gently. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“You better not because I will murder you if you so much as set a foot out that door!” The Avatar threatened with a snarl and her eyes closed when her body started to mechanically push with the jagged stab of agony whether she liked it or not. At least she was getting her wish- this birth was moving at a much faster rate than the previous one.

“Yes, yes, we’ve been through this already.” He smiled softly and caressed her hair with the hand that wasn’t clutched in hers and that then rested on her belly, still making sure everything was alright. “If you kill me you’ll be up to your elbows in diapers and baby spittle with no one to help you.”

Korra made a sound that could have been sarcastic laughter but wobbled down into pained sobs, she was starting to lack the energy to hurtle insults and just remembering to breathe was sapping away her strength, not to mention that the contractions were now coming in a permanent loop that merely gave her seconds of interval between them, seconds that were precious to catch her breath because the rest of the time she was pushing and grunting so hard without sucking in enough air to the point that black spots starting dancing in her eyesight.

“Don’t rush it.” Eska bossed in her usual monotone.

“DON’T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, BITCH!” The Avatar snapped and screamed breathlessly.

Eska was right though- the kid was coming faster but, impatient as she was, she was trying to rush it anyway because she could feel her energy sapping away and she was afraid she would run out of steam halfway. The mere thought of how tired she felt made her panic and if she had been breathing shallowly before then now she was outright gasping and unable to get any air amidst the fear and excruciating ache.

“Korra.” Noatak tried to grab her attention because he could feel her terror as well as her heartbeat slowing rather than speeding in response to it, all because she was starting to black out from lack of oxygen. “Korra! Breathe, damn it.” He ordered a bit too harshly but it got through to her.

She wanted to pant in short rapid spurts but he forced her to take slower deep breaths and to stop trying to rush the push, the Avatar obeyed grudgingly until the dark clouds on her vision cleared up and she noticed the glow of water-healing in Eska’s hands again.

She wanted to yell at them all and make them understand how awful she felt, she wanted to attack them and vent all that torture and rage- Desna for just standing watching with that irritating blank expression, Noatak for getting her pregnant in the first place and now looking so anxious when she needed him to be a rock, and Eska for just because she was the crazy Spirits-damned Eska and got on Korra’s nerves for every reason. And yet even though she had all the insults lined up in her head she didn’t have enough strength to think properly and articulate the words and ended up just screaming for the sake of screaming with her tense body arching and lurching forward with each push.

“Last stretch. One more push, Korra.” Noatak said in her ear, she was aware that Eska was speaking too but her own pained cries were drowning out any words that were spoken from more than a foot away.

“FUCK YOU!” She snarled out. “FUCK… I think I’m dying…” She gasped out, trying to gather just enough strength for that final shove as tears streamed down her face though for once she didn’t care that she was crying.

“No, you’re not.” The former equalist corrected strictly, he wiped away the tears and pat her cheek when she started to sag again and nearly faint again. “I know you’re tired but it’s almost over, just a little more and then you can rest all you want.”

“That’s…easy…for you…to say…” She forced the words out through grit teeth, unconsciously fighting the instinct to push. “You’re not…the one forcing…two humans out…of your body…”

“No, I’m not and I respect you immensely for having the strength and courage to do this.” He assured with urgency and raw sincerity in every word. “But I swear you’ll be alright, just hang on a little longer and once this is over we’ll have two beautiful children and I’ll do anything you want.”

“…Anything?” She hissed out the word dangerously, already gulping down a huge swallow of air and blinking away more tears as she accepted the incentive.

“Anything whatsoever.” Noatak promised.

Korra nodded, because she didn’t have time to answer- she didn’t even think about it and just exerted all her remained energy in the last long grueling push, ignoring the way sparks danced around her skin and Noatak’s fingers cracked under her grip once more. She held her breath again but only stopped when the high-pitched wails of the second baby rang through the air and her body gave up on her completely and slumped down onto the bed; there was still pain, there was still a nagging pinch on her lower abdomen as her body attempted to expel whatever afterbirth remained but after all that agony it felt like nothing more than minor discomfort and all her muscles relaxed suddenly so that she felt boneless and nearly paralyzed with exhaustion.

“As expected, you have another son.” Eska confirmed as she finished cleaning and check up on the shrieking infant before she turned to water-heal the Avatar while Desna wrapped the baby and handed it over to Noatak.

They had been right, the second baby was exactly like his brother in every way, like two carbon copies of one another, the only difference Noatak could find was that the second one seemed smaller but only by a very tiny margin that was easy to overlook, he was also louder.

Nonetheless he couldn’t stop staring at the child because the little male miniature version of Korra was simply too stunning and perfect in every way and made him want to hug the child to his chest and never let go and yet he was overwhelmed by the simple fact that these children were _his_, they were his _sons_, the children he had never even dreamed of having but that completed him and filled him with glee and pride like no other as well as the terrified dread of failing them in some way... And he was pretty sure Korra felt the exact same way.

“Noatak?” Korra called out tiredly and he remembered that she hadn’t seen their second son yet.

He carried the child to her and set it on her lap before helping her prop herself up with pillows because she was too exhausted to sit on her own. To him she looked beautiful, even flushed and panting, even perspired and with tangled hair sticking out in odd angles, even shaky and weak and having spewed all sorts of obscenities and insults, the twenty-five year old Avatar looked perfect and glowing in his eyes.

The second boy was still wailing but Korra didn’t seem to mind and traced every corner of him with complete fascination while Noatak picked up the now quiet first boy and brought him over as well so they could look at them together.

“They really are identical.” Korra murmured hoarsely, sucking on more ice chips one of her cousins supplied. “How will we ever tell them apart?”

“And beautiful.” Noatak added before he answered her question. “We will manage somehow.”

“Do I know how to cook ‘em or what?” She Avatar bragged, petting both babies with pride.

“They are indeed satisfactory to carry our family heritage.” Eska commented approvingly.

“You’ve done well, cousin.” Desna complimented and Korra was pretty sure it was the first time she ever got a compliment from either cousin.

“Er… Thanks?” She was so surprised that she didn’t know whether to feel touched or irked. She chose the former. “And thank you for helping.”

“Yes, you have our gratitude.” Noatak stated as well.

“I still don’t get why you’re being so nice to me.” Korra muttered. “It’s just because I had twins like you are, isn’t it?”

“I believe it’s time for that story?” Desna looked at his sister after a brief pause.

“An abbreviated form perhaps.” Eska concurred with a curt nod.

“Cousin, as children we were never allowed to interact with you because your parents feared our father would use any relationship we struck up to his advantage, they feared father would attempt to reach you through us. We were also isolated from other children since not many were allowed around the royal twins and our father raised us strictly and with an iron fist, our only moments of pleasant and totally free interaction with people of the same age were our rare letters to you and the vague hellos at festivals.” Desna explained in a relaxed monotone. Korra was sure he had never spoken so much in one go before.

“In short we may not be the most socially perceptive or extroverted people but we do appreciate you, otherwise we would never even acknowledge you as kin.” Eska added as if it were stupidly obvious.

“And now that our father is gone and we are free to do as we please we would certainly enjoy the chance to bond with what family we have left, particularly the only one in our generation.” Desna stated with a pointed stare at the Avatar.

“You.” Eska explained unnecessarily.

“You always were pretty different in your letters… A lot less formal and definitely less annoying.” Korra mused, being so tired and exhilarated was tearing down her defenses. She had always wondered which was the most honest side of the twins- the spoken one or the written one. “So… You want to be my friends?”

“Family.” Eska corrected.

“We already are family.” The Avatar rolled her eyes.

“No, we are related by blood. That and actual acceptance within a _family_ appear to be very different things.” Desna replied.

“Or so we are told by uncle Tonraq.” Eska completed for her brother.

“I guess if you can still like me after what I did to your dad then I can forgive you for trying to kill me that one time… And for being so annoying… And creepy…” Korra trailed off awkwardly, too tired to be stubborn and too grateful after these two helped her in such a delicate situation to actually argue.

“Make no mistake- we do not plan on changing for your convenience, we merely want the chance to interact with you and yours and in turn we will overlook your own inadequacies.” Eska retorted haughtily but a lot less coldly.

“I guess that’s family… Gotta get along when we can, flaws and all.” The Avatar shrugged, still focused on her sons while immersed in the conversation. She didn’t even feel insulted at being told she had ‘_inadequacies’_.

“I’d say that sums the situation.” Desna agreed.

“The children have quieted, shall we give the others the news?” Eska changed the subject, pointing at the door.

“Yeah, I guess.” Korra nodded.

“Do they have names yet?” The female twin enquired, hoping to announce the boys by their proper names.

“Actually we never managed to reach a consensus on the matter.” Noatak picked up the explanation where Korra had left off earlier. Truth be told, there had been a few rowdy fights over the name picking this time, everyone seemed to have an opinion and nobody seemed to agree with one another- Korra and Noatak had actually had a shouting match because a friendly discussion about the names spiraled rather stupidly out of control.

“Any suggestions?” The Avatar asked, hoping she wouldn’t regret giving her cousins the opening… Well, maybe this was the olive branch they need to make peace for good.

Eska and Desna delayed announcing the birth for a moment and approached the bed to examine the newborns intently, they were silent for a long time as they stared at the squirming babies and then exchanged a look between themselves.

“Kalle.” Eska named, pointing at the first boy since she was a firstborn twin herself.

“Korei.” Desna suggested without a shadow of a doubt, pointing at the second baby.

“Huh.” The Avatar made a surprised sound and tested the names for a moment, rolling them on her tongue. “Kalle… Means ‘strong man’, right? And Korei… Not sure what it means but it sounds kinda like my name. I actually like these.”

“Korei means ‘trickster’ or ‘fox Spirit’, referring to the seekers of knowledge.” Desna explained briefly.

“I do like the sound of those names as well, they are much better than our previous options.” Noatak offered his input, perhaps the matter could be settled without yet another argument and since it was an outside suggestion there was no need for any side to fight for the privilege of naming the boys.

“Shall we go with those?” Korra looked up at her lover with a tired smile, she was too exhausted to think too deeply about this.

“We promised Nilak she could help chose.” He reminded her softly.

“Alright, let’s see what she thinks of these names then.” She nodded and turned to her cousins. “Could you call her?”

Eska and Desna nodded and once again headed for the door, they stepped outside quietly and as blank as always but before they could speak a loud and frantic familiar voice was addressing them.

“Eska, Desna! You’ve been in there forever and the screaming stopped long ago. What the hell is going on?!” Tonraq appeared to be half-panicked and had been pacing the hallway for some time now.

“Fear not, uncle. You have two healthy grandsons.” Desna announced.

“I do?” Tonraq’s tone changed into dumbfounded excitement at once but when Senna cleared her throat he corrected himself- “I mean, _we_ do?”

“Everything went well?” Senna asked hopefully.

“There was a complicated moment at some point but there is nothing negative to remark on. It was a successful birth.” Eska replied vaguely while Desna spotted Nilak sitting on the floor just outside the door and playing nervously with something in her hands.

“Little cub, your parents are calling for you.” The male twin crouched down to speak to the child and Nilak perked up at once and scrambled to her feet, making a dash for the room before anyone could stop her.

“Mama! Daddy!” The little girl tried to fling herself onto the bed but Noatak caught her in time to stop the move and picked her up as if she were no heavier than a snowflake.

“Careful, darling.” He admonished the child softly. “Mama is still sore, no roughhousing.”

“Daddy, is mama ok now? She looks sick. Are you sick, mama?” Nilak’s attention ping-ponged between her parents, demanding answers before she caught a glimpse of the children on her mother’s lap. “Are those the babies?”

“Mama is just tired. I promise I just need to rest.” Korra answered the first question with a drowsy smile.

“And yes, those are your baby brothers.” Noatak added in reply to the other query. He set her down on the edge of the bed so she could see the boys.

“Can I hold them?” The seven year old begged expectantly.

“Not yet, sweetheart, they are too small. But you can pet them.” The scarred man exemplified by petting her long braided hair tenderly.

Nilak pouted but she did carefully pet the little chubby cheeks of the boys with a curious touch. “They look the same.”

“They are identical twins, they are supposed to look the same.” Her father explained lightly.

“Will they be like cousin Eska and cousin Desna? Will they dress and act the same too?” Nilak looked intensely curious and nodded at the Avatar’s cousins that were still at the door giving Senna and Tonraq a summary of the delivery in order to stall them for a while so Nilak could bond with her siblings.

“We don’t know, darling. That’s up to them, they might even grow up to act completely different from one another.” Noatak stated with a smile.

“Or not.” Korra chuckled but placed a hand on her daughter’s shoulder. “Nilak, we need your help.”

“Yes, mama?” The girl blinked her huge droopy lilac eyes with abject curiosity.

“Eska and Desna chose some nice names for the babies but we want to know if you like them.” The Avatar pointed at the boys for emphasis.

“What names?” Nilak appeared to snap into a cute sort of business mode at once, she took the matter very seriously.

“Kalle and Korei.”

“Um…” Nilak pursed her lips with a hand on her chin as she thought, her brows scrunched into a little V that was quite like Korra’s focused expression. “Ummmm….. Yes, I like. Can I call them Kal and Rei?”

“If you want.” Korra nodded.

“Hello, Kal and Rei. I’m Nilak and I’m your big sister.” The girl stood on the bed to look down at the two baby boys, shielding them from the light in the room, she spoke cheerfully and tickled the palms of their little hands because she was just as fascinated by the tiny fingers as Korra was.

“I guess they have names.” The Avatar grinned at Noatak and he smiled back with a short nod of agreement.

The former equalist felt like the smile had been stapled on his face and he could not get it off because it had become, without a doubt, the happiest day of his life and nothing was able to shadow that joy.

“I made this for them.” Nilak jiggled two braided suede bracelets, one was indigo and the other was mottled cobalt. That had been how she had spent her time while sitting outside the door with her grandparents.

“Oh, look.” Korra chuckled at Noatak and nodded at the little gifts. “A way to tell them apart.”

The bracelets were too big so the Avatar helped the seven year old make anklets out of them instead- the indigo one for Kalle’s left ankle and the cobalt one for Korei’s right. Nilak looked immensely proud of her work and Korra kissed the girl’s cheek lovingly with a tender thank you.

“Look, mama, they have eyes like daddy.” The girl announced suddenly, by shielding the boys from the light of the chandelier she had encouraged them to open their eyes a little and although they had the same chatoyant eye-shape as Korra, they did indeed have very pale ice blue irises though flecked by miniscule dots of amber around the pupil.

“So they do have a little Noatak in them!” Korra smirked teasingly. “Oh well, it will have to do.”

“Is that a complaint I hear?” Noatak sat close to her on the bed, wrapping an arm around her waist. He had never liked his eyes because they were too much like his father’s but if he could associate them to his sons instead then he was pretty sure he could learn to love the trait very quickly.

“Maybe. What are you gonna do about it?” She stuck out her tongue playfully and leaned into the embrace.

“Always cheeky, my little Avatar.” Noatak took the cue and, as had become their unique habit, he captured her tongue between his lips and kissed her lovingly.

“Ew… Look, Kal, Rei, mama and daddy do that a lot so don’t be afraid of the oogies.” Nilak whispered at the boys that were just looking around clueless and starting to fuss.

Korra had to break the kiss because she burst out laughing at the child’s icky tone and couldn’t remain serious, as for Noatak her leaned to Nilak and kissed her nose, calling her jealous and watching her pout again.

“Where are my grandbabies? Let me see my boys!” Tonraq finally managed to burst into the room when Senna had all the information she wanted and the twins had no way to stall further, or the interest to do so anyway.

“Right here, Chief.” Korra called with a smile and repositioned the chubby little boys in her lap. “Meet Kalle and Korei.”

“Korra, they look just like you!” Senna pointed out happily with a nostalgic smile.

“Which is why they are so adorable.” Tonraq’s first reaction was to gape and then to grin with pride and hug his daughter in congratulations.

“Of course.” The Avatar replied smugly, hugging back before she let the man pick one of the babies up while her mother took the other.

“Getting a little conceited, aren’t you, my love?” Noatak chuckled and leaned close to nuzzle her neck affectionately while Nilak sat on his lap. He also whispered in his lover’s ear. “Thank you… They are perfect.”

“I earned it.” Korra replied cockily but smiled at his murmured remark and looked at him with drowsy eyes while everyone else swooned over the babies. “Speaking of which, about that promise to do anything I say…”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: I’m aware that in real life most babies are born with blue eyes and only acquire the real permanent hue of their irises after a few months but that does not seem to be the case in the Avatar Universe so I am disregarding this fun fact.  
Also, Anningan and Malina are still Noatak’s apprentices at this point and are delighted by the news of another set of twins to relate to.)


	12. Bully

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Here’s a one-shot that hits pretty close to home for me and probably for a lot of people.   
Includes childhood bullying, drama, angst, family fluff and possible spoilers.  
7,528k words. Enjoy.)

Something was wrong, she was sure of it but Korra couldn’t possibly figure out what it was.

Pema, Tani, Jinora, Skoochy, Mako and even Bolin, all of them being Nilak’s babysitters more often than not, had already pointed out that something was different but Korra couldn’t understand what was going on, each of them claimed that the little five year old was acting distracted and melancholic in the past couple of weeks and the day before when Skoochy took her to the playground he returned claiming that Nilak had played alone all the time she was there and Korra didn’t really believe that until she saw it.

She brought her daughter to the park and the playground herself that afternoon after a particularly boring meeting with the Council that now operated as a court under the president and not as a ruling power, they were still desperately trying to fill her in after her long absence and the Earth Kingdom matter.

Nilak always loved the playground, she wasn’t exactly extroverted but as a paradox she was naturally easygoing and made friends with most children effortlessly so she got excited every time she had a chance to leave the island and play with the city kids in the large sandy playground near the city park which was precisely why Korra found it odd that the girl now seemed happier to go out with her than she seemed about playing with the other children.

Skoochy had been right, the whole hour Korra sat back on the grass with Naga, Nilak played alone and not just that- she left her trusted polar dog plushy with her mother ‘for safe keeping’. The girl chose a spot under the slides and built sandcastles the whole time, bending klutzy globs of water from the drinking fountain to wet the sand; she purposely shied away from a couple of other kids and even refused a turn at the swings which were her favorite thing in the whole playground. The Avatar didn’t like that, for all she knew Nilak had always been like her when it came to making friends, blunt and magnetic, and now suddenly she was acting shy and nervous and Korra couldn’t figure out why or when the change had happened.

A little boy approached the girl, he was older with olive skin and incredibly short hazel hair. He talked but his body language was mocking, he poked at her but Nilak ignored him completely, the boy didn’t like it and pulled her hair when another child, a bob-haired pale girl, joined in. Korra got up and tried to see what was going on but it was hard with people walking by and getting in the way and she didn’t want to come closer because unlike her overprotective lover she believed Nilak had to learn to fend for herself; however, she did notice that the other parents, especially the women that she was sure were the mothers of the children speaking to Nilak, were on the other end of the playground, sitting together and probably gossiping like that had been when she arrived and passed them by, the ladies never even glanced at the kids.

Someone got in her way and when the person moved Korra saw Nilak lying on the sand before quickly getting up with a frown but she was still silent… And then the boy was holding something that Korra was sure was Nilak’s bracelet above his head and he squashed her sandcastles under his feet, the other kids joined and laughed but Nilak’s face went from scowling angrily to falling and becoming on the verge of tears.

Korra knew the girl wouldn’t cry, it wasn’t easy to make Nilak cry because she was too much like her father but the Avatar herself felt her blood boil and she decided it was the right moment to intervene, unfortunately she didn’t have time to make good on that decision.

Nilak said something softly with a wobbly pout on her lips and tried to reach the bracelet the other held, she caught it but as a result the boy suddenly shoved her yet she held her ground and refused to react to the bait, she turned her back and tried to stride over to Naga but the boy grabbed her by her hair and pulled her back along with the other girl and Nilak had to shake them off and then… A crowd of passing tourists got in the way and Korra had to go around them to try and get to her daughter but by the time she actually stepped into the playground the kids were huddled in a circle and she heard Nilak shout; when she managed to get past all the little excitable little balls of energy she found her daughter struggling on the floor while the other boy pinned her down and smacked her repeatedly, clutching her beaded bracelet in his hand.

Nilak wasn’t hitting back, she was trying to avoid physical contact at all costs and just tried to unsuccessfully dodge with a snarl on her face, attempting to push the other back and regain her bracelet that had been a gift from the airbenders and that she wore since before she could remember. Korra was about to pull them apart when the boy rose a hand for a punch and Nilak finally struck as fast as a viper-bat, hitting his torso just below his arm so that it fell limp and chi-blocked which allowed her to use her scrawny little legs to kick him off and turn the tables pushing him down face first on the sand and pinning his working arm behind his back thus regaining her wristlet. Korra was actually impressed and that froze her for a second, she had no idea that her daughter could do that but assumed that watching Noatak practice chi-blocking had taught the five year old much.

A woman shrieked and broke the Avatar’s daze, she swooped down to gather Nilak in her arms and pulled away just as the boy’s mother started running over, the kid himself was sitting up with a sulky angry expression and about to throw a tantrum but as soon as he saw his mother he started to whine in an obviously fake show of fear.

“Sowwy…” Nilak still wasn’t crying but she curled to Korra and clung to her for dear life, probably afraid to get into trouble for fighting, and unable to pronounce any R’s in her distress.

“It’s ok, baby. Not your fault.” The Avatar tried to soothe her and pet her hair, noticing that it was saturated with sand and a chunk of it appeared to have been literally pulled out by the roots, her dress was also ripped up in the back.

“The hell it isn’t!” The boy’s mother, a primed middle-aged lady with tight hazel curls, an emerald green qipao and greyish brown eyes, picked up her son and shouted back at Korra in outrage. “I just about had enough of that little pest.”

“Excuse me?” The Avatar shot back with an immense strain on her self-control.

“Nothing but trouble, that one! Every day she starts something, acting like she’s too good to play with the others and getting into fights all the time.” The woman snarled and Korra thought she looked distinctly like an overgrown puppy trying to growl. “No wonder she comes with a different person each day, I doubt anyone even wants to be around such a brat for long.” The lady continued in an angry tirade. “Or perhaps she just has a reckless mother that can’t take care of her own kid and gets others to do it for her.”

“Listen, lady, I’m just about done with your shit.” Korra spat back, restraining from getting physical herself only because she was holding Nilak- and yet the worst part of it all was that the accusation hurt, not because it was slander but because Korra felt a coarse truth in it. “Your little punk started it, my kid was just playing peacefully by herself and he started picking on her!” She pointed at the boy that immediately started to sob in the most exaggerated way into his mother’s chest. “Then again you wouldn’t know that, would you? Since you were too busy gossiping by your greengrocer’s butt and fixing your mane to so much as watch your own son.”

“How dare you?!” The woman shouted in total outrage and pointed at the boy she held, particularly at the limp arm! “Look at what that freakish little pest did to him! Poor boy is crying! Look at his arm, it’s probably broken!”

“It’s just chi-blocked, dumbass. He’ll go back to normal in a few minutes.” Korra glanced at boy who just sobbed louder. “And anyone can see those are crocodeer tears.”

“As if a child could chi-block! And you call my son a liar?” The lady hissed back angrily.

“That and a bully.” The Avatar retorted loudly. “He’s probably the reason my daughter started playing alone in the first place.”

“How would you know, you’re never even here with her!” The woman examined Korra from head to toe, looking down on her and sneering rather disdainfully. “Figures.”

“Figures? What’s that supposed to mean?” She challenged the other to reply.

“What were you? Fourteen? Fifteen?” The lady made a disgusted face, wrinkling her nose at the tomboyish twenty-three year old Avatar. “No wonder the brat has such bad manners when the mother is probably some bratty teenage slut.”

“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU JUST CALL ME?!” Korra shouted in absolute fury, with sparks dancing in her breath. It was one thing to accuse of her of not being around because that had some degree of truth of it, it was another thing entirely to question her honor or poke into her privacy.

“Mama…” Nilak whimpered from the loud yelling right next to her ears and the overly tight grip she was held in though she was more distressed about being the cause of the argument than about the screaming itself.

“Sorry, baby.” The Avatar apologized softly, hugging her daughter and taking a breath before she growled a retort at the arrogant woman. “For your Spirits-damned information I was eighteen and my life is none of your damn business, neither is it relevant to the fact that your son is a bully and a liar and I demand an apology.”

“I’m not apologizing to a rude girl like you! Especially with that mouth on you!” The lady seemed to be appalled by the other’s cursing and her son blew raspberries at the Avatar.

“I don’t care about me, I want your kid to apologize for hurting my daughter! He stole her bracelet, he hit her, he ripped her hair out, for crying out loud! I want him to stay away from her permanently!” Korra demanded in pure blind fury, she had never purposely hit a child before but for this boy she wanted to open an exception, or at least scare him shitless.

“Yes, well, I want your kid out of this playground permanently.” The woman scoffed.

“And who the hell are you to say that?!” Korra was near yelling again. “It’s public property, we can be here whenever we want!”

“Listen here, little slut, I…” The lady was suddenly cut off by another woman with long raven hair in a plait who placed her hand on the other’s slim shoulders with an air of distress.

“Manda, how about we end this here?” The black haired lady had an almost childishly sweet voice but it was low and nervous. “You’re causing a scene and I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with.”

“Yeah, I don’t think she knows either.” Korra retorted, still angry and fighting the urge to break something.

“I don’t care who you are, that child is a menace and her presence disturbs the peace. We want her out and if you keep bringing her around…” Manda started the threat but let it hang and that wouldn’t do, if one wanted to threaten the Avatar then in Korra’s opinion that person sure as hell better be ready to follow through.

“What? What will you do?” Korra challenged darkly. “Say it. I dare you.”

The sand was trembling and rumbling under the Avatar’s feet, an aggressive gust of wind was gusting past her right onto the onlookers, flipping clothes, blowing sand and whipping hairs, flickers of flame danced over her hands and burned out before they could affect the little girl in Korra’s arms.

“What in the world…?” The belligerent woman was suddenly stunned and stumbled back on the quivering sand.

“Manda, she’s the Avatar.” The raven head piped in a little frightened and two other women started to whisper and tried to discourage the one named Manda as well.

“Ava…” The woman didn’t even finish the word, she was too stunned and the boy had stopped pretending and was staring at the Avatar in awe.

“Yeah, I’m the Avatar, bitch.” Korra snapped rudely. “Now say it- what will you do if we keep showing up and using public property?”

“You’re the Avatar? So what? Am I supposed to bow now? You think just because you have a little statue means you’re so important to us all?” Manda composed herself quickly and once again sneered but then something appeared to click in her mind and she glared. “Wait, that explains it! That’s Amon’s brat.”

“So what?” Korra’s angry loud tone simmered down into something overly soft and dangerous, she could practically feel the heat about to burst out of her- the woman was really walking on thin ice now just by bringing up that name.

“So that explains why none of the children like her and I think I speak for everyone when I say nobody wants their kids playing with the bloodbender’s freakish brood.” Manda put her son on the floor and stood protectively in front of him with her arms crossed.

“I swear if I wasn’t holding my daughter I’d show you that you’re afraid of the wrong parent here.” The Avatar practically growled and the ground was rumbling audibly now, a fire hydrant was also starting to leak under pressure along with the drinking fountain as the water was attracted to Korra. She didn’t remember a time when she was more furious and lacking in self-control, at least not in years and not without fear dampening the rage.

“What do you want to do Avatar Korra? Take my bending? I don’t have any. Use your influence to kick us out? I’d love to see you try. Beat me up? Go ahead, show everyone the brutes you and your brat are.” The woman dared and a couple of others took her side but many more were just backing away quickly and refusing to take sides or get involved, some were on Korra’s side too but were too scared of her wrath to stick around.

Korra wanted to, she really did want to break the woman’s perfect sharp nose in and she believed she would be perfectly justified in doing so but Nilak was still clinging to her and starting to hiccup in her arms so rather than get violent she raised her fingers to her lips and whistled. Nilak flinched at the loud, sharp high-pitched noise and in two seconds flat Naga had leaped onto the sand and was barking and growling ferociously enough to make the women scream and squeal before they grabbed their children and ran away shrieking in terror, Manda herself fell flat on her rear screaming and grabbed her son again before stumbling away and ripping her fancy emerald dress to the hip in the process.

“Let’s go, Naga.” The Avatar turned on her heels and walked away fuming.

She stopped on the edge of the playground where all the kids left their shoes so they could play barefoot on the sand but couldn’t find Nilak’s until Naga sniffed them out buried in the sand and completely ripped apart.

“Hey, Nini, do you know which shoes belong to that boy and the other girl that pulled you?” Korra asked softly, now frowning from the further evidence of bullying.

The little girl peeked shyly out of her chest and pointed at a pair of brown moccasins and some pretty pink sandals that Korra picked up unceremoniously while everyone was still running from the polar bear dog.

“You sure it’s these?” The Avatar asked and Nilak nodded. “Alright, don’t ever do what I’m about to, ok?” Korra warned calmly, not wanting to be a bad example but doing a poor job at it.

She tossed the shoes over the highest tree she could see, using airbending to make sure they’d be stuck up there for a long while, it wasn’t nearly gratifying enough as revenge and it was petty and childish but it made her feel a little better before she walked off into the park with her daughter and her furry friend as they passed Korra’s likeness, she ignored the statue and kept going until they were well away from everybody, she then sat on the grass by the creek that crossed the park and let the child settle in her lap.

“Nilak? Look at mama, sweetie.” Korra pleaded but the girl still had her face buried in the Avatar’s chest. “Please, Nini.”

“I want daddy.” The girl demanded in a shaky voice, refusing to show her face. Of course she’d ask for Noatak, Nilak always wanted him.

“I know you do and we’ll go get him in a bit, just listen to me for a minute, ok?” The Avatar pet her daughter’s hair, carefully brushing the knotted mass of it with her fingers. “Look, I even have Mingan here for you if you let me look at you. Do you want Mingan?” She held up the polar dog plushy that the child loved so much and it seemed to have some effect.

It took some coaching but the girl finally looked at her mother who realized she had been wrong- Nilak was indeed crying, she was just doing so silently with her droopy periwinkle eyes looking red-rimmed and overflowing with tears, the left side of her cheek was also starting to bruise and there were scratches across it plus she had a lump on her head and her lower lip was cracked and bleeding lightly right down the middle, her palms and knees were also scrapped. The sight nearly brought Korra to tears herself.

“Let’s fix this, shall we?” The Avatar let the girl hug her toy, took a steadying breath and bent water from the creek and onto her hands until it started glowing pale blue.

Nilak didn’t move as her mother water-healed but she didn’t look at Korra either and kept sniffling and crying through the whole process of having the soothing liquid caress her wounds and help them knit back together and fade away.

“Nini…” Korra hesitated, those tears were squeezing her heart. “Have the kids here been doing this a lot?”

Nilak didn’t answer but her downcast eyes filled with even more tears and Korra was having hard time focusing on healing when she just wanted to hold the girl, she held back though just to ensure that the lump in her head was gone and the scratches faded before she moved on to the lip and the scrapes on her hands.

“We don’t have to go back to that playground. We’ll find a better one, ok?” Korra tried to sound optimistic as she healed the scrapes but the girl just hiccupped.

“They hate me… They say I’m c-eepy, they t-y to make me mad and squish my castles and hide my shoes and they say…” The five year old trailed off, she was still skipping all the R’s even though lately she had started saying words better and only regressed when frightened or nervous.

“What? What do they say, Nilak?” She encouraged the girl to continue while she tried to heal the minimal bruising.

“They say bad things about daddy… And sometimes about you…” Nilak murmured sadly and in tears as if that hurt her more than then anything else and the guilt suddenly stabbed Korra like a sharp frozen blade slipping into her chest and piercing through the heart.

“I see… When did this start?” She asked calmly, trying to hide her distress and anger but the girl just shrugged. “Is that why you don’t play with anyone anymore?” Korra tried to get answers, any answers, but this time Nilak surprised her by shaking her head. “Then what is it?”

“I don’t like.” The child muttered between hiccups.

“Don’t like what? Playing?” The Avatar was confused.

“The bugs.” Nilak replied quizzically and in obvious distressed. “I’m scahed, I don’t like it.”

“What bugs?” Korra wondered, now very lost, but the girl just shrugged again and started to sob and cover her face with her hands. “Nini, what’s wrong?”

“I’m s-sowwy… I’m sowwy, m-mama…” Nilak hiccupped the words, crying all over the place and making further healing impossible, luckily all that was left was a tiny bit of bruising on her cheek and little scrapes on her knees.

“What for?” The Avatar was more jumbled than ever.

“You got mad… You shouted and said bad wo-ds and the lady said mean things to you…” The child sobbed out, clearly upset for having caused a scene but actually being more articulate than before. “I’m sowwy… I didn’t want to fight, I didn’t want to make you mad…”

“Nilak, don’t cry, it’s not your fault. I’m sorry I got so angry but I swear it’s not your fault, sweetie. They’re all stupid poopy-heads and it’s their fault, ok?” Korra tried frantically to cheer the girl up but she was too distressed because Nilak’s words had made the knife in her heart twist painfully in her chest and scrape the edges of her ribs. “Come on, baby, don’t cry, mama can’t take it when you cry.”

“I want daddy.” The child demanded, crying more than ever.

“Ok, ok, let’s go get daddy from school.” Korra accepted just to try and calm the girl. “But you have to stop crying.”

“I want daddy!” Was Nilak’s only reply, shrieked out in a near tantrum.

“Alright, alright!” The Avatar surrendered at once and signaled the polar bear dog that padded around nearby. “Naga.”

The beast approached and licked the little girl’s face for comfort before it knelt and the Avatar climbed onto the saddle with Nilak huddled in front of her, the slow lick had calmed the child down to sniffles and silent tears in a way only Naga could do and then the polar bear dog started trotting off, guided by Korra to follow backstreets since the Avatar had already learned her lesson about disturbing traffic with her ride.

They arrived at Liu’s academy too early, Noatak was only there three days a week at the moment and should be out early but they still had a good half an hour to wait. The former revolutionist was mostly at the academy to train chi-blockers that would be employed by the police though he had also taken up a waterbending class for children, the class itself wasn’t just about waterbending, it was also about using the techniques of waterbending and applying them to non-bender combat and exercise, the Council hadn’t been too happy about it at first, fearing that Amon would twist the future generations with his teachings, but eventually they had to admit that he was doing good work and keep potential waterbenders away from gang recruitment.

There was a small tea and candy shop near the academy, the owners were a non-bender couple that had been encouraged by Liu to open the store there because they all thought it would make a profit with students of all ages and they were right, it also helped that the place was actually really good at what it served. That’s where Korra decided they would stay until Noatak was off- she settled in a table in the back by the window with some kelp tea and bought one of the huge blueberry lollipops that Nilak liked so much, hoping that it would cheer the kid up a little.

It took a while for Nilak’s sniffles to finally taper off but she did stop crying, unfortunately she wasn’t as enthusiastic about the candy as she usually was and merely sucked on it half-heartedly and slowly until the academy’s clock tower rang the three o’clock bell and the younger classes of children and pre-teens started spilling out of the door. The girl perked up at once, looking out the window until she surrendered her half-consumed lollipop to her mother and ran out the door, still barefoot and rushing towards one of the men walking past the gate.

Korra left a few yuans on the table, popped the sweet in her own mouth since the kid wasn’t going to finish it and followed closely. She spotted Noatak at once- the mask was easy to find in a crowd but he still wore it outside the island because he much rather be noticed by the imposing and eye-catching mask than by stirring pity with the scars. She saw him crouch down to catch the child in a tight hug and she reached them to find Nilak clinging so tightly to her father that he could do nothing but pick her up.

“Hello, dear.” Korra said a little dryly and more than a little sarcastically, sucking the tongue-painting lollipop to keep herself busy. “How was your day?”

“Better than yours, apparently.” Noatak replied, picking up on her moody tone, he then noticed Nilak’s bare feet, ripped clothing and matted sand-filled hair. “What exactly happened here? Nilak, where are your shoes?”

The child didn’t reply and just started to hiccup to his shoulder while Korra made mute throat cutting gestures to silence him, Noatak took the hint and just kissed the top of his daughter’s head before the three of them and Naga walked down towards the bay where their little boat was waiting to take them home and Korra ended up having to steer it while crunching the candy between her teeth because Nilak just refused to let go of him and he was too concerned by the bruise on her cheek to even try to convince her to let go.

By the time they arrived home the child felt significantly safer and more composed, enough that she was actually hungry so Korra gave her a quick bath and left her eating cherry-bean pancakes and apple juice in the kitchen while Noatak pulled her aside in the living area.

“What happened?” He asked in a no-nonsense sort of way that prompted her to sigh and sit on the couch. His mask had long since come off but he still looked stoic and unreadable.

“Nilak has been getting bullied.” Korra replied tiredly.

“Explain.” Noatak demanded at once.

“People have been telling me that she’s been acting odd and playing alone and today at the playground some kids started picking on her…” The Avatar went on the relay the whole episode as clearly as she could recall it, merely grazing over some particular parts of the argument that followed and totally leaving out her childish payback with the shoes.

She then sighed again and slumped forward with her head in her hands, miserably explaining the whole conversation with their daughter afterwards and neglecting to mention how horrible she felt about the whole thing and how she was starting to doubt her own capabilities for motherhood but all her doubts were still pretty obvious in her demeanor and mood.

“…” Noatak couldn’t find the right words to reply so instead he placed an arm around her shoulders and pulled to him gently, he could understand how she felt- they always knew Nilak would face some challenges growing up just because they were who they were but they still felt guilty about it all, especially him… The words ‘bloodbender’s freakish brood’ got etched into his mind as if someone had carved them into the inside of his skull with a dagger.

“Is it horrible that I’m actually kind of proud of her?” Korra looked at him, looking exhausted, angry, miserable and proud all at once. “You should have seen her- she actually held back and she didn’t let them see her cry and she chi-blocked for crying out loud! Even I can’t chi-block! You would have been proud too, she didn’t even try to bend or punch the kids back.”

“That is impressive for a five year old but I’m always proud of Nilak.” Noatak nodded, still holding her and glancing at Nilak who was drinking her juice in little sips and babbling to her plushy, oblivious of their conversation.

“I know, me too, it’s just…” The Avatar searched for the right words. “She’s a whole lot more enduring than I could ever be. I would have hurt someone badly.”

“I know.” 

“You know what hurt the most? That she felt bad that I got angry, she’d rather take a punch than see us getting into any fight because of her.” Korra’s face actually twisted with the sheer pain the thought caused her.

“Being the center of a fight is probably stressing for her. Considering the life we have, can you really blame her?” He enquired softly and knew right away what he was talking about.

“No…” She shook her head and looked towards the kitchen where the child was chewing down the last bits of food. “What do you think she meant about bugs?”

“I don’t know, I have to ask her.” Noatak stated a bit reluctantly.

“Noatak, no. She just calmed down, let’s not drag it up, please.” The Avatar begged, seriously concerned.

“Korra, we have to get to the bottom of this, we have to understand why she suddenly went for social to anti-social, especially if the bullying is unrelated.” He countered, remaining blank and neutral to hide his own worry.

“I don’t think I can take it if she starts crying again.” Korra slumped in the couch, looking completely wretched.

“I’ll talk to her, I’ll handle this.” He assured her.

“But…” She didn’t have time to protest because Nilak’s voice interrupted.

“Mama, I’m done.” The little girl called out from the kitchen, clumsily holding up her empty plate and showing it off.

“Leave it to me.” Noatak whispered at the Avatar and stood, walking over to the child.

Korra didn’t know what to do, she didn’t think she could take hearing her daughter cry again so she whistled softly to catch Naga’s attention and walked outside with the polar bear dog on her heels; she wasn’t sure what she was going to do, probably just race around the beach with the beast, but anything was fine to keep her distracted.

As for Noatak, he joined the five year old and took her dishes to the sink, then he picked her up and carried her until they were sitting on the rug in the living-room and Nilak was on his lap.

“Nilak…” He said her name softly and waited until she looked at him before he spoke. “Mama told me what happened at the playground.”

The child became crestfallen and anxious almost immediately, she fidgeted like a tiny caged bird. “I’m sowwy…”

“Don’t be scared, I’m not angry.” Noatak began to pet her hair softly, it was still loose after the bath and he started to braid it just to calm the girl. “I know it wasn’t your fault, sweetheart.”

“Hm…” Nilak made a neutral sound of doubt and said nothing.

“I hear you chi-blocked the boy that hit you but didn’t hit back. I’m proud of you for that, baby.” He praised her, knowing it would calm her sense of guilt but also trying to perceive what she was thinking.

“I don’t want to be mean… Not like him… I t-ied not to fight but he squished my castle and I got mad and called him things and he stole my bracelet and we stahted fighting…” Nilak babbled nervously, jumping all the R’s as usual and showing off said accessory on her wrist while she clung to her polar dog toy.

“Why didn’t you bend?” He was curious, he couldn’t deny that.

“He can’t bend stuff.” She shrugged as if it were that simple.

“So wouldn’t be fair if you did, right?” Noatak guessed tentatively.

“Uh uh.” Nilak nodded but stopped quickly when she remembered he was braiding her hair, Korra always snapped at her if she moved her head during the task.

“Good girl.” He complimented in total honesty, he was impressed and glad his lessons had sunk in. “Where did you learn to chi-block like that?” He was also curious about this, seeing as he was sure Nilak hadn’t picked up from watching him, it just wasn’t that easy, if it had been then Korra would have learned already too.

“Un-kou Liu.” The little girl replied innocently.

“Really? I’m sure he’ll be proud of you too.” Noatak smiled, he’d have to thank his old friend later but now it was time for more important things. “Sweetie, can ask you a question?”

“Hn.” Nilak made a little sound of agreement that she often did without opening her mouth.

“Why don’t you want to play with the other children? Why do you hide from them now?” He went straight to the point, there was no use stalling.

“…I don’t like the bugs.” The child muttered moodily.

“What bugs, Nilak?” Noatak watched her shrug without an answer so he changed tactics. “What are they like?”

“I don’t know… I feel them like…” She moved the tips of her fingers up her arms and body in rapid frantic little motions. “And the dhums are spooky…”

“Drums? What are the drums like?” He questioned calmly and with curiosity as he pinned the last braid in place and shoved away the dark rage that bubbled in him at the sight of the spot where hair was thinner from behind ripped out.

Nilak surprised him by standing up and putting her hands to his temples, she began to tap them with a focused expression.

“Like… Chau’s dhum… thump-thump, thump-thump, thump-thump.” She double-tapped her fingers to the sides of his head between pauses but then the rhythm changed. “Kiki’s is thump-thump-thump-thump-thump-thump.” Nilak began a rapid steady tap and it shift to an inconsistent and loud triple tap. “Chie’s is thud-thud-thud, thud-thud-thud, thud-thud-thud.”

“Drums.” Noatak nodded in understanding. “When the other children are near you?”

“And the bugs.” She added, running her fingers ticklishly up his arms to highlight her words.

“When they touch you?” He guessed.

“Hn.” She made that agreeing sound again but then a thoughtful expression crossed her innocent face. “Grown-ups too. Un-Koh Liu’s is funny, it’s thump-thump, thump, thump-thump, thump.” She tapped her fingers in an erratic way that skipped a beat every so often.

“I know, sweetheart.” Noatak nodded, he was aware of what this was- heartbeats, Nilak was feeling heartbeats and the fact that she could feel Liu’s arrhythmic heart that he guiltily believed was likely his fault after that treacherous day at the arena, just confirmed the theory. “The children’s drums are louder? Or is it because there’s too many and the bugs get too creepy?”

“Too many… Too fast… And when I’m mad-…” Nilak didn’t know how to finish and got frustrated, furrowing her brow at the lack of words.

“It feels good and bad at the same time, like you can hurt them and crush the bugs but you don’t want that and you’re not sure you can stop it if they touch you.” He finished for her, hoping her young mind would understand.

“Hn.” She nodded in agreement and Noatak repressed a sigh.

“You’re a good girl, Nilak. No matter what anyone says, you’re a good girl.” He hugged her to his chest and kissed her temple lightly. “Daddy’s going to teach you to get over the bugs, ok?”

“Really?” The five year old perked up immediately.

“Really.” He nodded with an encouraging smile even though inside the promise was tearing him apart. “Now, why don’t you go play? Mama feels a bit sad, why don’t you draw a picture to cheer her up?”

“Sad? Because me?” Nilak wilted a little.

“No, darling. Not because of you, she’s proud of you.” He bopped her nose and saw her lighten up again before he pat her bottom. “Go on.”

“Ok!”

She ran off to get a sheet of parchment and something new Korra had found and bought for her- before they only had charcoal, chalk and paints that made a mess everywhere but the Avatar had found colorful waxy pencils on a visit to the Fire Nation and Nilak simply adored them and their bright shades, plus they were easy to clean off the floor when she drew all over the place.

The girl lay on her stomach on the rug and started to draw just as they heard Korra return to Naga’s annex so Noatak got up and quietly stepped into the pen; he didn’t close the door, he left it a crack open to be sure he could keep an eye on Nilak so she wouldn’t overhear them.

“Korra.” He called to get the Avatar’s attention; she was brushing Naga’s fur somewhat unnecessarily since she had done the same task the day before.

“How is she?” Korra asked immediately.

“Well, she’s not crying.” Noatak replied to assuage her. “She’s drawing.”

“That’s good.” The Avatar nodded with relief washing over her.

“We need to talk.” He stated just as silence began to fall between them.

“I don’t like that tone.” Korra frowned at his foreboding cold voice. “Is this bad news?”

“Yes.” Noatak didn’t think it was worth sugar-coating.

“…Tell me.” She hesitated but steeled herself for the news.

“Nilak’s bugs… Are bloodbending.” The word came out with certainty but reluctantly.

“That’s not possible.” The Avatar shook her head in simple denial.

“Isn’t it?” He arched a brow at her and spoke cynically.

“She can barely waterbend as it is, she doesn’t have the skill to bloodbend, much less without the full moon.” Korra forgot all about brushing the polar bear dog and crossed her arms under her chest.

“Must I refresh your memory? I think we both know what Nilak can do.” Noatak retorted rather darkly.

“…How do you even hear bugs and think bloodbending?” She shifted the conversation, pretending she hadn’t heard his last comment.

“She’s feeling people’s heartbeats in her head, calls them drums, and the bugs are the sensation of other people’s blood when they touch her. It’s somewhat like having angry fire-ants running under your skin.” He explained as simply as possible but ran a hand through his hair, a sign of obvious stress.

“I suppose you know this from experience?” It was Korra’s turn to raise a brow at him.

“Yes, but I was ten when I first felt it, not five.” The scarred man sounded bitter about the topic and decided to get factual. “She’s not bloodbending but she’s sensing and she already realized she can hurt people if she tries to control that sensation. Children’s heartbeats are quicker and at a playground it gets worse because they are all running and playing and all that adrenaline just makes it so much easier to sense their rushing blood flow, not to mention that such a place means a lot of people gathered together and touching at the same time.”

“It’s not that she doesn’t want to play with other kids, it’s just that she’s scared and uncomfortable. Is that it?” The Avatar surmised, suddenly making sense of the whole thing.

“Yes.”

“How is this even possible? She touches us all the time without a problem.” Korra was still trying to remain skeptical for denial’s sake.

“Korra, she’s always with us, she’s probably so accustomed to our heartbeats that she doesn’t even notice them.” Noatak explained with infinite patience. “She knew yours before she even had one herself, she probably knows it better than you do.”

“Ok, fine, but she touches other people too and she’s ok- she touches the airbenders and Mako, Asami, Bolin, Skoochy, Chintak, Tani, all the others without a problem!”

“Because she’s familiar with them since she was born, Korra. It’s foreign blood flows, stranger’s heartbeats, that really upset her and children’s are probably more intense.”

“So she can’t be around crowds anymore?” The mere idea pained Korra, how was the daughter of the Avatar supposed to be kept away from people?

“Most likely.” He replied grudgingly. “At least until she can learn to tune it out.”

“I thought to learn bloodbending first a person had to master waterbending, she can barely bend a cup of water without making a mess.” Korra countered, clinging to the hope that he might be wrong.

“Yes, well, she should have to master waterbending and then bloodbending in the full moon before she could bloodbend without it and only after that should even start trying to sense and bend with only her mind. And yet she skipped all that the day she was born.” He snapped back at her, starting to lose his cool.

“…How?” She didn’t know what else to say.

“Are you still asking that?” Noatak gave her a stern look. “Considering my bloodline, your bloodline, the things you endured while pregnant- prolonged Avatar State, corrupted Avatar State and suffering bloodbending- and all the power Ummi developed until her destruction I’d say we have a strong enough cocktail of options to explain why Nilak is the way she is.”

“My daughter is not a bloodbender!” She snapped at last and almost shouted.

“Not yet but she will be whether she likes it or not if she doesn’t learn to control it.” He argued back, trying to reign in his voice.

“Then teach her. Make sure all she ever does with that skill is sense, maybe she can do something good with it.” The Avatar demanded in near desperation.

“I know I have to, Korra, and I already told her I would but… I don’t know if I can.” Noatak faltered. How could he teach his daughter a skill that had destroyed his life and his family? And yet how could he not if her wellbeing depended on it?

“Why not?” Korra was getting angry and frustrated but what she hated was that he was being cryptic.

“I didn’t exactly have the best example to learn from, I’m not sure I can do this and not be cruel… I’m not sure I can teach her and not make her cruel and cold herself.” He explained, bearing out his fear like a gaping wound.

“You’re not your father. You’re NOTHING like him and you won’t do to Nilak what he did to you.” She still spoke angrily but now her anger wasn’t directed at him and she was close enough to poke his chest for emphasis. “Even if you did I’m not your mother, I would know and I would stop you.”

“Can you promise me that?” Noatak demanded, as serious as can be.

“I swear on the Avatar Cycle.” Korra stopped herself and backtracked. “No, actually, I can’t swear on that anymore. I swear by the Avatar State instead.”

“This is serious, Korra.”

“So am I.” She was confident and stubborn and because of that he believed her. Her hands then climbed up his chest to his shoulders in a calming caress. “You can teach her, I trust you. Everything will be ok… Won’t it?” She was trying to reassure him but ended up needing some reassurance herself.

“She’s kind and she’s incapable of hurting a spiderfly without remorse... Perhaps she’ll be alright.”

«Or perhaps this will be torture for her.» Noatak mused, forcing himself to see another perspective, a better one, but the dark side was still there, yet he had to take in account that Nilak was not him and might just remain innocent, unfortunately the nagging worry just wouldn’t go away. “I just…”

“Mama!” Nilak’s happy voice shut them up and suddenly the girl was running over waving the piece of parchment in her hands. “Mama, look!”

“Is this for me?” Korra crouched down and accepted the gift with a forced smile that quickly became real when she looked at the colorful doodles.

“Hn!” The girl nodded curtly and proudly.

“It’s so pretty.” The Avatar complimented and pointed at a blue and brow stick figure that was only distinguishable as feminine by the circle breasts and long ponytailed hair. “Is that me?”

“Uh uh.” Nilak confirmed and started pointing at the other figures. “And that’s daddy and that’s Naga and that’s me.”

“And what are we doing?” Korra went along, enjoying the child’s excitement after the depressing day.

“Playing with aunt Asami in her satomobile.” The girl stated with a wide grin.

“And where is aunt Asami and her satomobile?” The Avatar blinked at the picture in confusion.

“On the wall.” Nilak pointed towards the living room. “I ran out of space.” She finally hit an R and her toothy grin almost made Korra forget she’d have to scrub the darn wall later.

“Oh, Nilak…” Korra smiled and shook her head just before she hugged the child playfully tight. “My precious little girl.”

The five year old ended up dragging her parents to see the rest of drawing that was now a colorful mural, her happy-go-lucky attitude relaxed them and in that moment there were no more tears, they were just a happy little loving family in which Nilak was heedless of her parents’ worries and fears, ignorant of how they craved revenge on the bullies that hurt her and naïve about her own terrifying abilities.


	13. Taken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For BarleyGuy for being the most supportive person towards the ficlets and the upcoming sequel.  
This idea actually occurred to my sister and myself during a mall trip on the Christmas of 2012… And since it stuck to my memory up to this day I figured it was worthy enough to be written down.  
Warning: Lots of spoilers not for the plot but for all my “Castaway” amorra babies.  
Trigger Warnings: Kidnapping situation, threats on children, minor violence against children, sexual harassment, gore (not on the children), foul language.  
7,206k words. Enjoy.)

“How dare they?!” The Avatar bellowed in such rage that the air in room rumbled with the sound of her voice and all those present backed away. “How dare anybody do this to my babies?!”

“Korra, please calm down.” Noatak advised with steely coolness.

“Calm down? CALM DOWN?!” Korra shrieked even louder, stomping her foot until furniture shook and even toppled over from her wayward bending as she crushed a note in her flaming hand. “SOME ASSHOLES DARED TO KIDNAPP _MY_ CHILDREN FOR A RANSOM AND YOU TELL ME TO CALM DOWN?!” She shook her fist at him where only ashes of the note now remained.

“Our children, dear. And yes, please tone it down a bit before you destroy the temple.” He retorted bitterly though she wasn’t the one he was bitter at.

“Korra, we’ll save them. I promise you they’ll be fine.” Mako intervened, he was trying to keep a level head and approach the situation calmly but truth be told, if it was his child he would have been just as angry. “You know I mean it, after all it’s not the first time this happens.”

“I already have my best men on the job. Try not to go on a rampage just yet.” Beifong added for good measure, she acted hard as stone but decisive.

“Your children are very resourceful and resilient and you’ll do them no favors by antagonizing their captors.” Tenzin put in as well, attempting to ease the fiery thirty-two year old Avatar that tended to revert to her teenage brashness in such situations.

“STOP TELLING ME WHAT TO DO!” Korra shouted at all of them in outrage. “I’ll find them even if I have to beat down every criminal in this city and I swear when I get my hands on those filthy little maggots I’ll snap their spines and I’ll…”

“Noatak, do something.” Asami tugged the former equalist’s sleeve in distress, he was just standing there in his mask watching the Avatar rage without intervening.

“Such as?” Noatak glanced at the lovely woman with ice cold eyes.

“Calm her down. Tell her that she can’t just go around hitting people for answers and she can’t just kill the kidnappers just like that.” The heiress admonished a little shocked by her friends’ red hot fury.

“Why would I say such a thing?” The masked man tilted his head in mild curiosity.

“What?” Asami was a little confused but now she wasn’t the only one paying attention to him.

“You don’t seem to understand, apparently you are under the impression that I disagree with Korra’s methods and desires.” Noatak’s hands folded behind his back and he stood perfectly straight and dignified.

“You don’t?” Mako raised a brow, voicing Asami’s doubt as well.

“No, I want those parasites exterminated as much as she does and I plan to aid her in the task.” He sounded cool and composed but there was a sharp dangerous undertone to his rusty voice. “After all they must have been aware of that danger when they dared to take _our_ children.”

“But you said…” Asami trailed off, trying to make sense of the man.

“I merely meant that this must be approached without a plan and a cool head, exploding with rage here will do the children no good.” Noatak explained and glanced at his lover. “She needs to save that anger for after we find them.”

“You can’t be serious!” Mako nearly shouted himself. “I know they took your kids but if you go on a kill spree you’ll both end up in jail no matter who you are.”

“Not if there is no evidence. Or bodies.” Korra put in suddenly and completely serious.

“True.” Noatak agreed.

“Chief, are you hearing this?” Mako turned to his boss, totally appalled.

“I have been rendered temporarily deaf from all the screaming, I have not heard a word spoken from all the way over here and hope not to discover what the conversation was about any time soon.” Beifong had her back turned as she spoke to Tenzin on the opposite corner of the room.

“What?!” The firebender was shocked.

“She understands ‘cause she’s a mom too.” Korra retorted with a wave in the policewoman’s direction.

“But Korra…!” Both Mako began to argue only to get interrupted by the Chief’s son himself.

“Aren’t y’all forgetting something reeeeeeally important here?” Skoochy, who had been silent by the door waiting for news from his colleagues, finally spoke up.

“What do you mean?” Asami asked the twenty-seven year old.

“These are the Avatar and Amon’s kids we’re talking about. Do you really think those kidnappers have it easy? Don’t you remember what happened to the last bunch?” Skoochy actually chuckled, he didn’t seem the least bit worried.

“Oh… He has a point.” Tenzin let slip before he could help himself.

“There’s news!” Bolin, looking rumpled and unshaven, suddenly stumbled into the room and fell flat on his face with an old Pabu standing on alert over his head.

“CHIEF!” A metalbender police officer followed the other earthbender and side-stepped his fallen form to deliver the information. “We were just told by the southwest patrol that it appears the kidnappers were spotted driving out of town towards Dao Ma.”

“Let’s go.” Korra announced and left the room in a rush with Noatak on her heels.

“Wait!” Mako, Bolin, Tenzin, Beifong and Asami rushed to follow before the couple did some serious damage.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“You’re doing it wrong.” A young seven year old boy, Kalle, the spitting image of Avatar Korra down to a shorter version of her hairstyle and with the exception of his pale ice chip eyes, spoke up in a bored commanding tone.

“Yeah, totally.” Korei, the first boy’s twin, identical to him the last detail, agreed with disdain.

“That’s not how you hold a baby.” Kalle shot at the gruff bearded man with a nest of black hair that attempted to silence a wailing child in his dusty calloused hands.

“Stupid monkey-snail man.” Korei insulted and shook his head arrogantly.

“Shut up, little imps.” The man hollered at them, causing the baby to cry even louder.

“Just put the brat in the box, Dai.” A second man, one sitting on a rickety wooden crate and sporting long shaggy brown hair and heavily wrinkled muddy eyes ordered with immense annoyance.

The enormous gruff man obeyed and set the infant in a box that he jiggled in an attempt to rock the baby into silence while the two boys that were tied up together to two massive beams in the dirty and dusty decrepit warehouse in the middle of nowhere watched with critical eyes.

“She won’t stop crying if you do that.” Kalle interjected with a bored yawn.

“And your baboon face is ugly, it’s scaring her.” Korei added for good measure with his tongue sticking out.

“I said- SHUT UP!” The gruff man, Dai, stood up and smacked Korei across the left cheek, leaving an angry red handprint that would have reduced any other child to a sniveling mess.

“Rei!” The first twin called for his brother and then snarled at the guy. “Don’t hit my brother, you bug-face!”

“Yeah, what if I get a bruise?! Then we won’t match for a while!” Korei accused angrily with tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.

“Priorities, Rei!” Kalle snapped with a roll of his eyes.

“But it’s true!” The younger twin countered.

“Here’s one to match then.” The irritated Dai smacked Kalle this time, just as hard as he had the other boy except he hit the right cheek.

“Wrong side, moron!” Kalle shouted furiously in reply to the assault, also holding back tears.

“Who’s messing up the priorities now, Kal?” Korei smirked like his mother did but it made his cheek sting so he stopped.

Kalle stuck out his tongue and blew raspberries at his brother but then he glared at the large black haired man and his four watching companions and said with simple cold certainty- “…Our mom is gonna kill you guys.”

“She’s the Avatar, you know?” Korei agreed at once with immense pride. “And she’s like, super strong.”

“And she has a polar bear dog bigger than your truck and Spirit friends that can find you anywhere you hide.” The older twin added for good measure, he was right though- Naga was indeed bigger than the cramped vehicle used to abduct them from the solstice festival and Korra did have connections in both worlds that could help her find the children.

“…Really?” A tall man that had been standing silently by the only door finally spoke up with an edge of worry, he had greying hair and wide lips with a slightly nasal voice. “Dude, you never mentioned Spirits.”

“What makes you think we’re gonna let her close enough to even touch us? Spirits or no Spirits?” The shaggy brown haired man replied with his grumbling voice, he appeared to be the leader.

“Once we have our money, we’ll be long gone before she even finds you.” The black haired behemoth returned scornfully towards the boys. “Besides, we’re not dumb, we didn’t kidnap the Avatar’s kids without making sure to plan against her powers.”

“…Pffft…” Korei tried not to laugh but was unsuccessful and ended up snickering. “Did you hear that, Kal? They made _plans_ to trick mama.”

“You guys are dead meat.” The older twin shook his head, he almost felt sorry for the kidnappers.

“Say that again, you little punk?!” A fourth man, one sitting on the opposite side of the twins spoke up at last; he was an impatient looking person with dark brown hair in a ponytail, bloodshot yellow eyes and flames were sprouting threateningly from his greasy fist. “You think we can’t handle your bitch of a mother? Don’t you worry, we’ll put her in her place even if she does find us.”

“Aww… You’re so wrong it hurts.” Korei sounded condescending, almost as if he found the men’s opinions to be cute rather than worrisome.

“Cocky, aren’t they?” Kalle smirked but, like his twin, the expression hurt his face.

“Well, that just makes them even deader.” Korei tried to shrug but it was impossible in all that roping.

“And why’s that, smartass?” The ponytailed man snapped irately.

“’Cause IF you do manage to keep mom from crushing you and try to hurt her…” Kalle began with a disturbing smile.

“Dad will find you even if you run to Spirit World to hide and he will tear you apart…” Korei continued cheerfully.

“Limb from limb…” The first twin added.

“Slowly…” The younger one continued once more.

“Until you beg him to end it.” Kalle completed.

“…Boss, they have a point.” The tall nervous guard by the door put in a little frightened.

“Shut up!” The shaggy haired man with heavy wrinkles ordered harshly. “If he tries anything he goes back into the can.”

“Are these guys idiots?” Kalle asked his brother with disdain.

“SHUT YOUR TRAPS.” Dai shouted, it was easy to push his buttons and yet he had been the only kidnapper attempting to calm the baby rather than ignore it like the others.

“Idiiiiiiots.” Both boys mocked in unison.

“Boys.” A low raspy female voice spoke the single word with ease and two children were silenced at once. “Behave.”

“Oh look!” The ponytailed abductor spoke with scorn towards the teenage girl tied to a beam opposite to her siblings. “The freaky _thing_ speaks!”

“…” Nilak, whose long hair fell over her face and who was tied on her knees and chi-blocked on top of that, refused to reply to the taunt and merely remained silent as she had so far. She saw no need to attract attention or speak unnecessarily and preferred instead to focus on analyzing the opponents and placing her attention on the baby that still cried and sniffled in the box.

“What did you just call our sister?” Kalle asked in a dangerous growl.

“Her name is Nilak, you fu-…” Korei began to shout but was cut off by the elder sister’s level voice.

“Rei. Language.” She warned coolly.

“I know what her name is, brat.” The ponytailed man sneered. “She’s still a freak.”

“I’m gonna cut your fucking tongue out.” This time Kalle was the one to lose his bearings and curse.

“Kal. Must I repeat myself?” Nilak admonished in the same aloof cold tone.

“But he called you a…” The boy tried to defend himself but she didn’t allow it.

“I heard. Please do not lower yourselves to the level of maggots, that is unbecoming.” The girl stated with simplicity, she was used to being called worse, she didn’t want to see her brothers get angry and uncouth over something so minor.

“What did you just call us?” Both the ponytailed man and his enormous bearded companion moved closer to the thirteen year old girl.

“I don’t believe I was referring to anyone in specific but if the shoe fits…” Nilak trailed off complacently, she was usually heavily sarcastic and mouthy but in danger situations she tended to become frosty and a silent composed observer except this time she couldn’t resist the little bit of derision.

The irritable man with the ponytail slapped her so hard that the back of her head banged into the solid wood pillar she was tied too and she saw stars explode behind her lids, his firebending singed her bangs slightly and left a red superficial burn on her jaw, she managed to avoid worse but he’d never understand how.

“Nini!” Both boys shouted in worry and outrage as Dai lifted the girl by her hair to examine his companion’s handiwork.

“Let go of our sister, you big bullies!” Korei kicked around in ropes, both boys were immensely protective but try as they many they couldn’t move to help.

“Guys, don’t damage the goods.” The shaggy leader bossed the two men. “Let’s not give their parents any more reasons to come after us.”

“Shut up, Chai. The little bitch is just like her freak of a father, she needs to learn her place.” The firebender snapped back rudely with his fist still encapsulated in flame, Nilak surmised he was one of those people still holding a grudge towards Amon and probably despised her because she was so much like her father.

“Pretty hot for a freak if you ask me.” The last of the abductors who had been silent and utterly bored thus far finally joined in and snuck up next to the girl in order to grope her already generous growing bosom, he was a middle-aged bald man with squinty moss colored eyes and a habit of licking his lips every other minute.

“Please be so kind as to remove your paws.” Nilak requested coldly, glancing down at the large spidery hands that squeezed her chest.

“Why you…” The firebender raised his hand to strike again but the bald guy stopped him.

“No, wait. Don’t shut her up.” The sleazy groper licked Nilak’s cheek until she had to resist the urge to gag. “In fact I’d love to make her scream.”

“Flint, don’t start getting any of your funny ideas.” The leader scowled, obviously disturbed by the other’s attitude.

“Ah, come on! I promise I won’t even bruise her!” The bald man pleaded a little sulky, plucking at the edge of her shirt so it slid down her shoulder.

“Yeah and what if the chi blocking wears off? You wanna risk having her bend?” This time it was the bearded man that interjected, he too looked disgusted by his companion’s comments.

“There’s no water here and she’s still tied up.” The guy named Flint countered with confidence. “And she knows that if she tries anything we’d slit the baby’s throat.”

“You wanna risk that?” The leader insisted.

“Tsk. Fine.” The bald man huffed and gave a long suffering sigh before he glanced at the girl, his hand sliding up her thigh. “Such a waste. She might have enjoyed it, you know?”

“I assure you that even if you were not a kidnapper and completely abhorrent, you would still have no chance of making me enjoy anything you have to offer.” Nilak replied with total certainty and this time she spat in his face.

“Arrogant little bitch.” The guy wiped the spittle from his cheek and snarled.

“One day one of these gals is gonna kick you in the nuts and you’ll be one screaming.” The bearded behemoth shook his head with disdain.

“They’ve tried. I have balls of steel, man.” The sleazy bald abductor grinned.

“Good thing a few metalbenders I know are probably on their way now.” Nilak couldn’t keep the sarcasm off her voice.

“Oh, I’d love to teach that sassy mouth of yours a few things.” The guy held her by the jaw, shoving his fingers into her mouth to capture her tongue.

“I’m sure it could teach you a lot more instead.” She retorted a little slurred and bit down hard enough to make him pull his bleeding hand away. “Like how to squeal like a little girl.”

“Hey Kal, what are they talking about? Nini has that smirk.” Korei suddenly asked his brother in face of the slight smirk on his sister’s lips after she spit and the other man’s nonsensical shouting.

“Hell if I know.” The older twin was just as clueless to whole scene and the innuendo within it as his brother, he then chose to get some attention again and annoy the kidnappers. “Hey, I’m thirsty!”

“Me too.” Korei agreed at once.

“Give us water!” Kalle demanded.

“How many times to have to tell these brats to shut up?” Dai roared with irritation.

“WATER! WATER! WATER! WATER!” The twins began to chant loudly and annoyingly.

“Stop it.” The ponytailed man redirected his attention at the two boys as well.

“WATER, WATER, WATER, WATER, WATER, WATER, WATER…” The kids kept yelling in unison until the baby started wailing all over again to add to the ruckus. “WAAAAAAATER!”

“Give them a damn drink.” The leader ordered, rubbing his temples to chase away a headache.

“But what if they bend?” The ponytailed man countered.

“Those two can’t bend, jackass. Everybody knows that.” Chai, the boss, snapped, still rubbing his head. “Can someone please shut up the Spirit-damned baby?!”

“I can but you have to untie me.” Kalle announced sneakily.

“Forget it.” The shaggy haired man shot back.

“And I need to pee.” Korei whined. “Let me go pee! I’m gonna leak!”

“You can forget that too. We’re not untying you for anything.” Chai announced with finality.

“We’ll tell our parents and aunty Beifong you molested us.” Korei threatened spitefully.

“Yeah, you’ll get punished even worse and they’ll chase you even if you get your money and run!” Kalle added for support.

“What the hell…?!” The tall nervous man by the entrance was shocked by the sudden threat.

“Relax. They don’t even know what that word means.” Flint interjected with a dismissing wave of his hand.

“Oh, they know.” Nilak chuckled softly.

Suddenly Kalle started to sniffle and fake tears trailed down his cheeks as he made a sweet and overly pitiful face. “Mama, the bad men took my clothes and touched me in weird places.”

Korei mimicked his brother’s overly childish tone, also crying crocodeer tears and whining. “Daddy, they made Shikou cry and made us sit in our pee all tied up. It hurt so much…”

“Why, you little sneaky motherfuckers!” Dai growled, all of the men realized that if the boys put up such an act they would never be able to escape the wrath of the parents.

“Just untie them to use the bathroom and shut the baby up.” The leader stated in a moment of half panic under a cool façade. “All this noise is giving me a headache.”

“But boss…” The ponytailed and bearded men started to argue.

“You can’t handle two 7 year old non-bender brats with their hands tied?” Chai snapped angrily. “Just do it.”

“Yes, boss…” Both men grumbled and loosened the ropes that kept the boys tied to the pillars but kept the ones around their wrists.

Kalle rushed to the baby at once, he had to juggle a little to get the child out of the box with his hands tied in front of him but he found a way to hold his sister to his chest, she was just a year old and couldn’t even stand on her own properly yet or say more than three or four words in total so he clung to her protectively and rocked her slowly.

“Shh, Shikou. Big brother is here, see?” Kalle whispered soothingly to the baby and glanced at Nilak who was watching him.

“What’s taking you so long?” The gruff bearded man snapped at Korei who was in a corner trying to do his business against the wall.

“Stop looking!” The younger twin bossed a little and also glanced over his shoulder towards the older sister. “I’m shy.”

Two seconds later both boys were breaking into a run across the warehouse, somehow their hands were free and Kalle passed the baby to his brother who climbed up the pillars and creaking boards of the warehouse like a trained lemur until he was balancing on the ceiling beams with Shikou tucked in his shirt that he tied around his torso like a makeshift sling.

“Get them!” The leader of the kidnappers roared.

“Go Rei! Get Shikou away!” Kalle shouted up to his brother.

“What about you and Nini?” The younger twin looked concerned but skillfully dodged a strike of flame that the ponytailed man shot in his direction.

“Come on, Rei.” Kalle gave his brother a condescending expression as he jumped and skipped over the huge black bearded attacker. “It’s us you’re talking about.”

“…Right.” Korei nodded with a chuckle and ran with perfect balance along the main beam heading for an opening in the rickety roof.

Among all the siblings, Korei had always been the one with best equilibrium and that was why Kalle had entrusted Shikou to him, this skill was partially because the younger twin was the only one that wasn’t afraid of heights but also because he had good teachers, specifically a pair of siblings that had taught him about circus acts like the high wire.

“Get down from there!” The firebender hollered at the escaping boy who made faces at him in reply.

“Come here, you brat!” Both the huge Dai and his tall nervous companion were now chasing Kalle all over the warehouse but he avoided them easily and was cheeky enough to slide under their legs and skip over their heads until they knocked into each other and started to get winded from the chasing the slippery child.

The sleazy Flint joined the fray too and tried to climb up an old rusty wall ladder to block Korei’s escape route with a whip wrapped around his wrist and ready to use; the kid secured the baby to his body more carefully with his clothes and hung from the beam before swinging into a different section and running towards another crumbling spot of the old roof, the metal paneling was tricky but rust and nature had already corroded some parts enough to create holes.

The two that chased Kalle took up an electric staff and chains and tried to catch the boy by any means necessary even if that meant beating him into submission but Kalle avoided the weapons as if he could guess where they were going to strike next and used his small scrawny frame to his advantage in order to mislead and dodge the opponents. At some point the tall man managed to get to close and grabbed the boy by his clothes but Kalle snapped his fingers under the guy’s arm and suddenly it let go and fell limply and chi blocked at his side.

The men were getting frustrated, they didn’t know how the boys have gotten loose though the ropes appeared to have been cut somehow and they hadn’t been expecting competent chi blocking from seven year olds, then again they should have guessed that if the Avatar’s children were non-benders that meant their parents would find another way to ensure they knew how to defend themselves.

“Both of you are going to stop running and get back here at once or I’m going to cut your ice princess’s face up right now.” The leader of the hooligans suddenly shouted at the boys and held a knife to Nilak’s face, she didn’t flinch and actually looked bored.

“Nini…” Korei stopped running for a moment and looked towards his sister, Kalle was also getting distracted but still avoiding blows.

“Tell them to obey.” Chai growled at the girl, pressing the blade so it bit into her skin.

“Boys…” Nilak spoke with cold calm. “Exactly how many times were you hit so far?”

“Three for me.” Korei yelled up from his beam.

“Four.” Kalle replied as he spun around the big bearded man.

“I see… Seven blows. You’re getting sloppy.” She admonished softly. “A pity, I don’t quite like odd numbers, they make me restless.”

“The fuck is she babbling about?” The bald man shouted while trying not to miss his footing on the ceiling shafts.

“Tell them to behave NOW!” The leader roared in her face, his rotten bitter breath nearly turned her stomach but she still didn’t move.

“Boys, you know what to do.” Nilak stated with ease.

The twins nodded and Korei kept running until he reached the small hole that could grant passage to the outside while Kalle chi-blocked the tall man’s leg until his knees buckled and he fell to the ground.

“Hey! Don’t you dare!” Flint snapped at Korei and rose his whip as the boy tried to kick open the hole a little more in order to fit through it.

“I swear I’ll cut her!” Chai yelled and repositioned the blade more firmly to the girl’s dark skin, distracting Kalle who was caught by the enormous kidnapper.

“What the…” Suddenly the bearded man’s feet froze to the ground and Kalle snagged loose by ripping his shirt.

“Who’s bending?!” The bald man shouted as his whip was flung from his hand by a shot of water that had come out of nowhere.

“You said the boys couldn’t bend!” The tall anxious abductor accused the boss.

“They aren’t bending. Though their lack of bending seems to have caused you to underestimate their abilities.” Nilak replied quietly.

Kalle suddenly managed to chi-block the tall man entirely so that he landed face first on the dirty floor, unable to move, the boy the used the man’s staff to trip the huge Dai with a jolt of electricity. At the same time another spectacular shot of water hit the ceiling where Korei was kicking and froze so that the boy easily broke open the hole and started to slip out; another blast of water hit the firebender in the face and froze as well so that the man fell and choked until he managed to melt the ice with his bending.

“Is she doing that?!” The huge black bearded man shouted in pain from the ground.

“She’s fucking chi blocked and tied up completely! How can she bend without moving, dumbass?! It’s one of them.” The bald man screamed while trying to catch up to Korei without falling.

“Please let my siblings go before things start getting unpleasant. I’d really hate to have them see any more violence.” Nilak requested politely but stonily.

“That’s it. I’m sick of this!” Chai announced suddenly and yanked the girl up by her hair, she was getting tired of people doing that.

“Boss, what are you doing?!” The largest man stood on shaky legs and momentarily forgot Kalle to stare at the leader.

“_You_ just told _me_ not to damage the goods!” Flint shouted with irritation, he had finally grabbed Korei’s foot as the boy was halfway out the hole but the kid was kicking wildly to get free.

“These brats need a lesson.” Chai stated and the tip of his blade slipped up to the outer corner of Nilak’s periwinkle eye, leaving a scratch in its path. “Don’t worry, I won’t kill you, I’m just gonna take one of those pretty little eyes so you can all see how serious we are.”

“Nini!” Kalle cried out in distress.

“Caught you.” The enormous Dai took advantage of the distraction and caught the older twin in a steely grip.

“Kal!” Korei shouted out, having noticed the situation and the bald attacker also took advantage of the child’s concern to pull him back inside by the ankles.

Amidst all the mess and threats and struggling children Nilak merely sighed, completely overlooking the blade about to slip into her eye socket while she said simply- “Well, I tried to do this peacefully but they never listen.”

“What the fuck?!” The leader shouted as the blade slipped lazily from his paralyzed fingers and his hand froze midair. “My hand won’t move!”

Suddenly the hands of the men holding the twins twitched in the same manner and were immobilized for a few precious seconds that the boys used to slip away and chi-block the two opponents.

“Argh!” The bald man found his knees failing and fell off the beam with an anguished cry that mutated into a shriek of pain when he landed a couple dozen yards below on his legs that broke instantly.

More water appeared out of nowhere, apparently seeping straight from the walls and the ground and it battered the firebender and the leader of the group with blunt force until they were curled on the ground to protect their vitals while Kalle rushed to chi-block them as well and Korei, having noticed that the threat had ceased below, chose to come back down rather than risk his little sister by skidding across the roof and trying to find purchase to get down from the outside.

“WHAT’S HAPPENING?” The firebender screamed in blind panic, rolling away from the boy’s skilled hands but still getting smacked around by globs of liquid.

A tiny portion of water separated from the attack and solidified into an icy blade that sliced cleanly across the ropes that tied Nilak so competently. For a while now she had been focusing on her blood stream and using it to redirect her chi until the effects of the chi-blocking were dim enough that she could stand straight on shaky legs and walk again and that was exactly what she did.

The bald man that had groped her earlier was in the way and she _accidentally_ stepped over his crotch with the full weight of her body inciting a blood-curdling scream that she found immensely rewarding for those moments that it took to get past him and head towards the only two men that could still struggle in any way- the leader and the firebender that could not fight under the water’s ruthless strikes but who moved too much for Kalle to chi block either of them.

“I did warn you, didn’t I?” The girl looked impassively down at the leader and the man’s body froze abruptly just long enough for Kalle to strike down his spine and paralyze him.

“This is even easier than last time.” The older twin laughed loudly and boisterously. “Took a while though.”

“Yes, I quite detest people that don’t do their homework, especially criminals who try to touch my precious siblings.” Nilak stepped on the firebender’s hand as he too was immobilized just long enough to Kalle to chi block him.

“We’re gonna kill you all for this, you little brats.” The leader of the group growled in blind fury. “Mark my words!”

“Empty threats from a fallen foe are simply pathetic, did you not know?” Nilak stated stoically, once again she revealed a side of her that was unusual and only came out in dire situations- the side that spoke formally and eloquently and that remained cold and expressionless.

There was a roar when the enormous bearded abductor got up with some strain, pulling a blade from his boot and running to tackle the girl like a derailing train, Kalle had miscalculated the blocking against a person so large and bulky and the man had recovered too fast and would easily hit Nilak before she time to focus and defend with one of her psychic attacks, luckily Korei flung a piece of a broken wooden crate at his legs and the man stumbled, the boy then hopped onto Dai’s back and slammed down on a particular set of chi points with such force that the attacker blacked out completely and toppled over like a log falling over after the cut.

Shikou was screaming all over again but the boy checked to make sure she was ok in the improvised sling that his clothes provided and once he was sure she was safe he calmed her and hummed a cheerful little tune until the baby stopped crying and snuggled to him. Nilak nodded gratefully at her little brother and kissed the top of his head once he was close enough, Kalle gave his twin a proud thumbs-up.

“How…? HOW?!” The firebender hollered in mingled panic and rage. “How did a bunch of brats defeat us?”

“Oh, you want to know where you miscalculated?” Nilak asked with a curious tilt of her head.

“Tell them, Nini.” Kalle and Korei seemed excited at the prospect of watching his sister put someone in their place.

“You made many technical mistakes but I praise you for getting this far, with our training and experience with abductions it’s quite rare for a kidnapper to even be able to snatch us, much less keep us restrained this long.” The girl praised the men sarcastically- they hadn’t been that good, the only reason they had succeeded thus far was because they grabbed Shikou first and the other siblings had been afraid for her. “However, allow me to elaborate on the biggest flaws of your plan- to begin with you chose to chi block, drugs would have been much more effective on me; you also chose rope over handcuffs, a grave mistake although Kalle and Korei are very adept at lock picking those blindly so either way you would have failed. Secondly you did not hide us well enough, you were too focused on making back-up plans against our mother that you got sloppy with everything else, an abandoned warehouse is very obvious and accessing water from the rusty degraded pipes here is not hard. Thirdly you underestimated us under the misconception that because we have powerful parents that means we are spoiled and sheltered, you underestimated me as a bender and as a person and you certainly underestimated my brothers for their lack of bending when they are actually quite capable in martial arts. And finally, worst of all, you made the grave mistake of bringing my sister too.”

“Yeah! Shikou is just baby and you scared her!” Korei reinforced angrily.

“We’re gonna beat you to mush for that!” Kalle agreed, already popping his knuckles in preparation.

“No, boys. Mama and daddy must be very worried by now and Shikou is upset enough as it is so please take her outside and make yourselves visible, I’m certain help won’t take long to arrive.” Nilak instructed her brothers with patience.

“But we wanna get even!” Korei whined like any child would when deprived of a treat.

“Yeah! What if they get away?” Kalle added in the same tone.

“I’ll restrain them. Now go, please.” The girl requested, motioning towards the exit.

“Nini…” The twins were both highly reluctant.

“I said go, kiddos.” Nilak’s voice softened and she really smiled for the first time.

“No…” Kalle pouted but he went willingly when his brother pulled him along.

“Don’t take long.” Korei requested.

“I won’t.” She assured the two boys and waited until she was sure they were well out of earshot before she turned towards the kidnappers again, with a flick of her wrist all their paralyzed bodies slid towards her in a perfect file, pulled by the water that now permeated their clothes. “Where were we, gentlemen?”

“She’s gonna kill us… Oh Spirits she’s going to bloodbend us to death!” The nervous tall man screeched after the painless dragging that put him next to his companions, his eyes kept darting from Nilak to the bald man that whimpered and cried out in pain over and over.

“She’s not gonna kills us!” The leader snapped shouted back and then faced the girl as well as he could. “Are you, sweetheart? You’re not cruel enough to kill and if you tried we’d tell everyone you bloodbent us and you know what the punishment for that is, don’t ya?”

“The word of a bunch of kidnappers or the word of the Avatar’s daughter? Hm… I wonder which one people would believe.” Nilak tapped her lips with a shadow of an amused smile.

“She’s gonna kill us!” This time it was the firebender who screamed the words in distress.

“No, she’s not!” The leader yelled again, attempting to rationalize the matter. “We’re already down, you wouldn’t kill or hurt or a fallen enemy, right? You’re the Avatar’s kid, you have honor.”

“Honor, huh?” Nilak smiled for the second time but it was tinted with malice and a touch of something a little bitter, she then cracked her knuckles much like her brother had and water started to float around her like an extension of her being. “Seven blows, wasn’t it?”

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

“Mom! Dad!” The twins shouted in unison and waved as they spotted their parents practically jumping off the police airship that had been scouring that abandoned stretch of terrain for a while. The boys had been waiting for half an hour and were starting to consider checking up on their older sister when they spotted the approaching vessel.

“Dada!” Shikou called out happily upon spotting her father’s dark mask in the distance.

“Boys! Shikou!” Noatak reached them first and hugged the brothers to him tightly, examining them carefully before he took the baby as if she were glass, he took a moment to look at her too and then sighed in relief. “We were so worried.”

“My babies!” Korra ran and skid down to her knees, hugging the twins so tightly that they couldn’t escape as she started kissing all over their faces in complete relief and joy.

“Mom… Mom!” Kalle tried to push her away halfheartedly with his dark cheeks and ears pinking up.

“That’s embarrassing, mom.” Korei added but did not struggle and giggled at her kisses although also blushed.

“Shut up!” The Avatar ordered in worry and only pulled back enough to look at them and push their hair back so she could examine the faint bruising on their cheeks. “Are you ok, did they hurt you?”

“Nah.” Korei smirked cockily.

“They totally sucked. It was easy.” Kalle waved the matter off.

“But they managed to get this far.” Noatak stated in admonishment, still hugging the babbling baby. “If they were so weak how did such a thing happen?”

“We were scared for Shikou…” The boys replied in unison, both of them trailing off with their smugness fading away under their father’s words.

“Where’s Nilak?” The masked man asked, still apprehensive.

“Inside…” Kalle pointed at the warehouse down the road but was interrupted by an abrupt burst of loud screaming from within the place.

Korra and Noatak rushed to the decrepit building as Tenzin took Shikou and Asami, Mako and Bolin took turns hugging and checking out the boys while Skoochy, the Chief and her men prepared to go in. Just before the couple reached the entrance Nilak exited the warehouse looking perfectly calm and impassive even though her navy and indigo clothes appeared spattered and stained in something dark.

“Nini!” The Avatar hugged her daughter with such sudden force that she lifted the teenager off the ground completely.

“Oomph! Mom, air!” Nilak complained, a little winded from the embrace. Korra reluctantly let go but kept looking all over her daughter for any sign of injury.

“Nilak!” Noatak wrapped his arms around his firstborn almost as frantically as Korra had but he was gentler and, as always, Nilak melted into his hug without complaint.

“Daddy.” The girl breathed in his reassuring scent and smiled before the embrace broke and he caressed her cheek that was scratched from the blade.

“Where are the kidnappers?” The question came from Beifong who had just arrived but Korra was thinking the same thing and already facing the entrance with fury twisting her face.

“Which pieces?” Nilak enquired with a sort of detached calm.

“…” Nobody knew what to reply and they all merely stared at the girl in surprise and obvious discomfort since everyone present was aware of just how strong she could be.

“I’m just kidding!” Nilak reverted to her usual self and rolled her eyes at their reaction. “Geez, they’re inside. Banged up but alive, I froze them to the ceiling.”

They entered the building carefully, looking up at the ceiling with all the others now joining close behind. Noatak’s hand was still on his daughter’s shoulder, holding on protectively but it was made clear that it was unnecessary seeing as all five men were glued to the metallic plates of the ceiling but rather than being pinned there by an ice cover as Korra and Noatak would have done, they were all shirtless and their skin appeared to be literally frozen to the metal.

“It’s aluminum.” Noatak noted with some surprise. “And not ice capped.”

“So?” Nilak enquired lightly.

“You froze them to aluminum? Their skins will have fused to the frozen metal!” Beifong interject with a shocked expression while the only two men that were still conscious screamed even as their skin tore under their panicked thrashing and obvious pain.

“Will they?” The girl asked with an air of complete innocence and then turned, hushing her approaching brothers away from the scene as she plucked her baby sister from uncle Tenzin’s arms and hugged the child with tenderness, speaking over the background of screams. “Shikou, baby, sorry. Big sister won’t let the big baddies scare you again.”

Nilak walked away with the baby, looking totally composed and back to her usual harmless pacifist self while the boys gloated to Asami, Mako and Bolin about how they had fought off the bad guys and won, the firebender was actually taking notes for the police report but all in all everyone was just glad that the children didn’t seem frightened or worse for wear.

“Sometimes she’s so much like you that she scares me.” Korra whispered lowly to her lover, lacing her hand with Noatak’s as the metalbending police officers started trying to lower the shrieking criminals to the ground by breaking apart the metal around them rather than just pulling them off it.

“Sometimes I agree with you.” Noatak nodded somberly and squeezed her hand back, both of them choosing to look at the children they adored rather than the criminals that they had wanted to hurt but that now looked absolutely pitiful after facing Nilak’s wrath.


	14. Couch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For shootforthemoonpaper. Because her loyal reviews are very insightful keep me going.  
I wanted some fighting Amorra and some daddy!Noatak + twins interaction so a particular old little comic of my good friend Tiger popped to mind and inspired this little piece of fluff.  
1,559k words. Enjoy.)

Even without the screaming they could tell something was wrong by the way they whole house trembled and it didn’t take a genius to figure it out- Mama was mad. Of course Kalle and Korei had figured that out the moment she snapped at them to go to bed with Nilak and they had gone because all the way through dinner they could tell that there was a fight brewing between their surly parents.

It was different from usual this time, all the normal signs of an argument were there- Korra and Noatak were shouting unintelligibly in their room and things could be heard being tossed around- and yet it was different because this time it wasn’t the Avatar that had gotten angry and started fighting first, it was her lover.

“Go back to bed, boys.” Nilak returned from the bathroom and hushed them back to their beds that were pushed together in their room because they always ended up cuddled to one another. The eleven year old big sister didn’t seem that bothered by the argument and tucked them in with kisses to their foreheads.

“Nini…” Korei clung to her sleeve when it seemed like she’d leave.

“Why are they angry…?” Kalle asked a little sad. Arguments between their parents weren’t that rare but they usually ended well and quickly so when a fight escalated this much for some reason the older twin was always the one that took it the worst.

“Why is daddy yelling?” Korei looked a little scared himself, Noatak very rarely raised his voice even when he was angry so when he shouted they knew it was a terrible omen.

“Don’t worry, he’s just a little angry at some silliness mama did. Everything will be ok.” Nilak chose to settle next to the boys and stay with them until they slept.

The girl ended up telling them a story, a fairy tale about a dragon that fell in love with a human girl and tried to court her with strange magical gifts only to realize that all she wanted was to be able to kiss him without burning her lips on his fiery breath. The boys listened enraptured because Nilak was the best story teller but after a while she dozed and fell asleep before them and yet the shouting match was still going on in the distance and the boys couldn’t sleep because of it.

The twins glanced at each other and nodded in a sort of silent conversation that only they understood, they covered their sister in a fluffy blanket and snuck out of the room to hide in the corridor behind a large Earth Kingdom vase close to their parents’ room. They had already broken that vase about three times but their mother always managed to glue it back together somehow with uncle Bo’s help.

They didn’t really understand the argument, they knew that normally mama was the one to get angry and it was often over daddy’s _work_ and sometimes about other people but this time their father was the relentlessly angry one and they couldn’t figure out why, it didn’t help that their mother was too much of a hot-head to reason with him and just kept trying to turn the fight against him.

Kalle and Korei were aware that when Korra and Noatak fought the last thing anyone should do was get between them and, truth be told, they were too frightened to consider getting involved but they wanted to help somehow, they hated hearing their parents fight.

After a while the two adults started to run out of arguments to toss at each and usually that would be when they’d start to listen and try to find a solution and make up with each other, this often involved either some sparring to smack each other around and vent or a whole different set of muffled noises in the bedroom that the kids didn’t understand but that usually meant mommy and daddy were going to be just peachy together. Except this time they didn’t follow the pattern, this was one of those very rare times were the couple was so intent to keep fighting that they started hashing up old resentments.

The words ‘equalizing’, ‘bloodbending’ and ‘secrets’ were tossed around on Korra’s side, from Noatak’s end they heard ‘reckless’, ‘bad example’ and uncle Mako’s name. They four-year olds knew that this set of words mixed together meant trouble and as a matter of fact the noise in the room escalated until their father was practically flung out the door, a pillow hit his face with far too much force and Korra yelled for him to go away before she slammed the door closed in his face.

The fifty-two year old Noatak grumbled something about frustrating women and headed down the stairs, still fuming but looking obviously crestfallen. The boys also knew what this meant- daddy was sleeping on the couch that night.

They had a free room on the floor above but the former equalist was averse to it, he said that from up there he couldn’t hear what went on in the rest house too well and took too long to react if he was needed below; the twins didn’t know what he meant by that, after all they could slide down the spiral staircase’s railing and be on the lowest floor in seconds but they knew their father disapproved of that which also confused them since their mother had been the one to teach them to slide down the railing in the first place.

Kalle and Korei suspected their father just didn’t like sleeping alone anymore and in the living room he could always have Naga’s company, plus the couch was a little short for the large man but it was wide and comfy so it wasn’t so bad, he could also take the immaculately clean fur rug on the floor like their grandparents did when they visited the poles but it was midwinter and too cold for that.

They felt bad for their father… The boys didn’t really know what the fight had been about and they couldn’t take a side, even if they could they usually sided with Korra anyway because she was the coolest and perfect in their eyes while Noatak was usually too disciplinary and overzealous for their wild ways but none of that changed the fact that they wanted to make their daddy feel less lonely and they didn’t want him to be cold sleeping on the couch downstairs.

Noatak settled on the sofa with his pillow and the old comforter that was usually folded over the armchair nearby, he tossed and turned for a while but eventually relaxed somewhat facing the couch’s back and still seething and thinking about the argument while sleep refused to come. He hated going to sleep angry at Korra, in fact he just loathed being mad at Korra at all but sometimes she was just so…infuriating!

He heard a sound behind him- a very soft padding and a tiny creak. The noise didn’t alarm him, he was aware of what it was but didn’t have the energy to scold the kids back to bed after the long night.

Suddenly there was a tug on the couch and Noatak glanced over his shoulder to spot one of the twins climbing over his brother in order to be able to crawl over the couch and the adult himself, the boy wore fuzzy full body teal pajamas so he assumed it was Kalle. The child then reached down to catch the huge heavy colorful quilt his brother tossed him and clumsily covered his father, he then reached down again to help pull the other boy up, this one wore the same nightwear but in shades of mauve. The former equalist was impressed by their little display of teamwork.

Noatak didn’t move through the whole scene and just watched curiously but when the twins lay cuddled together to his body to share warmth under the quilt he felt his anger seep away like water slipping through his fingers, he understood that they wanted to comfort him, take care of him and keep him company which were things that only Nilak ever tried when Korra was angry and even the young girl usually preferred to give him space when the couple argued so that tiny gesture melted his heart so much that he could almost have shed a tear.

The twins looked at their father a little expectantly, wanting to see his reaction and hoping he wasn’t too mad to want them there. It was a little cramped but Noatak hugged both boys without a word and allowed them to snuggle in his arms until all three of them were falling asleep, lulled by the polar bear dog’s soft snores.

It was always like this, no matter how bad the fight between them, whenever Noatak or Korra saw the children that were a result of their love they realized that nothing was bad enough in this world that it couldn’t be solved if not for the sake of those little ones and the kids were so perfect and kind that the pair couldn’t be doing anything _that_ wrong, could they? It would be alright, with a loving family like that they would always find a way to make things alright.


	15. First Date

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For Masterkungfu2013. I’m 90% sure this is NOT what this person was expecting when their first date request inspired this ficlet but here it is.  
Thirteen year old Nilak has her first real date, her family helps her prepare for it and she learns a new interesting fact about her date that forces her to reevaluate her views in life.  
4,992k words. Enjoy.)

“Stay still, Nilak.” Noatak ordered for the fifth time, he didn’t want to botch her eyeliner again, not now that he had managed to make her look decent after the mess Korra had made trying to paint the girl’s face and ending up making their daughter look like a clown.

“You’re taking too long, daddy.” The girl pouted impatiently but stilled and allowed him to finish. It was a simple look really- just eyeliner, a little cream concealer to hide the ever erupting acne, powder to set it all and some berry lip shine but despite the simplicity of it all it still took too long for Nilak’s tastes.

“Be patient.” He advised as he moved on to the other lash-line.

“Ugh.” She resisted the urge to scowl but obeyed.

“Sucks, doesn’t it?” Korra chuckled at her daughter as she handled the girl’s immensely long hair, it was a little tricky because the woman was always too rough with anyone’s hair and her currently huge belly got in the way.

“It wouldn’t be so bad if you hadn’t ruined the first two tries.” The girl shot back dryly.

“But it was funny!” Her mother countered with a laugh when she recalled the mess of dusty white powder, kohl liner that made pandafish eyes and the clownish maroon smile.

“Are done with your part?” Noatak glanced up at his lover.

“Yeah, pretty much.” The Avatar nodded and gave a last tweak on the teenager’s coffee colored hair before she stepped back and cursed when her pregnant belly messed up her balance and caused her to bump into the vanity table and topple a flask of perfume.

“Please tell me you didn’t give me ponytails, mom.” Nilak grimaced, patting at her hair to decipher what had been done to her usual humble style of loose waves and arched braids framing her head.

“Sush, you look perfect.” Korra pat the girl’s hands away in admonishment.

“All done.” Noatak announced at last and finally set down the little angled brush but before the girl could look in the mirror her brothers came stumbling into the room.

“Nini, look, flowers!” Korei ran inside with an armful of salmon colored flowers but tripped and the plants landed all over her.

“Flowers?” Nilak picked one from her hair and examined the pretty blossom.

“You can’t go on a date without a gift!” Kalle walked in after his brother and explained sassily as if it were obvious.

“Where did you get those?” Noatak asked with his arms crossed and a knowing expression on his marked face.

“Hm…” The boys traded a guilty glance.

“I’ll talk to Pema.” Korra shook her head and repressed a sigh, they could guess the twins had been invading the flower gardens again.

“They are pretty but you shouldn’t pick things from the temple’s garden.” Nilak admonished her brothers but pet their heads to take the sting out of her words.

“I told you we should have just taken cookies!” Kalle snapped sulkily at his brother.

“Well, it’s almost time. Do you have everything?” Noatak glanced at the clock and then his daughter as the girl gathered the fallen flowers into a bunch.

“Yes…” She sighed.

“You don’t look too excited.” Korra poked her daughter’s cheek, the Avatar actually seemed to be the most excited one in the group both because her mood swings made her hyperactive and because ever since Nilak trusted her with the truth about her preferences Korra felt touched and kept trying to play matchmaker for no reason other than seeing the girl happy.

“I’m not.” The teenager pouted.

“Well, you accepted a date with Minori and you can’t back down now.” Noatak pat the girl’s back.

“I’ve gone out with Nori before.” Nilak argued because it was the truth, she had been hanging out with the other kid since the latter was born.

“As friends with Biya and Rohan. This is different and you knew that when you accepted.” The Avatar stated with a mischievous grin.

“How did I get talked into this?” The girl rolled her eyes again.

“Biya said you made a cute couple and told you to say yes.” Noatak piped in knowingly, of course Nilak always went along with whatever Biya said because half time she was too busy swooning over the girl to really pay attention to what was being said and she’d do anything to make Biya feel even just a little happier.

“Oh, right… That’s how.” Nilak frowned, already regretting the decision.

“Just try to have fun, it’s not like it’s that serious. The kid is only eleven after all.” Korra grinned and kept poking her daughter’s plump cheek in the most annoying way just to get a reaction out of the girl.

“You had your first kiss at twelve.” Nilak countered and tried to lean away from her mother’s prodding.

“So?” The Avatar’s didn’t stop until the thirteen year old was smacking her hands away impatiently like an angry kitten.

“Never mind.” Nilak stood and finally looked into the mirror- the makeup was simple but lovely, her hair kept her usual loopy plait to the right side but the left had small braids over her scalp that ended in one of her mother’s hair ties and then tumbled down her back in loose curls, the dress she wore was cobalt blue with a rounded neckline, a pleaded skirt and a white beaded sash around her waist that matched the ashy white sandals she wore. All in all she looked cute and Nilak wasn’t used to feeling cute. “Where did you get the dress?”

“Asami.” Korra replied nonchalantly.

“Isn’t that cheating?” The girl arched a thick but perfect brow. “I mean, Nori’s clothes come from aunt ‘Sami too.”

“Yes but Minori doesn’t need help dressing up, unlike you.” The Avatar teased and bopped the girl’s nose.

“Hey! I have dresses and I know how to wear them!” Nilak pouted again, somehow her mother was the only person that really managed to fluster her and pull her away from her normally calm though snarky demeanor.

“Yes, except they are all dark or old fashioned or weirdly cut.” The woman shook her head dismissively.

“Says madam man-clothes.” The girl stuck out her tongue cheekily.

“My taste in clothing has nothing to do with this, sassy-pants.” Korra retorted, sticking out her own tongue in reply, the twins were giggling at the whole scene from their spot on the bed.

“Then why do you get to pick my clothes in the first place?!”

“Nilak, Korra.” Noatak’s deep rusty voice silenced them at once. “No arguing, please.”

“She started it!” Mother and daughter spoke in unison and pointed at each other.

“It doesn’t matter. What matters is that my baby girl looks pretty and ready for her first official date.” He stated with pride and obvious hidden jealousy.

“Yeah! Nini is pretty!” Kalle reinforced at once.

“She’s the beautifulest!” Korei added for good measure.

“Prettiest.” Korra corrected automatically but then pouted falsely. “And what about me?”

“Mama too!” The twins ran to the Avatar and hugged her waist though their little arms couldn’t go all the way around her big belly. She was tired with shadows under her eyes and kept getting more and more apprehensive and scared lately now that her due date was coming closer but it was these little moments that brightened her days and made her forget the worries.

“Ugh, this is going to be a mess.” Nilak grumbled while she picked up her indigo cloth bag from her parent’s bed.

“No, it’s not.” Noatak encouraged.

“Do I have to go? There’s gonna be a lot of people.” The teenager grimaced, the date was supposed to be an outing to watch one of uncle Bo’s old movers at the theater and she disliked being packed in a room with so many strangers whose heartbeats hummed around her.

“You’ll be fine.” Korra waved off the concern.

“I wanna go to!” Korei stated excitedly.

“Can we, mama?” Kalle begged, clinging to his mother’s clothes.

“Nope. You boys are coming with me to town with Tani and aunt Asami, I’m craving mango milkshakes.” The Avatar announced and licked her lips at the thought.

“Yay!” The twins jumped with joy but Nilak just felt queasy with anxiety.

“I wanna go to my room…” The teenage girl grumbled.

“Come on, Nini. It’s not so bad, I’m sure you’ll have fun.” Korra wrapped an arm around her daughter’s shoulder and kissed her cheek.

“Don’t think of it as anything special, just enjoy yourself.” Noatak advised with a peck to her forehead as well.

“We’ll see.” Nilak muttered.

~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~

She really had no idea why she had said yes, she didn’t know why she was standing around the corner from the Sato manor all primped up and waiting for a date that was younger than her but she considered giving Biya a piece of her mind for ever having talked her into the situation.

Nilak liked Minori but as friends, she was two years older than the other girl and since Minori’s mom didn’t have much time for her kid and the younger child often argued with her father, Minori ended up spending most of her time at the Air Temple with Rohan, the two were pretty close, almost as inseparable as Nilak and Biya were, which was ironic in their group because Minori’s parents were the best friends of Nilak’s parents and Biya was Rohan’s cousin so technically the best friend order was all mixed up.

Yet the fact was that Minori had asked her out on a real date, at first she didn’t take it seriously because the kid was, as Korra had stated, only eleven years old but it became clear that Minori really wanted a real date and the girl was pretty precocious and outspoken so eventually Nilak had to take her seriously and then Biya, the best friend and crush that Nilak would never admit to, pushed her to accept and she did in the spur of the moment. Now she wasn’t so sure what to do, she didn’t want to break the kid’s heart.

“Sorry I’m late, Nil.” A playfully but husky voice caught Nilak’s attention and she turned to spot her date.

“Oh… Hm… It’s ok, Nori. I’ve only been here a minute.” The teen shrugged awkwardly and almost shoved the flowers her brothers had insisted her to take into the kid’s hands. “For you. Kal and Rei’s idea.”

“Thanks, I love camellias.” Minori smiled and smelled the flowers with a happy sigh while the other stared.

Korra was right- Minori didn’t need help dressing up, she hadn’t since the age of six because she had inherited her mother’s sense of style.

The girl wore a pretty red dress tunic that fell to just over her knees with golden embroidery all over the sleeves and pointed neckline, her calf-long slacks were charcoal black and her shiny black pumps had just enough heel to make her as tall as Nilak which wasn’t really that hard in the first place. Minori’s eyes were just like her mother’s but pale amber like her father, her distinct pointy eyebrows came from Mako too and she often got teased for them but Nilak though they looked cute, however the only makeup the kid wore was dark red lipstick that she had started stealing from her mom the year before and that had become a bit of a staple, she managed to wear it better than anything Nilak ever put on. Minori also wore a red silk scarf around her neck and then there was the hair- she had lovely wavy black hair that fell below her shoulder blades but she appeared to had shorn the left side of her hair so short that it was barely half an inch long and yet the rest of her locks were still shoulder length and luscious, mostly tied back with a silver ribbon, leaving only a long bang spilling down the right side of a face.

“What happened here?” Nilak traced the short side of the girl’s hair.

“Burned my hair during bending practice and had to cut it… Should have tied it.” Minori mumbled, blushing slightly. The kid had always been clumsy with her flames and her father kept warning her to tie up her hair. “I couldn’t take cutting it all though but I kind of like it like this.”

“I like it too, it’s unusual and cool.” The teen smiled.

“You think so?” Minori brightened up at once.

“Yep.” Nilak nodded. “You always look cute though.”

“You look really pretty too.” The other smiled bashfully and then took a shy whiff of the air. “You smell nice, like leopard-lilies. Isn’t that your mom’s perfume?”

“She spilled a bottle next to me. Pregnancy makes her a klutz.” She snickered lightly and then changed the subject. “Shall we go? The mover won’t wait for us.” Nilak pointed down the street, trying to avoid revealing her own blush after all the flattery.

“Yes, let’s go.” The girl grabbed her hand and pulled the waterbender along rather excitedly.

Despite her anxiety the date wasn’t as bad as the teenager had expected, it was the middle of the afternoon on a work day so the theater was pretty empty and the mover was surprisingly fun even though the girls would burst out laughing even at the most serious lines because it was so bizarre for them to see uncle Bo pretending to be some sneaky non-bender hero detective from the most recent chapter of the ‘Shao Pin’ saga.

They shared popcorn and berry pop but they were still hungry when they left the theater and headed for a little teashop nearby where Nilak bought sweet bean paste dumplings, chocolate bonbons and honey-mint tea that they snacked on for a while. It was more or less by then that she realized they were being followed. Of course she was always followed by her pet Kinapak but she noticed there was someone else following this time, she could sense the familiar presence nearby and resisted the urge to roll her eyes all over again when she spotted her father trying to hide in a shadowy corner or the shop while sipping on a steaming drink and staring protectively in their direction with an old shabby hat concealing most of his scarred face.

“Want to go somewhere else?” Nilak asked, wondering if she could lose Noatak in a crowd and just go play with the other girl in some quieter spot.

It turned out Minori did want to go somewhere, there was a new accessory store on Jet street that she wanted to see so they soon left the teashop and Nilak took the girl’s hand and weaved through the passersby, they snuck under some food carts and then doubled back and took another route just to be sure that they had lost the person that was following them and fifteen minutes later they were walking into the new shop that was filled with shelf after shelf of cheap but beautiful and colorful jewelry, charms and trinkets.

Minori ended up buying a pair of jade colored bobble earrings for herself and some Water Tribe bone earrings for Nilak, the girl also bought a lovely amethyst pin for the teen because she said it matched her eyes and the latter felt so flattered that in return she got a sun patterned satin scarf for Minori.

It was actually turning out to be a fun day, after the store they stopped to pet some cuddly kittens at the local pet-store and then Nilak rambled about a book she liked while they walked to the beach.

“Hm… Does that thing follow you everywhere?” Minori only noticed the large black wolf-cat when it hopped down from a rooftop and started padding silently a few feet behind them until they took off their shoes and started walking barefoot on the sand of what had to be the smallest beach of Yue Bay.

“Yeah, Kinapak doesn’t like losing sight of me and will come looking for my scent if I’m gone too long.” Nilak shrugged but whistled and the animal rapidly ran towards them and fell into pace next to the girl, it was large enough that its head reached over her hip.

“How does it even leave the island?” Midori blinked in confusion and stared out at the distant blur in the Mo Cea Sea that was Air Temple Island.

“…Actually I’m not sure.” Nilak paused and stared down at the animal that rubbed to her leg and purred innocently. Why hadn’t she ever thought of that? Could a wolf-cat swim that far?

“It’s kinda scary but cute too… And fluffy.” Minori crouched to look at the beast. The girl was used to Kinapak by now after years of interaction but had never had the courage to touch the animal.

“You can pet him, he won’t bite.” Nilak smiled. “Not unless I say so.”

“Well…” Minori hesitated but reached for the wolf-cat hesitantly. Kinapak actually tilted its furry head and pressed to the kid’s touch and when the girl rubbed the beast’s ears it purred even more contently.

“See?” The teen smirked proudly.

“Aww! He’s cuddlier than I thought.” The girl kept petting and rubbing until Kinapak licked her hands with a sandpapery tongue.

“Told you so.” Nilak still smirked but ended up sitting in the sand and watching the sun set while the other played with her pet and they just talked about silly things.

It was strange, she wasn’t used to relaxing so easily when alone with another girl, especially because the girl she hung out with the most happened to be her unrequited crush but Minori was different, although younger and despite her prim, laidback and almost haughty ways the girl was easy to talk to and very sweet, she was clumsy and a little too smug but also insightful and delightfully sneaky. Nilak almost wished Minori were older so she wouldn’t feel weird kissing the kid because all of the sudden she wanted to do just that.

“Nil… You ok?” The girl’s voice snapped her out of her reverie and Nilak realized she had been staring at the other.

“Oh… Yeah, Nori. Just thinking.” She smiled her usual faint aloof smile and hid her awkwardness.

“Thank you for going out with me today.” Minori scooted a little closer until she sat hip to hip with the other. “It was fun.”

“Yeah, it was.” Nilak resisted the urge to edge away nervously but looked at the girl.

“I like you.” The words tumbled out of the amber eyed girl in an embarrassed rush.

“I like you too, Nori. We’ve been friends since forever.” The teen replied noncommittally.

“No, I mean… I really _like_ you.” Minori emphasized the word and found it hard to keep eye contact.

“…I know.” Nilak didn’t see the point in denying it or demeaning the girl’s feelings over her youth.

“I don’t wanna ask you to date me ‘cause I know you don’t feel the same and you think I’m just a kid, but I just wanted you to know that.” The firebender muttered shyly but then took a breath and sat straight and proud with her chest puffed out. “But someday I’ll ask you out on a proper date again and I’ll… I’ll make you swoon.”

“Oh really?” The teen chuckled at the determined but childish tone the other used.

“Yeah! Like in four or five years or something.” Minori insisted stubbornly.

“Uh uh.” Nilak just smiled and chose not to take it seriously.

“I mean it.” The girl pouted when the other didn’t seem to believe her.

“I’ll be waiting then.” The waterbender grinned.

Minori stared at her for long minute with a troubled expression and then she suddenly leaned forward and pressed her lips to Nilak’s, the latter was so surprised that she didn’t fight it. The kiss was soft, tender and tasted like honey and mint, their lips molded a little klutzily with berry lip shine and maroon lipstick smudging together and it only lasted a few heartbeats but when the younger one pulled away they were both red and looked at anything but each other.

Well, at least Nilak couldn’t say the girl wasn’t braver than her.

“So…” Minori trailed off awkwardly, rubbing her smudged lipstick off nervously with the tips of her fingers.

“Hm…” The teen didn’t know what to say and rubbed the back of her head self-consciously.

Kinapak, who had settled on the sand at their feet, looked up and glanced at each of them curiously, yawning in boredom as the minutes ticked by and the sun kept dipping in the horizon. Eventually Minori started using the flowers and producing little flickers of flame between her fingers in order to entertain the bored animal and Nilak grasped at that to make conversation.

“That’s pretty nifty.” She commented with an admiring glance at the little sparks of dancing fire that the wolf-cat followed with its eyes when the plants became boring. She had always found fire beautiful and loved to watch her mother firebend even if water was what called to her.

“It’s nothing. Just sparkles.” Minori shrugged but smiled at the praise. “It’s pretty though, isn’t it?”

“Yes, it is.” Nilak smiled back and looked at the sea, with some concentration she tugged a streamer of water that swirled around the other playfully. “I can’t do sparkles but this is nice too, right?”

“Yeah! And it does sparkle, see?” Minori shifted her head and watched the way the swirling liquid reflected golden rays of sunlight from every angle, then she glanced at Nilak not with the fear, jealousy or disgust she was used to from strangers but with awe. “How do you do that without moving?”

“It’s just a quirk… Plus a lot of practice.” The waterbender shrugged but the familiar little headache and the crackle in her ears that she was used to from using telekinetic waterbending was already creeping onto her and trying to disrupt her focus, it wouldn’t work though, she had enough years of training to learn to ignore it.

Kinapak sat up and followed the path of the spiraling water with interest and then suddenly the wolfcat pounced and tried to catch the liquid to play, unlike the headache that did indeed manage to distract Nilak and the water splashed onto both girls. Minori blinked in surprise with her hair glued to her face and her clothes sticking to her body while the waterbender grimaced apologetically… And then they laughed.

They laughed so hard that Nilak’s sides hurt, especially because Minori got up and started chasing Kinapak on the shoreline, trying to splash the wolf-cat with sea water as payback and managing only to trip and get her scrawny self to splatter into the foamy embrace of a breaking wave.

Minori got up sputtering and with seaweed in her hair as Nilak approached, still laughing raucously. The younger girl pouted and then pulled the teen into the cold water by her clothes too and the waterbender squeaked before she splashed, not unwillingly, into the salty sea.

They tossed water at each other and played until it started getting too dark and the moon rose above the last rays of purplish and orange light from the dying sunset, then they dragged themselves out and sat on the sand again, giggling like little children.

“Mom is gonna have a fit when she sees me.” Minori looked down at her drenched and salt-stained clothes and grimaced.

“I’m sure aunt Asami has bigger things to worry about than salty clothes.” Nilak giggled and she waterbent the liquid from her own clothes, not caring about the stains.

“You’re right. She probably won’t even notice.” There was a little touch of bitterness that Nilak couldn’t overlook but before she could ask about it Minori was pulling off her tunic and ringing it dry which became highly distracting.

The teen never expected the eleven year old to have breasts or curves yet but the sight of Minori’s flat naked torso still took her by surprise because it was completely unfeminine, the scrawny physique was starting to take on lean muscle from firebending training and there was something about the shoulders and hips that just felt off…

“You’re a boy…?” Nilak blurted abruptly more to herself than the other when the sudden assumption popped into her head. It couldn’t be, it was crazy- Minori always dressed like a girl, talked like a girl, was referred to by everyone as a girl, heck, she even wore lipstick and liked jewelry!

“Huh?” The kid glanced at Nilak a little surprised and then the waterbender’s stunned expression seem to hit the young one and Minori looked away with an awkward shrug, tugging off the silk scarf as well. “Well duh. Everybody knows that.” The kid pointed at his throat where an adam’s apple was just starting to protrude on the slender neck.

“I didn’t know that!” Nilak was stunned, she always prized herself on being perceptive and smart so how come she hadn’t notice the gender of one of her closest friends?

“Really?” Minori looked at her with a vaguely curious and somewhat flattered half-smile.

“Yes!” She was still trying to make sense of the situation. “Why does everyone treat you like a girl?”

“Because I want them to?” The kid sounded amused and a little sarcastic. “I like feeling like a girl- the clothes are cuter, makeup is pretty, girly things and hobbies and toys are more fun than rough and boring boy stuff and I just always felt like a girl even if I have...different parts. I always felt that way but people tend to make a fuss about it, people like my dad.” Minori frowned slightly but spoke as if this had been explained a million times before. “So everyone just started treating me like a girl and that makes me happy. I mean, I don’t mind if people know I’m boy and talk to me as a boy so long as they don’t try to make me _act_ like one but I’m happier being a girl… And I know you like girls better too so win-win…”

Minori had started to ramble a little and fidgeted nervously as he wrung his tunic dry and slipped it back on before repeating the process on the scarf, never daring to look at Nilak because he was clearly scared of her reaction even though he had been flattered that she always saw him as female.

Nilak was watching him and trying to make sense of the situation, she was stressing out a little but it wasn’t because she thought she had misgendered a friend or because of the fact that Minori was a boy, it was because she had kissed a male and actually liked it no matter how short and silly it had been, no matter that there was no shred of romantic feeling behind it she still liked it and that was very new for her since girls were all she was ever attracted to all her life and that was something not likely to change. Suddenly she was very confused about herself.

“I’m sorry…” Minori whispered a little uncomfortably.

“Why are you apologizing?” Nilak felt a bit lost.

“I don’t know. For freaking you out?” He grimaced.

“You don’t freak me out, Nori.” The waterbender smiled reassuringly but felt guilty. “I’m sorry for reacting like this, I just really thought you were a girl and this surprised me.”

“Well, I am a girl. Maybe not all my parts are right and maybe I don’t mind being a boy every once in a blue moon but I _am_ a girl, Nil.” Minori insisted stubbornly and full of optimism.

“…” Nilak didn’t really know how to reply or how to feel but she wrapped her arm around the kid’s shoulders in a companionable one-armed hug. “Yeah, that you are. I don’t know anyone girlier than you, that’s for sure.” Her tone was playful but it was actually true considering that the two women Nilak interacted with the most, her mother and best friend, were both complete tomboys.

“You think so?” Minori looked pleased and finally smiled honestly and haughtily again.

“I do.” The waterbender kissed his cheek in a friendly way and decided then and there that she couldn’t view this person as a boy even if she tried so to her Minori would always just be Minori. “So should I use ‘she’ when I talk to you? Because it’s kinda of hard not to.” She chuckled awkwardly, attempting to sound casual.

“She, he, they, I don’t care. I prefer ‘she’ but I’m so used to the others that I don’t mind.” Minori acted nonchalant and waved a hand in an exaggerated sweep but it was clear that male pronouns annoyed the kid, Nilak assumed it was because some people were too stubborn to accept using the female forms when it came to Nori- she decided she was never going to be one of them, besides she was so accustomed to seeing her friend as a girl that it really wasn’t a big change for her.

“Alrighty. Now let’s get you home before uncle Mako gets mad at me for bringing you home after dark.” The waterbender elbowed the other playfully.

Minori smiled and nodded, Nilak let the kid to hold her hand all the way back to the Sato estate and during the one hour walk they talked about their friends and the baby that was about to join Nilak’s family soon. She was interested to discover that apparently Rohan knew all about Minori’s not-so-secret gender identity but nobody was sure if Biya knew or not because she was just that much of an airhead and what she said one day often changed the next.

Once Minori was safely at home with flowers in her arms and sand in her hair and delivered into Mako’s hands, Nilak said goodbye and declined an invitation for dinner because her father was likely starting to stress out over having lost track of her. She left with Kinapak at her side and walked immersed in her own thoughts until she stumbled on Noatak on the docks where he was waiting to take her home, she smiled and assured him that she had had fun and in no time at all they were heading home and all the while the girl mused that her father was right when he had once said that life wasn’t easy and that the world was a very complex place but that that was what made it beautiful and interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: And Minori is revealed! I know I’ll probably get a lot of crap over this character from more conservative readers but I really wanted to explore that sort of side character without being overly dramatic about it.  
I won’t post the whole character info sheet but I want to give some details:  
Let it be stated that although Minori usually identifies as female and prefers to live as female, s/he is not really trans but more like genderfluid/bigender. Think Kuranosuke from Kuragehime if you know that show. He is also attracted only to girls.  
Minori was not a planned child, as stated in “Castaway” Asami never wanted to have children but when she found herself pregnant two years after Nilak’s birth Mako managed to persuade her to have the baby and while both parents love Minori very much and Asami is fully acceptant of him and enables his preferences, she is also a bit of an absent parent considering the amount of work and responsibility on her plate; as for Mako he is a natural at parenthood after practically raising Bolin but has some issues about having a son that would rather be a daughter. Minori’s favorite relative is uncle Bo.  
Fun fact- My sister has cosplayed as Minori although of all my OC’s her favorite is without a doubt Biya.)


	16. Kiseki

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For ravenstarwind40, Lisu's other mommy.  
This ficlet is mostly in Noatak’s PoV and is somewhat strange because it sort of time skips, also it is not about Amorra but about another ship in “Castaway” and what results from it.  
3,584k words. Enjoy.)

He still couldn’t quite believe it, Noatak still wondered how in the world he hadn’t seen it and how Korra had been more perceptive than him in the matter… It was more than a little shocking, even for someone like him.

Noatak had already picked up on hints that the Avatar might right but they never seemed strong enough to make him believe it, he always just assumed that whatever Liu and Lisu had might be mutual but had never gone much further than admiration and an unrealized crush, even when the woman started working at the Academy as well and he saw them together it always just felt like a very unique sort of friendship… Besides, Liu would have told him if anything was really happening between the equalist and the sentry, right? If there was anyone that could understand the problems of an equalist loving a bender or a man loving a woman half his age, it was Noatak and they were friends enough that in seven years the matter would be bound to come up, right?

Yet, now that he thought about it, perhaps the matter had been brought up in conversation and Noatak had just preferred to disregard it, Liu had never been forthcoming about his private relationships and always claimed to be too busy for romance but there had been a few conversations, a few cryptic talks over drinks that rose suspicion but never really said things directly enough to confirm anything. Or… Maybe Noatak was just in denial because he didn’t want to believe it and didn’t want to admit Korra was right about this particular topic.

He still remembered the day he was forced to take Korra’s suspicions seriously, it took him over seven years of listening to her theories for the truth to suddenly come knocking on his door- literally.

Korra had been struggling to eat breakfast while handling their six month old twins one morning, both of whom were screaming their lungs out, while he was trying to coach little Nilak to stop crying after falling on the stairs. Both parents were sleep deprived and irritable so neither of them appreciated the snappy rasp of knuckles on their door at ten in the morning.

The Avatar was the one who answered, holding one wailing twin in her arms while the other screeched on the sling at her back; her clothes were stained with baby spittle and food, her eyes were framed in deep pits and her hair was in knots but Korra didn’t care in the least and just pulled the door open with annoyance to find Lisu on the other side, standing as straight, composed and aloof as always.

The sentry was now in her early thirties but looked barely a day older than when Noatak had first seen her on the island, yet that isn’t to say she hadn’t changed- her straight black hair was longer and she wore it tied at the bottom, she was thinner too and sported a slight scar across the bridge of her nose that was a memento from the time the White Lotus members had turned on each other, some rebelled against Korra herself for a myriad of reasons and gone into war, they had nearly disbanded the sentries altogether a couple of years before but in the end things had been settled and the White Lotus had rearranged itself, Lisu had been in charge of all the island sentries directly involved with Korra ever since.

Lisu apologized for disturbing but rather than accept the apology Korra had pulled her inside and plopped one of the twins in the sentry’s hands, stating that if she wanted to talk then at least she could help for a bit too. The sentry had always been very awkward with infants and although competent she preferred to avoid children due to her lack of experience yet she rocked the little boy patiently while Korra sat on the couch to nurse the other one and chew down on buttered toast, meanwhile Noatak bandaged some scrapes on Nilak’s knees with the girl sitting on the kitchen counter.

When the first twin finally started to feed hungrily and calm down and the other quieted to fussy sniffles, the Avatar sighed in relief and finally looked at the sentry and asked what the visit was about. Lisu was pensive at first and then stated that she had come to request a leave of absence for the next year.

Korra was stunned enough to drop half her toast, mostly because the sentries never really asked _her_ for permission to do anything but also because Lisu was the definition of zealous and had been reluctant to take so much as ten hours a week off her sentry duties to teach firebending techniques at the academy so going as far as asking for a whole year off was just… bizarre.

The Avatar told her there was no need to ask since she wasn’t the boss of the sentries and what they chose to do wasn’t something she policed but Lisu insisted on explaining that Twig would take her place as commander while she was away even though she would still want weekly reports and as soon as the leave was up she would return to duty, the only thing she didn’t explain was why she wanted the time off.

And then came the strangest part of all- Noatak walked into the room right about then with Nilak in his arms, he was curious about the conversation and sat next to Korra, the sentry glanced at him and surprised him with a very serious request.

“I like to ask you for something very important. Please don’t tell Liu about my request for now, I need time to decide how to talk to him.” Lisu’s words were uncharacteristically pleading considering her usually quiet and detached attitude.

“Is something wrong between the two of you?” The former revolutionist enquired with concern, he hadn’t picked up on anything strange on his friend’s end but that entire episode struck him as odd.

“Not quite wrong, no. I just don’t know how to tell him that he’s going to be a father, considering his past I’m not sure he’ll take the news very well.” Lisu spoke as if the matter was perfectly normal and obvious to the world but Korra choked on the last bit of bread at the news and startled Korei who started crying against her chest and Noatak just stared at the woman dumbfounded.

“I told you! Seven fucking years I’ve been telling you!” Korra stated excitedly and elbowed her lover repeatedly. “Didn’t I tell you they were together? Didn’t I?” She grinned and started to mimic his voice mockingly- “‘No, Korra, there’s no way it’s romantic.’ AH! Mr. Know-It-All doesn’t know everything after all!”

“Korra, please. Not now.” He admonished calmly as Lisu stared at him slightly curious.

“I’m sorry, I was under the impression Liu spoke to you about me. We are very private about our relationship but we weren’t trying to keep it a secret, I assumed you both knew already.” The sentry excused politely, still watching him like an eagle-hawk in search of his reaction.

“I did but the old man here was convinced that creepy mustache guy wouldn’t date a bender.” Korra snickered and elbowed Noatak again while Nilak made faces to calm her baby brother down until he started nursing again.

“Korra, that is not what I said.” Noatak chided once again and turned to Lisu. “I apologize, it’s just that I never thought Liu had overcome his past issues enough to engage in a serious relationship and although he often mentioned a lover he was never very forthcoming with details.”

“Don’t apologize, I know how he is.” She nodded quietly.

“So that’s why you want a leave of absence? How far along are you?” Korra actually seemed excited but she was never one to like baby talk with other women unless it meant bragging about her own spawn so Noatak assumed she just wanted information to tease Liu with later given their bickering relationship.

“Ten weeks give or take and yes, considering the perils of this job and the responsibilities I shoulder, it would not be healthy to me nor fair to the other sentries if I stayed during this time, it would be wiser to step down for a while.” Lisu spoke serenely with that strategic logic that Noatak had always appreciated.

“Great, then twins will have a playmate closer to their age too!” The Avatar grinned widely and held up the baby in her arms, patting his back softly with trained ease.

“It would indeed be an honor if your children could interact with mine on a regular basis.” Even after seven years Lisu was still so formal in that typical Fire Nation manner, that was probably why Korra still felt a little intimidated by the woman unlike Twig who was just easygoing and playful although dead serious about his job.

“I’m sure they’ll be good friends.” Noatak stated, he was actually grateful that that the people closest to Korra had children as well, it ensured that their daughter and sons would always have friends even if the rest of the world pushed them away.

“Ok, so when do you leave?” Korra asked as if the matter was already settled.

“In a week if that doesn’t pose an inconvenience.” The woman replied curtly. “The elders have been informed already.”

“Alright, tell me if you need anything.” Korra offered and a smug smile graced her lips. “And if Liu gives you grief I’ll be happy to smack him around for you.”

“I’m sure there will be no need for that.” Lisu actually smiled, a rare occurrence that made her seem surprisingly sweeter. However, before the conversation could escalate she seemed to have another matter to speak of- “I’d like to point out that Kiviuq has suggested starting a small side brigade of sentries to protect the children, it is not the Order’s responsibility but all things considered I accepted to give the idea some thought seeing as your Nilak is often not only with Rohan but also with Miss Sato’s child and little Biya, all of which are children of influential parents and therefore targets to unsavory characters. He and Qilaq offered to be in charge of the group that would watch over the children if you agree to this measure.”

Korra and Noatak traded a glance of silent conversation at this offer- he was more than glad to accept any extra protection for his children given his overzealous tendencies but he was afraid that this would lead to further scrutiny of their lives and there were secrets in this family that others should not be aware of, not even close friends; on the other hand the Avatar had always said that she didn’t want the Order to have to help with her kids because they were her responsibility, she didn’t even think she herself needed the bodyguards but given the amount of enemies and supernatural complications in her life and the fact that Lisu was right about the kids all being targets she figured that it would be safer to have the added protection.

However, regardless of all the rest, Korra and Noatak trusted Qilaq and Kiviuq, the pair had been with Lisu before she even met the Avatar, they were healers and unlike the vast majority of White Lotus sentries the two Water Tribers were married and to each other no less but they couldn’t have children due to some rather unfortunate battle injuries and had therefore grown attached not just to the Avatar’s children but to most of the kids in the island which only meant they were emotionally invested in the task of protecting the young ones and that made them even more trustworthy.

“I guess we could try that for a while and see how it goes.” Korra grumbled a little, revealing her mixed feelings in the way she spoke. Noatak nodded in agreement and accepted to test the offer as well.

“I will inform them of your reply.” Lisu nodded briskly and then stood and passed Kalle back to his mother when Noatak took the first boy from Korra. “I should return to work now. Thank you for your time.”

And that was it, in a simple half hour conversation the debate, the bet, Noatak and Korra had been having for the past seven years was resolved… Unfortunately that meant Korra won and Noatak wasn’t going to like having to pay for it.

Two weeks later Liu had called Noatak well past midnight practically shouting at him and ordering to come get him because the former lieutenant was stuck in a dingy bar by the shore and the bartender had taken away the keys to his truck because he drank too much so he couldn’t get home. It would have been easier to call Menita, Liu’s cousin and second in command lived nearby and would have taken him home but it turned out the equalist wanted to talk to Noatak- Lisu had informed him that day of the situation and while he was happy on one end he was also terrified because he couldn’t get over his failure to protect his previous family decades before.

They talked a lot and drank quite a bit too, Liu needed some sense knocked into him and Noatak provided it with ease and eventually the equalist’s panic simmered down and they went from serious angst-ridden conversation to lighthearted congratulations and jokes about how princess Nilak would no longer get all of uncle Liu’s attention.

Noatak only came home at dawn that day, Korra had been very sour about it because waking up three times a night to handle two screaming babies all on her own was very stressful but she understood, she still hoped she’d get an excuse to smack Liu for the fun of it but she wasn’t angry.

Several months later they got a repeat of Liu’s panicked phone call but this time it happened around noon, Korra was sulking and covered in porridge splatter while she tried to get the twins to eat rather that splash their chubby hands in the food and Noatak was busy laughing at her appearance while combing Nilak’s hair after getting her ready to go spend the afternoon with at Asami’s house. The couple had the day off and actually hoped that Pema might be up to babysitting so they could have some alone time but the shrill insistent ring of the phone shattered that hope and Liu’s frantic pleads for their presence decided their afternoon for them.

As they had already guessed when the former lieutenant told them to head to the hospital Lisu was in labor very ahead of schedule and Liu wasn’t being allowed into the delivery room which Korra found absolutely idiotic until she discovered the man had been shouting at a healer earlier, arguing over nothing in his distress and demanding a non-bender physician and thus gotten himself kicked out of the room for disturbing the peace. The Avatar took pity on him and checked up on Lisu, Qilaq was there too and things seemed to be going pretty well for a premature birth, Lisu was actually a lot more composed than Korra had ever been and refused to scream, bearing with the pain in relative silence with only occasional groans slipping past her grit teeth even if the effort was evident in her face and sweat trailed down her creamy skin, gluing the bland white hospital tunic and her disheveled hair to her back.

The birth was very lengthy, Korra and Noatak had arrived shortly past one in the afternoon but at three in the morning they were still in the hospital and Liu had almost paced a trench into the polished tile floor, he looked completely rumpled and refused to accept any of the food or drink that Noatak or Menita brought for him, he also froze whenever Korra came outside for a break or to announce that everything was fine but still not over. It was close to dawn when the tense quiet outside the door was broken by insistent wailing and Korra finally came outside looking exhausted and yawning as she announced that Lisu had a baby girl.

Liu barged into the room so quickly that Korra almost spun when he passed her at high speed, for a guy in his late fifties he was impressively fast. Menita and Noatak followed but the latter stayed by the door, holding Korra who was leaning to him and almost dozing on her feet while they watched Liu kissing Lisu fervently which was a first for them and it was somewhat jarring to see the usually aloof Lisu look exhausted but giddy and the normally snarky and surly Liu act all loving and respectful just before he picked up their newborn like a pro.

The baby was a very loud screamer and she was tiny, not as tiny as they remembered Nilak being at birth but still surprisingly small, she was as pale as her father but rosy and plump, her hair was very sparse and fuzzy but pitch black and her eyebrows were almost inexistent, her eyes were also very slanted and Korra was curious about their color, a curiosity that was soon satisfied when Liu managed to calm the baby and shielded her eyes from the bright lights of the delivery room until the child was comfortable enough to partially open them.

Menita gasped, Noatak’s brow rose in a display of interest and Korra became wide awake all over again and waltzed up to Liu and the kid just to be sure her tired brain wasn’t playing tricks on her- the baby had mismatched eyes, one was pale mottled amber and the other was brilliant blue yet the kid’s eyes followed the blur of motion that was the Avatar so it was safe to assume she could see properly.

Liu only paid the unusual eye color a minute of attention and then focused of nervously checking everything else in the kid’s tiny body before holding the baby possessively, he found that the girl had a few paler patches of skin here and there and seemed to have white fuzz on the fringe of her hair but otherwise seemed healthy and as water-healers both the midwife and Qilaq assured them that there was nothing noticeably wrong with her.

Lisu didn’t even notice the heterochromia until it was pointed out to her and that’s how Korra discovered what Noatak had already noticed- she had a color blind sentry because there was no way a mother would look at her newborn so intently and adoringly and not notice the most striking feature the child had. It was yet another new piece of information the Avatar hadn’t known of about the sentry that Korra had always seen as perfect and imposing with her very quiet but watchful and sharp personality.

“What will you call her?” Menita enquired with her raspy voice reflecting how tired but relieved they all felt, the woman still didn’t like Noatak even after almost a decade after his fall as Amon and she tended to ignore Korra but that day she was unusually friendly, after all, Liu was her only family.

“Kiseki.” Lisu announced without hesitation.

By the look Liu gave the woman it was clear the name hadn’t really been settled but he nodded in agreement and repeated. “Kiseki. Yes.”

“Seriously? What sort of name is that?” Menita shook her head in mild disapproval but smiled anyway.

“I like it.” Noatak supported. He figured ‘miracle’ was a lovely name for a child born from two people that might never have fought each other but had been from such intensely opposed factions, people that came from completely different backgrounds with such dissimilar heritage and had such opposite personalities, people that had found love despite their differences and beliefs.

“Yeah, me too.” Korra piped in.

“In that case, I might reconsider it.” Liu stated, giving the Avatar a snarky leer.

“Oh, shut up, noodle ‘stache.” Korra stuck her tongue out at the man rebelliously and she heard Lisu giggle for the first time in her life.

By the time Noatak and Korra got home it was a gloomy cloudy morning already, the twins and Nilak had slept over at the temple and Pema agreed to watch over them until after lunch so their parents could sleep but only after Korra broke the news of Kiseki’s birth to all the on-duty sentries and Noatak realized that all those White Lotus benders were happy that their companion had had a child with a man that had been one of the most zealous equalists of the Equalist War.

Strangely enough it seemed like his desire for a world of social equally was indeed slowly coming true, at least in some departments, even if it was strangely different from what he had imagined... Or maybe it could have always been this way and Amon had simply been too focused on highlighting the bad to start a war rather than encouraging the good to change the world in a peaceful way, he found that thought too idealistic and unreal but it was pleasant to see that the Amon side of him hadn’t been completely right about anything. Only then did the masked man feel glad that he had lost that seven-year old bet.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: ‘Kiseki’ is a Japanese word for ‘miracle’, since Lisu is full Fire Nation and the FN was based on Japanese culture I thought it was appropriate.  
For all those wondering, Kiseki has an Avatar Universe version of Waardenburg Syndrome, a genetic disorder that causes heterochromia (or sometimes just brilliant blue eyes), vitiligo (white skin patches), poliosis (white hair patches), among other minor things depending on the level of the illness, it also has another major (actually the main) symptom but that will be revealed in other ficlets and in the “Castaway” sequel itself when I get to it and will be the main trait of this character though not her defining feature. This illness affects all genders and races and is not life threatening (only in very very rare situations which isn’t Kiseki’s case) and does not affect a person’s intellect but it does cause a very specific sort of physical impairment that I want to write about due to personal family experience, not with Waardenburg’s but with the impairment it causes. As predicted, she will grow up quite close to Kalle and Korei.)


	17. Girl’s Night Out

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For kaschra and abnaxus as a very belated birthday gift. I know it’s not much and probably not appropriate at all but this ficlet does revolve around the birthday thematic and as fellow Amorra shippers I figured you might enjoy some Amorra!baby-Amorra!parents interaction.  
Notes: This is part of the “The Castaway” universe but non-canon to it, at least not yet and maybe not ever (depends on how things go later). It does, however, have a lot of references and foreshadowing to things that are/will be canon in the story.  
There’s lots of OC development and child-parent bonding in this.  
Can also be read and reviewed HERE.  
Summary: Korra takes her firstborn for a girl’s night out on Nilak’s sixteenth birthday (or better yet, the day after, because reasons). Things get intense in more ways than one.  
17,247 words. Enjoy.)

It was hot, much too hot, the entire establishment felt stuffy and a thin sheen of perspiration was starting to dew on Korra’s skin as she sat at that balmy bar with her long hair annoyingly loose and wearing a stupid full-sleeve cobalt dress that she knew looked pretty on her but which she didn’t even like in the first place because it was so fluttery and tight around the waist and not at all her style; yet, she could have endured the dress if not for the heat, it was hard to believe it could be so hot since it was late winter and a storm was brewing outside.

The club was packed with loud chatting groups of people in colorful clothes and rowdy dancers trying out complicated new moves to the rhythm of an upbeat kind of music had been growing in popularity lately; flickering flecks of light reflected off a mirrored contraption that hung in the middle of the ceiling and the smell of smoke, alcohol, perfume and human bodies blended into something almost palpable. Yet nobody seemed to mind for they were all still celebrating the arrival of a new year, Korra herself felt smothered but relieved too- as much as they tried to celebrate, the turn of the year was always a stressful day in her household.

«What am I even doing here?» For the tenth time that evening she asked herself the same question and the events that led to the outing replayed in her head again and again.

It was Korra’s own fault- she had wanted to take the opportunity that Nilak’s birthday presented to do something special with her daughter, something only for them without the boys in the way but Nilak shot down all her suggestions to out into town. The Avatar then changed tactics and began to whine that Nilak was just too anti-social and incapable of normal human interaction, she complained and ranted that such a thing had to change, she did all this merely to try poking at the girl’s pride in hopes that Nilak would want to prove her wrong. Unfortunately for Korra, her plan worked.

And that was precisely was she was stuck sitting at that bar and wondering what had gone wrong. It’s not that she didn’t like these places or didn’t appreciate the occasional drink or a chance to dance her butt off, Nilak was the one that hated crowded spaces after all, it’s just that it was hot and Korra somehow ended up alone, sipping on a boring translucent blue drink while she waited for the others… She hated waiting, thirty-four years old and she still hadn’t learned patience.

“Hello, beautiful.” A mellow male voice greeted sweetly to her right.

Korra barely caught a glimpse of the tall lanky man in his early twenties, taking in his dark eyes and slick wavy hair, she ascertained that he was indeed talking to her and then uttered a stern and bored- “No.”

“How cold. I just noticed you seemed rather upset all alone here, I was just trying to be polite.” He moved closer and his hand grazed up her arm in a rather suggestive manner.

“Don’t care.” The Avatar swatted said hand away as if it were a troublesome mosquito without so much as glancing his way.

“I don’t think I’ve seen you around.” He ignored her dismissive attitude and moved even closer, until they were practically hip to hip. “You new here?”

“Nope.” Korra inched away and took another sip from her drink, it was hard to tell but the answer was really a double entendre- not only was she refusing further conversation but she was also answering the question.

She really wasn’t new, she had actually been in the club with Asami on the day it opened several years before and had to pay for damages to the establishment a couple of years later when she got into a silly fight in there and burnt some furniture.

“Don’t be such a cool glass of milk, honey. I’m just making conversation.” This time his hand skated down her back towards her rear.

Korra had to shove him back with a snarl on her face but she didn’t reply, it was taking all her self-control not to break the guy’s nose in as it was and she was on the verge of leaving altogether and waiting outside. This was exactly the sort of reason why she rarely came to these places incognito and when she did she had to have company, being alone made her into bait for hungry slug-monkeys and that usually ended in a brawl.

“Alright, alright, I may have been a bit too forward.” The man raised his hands in a mock gesture of surrender and then waved at the bartender to come over. “I’m sorry. Let me buy you a drink and make it up to you.”

“I am going to start ignoring you now.” She snapped in hopes that he’d get the message once and for all before she lost her cool altogether. Korra turned away from the intruder and downed the rest of her drink in one gulp, still scowling heavily and looking around for the others- she got why Asami and the others hadn’t arrived but what taking Nilak so long in the bathroom? She supposed the girl might just as well be hiding to avoid the confusion but it was getting worrisome.

“Ouch.” He chuckled out the word as the bartender poured him some clear but pungent drink that he sipped on before leaning on the counter and staring at her further. “Has anyone ever told you that you have the prettiest pout?”

Korra grit her teeth and begun to turn, intent on breaking something or at the very least on giving this jerk a piece of her mind, but before she could start a fight someone stepped between the two very casually and spoke for her in a cheerful but husky voice.

“Yeah, her husband tells her that almost every day.” The newcomer spoke in a tone of warning but smiled charmingly, Korra knew that smile- it was reminiscent of a squid-shark just before it gobbles up a juicy prey and it was also completely fake.

“Husband?” The man seemed taken aback and looked from the curvy dark girl to Korra, awkward and nervous all of a sudden. “Oh my, I’m so sorry, I had no idea.”

“So… How is the fact that she’s married more important as a deterrent than the fact that she said ‘no’ repeatedly?” The young girl enquired with lighthearted but troubled curiosity before Korra could get another chance to snap, the latter took the cue and ordered a second drink just to keep distract herself from her simmering irritation.

“And you are?” The flirtatious tomcat asked, obviously deflecting away from the question as he took in the short girl’s appearance, skimming past her long frizzy hair and pale periwinkle eyes heavily lined in black but lingering on her plump lips and other overly generous curves a bit lower down. She wore a long layered black skirt and a navy blue boat-cut top but the man didn’t seem as interested in the clothes as he was of what lay beneath them.

“Nilak. You?” She place a hand on her hip and leaned on the counter too, forming a wall between the Avatar and the overly flirty gentleman that the latter wanted to punch and Korra was pretty sure that keeping that from happening was the girl’s goal entirely.

“Karpok. Pleasure to meet you.” He smiled far too smugly. “And how do you two know each other…?” The man waved between Korra and Nilak with an expectant expression.

“You can’t see the resemblance?” The girl grabbed Korra by the shoulder and placed her face next to the Avatar’s, still smiling in that disconcertingly charming way. Truly, there was a little similarity between them- the tone of their skin, the noses and lips, but not much more.

“…Sisters?” Karpok guessed without much interest.

“…Pffft. Ahahah!” Nilak tried to restrain herself down to a smile but ended up giggling- once again it wasn’t her real laughter and made Korra frown suspiciously. “Did you hear that? He thinks we’re sisters!”

“You’re not? Cousins then?” He guessed again with a little more interest, mirroring Nilak’s laughter.

Apparently getting the girl to giggle and seeing her show such interest in the conversation was deflecting his attention to her rather than the Avatar. Korra wasn’t sure she liked that either, in fact, she was certain she hated it even more than if a sleazy guy like Karpok were hitting on her but she also knew there was no way Nilak was interested in this person and therefore she had to have some plan in mind… Which made the Avatar both apprehensive and insanely curious.

“Ah…” Nilak sighed girlishly and twirled a lock of hair between her fingers. “That’s what you get when your mom is cuter than you.”

“Excuse me?” Karpok choked on his drink and stared, waiting for the punchline.

“You’re excused.” The girl joked and giggled again.

“There’s no way she’s your mother, she’s no way near old enough.” He argued, partially in disbelief and partially in a last ditch attempt to flatter the older woman.

“Hear that, mom? It didn’t sound like it but that was a compliment.” Nilak elbowed the Avatar lightly, speaking sarcastically and giggling again. That fake tinkling sound was starting to make the mother nervous.

“I’m not sure your father would agree.” Korra grumbled moodily into her glass, quite sure that she had gone unheard under the loud music.

“So…er… why are you ladies here all alone?” Karpok got himself back together and leaned closer to Nilak.

“To celebrate my birthday.” The girl smiled all over again, such a charming little grin that showed a hint of pearly teeth, the glint of fangs. She moved closer too, leaning back against the bar counter in a way that was both casual but also a blatant way to display her assets. “And who says we’re alone?”

“Oh. I, um, are you with…?” Suddenly he was looking around nervously and glancing at Korra, she knew what he was thinking and for a moment she actually considered using that excuse but Nilak beat her to it.

“My dad isn’t here if that’s what you’re worried about.” The girl grinned a little mischievously. “If he was this conversation would have been over long ago.”

By then Korra was truly disliking the flirtation and only allowed it because she really wanted to figure out what her daughter was trying to do with this phony seduction; she hoped the girl was just trying to prove her wrong when she said Nilak was incapable of normal social interaction because she feared the alternative was that Nilak might have taken offense for her and might be trying to defend her honor… Which didn’t bode well in the least.

“Ah. So, how old is the birthday girl?” Karpok played with a lock of her hair and Nilak began to recoil but caught herself at the last second.

“Sixteen.” Her smile was growing more and more rigid with every passing second as her impatience began to wear thin and Korra could see it.

“Sweet sixteen.” He said, in a teasing voice, completely ignoring the older woman now. “Feeling all grown up, are we?”

“You have no idea.” Nilak smirked and for once looked very much like her mother.

“Nilak, stop it.” Korra admonished, placing a hand on her daughter’s shoulder, intent on ending the charade that was making her more uncomfortable than she cared to admit.

“Come on, mom. You’re the one who said I had to leave the house and live more, you’re the one that brought me here to have fun, so let me have a little fun.” Nilak winked and sipped on her mother’s drink sassily, displaying an attitude that was completely unlike her own.

“Care to dance?” Karpok suggested rather complicity, placing an arm around the short girl’s shoulders.

Nilak appeared to grit her teeth and take a breath as if gathering some extraordinary amount of patience but a second later she was smiling again and acting politely shy. “I’m an awful dancer.”

“I’m sure I can teach a few moves.” He chuckled, now so close that Nilak felt his sweaty palm on her skin and his bitter breath on her face.

“What the...” Korra began to intrude but the girl cut her off by grabbing Karpok by the collar of his clothes and dragging him onto the dance floor.

“Alright, I guess there’s no harm in trying.” She chuckled and waved at the Avatar to back off, causing the older woman to frown and cross her arms angrily.

Korra leaned her back against the bar and gulped down the last dregs of her drink, her eyes remained glued to the dance floor were Nilak was trying very hard to keep a straight face while she allowed the flirty tomcat to hold her much to close and sweep her across the dance floor in a swirl of vivacious moves.

“Hello, beautiful.” Someone greeted playfully to Korra’s left.

She was just about to roll her eyes and give another snippy reply when her brain recognized the voice and looked at the new arrival with a scowl. “You’re late, Asami.”

The raven-head looked as beautiful as always in a high-collared salmon dress with a fishtail skirt that fanned out elegantly when she moved, and her hair, now shorter than it had ever been, was rolled into lovely wide curls that framed her perfectly made-up face. Asami parted her maroon lips to say something but she was interrupted when someone else appeared from behind her.

“I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I asked them to make a detour and come pick me up.” A slim freckled girl with a wide smile excused cheerfully and loudly, her short black hair had its spiky tips dyed lilac with her bangs covering one eye and she wore a gold trimmed teal tunic over high-waist granite colored slacks.

“Your mother changed her mind about bringing you, Biya?” Korra decided to hazard a guess.

“Yeah, let’s call it that.” The young girl laughed mischievously.

“More like B probably snuck out.” Another girl intruded on the conversation- she was shorter than Biya but not by much, she was also even skinnier but the blood red silk dress didn’t look any less fantastic because of it; her hair was sheared short on one side yet fell in luscious ebony waves to the other and despite her sharp features she wore make-up quite similar to Asami’s, though lighter and more discreet.

“Now, now, Minori.” Asami reprimanded playfully. “Let’s not make assumptions.”

“You girls look lovely.” Korra commented towards Biya and Minori before grinning at Asami. “I don’t even have to mention that you do to, as always.”

All three said their thank-yous but Biya and Minori immediately began glancing around, both looking a little antsy and curious.

“Nilak is dancing if that’s who you’re looking for.” Korra commented, this time she couldn’t resist rolling her eyes as she nodded towards the dance floor.

“The birthday girl ditched you? Is that why you’re all alone?” Asami enquired in jest while ordering a drink and taking a seat next to the Avatar.

“What the hell is she doing?” Minori sputtered once she spotted the girl in question dancing much too close to a lanky stranger.

“Minori, language.” Asami scolded more seriously but mostly out of habit and without any real bite.

“But… But mom, look!” Minori waved indignantly at the scene, growing obviously flustered and sulky. “He’s all… He’s practically glued to her.”

“Yes… Why is that, Korra?” Asami wondered, somewhat surprised herself. “And why aren’t you doing anything about it? He’s all over your little girl.”

“You’re worried about Nilak?” The Avatar scoffed. “I’m more worried about what she’s planning to do to him.”

“Not that he’s ugly or anything but how did she even agree to dance with a guy?” Biya asked, apparently more curious than alarmed. Then again Biya was never the sort to know how to read the mood in any situation.

“He was hitting on me rather aggressively and she stepped in and turned the tables before I could make a scene.” Korra summed up right before crushing an ice cube from her drink between teeth, her eyes narrowed when she saw Karpok’s hand slide down Nilak’s back to her rear.

“Oh boy…” Asami shook her head, also directing her full attention to the scene now.

“Exactly.” The Avatar replied.

“What the big deal? What’s the worst that can happen?” Biya asked, innocently and confused.

Before anyone could say anything else, it finally happened- Karpok groped Nilak and suddenly her charming laughter was gone and she moved as if offended, mid-dance twirl, causing him to trip on her foot and fall headlong onto the ground and to make matters worse, he fell chin first.

Even over the loud music the smash of the man’s jaw on the dance floor was audible and by the looks of it he had bit his tongue on impact because in a matter of seconds his mouth was flooded with blood that spewed all over the place and he was screaming in muffled manner, rolling on the ground and grabbing at his mouth as he choked in red fluid and people rushed over to help.

To the onlookers it had simply seemed like the girl had gotten rightfully upset at the man’s forwardness and flinched away, causing him to lose his balance at his own peril but Korra knew better, Nilak wasn’t the fittest person or the best dancer but she was a graceful fighter and a chi-blocker, she knew how to time the move just right in order to trip him and make it look like an accident.

Speaking of Nilak, she had managed to dodge the crowd of curious and horrified onlookers that rushed to the fallen Karpok , a moment later the girl smoothed her skirt to compose herself and walked right up her mother and friends as if nothing had happened.

“Well, things are getting pretty messy around here, aren’t they?” Nilak smiled, this time it was soft and barely-there, it was her real smile. She waved at the newcomers. “Hello, girls. Hello, aunt ‘Sami.”

Asami returned the greeting and hugged the girl while Biya and Minori waved back and chanted a ‘hi’ in unison. All three were halfway through compliments and excited wishes of happy birthday when the Avatar interrupted the chitchat.

“You did that on purpose, Nilak.” Korra admonished, she was likely being too loud but didn’t care what people thought. She was secretly proud of her daughter for standing up for herself so effectively but at the same she was rightfully upset.

“Hm? What?” The girl looked at her mother, clueless of the anger but then she picked up the vibe and glanced back at the confusion on the dance floor. “Oh, that? Of course not, he just shouldn’t have gotten grabby.” Nilak waved the matter away carelessly. “Besides, even if I did trip him on purpose, how was I to know the idiot would fall on his face and bite through his tongue? At most I expected him to bruise his own ego by falling on his butt or maybe get a little bump on his thick skull.”

“He’s seriously hurt!” The Avatar protested even though a part of her was guiltily satisfied to see the unpleasant guy go down. He really had bitten off more than he could chew, pun fully intended.

“So? It’s his own fault, if he hadn’t disrespected you I wouldn’t have had to intervene and even after I did, he had enough chances to back off and instead chose to hit on a teenage girl and get overly clingy. He was asking for it, mom.” Nilak countered with a confident calm that she had learned from an entirely different parent.

“It wasn’t your job to defend me.” Korra almost pouted but managed to retain her angry scowl instead. “Heck, it’s not even your dad’s job. I take care of myself- Avatar, remember?”

“Oh, I know you do. I just didn’t want to get kicked out on my birthday because you lost your temper and hurled a fireball at the guy in a crowded space.” The teen replied, dishonestly and with mocking sass in every syllable.

“I wouldn’t do that.” The Avatar did pout this time, refusing to acknowledge that she had been bested.

“Besides, if I didn’t do something, dad would end up finding out and then he _would_ do something and I know you wouldn’t want that.” Nilak added casually.

“It was some random idiot trying to flirt! How would your dad even hear about it? And why would he care?” The questions were rhetorical, she knew the answers- Noatak would know because Nilak always told him everything and he would act perfectly calm and composed but his protective side would end up getting the best of him and Karpok would probably show up a couple of weeks later with a look of terror in his eyes and some creative injury on his person. This was especially likely to happen lately because Noatak had been so eager to vent his recent personal frustrations through any excuse for jealousy.

“Keep telling yourself that.” The teen smirked once more and wrapped an arm around each of her friends, both of which were taller than her- Minori was trying hard not to snicker or seem cheeky and Biya was just grinning, unable to hide her pride in her best friend. “Why are you so mad anyway? You’re the one who wanted me to interact with people.”

“I didn’t mean seduce and injure random men.” Korra deadpanned.

“Hey, I still had a pretty normal conversation didn’t I? Regardless of his clumsiness, I managed to get him to dance and all so… Point proven?” Nilak smiled tentatively and mischievously.

“…Ugh.” Korra tossed her arms in the air in defeat and rolled her eyes when she found no words to snap back with.

“We probably should have a picked a different meeting point, shouldn’t we?” Asami asked, sympathetically but the Avatar was sulking too much to reply.

“So, are we going to stick around or leave? ‘Cause I like to dance as much as the next person but the mood here is kinda ruined.” Biya piped in, pointing over her shoulder at the mess on the dance floor where most of the patrons were still surrounding the injured man who, in turn, was making far too much of a spectacle out of the wound in hopes of falling into the good graces of a fair waterbender woman that tried to do some emergency healing.

“Well, this wasn’t our main stop anyway. Right, Korra?” Asami smiled, it was hard to tell what she thought of the little argument between the Avatar and Nilak but it probably amused her, the raven-head always enjoyed the frequent banter between those two, most people did.

“Right. I’m just reconsidering whether or not she deserves it now.” Korra muttered as she began to shepherd them all towards the exit while Asami finished her little cocktail and paid up.

“Don’t be a sourpuss. It’s not your style.” Nilak teased and poked her mother’s cheek playfully just as they walked out of the dance club and onto the cold dim streets of Republic City.

It was a cute but odd sight- Nilak was not a very physical person nor did she usually show so much spontaneity and excitement; despite her unusual calm and her sassy tongue, she tended to be quiet and distant and only ever interacted so bluntly and playfully with people she loved deeply and was comfortable with and not many fit those standards, not even within family.

“Yeah, you sound like uncle Tenzin.” Biya stated, letting out a loud bout of laughter. She, on the other hand, was the opposite of Nilak and would joke around and get absurdly chummy with pretty much anyone.

“Speaking of an airbender…” Asami finally caught up as they walked among the fog towards the satomobile that waited under a flickering streetlamp. “This is supposed to be a girl’s night. Weren’t Ikki, Jinora and Opal supposed to be here too?”

“And what about Malina?” Biya added with a little disappointment in her voice.

“Most of the airbenders are in the Southern Air Temple until Spring. Some big cultural event going on there.” Korra explained with a shrug and took her place in the passage seat of Asami’s ride. “And Anni and Mal are up North, celebrating the New Year with the Chiefs.”

“Wait… So Noatak is home alone with the boys and the toddler?” The raven-head sounded somewhat surprised and rather than start the vehicle she just took the driver’s seat and stared at her friend in confusion.

“No, they went out with… friends.” The Avatar’s brows lowered and the corner of her lower lip was lightly trapped between her teeth, it wasn’t truly a pout or scowl, she just looked a bit torn about how to feel.

“Liu?” Asami guessed with ease, she finally gunned the engine and began to drive out. After all, Noatak didn’t have much in the realm of friendships and the only ones likely to make Korra slightly uncomfortable were the equalists, even after all those years.

“Among others.” Korra nodded and glanced back over her shoulder, noticing that the girls were completely ignoring the conversation and simply chitchatting among themselves in quiet voices, well, quiet except for Biya’s natural loudness.

The air was filled with a strong scent of salt and bad fish, the smell of an industrialized seaside city just before rainfall, the moon was veiled by heavy threatening clouds that would rumble occasionally in the distance, the streets were shadowy with thick fog that barely let the glow of the streetlamps shine through in halos of yellow, the road and pavements were slick with moisture and the darkness between the buildings appeared almost alive.

Yet, despite the gloomy evening there was sound everywhere to drown the whistling wind and rumbling sky- the engine of satomobiles purring, people singing in the distance, music from the many establishments that had closed on New Year ’s Eve but were now open to parties and celebrations, the sound of children running around and popping little firecrackers and even the noise Spirits frolicking with their brethren, some of which were luminescent enough to be seen dancing through the fog.

“Did you ever imagine it would be like this?” Asami almost murmured the question. “The two us as responsible mommys, carpooling with teenage girls in the back seat.”

“I’ve had enough years to get used to it.” Korra shrugged as if this were their actual routine as far from reality as that was, but a smirk danced on her lips and her voice started to deliberately rise in volume. “Hard to believe, isn’t it? The famous Team Avatar with boring little brats on their heels.”

The two younger girls had just been in the process of handing Nilak birthday presents- small tokens like a meteor metal necklace and a tiny bottle of perfume- when all three teenagers picked up on the conversation.

“Hey!” Both Nilak and Minori exclaimed in mild outrage, suddenly paying attention to their mothers while Biya laughed.

“What?” The Avatar grinned in mock innocence. “Why so grumpy?”

“What do you mean what? I’m offended.” Nilak shot back with a pout.

“Hello, offended, I’m mom.” Korra replied, both she and Asami burst out laughing.

“That joke is getting so old.” Minori retorted sullenly.

“Just like they are.” Nilak added with a snarky glare at the two women.

“Hey!” This time Korra and Asami were the ones to look affronted and the two young girls shared a victorious high-five.

“This is why I love your moms, if we had this conversation with mine she’d be such a killjoy.” Biya stated between bouts of loud sputtering laughter.

“Yeah, she can be really cranky.” That Avatar snickered at the understatement and traded a complicit look with Asami.

“So where exactly are we going?” Nilak questioned, she was curious because they were turning into a part of town that was unfamiliar to her.

“Some place fun.” Korra grinned mysteriously and looked out the window before turning to Asami. “Turn right, it’s less crowded.”

The entrepreneur complied and they found themselves in an avenue with considerably less traffic but by the time they reached the end of the street Asami began to slow down and the noise of pedestrians grew a little louder, they seemed to be close to the local New Year’s festival- it was a small event compared to the solstice festivals but it lasted a whole week and brought in a lot of out-of-town visitors.

“The festival? Weren’t we supposed to go there tomorrow with the rest of the family?” Nilak inquired, slightly confused.

“We’re not going to festival.” Korra hummed the reply and nodded at the widow as Asami parked the vehicle.

“Where are we? What’s that?” Minori wondered, noticing an old tall red brick building right in front of the satomobile with a mint green banner hanging outside.

“That’s our next stop.” The Avatar and stepped, waiting expectantly for the others to follow.

“Is that…?” Minori began, trying to read the banner and the name of the establishment to confirm her suspicions. “…Karaoke?”

“Yes!” Biya practically squealed and jumped excitedly.

“…” Nilak was going to answer but trailed off before she even began and eyed the banner with a suspicious frown, it seemed to be announcing some small local singing contest that appeared to be a rather trivial event in these parts but thanks to Korra’s ominous grin it still tied knots in the girl’s stomach. “Oh no. No, no, no, I won’t do it.”

“Afraid?” The Avatar teased, leaning down just enough to be eye to eye with her daughter.

“I don’t do stages.” Nilak backed away, blushing reflexively and looking around for an escape route.

“We’ll see about that.” Korra mocked and grabbed the girl’s arm, pulling her along into the old club. She was laughing but neglected to point out the private joke- it was so ironic for the child of Amon and the Avatar to have stage fright.

The teen tried to protest but her mother wouldn’t listen and all the others seemed excited about the situation so Nilak soon surrendered, mostly to avoid being the party-pooper. Korra had guessed this would happen, she knew her daughter was just afraid of large crowds and didn’t like being in the spotlight but that didn’t mean she didn’t like trying new things or having fun, she simply needed to be pushed past her fears and the best way to do that was with her friends because Nilak would do anything to see them happy.

‘Nightingale’ was the name of the club that appeared to have been set up in a small repurposed factory; it was dim inside, the inner walls were all the same red brick as the exterior but were papered with show posters, doodles and autographed napkins and receipts, the old bar was artistically paneled with mosaic mirror, the tables all had a candle and large lotus flower centerpiece. There was slightly raised center stage that held a couple of chairs, a tiny table with a huge collection of handwritten lyrics, a tall tarnished metal microphone and a record players attached to dingy old speakers in the upper corners of the building.

The place was full, even a couple of small Spirits were snooping around attracted by the music, and all of the tables were occupied but it didn’t really take that many people to fill up the little club so it was of no surprise.

“What a pity, no tables available.” Nilak quickly grasped at the excuse, speaking much too quickly. “Oh well, maybe next time.” She turned to leave but Asami held her by the shoulder.

“Don’t you worry about that.” The raven-head smiled and waved at someone in a corner table.

The person stood up quickly and hopped around, waving so enthusiastically for attention that she might as well have climbed onto the table. She was an older tattooed woman, her chestnut hair was peppered with a few random strands of silver and rolled up into a messy knot skewered with lacquered hairsticks, she wore bright makeup, a long blinding yellow skirt with pink lotus blooms painted on it and a dyed old-fashioned purple tunic.

“Tani!” Korra rushed to the artist and hugged her tightly enough to lift the woman off the ground.

“Hello, Tani.” Asami greeted as politely as always, sharing a much softer embrace with the woman.

“You all sure took your sweet time! I thought the contest was going to start without you!” Tani teased with a huge smile on her lips, she then turned to the teenagers, appraising each of them with a nod of approval before her usual speedy chattering began. “Oh Agni, you all look so cute! Nori, I looooove that dress, you’re getting as snazzy as your mama. And Biya, lilac hair! You always go for bright flashy colors, I think it’s first time you choose lilac, right? That is so awesome! Oh and the birthday girl is looking as pretty as always, I totally love that eyeliner and the whole frizzy hair look.”

The girls all replied with chuckled thank-yous, they tried to return the compliments but Tani wouldn’t stop finding things to comment on until Korra pulled her back into her seat and ordered drinks for everyone, making sure to look the bob-haired waitress in the eye and highlight that the teens weren’t allowed to have alcohol, a necessary precaution seeing as Biya would have tried to get her hands on some merely for the thrill of rebellion. The Avatar really didn’t like having to impose restrictions though, it made her feel old and like a hypocrite considering her teen years, and she usually preferred to let the kids learn from their mistakes but she didn’t want this particular night to go haywire so she was forced to be the grown-up.

“So, whose gonna sing?” Tani snapped them all out of their ‘catching up’ talk , staring expectantly around the table.

“Not me.” Nilak announced immediately.

“Yes, you.” Korra corrected. “You said you knew how to have fun, you said you could be social. Well, here’s a great way to prove it.”

“No way in hell.” The girl retorted.

“Come on, Nil, we’ll all do it.” Biya nudged her friend with a mischievous puppy smile and Korra knew without a doubt that that look was what would break her daughter’s generally unbreakable stubbornness.

“Well…” Nilak hesitated, looking her at her friend with that torn and helplessly smitten air that the Avatar knew so well.

“It will be fun.” Minori added, trying to get some of Nilak’s attention too.

“Ok, fine. I’ll try.” Nilak caved but her eyes were still on Biya who let out a triumphant ‘yay’ and laughed happily.

“Alright, pick your songs, girls.” Tani instructed cheerfully. “I already have mine.”

“What about you, ‘Sami?” Korra enquired, quite curious.

“I’m not much of a singer.” Asami excused.

“You have to sing, aunt Korra will sing and she’s tone deaf.” Minori stated stubbornly.

“Hey!” The Avatar exclaimed indignantly but went ignored.

“Even Nilak is singing! You can’t be the only one out, mom!” The girl continued and tugged at her mother’s sleeve impatiently.

“Oh, alright.” Asami chuckled softly and turned to Korra. “How about a duet, madam Avatar? So we can ruin a perfectly good song together?”

“It would be my pleasure, madam Sato.” Korra laughed.

“Make that a threesome!” Tani exclaimed loudly but after a few seconds and several strange looks from other patrons she caught herself and blushed furiously. “Trio! Trio! I meant trio!”

The whole group burst out laughing just as the waitress came over with their drinks and handed them a beaten up old clipboard with a sheet of paper where all the participants of the contest had to write their name and song. Minori was curious as to what songs they could pick and the waitress indicated a shelf full of records in the corner of the room, stating that they could pick any song so long as the record was available.

The girls rushed over to the shelf, well, Minori and Biya did but Nilak had to get dragged over due to her misgivings about the whole idea. It took a good ten minutes for the songs to get picked out- Minori went with something relatively recent and classy, Biya picked an old song none of the others knew but was likely to turn out rowdy, as for Nilak it was somewhat more complicated.

The young waterbender listened to a great variety of music in her daily life because it gave her something akin to relief, her head always felt like it was tuned to multiple radio stations at once and that made it hard to concentrate at times, therefore music gave her a background to focus on and disconnect when everything else got too overwhelming. Add to that that she had a rather good memory which ensured she knew plenty of songs by heart so it should have been considerably easy to pick something out, yet Nilak didn’t want just any song, she sung for herself often so she knew how terribly off key she was and how limited her husky voice could be with sharp notes- if she had to make a fool of herself at least she had to choose a song that would minimize her humiliation as much as possible.

They returned to the table and filled in their choices in the little clipboard just in time for the waitress to collect it, apparently the adults had already chosen their music and weren’t the least bit worried.

Minutes later the contest was starting, the first participant was a pudgy old guy that stood like a military man in civilian clothing, he appeared to be in it for the fun more than anything else, seeing as he sang with a mug of ale in his hand and laughed when he stumbled on a note, he also laughed raucously when the music ended and he jumped back to his seat where loud friends awaited him. The pudgy gentleman was followed by a middle-age woman in pink and black with thin lips and doe-like eyes who sang in an absurdly sharp voice but somehow managed to sounds melodious.

Meanwhile Korra watched her daughter fidget nervously with her glass, answering questions automatically without truly contributing to the conversation the others were having about the music; for a moment the Avatar felt a little guilty for forcing this on the girl but she felt it was necessary, she had gone along and let Noatak hide their daughter from the rest of world for years just because of her skills but it was more than time that Nilak started to come out of that shell without being forced by a dangerous situation and, with the Spirits as her witness, Korra was going to make her daughter have fun whether she liked it or not. There was an ulterior motive too, but was personal and would come up later.

Eight songs went by, amid singers of every race, gender and age group, Tani was looking a bit drunk, not on alcohol but on excitement, she wasn’t allowed to touch anything alcoholic that night but just the prospect of jumping on stage with her most notorious friends was making the woman giddy and even more of a motor-mouth than usual. Nilak took advantage of this to put all attention on Tani while she tried to sneak away into the bathroom again but Korra caught her by the arm and gently tugged her back to her seat, placing an arm around the girl’s shoulders in a motherly gesture of encouragement, much to Minori and Biya’s amusement, both of which were snickering to no end, thus making Nilak wish she at least had Rohan to back her up as usual.

Finally, it was their turn- Biya was the first one to jump on stage without hesitation and proceeded to sing something that sounded suspiciously like a shameless sea shanty but was upbeat and cheerful, she was surprisingly lyrical but much too loud. Nonetheless, the crowd cheered and applauded, the old pudgy man and his friends actually sang along from their seats and Nilak let out a tiny little sigh and smiled a little more than usual while she watched her friend sing and dance erratically on stage.

“Now’s the time you applaud, Nini.” Korra whispered in her daughter’s ear to snap her out of that daze. Biya was done singing and was bowing to the crow that clapped enthusiastically but Nilak had been staring so dreamily that for a moment she had forget to react, she had even forgotten her own nervousness.

“Huh? Oh, right.” The girl quickly began applauding and her anxiety returned threefold when she saw Biya step down and walk towards them, clapping hands with Minori in a mock tag as the latter headed to the stage and the former took her seat again. “That was great, B.”

Biya agreed excitedly, she was still talking about what a rush the experience had been when a new tune silenced her- the music was slow but powerful, it was simple and seductive and little Minori was standing imposingly on stage, snapping her fingers in time with the beat and smiling mysteriously.

Korra had been expecting another playful or awkward song but when Minori uttered the first verse into the microphone, jaws dropped- when she spoke freely her voice was a bit too deep and had lately begun to hiccup awkwardly in pitch but when Minori sang that voice turned a few octaves higher and softer into a sultry tone that, although still tinted with childish innocence, worked perfectly in her favor even for such a seductive song.

Minori also had poise and confidence; she shined in that maroon dress, swishing in one hand the ends of the sun-patterned scarf that Nilak had once given to her and that she wore on special occasions. By the time the song was over, the crowd was asking for an encore and Asami was standing up and whistling as well as applauding in a very public display of maternal pride.

With brightly flushed cheeks and a goofy grin, Minori rejoined their table, feeling a little embarrassed but clearly puffed up with pride for having been able to get so much rare attention from her mother.

Korra tried to pushed Nilak into going next but she shrunk into her seat and said she’d rather go last, if it had been any other person the Avatar might have thought she felt intimidated by Minori’s performance but she knew Nilak was just trying to gain as much time as possible to get used to the idea of the stage, so Korra grabbed her two friends and practically hauled them to the microphone.

There was a brief moment of silence when they took their places, they weren’t the first set of people to sing in a group but the crowd was suddenly staring and starting to whisper in hushed voices and the music didn’t begin right away as it should because the person in charge was gawking as well. Korra was just about to ask Asami if the latter knew what was going on when she picked up on a fragment of a whisper and it all made sense.

“…Avatar and Sato…” The disembodied mutter said almost incomprehensibly. Korra almost began to laugh again, she knew she should be used to being recognized by now but sometimes it still caught her off guard.

“Hey, where’s our music, buddy?” The Avatar demanded towards the dark gangly man responsible for the record player- he snapped out of his daze and hastily went about his job until the first crackly notes of the song began to sound through the speakers.

The trio sang the chorus together but they each sang a verse alone, the tune ended up being a hit mostly for its hilarity- Tani was loud, too fast and brutally off-key, Korra couldn’t hit sharper notes and took liberties with the lyrics but was still incredibly good after years of singing to her kids, unfortunately she got just a tiny bit too passionate and rowdy, and Asami had a lovely voice but she didn’t quite have the pace to keep up with the rhythm and would end up laughing whenever she got lost because of it. However, they were all cheerful and somehow managed to make the song work despite their individual flaws so by the end of it there was both laughter and applause from the audience.

And then it was Nilak’s turn and by the look on her face she was considering dropping out altogether. Korra wouldn’t let that happen, as she and the others headed back to their table she told Nilak to take her place and when the girl tried to refuse, the Avatar picked up her daughter over her shoulder and carried the teen to the stage before backing away with a grin despite all the giggling and murmuring of the crowd.

Nilak swallowed dryly and clenched her fingers around the cold shiny metal rod that held the microphone, the girl closed her eyes when the music started to play and took a slow deep breath, when she opened them again she realized that it wasn’t really so bad- because of the spotlight she couldn’t see the crowd all that well and the faster she did this the faster she could leave.

It was faint at first, Nilak’s voice came out so hesitantly that some people in the back actually thought she had missed her cue, but after a couple more verses without any booing she had gained enough confidence to sing as she always did when alone, fully aware that she was just as terrible at high notes as her mother but intent on not going off-key for once.

Unlike most of the tunes of the night, Nilak’s music itself was the opposite of a love song though it was just as alluring as Minori’s and just as powerful as Biya’s and by the time Nilak finished, the crowd was so silent that she grew nervous and gave the tiniest of bows before rushing off stage and trying to avoid the pop and flash of photographs that had assaulted previous singers. Only then did people appear to snap out of it and began to applaud and cheer.

“Why in the world would you pick something so… So…” Korra struggled to find the right word though she was still applauding her daughter.

“Blunt?” Asami offered though she seemed to approve of the tune.

“Creepily sexy?” Suggested Tani enthusiastically.

“More like intimidating and hot.” Minori corrected, blushing once again in the most endearing manner.

“Yeah, well, near the end at least.” Biya pointed out with a teasing grin. “We could barely hear the beginning.”

“At least I didn’t shout half the lyrics.” Nilak retorted in the same teasing tone even though her face was burning and she was anxious to change the subject, she chose to pour her attention into her drink once more, trying to will her cheeks into cooling.

The remark prompted the group to start comparing performances, except for Korra who settled with bumping shoulders with her daughter and smiling approvingly, she then leaned closer and murmured for Nilak’s ears only.

“I knew you could do it. I’m proud.” The Avatar chuckled as the girl appeared to shrink further over her soda, cheeks aflame and crimson as a Fire Nation banner.

Nilak muttered something akin to gratitude and leaned closer with a secretive smile.

Not long after, amid more drinks and cheerful banter, Tani let slip that the night wasn’t over yet and something big was to come, Minori immediately began prying and throwing guesses but Korra effectively gagged her artistic friend to make sure the surprise wouldn’t be spoiled.

Nilak had just about recovered from the nerves of the stage when the practical waitress that had handled their orders climbed on stage to announce the winners of the contest, it wasn’t a huge deal, from what they picked up there was a sing-off like this during every major holiday but there were prizes so people got excited nonetheless.

Third place went to forty-something lady in a plum dress and hair dyed auburn and coiffed in rivulets, she had sung a sunny little love song and did indeed deserve her prize. Second place shocked everyone because it went to none other than Minori who jumped onto stage and gratefully accepted the title but chose to donate the tiny money prize back to the club. Lastly, first prize went to a duet couple, the male had a deep resounding baritone that complemented his partner’s powerful soprano to perfection and their song had been the best by a landslide.

Despite the awards, Korra, Asami and Tani got just as much attention as the first place winners simply for being celebrities, the former two at least, and Nilak received an honorable mention on the club wall for her own performance even though she would have preferred if everyone had forgotten she was there, it’s not that she didn’t like the praise and recognition, she simply disliked the sudden mob of people surrounding her with interest and making her uncomfortable with the proximity and intrusive touches.

Melodious ambience music still played in the background, filling the air with lyrical voices and sounds that strummed at one’s body like invisible hands caressing the senses. People came for the contest yet stayed for the mood, the dancing, the interaction.

Their group lingered after the attention of the karaoke had died out, Biya wasted very little time finding a spot on the dance floor and displayed all that raw and almost luminous energy that was characteristic of her, Tani soon joined so that the girl wouldn’t have to dance alone but also because the artist was just as energized.

Minori politely invited Nilak to dance, the latter was reluctant but Korra kept nudging her and telling her to go and enjoy it so she did- the two danced across the room with surprising grace despite the fast improvised movements made up on the spot.

Eventually Asami and Korra looked at each other and shrugged, before long they were joining the rest and dancing to their hearts’ content. The beat eventually shifted and dance partners were switching around until Asami and Minori were locked in a perfectly trained choreography, laughing at some private joke between them; Korra ended up teaching Tani some moves she had picked up from Noatak and Nilak found herself hand in hand with Biya while the latter kept making joking remarks about the contest.

The young waterbender could feel her cheeks aflame once more but gave that faint little smile and let nothing show, her heart was a drum against her ribs yet nobody could tell by the way she held Biya’s hands and followed in wild twirls and silly shimmies just to keep up with her freckled friend who couldn’t stop grinning and making more foolish comments, this time about how Nilak was getting old; the latter drank up every word, she laughed when prompted and let Biya dip in an overused dance step. She loved every second, for once she couldn’t care less that the room was full of excited strangers, nosy onlookers and unknown heartbeats crawling on her skin, this time only her airheaded best friend mattered.

Nilak was almost disappointed when the song changed rhythm and the groups swapped partners again, her disappointment turned into plain old fashioned embarrassment when she found herself in her mother’s arms. Korra herself just chuckled at the girl’s discomfiture, happy to milk the situation for every drop of daughterly embarrassment there was to inflict; they moved automatically with steps more apropos to bending than music, yet it was lithe and pleasing nonetheless.

“Having fun now?” The Avatar asked, happy the vague smile and the flush on Nilak’s skin hadn’t faded thus far.

“Maybe I am.” The girl pretended to look away nonchalantly but could barely repress the self-conscious smile.

“Told you so.” Korra mocked and twirled the young waterbender with exaggerated enthusiasm.

“Why dancing though? Why music?” Nilak wondered, letting her mother lead the ludicrous moves.

The Avatar watched her daughter, held her up by the waist in a silly half spin that Noatak always did to her when they danced, she was considering how to reply because she wasn’t sure of the answer herself but when Nilak kept staring at her expectantly she finally said- “…Singing and dancing are a traditional coming-of-age thing in the Water Tribe.”

“So, this is part of some improvised adapted ceremony?” The girl chuckled at the hare-brained scheme.

“You could say that.” Korra grinned sheepishly, aware of how half-baked it seemed to replace tribal traditions with city nightlife.

She didn’t believe it was that odd though, even the in the poles themselves things were no longer celebrated that conservatively in the first place, the world was constantly evolving and therefore even the most conventional traditions evolved with it, only the purists and those who lived in more rural areas still followed such traditions without adapting them somehow.

“In that case, what’s next?” Nilak asked after few more dizzying twirls that made her absurdly long hair fly all over the place.

“You sure you’re ready for that?” The Avatar teased, dragging out the suspense.

“Who do you think you’re talking to? I am the Avatar’s daughter, ma’am, I’m always ready for anything.” The young waterbender bowed mockingly.

“Oh really?” Korra smirked, she didn’t notice she had stopped dancing altogether until she saw that the girl had stopped too.

“You should know, you raised me that way.” Nilak poked her mother’s chest to emphasize each word, she could feel a change in the playful atmosphere between them.

“I did, didn’t I?” The Avatar replied nostalgically, she then took her daughter’s hand and gently tugged her away from the dance floor. “Come with me for a bit.”

“Ok…” Nilak was a little confused, especially when they completely bypassed their table and ended up sneaking out the back door.

About a minute later they were sitting over old massive deep-rooted Spirit vines that grew all over the alley behind the factory-turned-dance club, the sentient plants seemed to have taken over half of the ancient crumbling neighborhood but, from what they could witness through the fog, life had flourished all around the little Spirit wild.

Korra soon became strangely quiet watching tiny glowing dandelion Spirits float with the misty breeze, she traced her fingers along the rough surface the vine distractedly, a thoughtful look stamped on her face.

“What’s up, mom?” Nilak decided to break the ice, a little nervous over the sudden uncharacteristic silence. “Did I do something wrong? You’re starting to scare me.”

“No, no, it’s nothing like that.” Korra shook her head, she gave her daughter a warm caring smile and leaned back on her hands. “Nilak… You know I’m proud of you, don’t you?”

“What are you talking about?” The girl looked a little stumped, she tilted her head and watched her mother with curiosity.

“We argue a lot and I don’t always approve of your actions but I want you to know you’ve always made me proud, you’ve always managed to impress me with every step you take.” The Avatar still spoke in the same earnest tone but she seemed more serious, like she was trying to make an important point.

Nilak was nervous, her mother wasn’t one to talk her like this and act this way about her feelings, not to mention that the timing felt strange and a little foreboding, considering their history this made Nilak disproportionately nervous. She hesitated to reply but attempted to sound composed- “…What’s up with the sudden sappiness, mom?”

“You’re sixteen. That might not be worth much in the United Republic in this day and age but in the Water Tribe you’d be an adult now and I…” Korra trailed off, sighing softly under her breath.

“You what?” The girl leaned closer, trying to catch her mother’s gaze.

“I wanted to apologize.” The answer blurted out awkwardly.

“Why the hell would you need to apologize?” Nilak frowned, confused and trying to remember if there was any recent argument that could warrant this reaction.

“Nilak, listen to what I have to say.” Korra requested meekly. “Please?”

“Of course.” The young bender agreed, still frowning a little with concern. She watched the Avatar nod in return and take a deep breath.

“I could blame it all on me being way too young when you came into my life, I can blame it all on my duties as Avatar but that doesn’t change the fact that there were times you needed me and I wasn’t there, sometimes I didn’t even try to be. Those things don’t make my absences and moments of neglect any easier, they also don’t justify all the times you were in danger because of me, all the times I just passed you over to your father and turned my back, or all the fights we had because I was too stubborn and immature to try to understand you.”

Korra paused, she had to inhale another shaky breath and shut her eyes to dispel whatever display of emotion threatened to interrupt the speech, she clenched her fists and put on her strong face, her Avatar face. Nilak stayed silent, aware that her mother wasn’t done yet and simply listening, taking in the immensity of those words, those actions that were taboo to mention in their happily dysfunctional home.

“I know I messed up a lot in the past, in some ways even more than you know, in fact I probably still do. And I’m aware that in being responsible for the world I’m often irresponsible towards you… But you’re my baby, you’re a piece of me, a little life that grew inside me and has shaped my path ever since and made me so much stronger.”

“Mom…” Nilak began when the woman appeared to choke up for a moment but the Avatar raised her hand to cut her off.

“It’s a special day… I mean, yesterday should have been the special day but you know how that always goes. That’s my fault too, making your birthday a danger to our family is entirely my fault too, but we’re here and we’re safe, and you’re sixteen and I just…

I just wanted to say that I love you and before I become obsolete to you I wanted you to know that I’ll always be a part of your life, I’ll always be there when you call and despite all our bickering I couldn’t possibly be prouder of my Nini.” Korra smiled, it was shaky and her eyes stung and looked suspiciously bright.

“Oh…” The girl didn’t know what to say, she was drawing a blank because all the things those words brought up, all the emotions she should be feeling, were still bubbling up and hadn’t yet pierced through the shock. She opted for humor instead, trying to ease the tension- “Wow, mom, that was _so_ corny.”

“It was, wasn’t it?” The woman laughed and swiped at her eyes rapidly before looking at her daughter again. “Doesn’t make it any less true though.”

“I… Hm…” Nilak swallowed nervously and began to fidget with the edges of her top, her breath was coming a bit short and she felt like there was a dam about to burst under pressure in her chest but she had no idea how to put all that in words. “Mom…”

“You can be honest.” Korra encouraged, she looked like a person bracing herself for the worst. “Woman to woman. Go ahead.”

“I love you too, mom, I always have…” The girl trailed off, looking at the cracked ground beneath the vine they sat on.

“But…?”

“After… When I was a kid, there was a time I didn’t trust you because I was afraid you’d leave and never come back, I didn’t want to be rejected, I was afraid the needs of the world would matter more to you than we did…”

Nilak swallowed convulsively, so many unsaid words were stuck in her throat without any logic transition or relation between them and she had no idea if she could stop herself from saying something inappropriate but Korra didn’t interrupt, she just waited and the longer Nilak delayed the harder it got, the cold air felt almost sticky thick between them and before she consciously understood what she was doing the girl was rambling:

“Sometimes I feel like you take me for granted, a lot of the time actually, and I don’t mind, I’m glad that I can be useful, I’m glad I’m not a nuisance but I want you to be proud too, I want you to look at me and feel pride rather than just unconditional love, I want you to be able to brag about me instead of making excuses for me, I just want you to see me for me and I want you to like what you see even if it doesn’t fall into your ideals or tastes.

Yes, we fight lot, I’m constantly challenging you but not because I don’t like you. I do it because I’m always afraid that if I don’t speak up you’ll forget I’m there, and because I want you the see the world from different angles, from my angle, before you jump into things that might hurt you… I don’t want to lose you, mom.”

Nilak had always been good with keeping a lid on her emotions and hiding her true thoughts, always being unbiased, polite and well-liked was important to her because everything else about her was anything but normal, yet as hard as she tried not to crack up, the tears won and streaked down her face unbidden. She had to rub them away before her stupid eyeliner smudged all over the place but somehow they just wouldn’t stop.

And yet Nilak still found herself comforting the powerful woman before by saying simply- “You’re not obsolete to me, you never will be, I’m always going to need my mama.”

“You better.” The Avatar joked but her voice cracked and when Nilak looked her in the eye again the girl saw that her mother was swiping at tears and sniffing back sobs. “You big baby, look at what you’re doing to me! You’re worse than your father.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Nilak asked, wiping away more tears even though she was smiling.

“That silver tongue of yours, always choosing exactly the right words to make me cry.” Korra accused, laughing brokenly. “It’s an awful talent.”

“Oh shut up and hug me already. You’re dying to do it.” The teen stuck her tongue out cheekily, more glittery droplets pooled in her periwinkle eyes and Korra ended up pulling her daughter into a hug that was much too tight simply so they wouldn’t have to see each other cry and could preserve a little dignity.

“Nilak…” The Avatar murmured after a minute long embrace during which they tried to compose themselves. “I don’t take you for granted, I might act that way but I cherish you and never once have I not been grateful for everything you are and everything you do. I never forget you’re there, Nilak. You always have a permanent spot on my mind.”

“Damn it, mom! That’s not fair.” Nilak protested, suddenly crying and hiccupping again, referring to how Korra had waited until she had started to calm down to drop that emotional bomb on her.

The Avatar laughed, it sounded happy and kind despite the boisterous resonance, it was a sound that Nilak would often imagine in her head when she woke up frightened and need help to fall back asleep, it was Nilak’s idea of a safety and calm, that and the deep rumbling sound of her father humming little tunes to her in the dark.

Somehow they ended up laughing together, wiping each other’s tears in a way that only a mother and daughter can do without feeling silly. After that they merely sat in silence for a few minutes, all the commotion had attracted some harmless little Spirits that were snooping around and Nilak took those moments to watch, mesmerized, as her mother assuaged the little peaceful beings and sent each on its way as if they were all longtime friends of hers, such a thing had always fascinated the girl because Spirits had a habit of avoiding her at all costs unless the Avatar was around.

“So… The others are probably getting worried by now.” Nilak pointed out casually.

“Right.” Korra nodded and then, with a smug grin, asked- “Ready for the last surprise?”

“What is it?” The girl’s curiosity was peaked.

“If I told you it wouldn’t be a surprise.” The Avatar snickered wickedly.

“But you went out of your way to tell me there was one just to rile me up.” Nilak accused, rolling her eyes at the petty game.

“What can I say? It’s fun.” Korra shrugged and, in one fluid move, jumped right off the massive vine and onto the ground.

With much more cautious steps, Nilak followed by sliding down and they both walked back inside the club where the music seemed to have gotten louder and the energy was so wired that even some waitresses were dancing with customers. Biya spotted their return and announced it, loudly, to the rest of group, gesturing for he Avatar and her daughter to join the fun but Korra signaled for the group to come to her instead.

“Time to go?” Asami guessed, she looked a little flushed from dancing but was otherwise as elegantly composed as always.

“Yup.” Korra glanced at Tani, who was collecting everyone’s things at the table. “You didn’t let Tani drink, did you?”

“Not unless berry pop counts.” The entrepreneur chuckled softly.

“It’s time, right?” Just then Tani joined them with a huge complicit grin. “I’m kinda excited.”

“Yeah, well, don’t spoil the surprise.” Korra reprimanded as she reached the bar to pay the tab.

Asami beat her to it and paid up before the Avatar could object, it was game they had been playing for years- seeing who could reach the till faster to pay, whoever lost had to handle the tip which Korra did this time, she handed a folded yuan bill to the bartender and another to their waitress.

Meanwhile Minori and Biya badgered Tani, hoping she would slip up about what came next, Nilak just watched quietly though she secretly wished the artist would slip up and confess; they didn’t manage to get anything out of her before Korra returned to usher everyone to the satomobile.

The fog was denser now, the rumbling of thunder had returned and the air felt almost as thick as soup but it hadn’t rained yet, nonetheless everyone was eager to get way from the threat of a downpour; Tani appeared to have been dropped off so she had to cram into Asami’s vehicle with the others, luckily it was big enough for everyone and in no time at all they were on their merry way.

Minori kept trying to guess where they were going but it proved unnecessary, five minutes after they crossed Kyoshi Bridge, everyone recognized where they were heading- towards a certain little shop just beyond the downtown shopping area.

The Serendipity Ink Parlor looked exactly the same as Korra remembered it from the first time she came across it almost sixteen years prior, the only exceptions were that some stores around it had changed and the art exhibited on the front window was new and nothing like the things from back then, the canvas over the shop was also worn, washed out and getting ragged but that didn’t seem to affect the business in the least.

Asami stopped right in front of the store, rain had started to drizzle when they were halfway across the bridge so it was wise to park as close to the destination as possible. Biya was under the impression that they were just dropping Tani off but when all three older women got out of the satomobile and headed inside, the girls followed hastily and filled with curiosity, half-expecting to find some huge gift box or surprise party inside… But the store was the same as always although that still meant it was the furthest thing from boring.

“Can I ask what exactly are we doing here? Or does that ruin the surprise too?” Nilak wondered out loud, running her fingers through the bead curtain that separate the outer room from the inside of the establishment, she remembered dangling on those beads as child several times over.

“That _is_ the surprise.” Korra responded with a sneaky grin and wrapped an arm around her daughter’s shoulders.

Nilak watched her mother’s smile and then looked around the store for moment, processing her thoughts before she let out a suspicious guess- “…I’m going to get tattooed, aren’t I?”

“Ding, ding, ding! We have a winner!” Tani announced cheerfully, she had just begun burning some incense and was in the process of reaching for a massive binder on one of the top shelves behind the counter.

“Seriously?” The young waterbender’s eyebrows shot up slightly, giving her inquisitive expression a surprised edge. “Why?”

“What’s the number one coming of age symbol of the Water Tribe?” Korra quizzed playfully.

“…Tattoos.” Nilak replied cautiously, understanding and skepticism was morphing into barely contained excitement. “Since when are we traditional though?”

“Nini, look…Your dad and I never got ours- he left home just before he came of age and I was too busy training to hone my skills as Avatar that I was never really allowed to get involved with community rituals… And then I ran away too and lost my chance.” Korra explained with a regretful smile. “I wanted to give you the chance to honor your roots and have what we didn’t.”

“Is dad ok with this?” The girl looked highly suspicious now, and she was right to be, seeing as her father could often be a tad too overprotective. Nilak also chose to ignore her friends’ excited little squeals in the background.

“Let me worry about that.” The Avatar retorted, smirking ominously for a second but then the smirk melted into a nervous smile and she backtracked as if something had suddenly occurred to her. “You don’t have to go through with this if you don’t want to, I’d be proud if you did but there’s no pressure.”

Nilak’s eyes narrowed at her mother, Korra thought she might be feeling pressured but the girl was just having trouble believing the situation she was in; though she certainly liked the idea immensely, Nilak just couldn’t help being cautious.

“…You’re really letting me get a tattoo?” The waterbender inquired, still disbelieving.

“Yup.” Korra nodded enthusiastically and fully sincere.

“What sort of tattoo?” Nilak tested the waters further, hoping she’d get to choose what she wanted. She had already been harboring ideas for tattoos for several years, partially because often in her childhood she got babysat in that very store by the resident tattoo artists but also, in part, because of a particularly inspiring piece of art inked on her mother’s thigh.

“Tani?” Korra glanced at the artist, directing everyone’s attention to the older woman.

“Well, there’s a bunch of appropriate traditional designs you can adapt to your liking. And since your mom is from the South Pole and your dad is from the North Pole, you actually get a lot more variety to choose from.” Tani explained everything professionally but with barely contained excitement, she then popped open the massive binder she had retrieved that seemed to be filled with tattoo designs and turned it towards Nilak. “Here you go.”

“Yeah but, like you said, since when have we been traditional?” Korra added for good measure, chuckling as the girl began to skim through the designs. “If you want you can pick something else that’s more meaningful to you, it’s the ritual and the significance itself that matters, not the design.”

“Can I get a minute to think?” Nilak requested anxiously, she was a very indecisive person and hated being pressured.

“You can have all the time you need.” The Avatar assured and proceeded to pull up a chair to the counter so the girl could sit and go through all the designs leisurely.

“Tea, anyone? Chintak make cookies and cake this morning.” Tani spoke to everyone, giving Nilak the necessary privacy while everyone else gathered around in the main room, sitting on pillows and waiting for the tea.

“So why are we here too?” Minori finally spoke, the tone of her voice was devious and hopeful. “Can we also…?”

“Don’t even think about it. You’re not Water Tribe and you’re not even fourteen yet, don’t get any bright ideas.” Asami cut the question down before it was even out completely. Rather than argue, Minori merely pouted and appeared to sulk until the cookies arrived to distract her.

“I’m almost sixteen!” Biya intervened, even more hopeful than her friend. “And I’m a quarter Water Tribe.”

“Yeah, I don’t think that’s ever going to happen.” Tani stated apologetically but could not avoid laughing softly and patting the freckled girl’s head. “Your mom nearly arrested me for the piercings you just had to have so I think I’ll wait for her approval before tampering with you again.”

“Scaredy cat.” Biya made a face at the artist but didn’t sulk, she took it all playfully.

“Then why are we here?” Minori wondered through a mouthful of bluebeet cookies with buttercream filling.

“It’s another thing about a girl’s coming-of-age in the Poles. She’s supposed to have her best girlfriends and female relatives with her as part of the experience.” Korra explained everything casually and sipped on a steaming cup of dark golden red tea that Tani was serving. “Technically my mom and Aga should be here too… And maybe Eska… But all things considered with such a scattered family, we’re lucky to have such a big group.”

“So, we’re here to be part of the experience and for moral support.” Minori summed up.

“Maybe _you_ are, I’m here to watch Nilak get poked repeatedly with a bundle of needles.” Biya laughed mischievously, speaking unnecessary loud to get the waterbender’s attention.

“Shut up! Don’t make me regret this!” Nilak snapped back, whining a little. She didn’t need to be reminded of her fear of needles before such an exciting event.

Everyone snickered and laughed at the interaction but were soon focused on the snacks and engrossed in conversation. Minori and Biya kept tossing hints about wanting tattoos too throughout the talk but mostly the group just kept trading guess about what would look good on Nilak while Tani and Korra explained about the significance of tattoos in the Water Tribe culture; the Avatar knew a lot because it was her culture after all but, surprisingly enough, Tani actually knew even more about the traditions seeing as her longtime partner was of Water Tribe descent and it was part of their job to know these things for the sake of artistic accuracy.

As much as the two younger teenagers were itching to sit with Nilak and help her pick, they knew her well enough to know that their interference would just make her more conflicted and indecisive, plus they had ended up in awkward arguments in the past because Nilak preferred to make her decisions alone so when Biya began snooping and trying to comment, Minori shoved a piece of cake in the freckled girl’s mouth and opted for the two of them to respect the waterbender’s privacy unless she asked for their opinions.

When the cookies ran out and the cake started to dwindle, Tani got them some sweet rice dumplings and salty treats like spiced nuts and seaweed crackers. Asami took the liberty of fiddling with the radio until she found a music station and the chatter continued until Korra finally decided to check on her daughter.

“Seen anything you like yet?” The Avatar enquired, Tani had followed her too and looked over the girl’s shoulder.

“Hm… Kinda?” Nilak spoke hesitantly, she was a bit annoyed that she hadn’t found what she wanted and only liked one design that was hardly appropriate. “I’m not sure… Plus I don’t think you’ll approve… Or dad for that matter.”

“Show me.” Korra requested and watched Nilak hold up the binder, it was open on a page where a rather large, complex and intricate design lay out flatly.

“Oh that one! It’s a shoulder cover with a twist at the back of the neck.” Tani appraised, pointing at different areas to explain their strange shape. “Pretty ambitious for a first tattoo. More on the masculine side too.

“And big.” Asami pointed out, glimpsing the artwork from afar. “Really big.”

“I know.” Nilak nodded with a sigh, it was the most approximate she found from her little mental project but it wasn’t perfect nor was it practical, she needed more time to consider this. “I like it except for some things I’d change but… Yeah, in the end it’s still big.”

“I don’t mind the size, Nini. I just don’t want you to bite off more than you can chew.” Korra grimaced, clearly biting her tongue against the choice.

“What if she regrets it later?” Asami posed the question towards Korra more than anyone else, apparently was trying to make a point for Minori’s sake.

“You don’t regret ritual tattoos, Asami. You can get tired of them but not regret them, they’re a milestone, a celebration of something bigger than ink, a matter of cultural pride.” The Avatar explained as if it the most obvious thing in the world. “Besides, even if she gets tired of it later, she has to live with the choice, that’s what being an adult is about- living with the consequences of our choices. It’s a life lesson as well as a tradition.”

“Ok, ok, I was just asking.” Asami defended, choosing to ignore Minori’s sneaky little victorious grin.

“Well?” Korra her attention back to her daughter.

“Hm…” Nilak turned the pages again, she was certain she had skimmed through every design already but nothing felt perfect until…

A particular drawing appeared to be crammed in the back of a very heavy design, she had missed it because it was a simple sketch on the back of another piece rather than a part of the collection.

“No, wait.” Nilak held the page, staring at the incomplete drawing for a few seconds before she nodded and poked the design. “This, definitely this.”

“Why that? Isn’t kind of boring?” Korra examined the artwork- it looked like an armband and was fairly simple and very familiar…

“More like kind of perfect.” Asami countered in awe.

“Right?” Nilak grew more excited but the Avatar was still confused.

“Can’t you see it, Korra?” Asami gave her friend a pointed look and quirked her brow at the Avatar until something clicked in the latter’s memory.

With a start, Korra realized that the design looked almost identical to the armband she had worn on and off for several years until she gave up on it and tossed it in a river one fateful day many years before.

That particular accessory had been made by Katara and presented to her when Korra mastered waterbending completely, she didn’t understand why would Nilak connect to it, it couldn’t be nostalgia over Korra’s armlet because the girl would had been too young to remember the Avatar wearing it but it also seemed too coincidental that Nilak would pick precisely that simple drawing, especially when the piece she had been leaning towards moments earlier was large and complex- the exact opposite.

“Why this one?” Korra asked again, hoping to understand.

“I don’t know.” Nilak shrugged but smile more confidently. “It just feels right.”

“Are you sure, Nilak?” The Avatar insisted.

“Yes!” The girl retorted, fully at ease now.

“Ok, if you’re completely sure then get over here and let’s draw this up where you want it.” Tani finally interjected and coached Nilak into the other room.

They started by making some little minor changes to the drawing, Nilak wanted it in arches rather than all sharp angles, the borders were modified as well but in the overall all the modifications were very minor and decided in less than a minute. The girl also chose her right bicep for the ink and once again Korra wondered if it really was coincidence.

The Avatar watched her daughter grow bashful when she removed her top, it was too form fitting to simply roll up a sleeve and work comfortably so the whole thing had to go but Nilak wasn’t at ease that exposed, not even when the only people there were some of the most beloved women in her life, not when there was pudginess on her belly, an ill-fitting too-tight bra and the occasional strange scar in awkward places. Still, the girl endured stoically, without giving away her discomfort.

The Avatar had never been able to empathize very much with the sort of embarrassment and low self-esteem that were typical of her daughter, or of most teenage girls to be frank, the only times she remembered feeling anything even close to being uncomfortable in her own skin were during and a few months after each of her pregnancies, yet throughout most of her teenage years she had been so proud and confident that it was hard to put herself in Nilak’s shoes. It was also worth mentioning that she couldn’t really see any physical flaws in her daughter, scars were like medals of bravery to Korra and body shape never really mattered that much to her and in the end she could only see qualities in the girl, even the non-physical flaws that she often teased her daughter about were unimportant, she just wished she could make Nilak see them as equally unimportant, she just wished Nilak could see what she saw, maybe then the girl would stop feeling like she needed to be more than she was in order to be liked.

The first jab of the needle pulled Korra away from her straying thoughts because Nilak flinched almost violently, however, the waterbender promised it had just been the sight of the ink drenched needles that had startled her and that the pain wasn’t a bother. Tani was skeptical but tried another cautious poke or two, she only truly began to work when she was sure that Nilak wouldn’t move again and she didn’t, the girl remained perfectly still and controlled, much to Biya’s growing disappointment.

The younger teens ended up sitting around Nilak and talking about tattoos to distract her and keep her from looking at the source of her illogical fears, Korra found it endearing and even though Asami was clearly not liking Biya’s attempts to convince both her friends to get matching piercings the entrepreneur still seemed to agree that what the girls were trying to do was cute.

“Kinda makes you feel old watching them grow up so fast, doesn’t it?” Korra commented for Asami’s ears only.

“You mean it makes _you_ feel old.” The raven-head chuckled as she teased her friend.

“Me? Nah, you’re the oldest in our group.” The Avatar countered sneakily.

“Correction- the oldest is the one in your bed every night.” Asami grinned and watched her friend stare with lips half-parted, struggling to find a comeback.

“…Ok, I’ll give you that one.” Korra surrendered at last with a slight pout that hid her desire to laugh. She then relaxed in into her seat, slouching slightly, and watched her daughter chat with her friends and Tani who seemed to be enjoying her work.

“You’ve done a good job, Korra.” Asami put in after a few quiet moments between the two.

“Hm?” The Avatar was a little stumped and her gaze shifted back to her friend again.

“Today is Nilak’s day but it’s yours too, it’s another little victory. Nilak, the twins, Shikou… They’re all wonderful and it’s thanks to the person who brought them into this world. You were always so scared you’d ruin them but you did a great job.” The entrepreneur explained with a proud little smile dancing around the corners of her lips just as she nodded towards Nilak. “I mean, look at her. You have to have done _something_ right.”

“I could have done better.” The tone was unpreoccupied and even playful but the sincerity was a little saddening, Korra no longer felt so awful about her shortcomings, not after talking to Nilak that very night, but she was still convinced that she should have done more and if she could go back in time she certainly would.

“We all could, every parent feels that way because we all make mistakes, it’s a learning experience for us as much as it is for them. I don’t think you realize how well you did, I don’t think you’re reminded of it often enough.” Asami countered, now so serious that her jade eyes practically reflected fortitude as well as admiration.

“Thank you, ‘Sami.” The Avatar smiled and gave her friend a one-armed hug.

Tani was halfway through the tattoo when Asami stood to go make more tea, every one of the present people were well acquainted with the shop and the apartment above it so it didn’t take long for the raven-head to return with more of the steaming beverage. By then Minori seemed to be in awe of her friend and kept asking the young waterbender if she wanted anything while Biya was practically hovering over Tani and repeatedly asking Nilak if it still hurt, to which the latter would continuous reply that yes, it did, but her skin had become numb enough that the vibration had become the worst part.

When the tattoo was finished, Korra was called over to heal as Chintak had already taught her years before, the artist himself had learned the technique from his Northern grandfather and it was one of the reasons why ‘Serendipity’ was one of the most popular tattoo parlors in the United Republic. Healing a tattoo had to be done very superficially so that the bleeding would stop but the healing process could be divided into two or three sessions throughout a week or two given that healing the whole thing at once just ensured that the ink wouldn’t sink fully into the skin.

Once that part was over too, Nilak finally risked looking at her new acquisition, Tani even brought over a mirror to allow a full view; the girl went silent for a long minute as she examined the design and poked lightly at her own reddened skin to trace just outside the ink. At first Korra thought she might having second thoughts but it soon because clear that Nilak was just in awe of the beautiful and very permanent artwork.

Tani appeared to be antsy and eager for feedback but Nilak was only snapped from her thoughts when the artist actually spoke up and then suddenly the girl was hugging her and telling her that it was perfect and she would cherish that mark forever. Korra agreed that it looked great and helped her daughter put her top back on.

The evening should have ended there, they should have all gone back home but it was raining and thundering outside and nobody wanted to leave just yet because it was so rare to have just the girls together so instead they gathered in the store’s main room turned living area and got cozy, sitting together drinking tea while Minori insisted on feeding Nilak the last bits of cake, claiming that the latter’s arm must be too sore to possibly accomplish the task alone, it was a lousy excuse but it worked and they all ended up laughing it off and snacking together.

Meanwhile, Asami managed to find a radio station that was playing a drama story, such things were slowly loosing popularity ever since Varrick had begun selling his ‘varri-vision’ boxes but Tani didn’t own one so the women were glad for the entertainment. The audio show appeared to be a long feature about a private detective in Republic City hired to find a woman and getting up tangled in a murder case instead, they were so engrossed in it that nobody noticed the door opening and Chintak walking in just as the tale reached its climax.

“I can’t believe you’re all still here.” The words startled the girls but the newly arrived man with a tattooed face was grinning as he bent down to kiss Tani sweetly, the rain had stopped but his hair was still damp. “You do know it’s well past three in the morning, don’t you?”

“What?!” Korra practically jumped to her feet, causing Asami to fall seeing as the raven-head had been dozing off against her shoulder. “We totally lost track of time.”

“What’s the big deal?” Biya inquired from her lying position with her head in Nilak’s lap, she was unconcerned even though she was yawning.

“The big deal is that my dad is probably worried sick by now.” The young waterbender replied with a small chuckle.

“That he is.” Chintak nodded lightly, it was no surprise that he had been with Noatak and the other friends. He also gave Nilak a small bow. “Happy belated birthday, by the way.”

“Thanks.” She bowed her head back in gratitude, seeing as she couldn’t get up with Biya’s head in her lap and Minori cuddled to her side, using Nilak’s arm as a pillow and sleeping soundly.

Asami took one look at her snoozing daughter and declared that it was time they all went home, Tani actually seemed a little disappointed at this but agreed and in the end they said their goodbyes cheerfully though Korra had to carry Minori to the satomobile since the youngest had woken up for the goodbyes but could barely stay upright.

Asami dropped off the Avatar and Nilak at the docks, the latter being assaulted with hugs from her friends who promised to visit soon, when they finally let her go Asami was scolding them to hurry or she wouldn’t be able to drop off Biya before dawn.

There was no boat to take Korra home, no ferries worked at that hour and their family boat had been left for Noatak and their other children so, after waving goodbye to the retreating speck that was Asami’s vehicle, the Avatar turned to her daughter with a grin.

“Race you back.” Korra jumped head-first into the gloomy waters of the bay and began to bend her way home.

“Cheater.” Nilak wasn’t really angry, she said the word as if was a well-known fact and quickly followed.

The girl usually avoided needless displays of bending, she didn’t like to show off or have to depend on her waterbending all the time but in this situation she opened an exception and fully intended to win the little race- she conjured a slab of ice and actually sat on it, unlike her mother she didn’t need stances to bend unless she wanted to so the frozen board practically flew over the water and past the Avatar, allowing Nilak to wave cheekily at Korra.

“Now who’s the cheater?” The mother yelled back a little sulky as it started to rain all over again.

Of course, it wasn’t exactly cheating, Korra was still faster if she really wanted to be although this time she let her daughter win simply for the pleasure of watching the girl bend for nothing other than enjoyment. Psychic bending was the extremely rare gift that Nilak just happened to excel at, it wasn’t easy, it required immense emotional control and patience, took a heavy toll on the body and when pushed too far could have disastrous effects but Nilak knew her limits and she knew her element so she rarely had problems, the only real downside was that she ended up depending so much on the psychic side of her skills that she procrastinated the physical side and the lack of training ended ensuring that she fell into a slightly pudgier category rather than being a muscular epitome of fitness like her parents.

They reached Air Temple Island in record time and Korra made sure to bend the excess water from their clothes and hair as quickly as possible due to the cold late winter air, Nilak took the task of repelling the rain from their bodies. They half expected everyone to be asleep when they got home but there was light glowing through the windows so it was clear to them that someone was in for a little scolding.

Korra practically grimaced as she turned her key in the lock and opened the door but her fears never came to pass- Kalle and Korei had fallen asleep against Naga, who snoozed by the dying embers in the fireplace, both nine year olds were in pajamas and had their hair loose; Shikou was nowhere to be seen and likely in her crib and Noatak had dozed off on the couch with an open book in hand, his dark hair with its greying temples was a mess and reading glasses were still perched on his nose.

The Avatar actually had to stop and let out a little relieved sigh in view of the scene, it was always at those times when she saw her family asleep that a sense of surreal happiness bubbled warmly in her chest because such a safe quiet scene just defied all the odds in her life.

A large black ball of fur padded into the house after the women, silent as shadow, and rubbed up to Nilak’s legs for attention. The girl knelt down and ruffled Kinapak’s fur lovingly, whispering about where the beast might have been all night long.

On her side, Korra tiptoed to the couch and whispered jokingly in Noatak’s ear- “Honey, I’m home.”

He woke up almost at once but merely blinked sluggishly and sat upright, quickly discarding the glasses that he hated so much but that Korra actually found attractive on him.

“You’re late.” Noatak announced sternly but softly to avoid waking the boys, not that such a thing was problem, the twins were snoring and so fast asleep it would likely take a splash of water to wake them.

“Sorry, we got carried away.” The Avatar apologized and gave him a little apologetic peck on the cheek.

“I have to hand it to mom, we have a lot of fun.” Nilak joined the conversation and sat next to her father.

“You did?” He ran his hands through the girl’s damp tangled hair and a slight relieved expression graced his features.

“Uh uh, she got me to sing on stage for a contest.” The young waterbender replied as if the memory was still unbelievable. “We all took turns actually.”

“And you actually agreed?” Noatak’s brows arched in surprise, he couldn’t imagine his daughter being comfortable on a stage as ironic as that sounded.

“It turned out not to be so bad.” Nilak shrugged, smiling a little proud of herself. “I got an honorable mention and Nori won second place. We also danced a lot.”

“See? Our daughter can have fun like a normal person, you should try it too sometime.” Korra plopped herself on his lap and wrapped arm around him while she joshed.

“So all you did was sing and dance all night? That hardly sounds like either of you.” Noatak had visibly relaxed but was observing them with a suspicious gaze.

“I never said that’s _all_ we did.” The Avatar chuckled mysteriously, choosing to leave certain parts of the evening out of the conversation. “We also went to Tani’s and had snacks and sweets, we actually came home this late because we got to cozy listening to a radio drama and lost track of time.”

“Tani’s?” Once again, he raised a brow. “You were at Serendipity?”

“Yes…” Korra hesitated just a little and dragged out the word.

Noatak stared at her, analyzing her sudden desire not to look him in the eye, a few tense seconds later all the pieces fell into place and she said simply, in a strict voice- “…Korra, you didn’t.”

“What?” The Avatar attempted to sound perfectly innocent and failed utterly.

“You took her for a tattoo, didn’t you?” It wasn’t even a question, he was sure of it and just wanted to hear her admit it.

“Er…” She faltered and looked away.

“She did.” Nilak replied honestly in order to get to the point.

“Korra!” Noatak admonished with nothing but her name but it was enough to make the woman slip off his lap and onto the couch with a pout.

“Oh come on, why is that a bad thing? You always spoil her too.” The Avatar accused, sulking a little but arguing head-on. “And besides, didn’t we talk about how disappointing it was that we never got our coming-of-age tattoos? I was just giving her the option to be loyal to her roots and have what we didn’t.”

“That’s not the point.” He stated dryly, unable to deny her words.

“You have tattoos too, you know? It’s not a fashion statement for us, it’s a cultural birthright, why are you so upset?” She countered, now almost irritated.

“Stop being defensive and listen to me.” Noatak demanded.

“…Fine.” Korra complied, sullenly.

“I’m not upset about the tattoo, I’m upset that you hid this and chose not to discuss it with me beforehand. Those things are permanent and as much as I agree with your last remark, did it not occur to you that I might want to be a part of this too?”

“Oh… Well, she’s a girl so I just thought… You know, traditions…” Korra muttered under her breath, her irritation subsided into some guilty embarrassment but she still refused to fold. “It’s your fault really, for being such an overprotective papa platypus-bear all the time.”

“Korra…” He said her name in warning.

“It’s actually quite lovely, daddy. Would you like to see it?” Nilak suddenly interjected again, hoping to put an end to the budding fight.

“…Show me.” Despite hesitation Noatak gave in, his curiosity was simply too strong. However, when Nilak finally managed to get her arm out of her sleeve he ended up staring and traced the mark lightly before glancing meaningfully at the Avatar. “Why this one?”

“I asked the same thing.” Korra stated, raising her arms in a gesture of innocence. “I had nothing to do with the choice.”

“I don’t know, I just connected to it instantly.” The girl replied, wondering why they seemed to react so much over such a simple design.

“It looks beautiful on you.” Noatak conceded at last, with that sort of soft smile that only his family was allowed to see.

“Thank you. That makes me happy.” Nilak blushed ever so slightly and hugged her father with a little innocent smile on her lips, she was still trying to avoid the argument between her parents seeing as she hated being the cause of such a thing. “I hope our trip to the festival tomorrow is still up.”

“Not that your mother deserves any more fun but yes, tomorrow afternoon.” He replied, hugging her back and immediately giving in to the girl’s wishes. “But only if we all get to bed now.”

“Deal.” Nilak and Korra actually said the word in unison and chuckled because of it.

Before long the Avatar was carrying the twins to their beds after petting Naga, the boys woke up momentarily in her arms but once they realized it was their mother both of them clung to her clothes and allowed her to carry them like sacks of potato-turnips until she plopped them in their adjoined beds and tucked them in for the night. A minute late she was checking up on the two year old girl in the nursery- Shikou always slept like the dead and nothing woke her but that also tended to make the Avatar nervous enough that she had to check to see if the child was alright and this time she was, Shikou slept curled up and clinging to a red lizard plushie.

Meanwhile, Nilak had gotten washed up and ready for bed and when Korra passed the girl’s room she saw Noatak sitting next to their daughter, both of them speaking in hushed but happy voices before he kissed her forehead and shooed her into the covers with good night wishes.

“Argue all you want but you’re proud, aren’t you?” The Avatar smirked, speaking the words just after he joined her and closed the door to the girl’s room.

“I always have been proud of her, isn’t it obvious?” Noatak looked puzzled by her statement but his earlier irritation had faded enough that he was willing to walk hand in hand with her all the way to their room.

“I meant proud of me.” Korra correct with a cocky smirk, already slipping out of her clothes to ready herself for bed though she still watched him. “Come on, admit it- I was kinda of an awesome mom tonight.”

“Korra, I never thought you were any less, only you did.” He stated serenely and lay back on the bed, his ice chip eyes following her every move. Noatak was fully aware that one of her biggest insecurities stemmed from mistakes of the past and a fear of failing her children while favoring her work so he measured his words with care.

“Never? Don’t bullshit me.” Korra’s tone was mocking and casual but she was serious about the matter, or as serious as one could be while balancing on one leg to slip on pajama bottoms.

“Alright, there were times…” Noatak admitted, there was no use denying the past but he trailed off, unwilling to dwell on the negative things. “But you were very young, under a lot of pressure and you learned, you grew into a good mother and I could not be prouder.”

The Avatar smiled, he always knew exactly what to say and after those years it still caught her off guard. Korra walked up to the bed and hopped onto it, already in her usual white top and pajama pants, she then snuggled to his side and wrapped her arms around him.

“Thanks.” She reached up to kiss him sweetly and amorously. “I love you.”

“I love you too, Korra.” Noatak returned the kiss just as tenderly and held her close, pulling the covers over their bodies. Deep down he knew he should probably argue about her earlier actions but he didn’t want to anymore, not when the day had worked out for the best and she alone had given Nilak a very rare happy birthday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: This started as small little silly ficlet that I was trying to use to get back into my writing groove, but, as usual, spiraled out of control into something completely different from the original version because I wanted to make it meaningful since it was a birthday dedication, it turned out much deeper and touches things I just really needed to let out.
> 
> Because of this darn fic I keep imagining Minori singing “Fever” by Peggy Lee, Nilak singing Jessica Rabbit’s song and Korra/Tani/Asami singing “These boots were made for walkin’” by Nancy Sinatra. Halp!)


	18. Absence

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Notes: I’ve said it before but I plan to write small versions of Books 2, 3 and 4 inserted in “The Castaway” universe so I was very nervous about writing this because it spoils things a bit for the Book 3 and 4 adaptation… And then I remembered that this ficlet happens during Korra’s three year absence and I’m not going to write much about that time, I plan to focus more on the six months where she’s missing but all that I write during those three years will be in Korra’s POV anyway so it just seems ok to write this little thing in Noatak’s POV. Consider yourselves spoiler warned anyway.  
This little narrative also explains a lot concerning the previous ficlet.  
Can also be read and reviewed HERE.  
Summary: Noatak and Korra are apart, he dwells on the events that led to that and on how much he misses her. Drama and angst.  
3,554k words. Enjoy.)

It’s strange how in the deepest darkness one can still see shadows moving in the corners of a room, it’s odd how even in a complete absence of light there still seems to be something to see…

These very contemplations haunted Noatak’s mind as he lay in bed staring into the darkness, he didn’t so much see the shadows moving as much as he hoped to see _something_. It was the middle of the night, he couldn’t sleep and as depressing as it was he just kept yearning to see motion on the empty side of the bed, often imagining that he could hear soft even breathing and perhaps a slight snore, sometimes he even thought he had felt some touch or residual warmth under the covers when nothing of the sort was there.

It had been eight months, he thought it would get better over time but lately he had just been getting more and more miserable. Eight months since he and Korra parted ways, eight months since he had returned to Republic City.

The situation with the Red Lotus had damaged them both. After it was determined that Korra would survive and that the poison was gone, Noatak still wanted to kill Zaheer, Chief Beifong had to subdue him because he was still determined to bloodbend Zaheer to death and he had gone as far as trying to find out where they were imprisoning the last remaining Red Lotus member just so he could murder the man but, ultimately, he failed to avenge the woman he loved. 

Noatak had felt so useless at that point, during the whole ordeal he felt sub-par to everyone else involved, partially because almost nobody would trust him after they found out his affiliating to the Red Lotus many years before, and partially because he was too busy keeping Nilak out of the way and shielding stray airbenders to really stand by Korra’s side.

Needless to say Noatak didn’t cope all that well when it became clear that Korra’s injuries were deeper than expected, the moment the word ‘_wheelchair’_ was dropped in conversation he felt on the verge on a breakdown himself. Nonetheless, if there was one thing the former revolutionist knew how to do it was bottling up his real emotions- even though he could barely look her in the eye, even though he avoided her out of guilt under pretext of giving her space, he was still the image of devotion and care towards his Avatar, he was still there for everything she needed and even put on a content face when Jinora finally got her airbender tattoos.

Yet, it didn’t work. Korra didn’t want to be coddled or protected by him, unlike Noatak himself she didn’t blame him for anything but they never talked about what her sudden disability and his own sense of responsibility were doing to their relationship and that silence was a black hole between them, one that corroded their feelings.

Tonraq and Senna believed that Korra would be better off recovering in the South Pole where she would be away from public attention, away from the media and the pressure of being Avatar, surrounded by family and close to Katara; Noatak agreed with them so they set off to the South Pole. It was a mistake for him to follow but Noatak and the obvious depressive tension between himself and Korra weren’t the real problems, the true issue that ruined everything was the one thing that should never be blamed for anything at all- Nilak.

At first, the toddler seemed to help, she made Korra’s days bearable with her smiles, her antics and her affection, having her around made the Avatar smile in ways she had assumed lost forever and yet as the days passed that smile slow grew more and more forced and she slowly cursed her inability to keep up with the little one.

Korra needed to focus on her own recovery so Noatak willingly took on all responsibility for the child, even so, just having the little girl around and having to smile all the time just to keep from alarming the kid was starting to be too much pressure for Korra. To make matters harder there was the simple fact that Nilak was barely over two years old, she was a very bright child who worried constantly about the changes in her mama but ultimately she was a baby and wanted attention like any small kid, attention that others almost always directed at her sick mother to the point where the child started throwing temper tantrums and misbehaving simply to be noticed.

It was during one such tantrums, a mere three months after the poisoning incident, that everything went down the drain.

There was plenty helpful staff in the royal palace of the Southern Water Tribe but Noatak was the one that did everything that needed to be done for Nilak yet Korra still wanted to participate, or at least try to do so, she had been feeding her daughter when the child started throwing a fit and refusing to eat, she tried to be patient and admonished the baby softly until at some point a bowl of food ended up spilled all over the Avatar’s lap and Korra lost it- she yelled like he had never yelled before, it was more than just impatience, it was spite and resentment and undiluted rage.

And then Nilak was crying both out of fear and because a bright red handprint was blooming on her arm, the toddler didn’t even run away, she was too scared to do so and just huddled back with screeched heart-wrenching sobs. At first the noise just made Korra angrier but that was the moment Noatak walked in on the scene and suddenly the Avatar was bludgeoned by the reality of what she had just done and it paralyzed her, Noatak had picked up the child and tried to comfort her when he asked Korra what happened but she just yelled at him to get the child away from her with tears streaming down her face too.

Everything had already changed but at that moment it became unrecognizable. Korra would no longer look at her daughter because after she tried apologizing and hugging the baby, Nilak had done something as trivial as flinching and the Avatar couldn’t handle the knowledge that her baby was scared of her; to Noatak it felt like twisted trip back to the past, to the days where Korra refused to acknowledge their newborn out of trauma and pigheaded fear, he tried talking to her but talking turned into fighting.

As much as he tried not to lose his temper, as much as he tried not to lash out against her actions, Noatak couldn’t help but be angry that Korra had attacked the child no matter how mildly and then promptly isolated herself from the kid rather than fixing the problem. On the other hand the Avatar had gone through a horrid period of denial and sadness and entered one of defensive rage against her own helplessness, against everything, so she twisted all he said into a personal affront because he was the easiest target to vent her frustration on and she learned that cheap blows like hashing up his past mistakes weren’t so hard on her conscience when her whole life was falling apart.

The argument escalated so much that even though Nilak was in another room, Senna decided to take the kid outside because they were shouting at the top of their lungs and saying things that no child should hear from their parents’ mouths. And then Korra said the words that Noatak could still hear in his head months later:

“You should go.” She had snapped angrily but in tone of command.

“I’m not leaving until you…-” Noatak had begun to protest but she shouted over him.

“I don’t mean leave the room, I mean GO. Leave. Go back to Republic City or wherever and take Nilak with you.” Those words had silenced him completely for a long moment while he tried to determine if she was serious or if it was the anger talking.

“Korra…” Noatak let her name hang but he didn’t really know what to say, he felt horrible but it was mostly because he wanted to accept that flimsy excuse to just do as she asked and leave.

“Please, just go.” Korra sighed, she finally stopped shouting and buried her face in her hands in a gesture that reflected utter defeat and emotional exhaustion. “I can’t take it, I can’t be a mom right now, and it’s just going to get worse. I’m too tired to fight it, I’m going to keep snapping and she might be small now, she might not remember any of this in a few years but if you stay then sooner or later I’m going to say something that she won’t be able to forget and then she’ll hate me forever.”

“You’re being childish.” He argued with her but he could see her logic, he couldn’t blame her for trying to take the easy way out considering everything else on her plate but he still felt it wasn’t the right decision to make.

“Yeah, well, that’s me! Little miss childish!” Korra shouted again and smacked her hands on the arms of the wheelchair, clearly taking offense. “I’m only twenty years old, Noatak! I’m not nearly old enough for all this shit! I was a reckless and aggressive kid when I had Nilak and you knew that but at least I could call myself Avatar, at least I was strong and still good for something, now I’m still a reckless and aggressive kid but I’m broken and worthless and a ticking time-bomb.”

“You’re not…” He tried to reply, she was angry but he felt he needed to correct himself and make her feel better. Unfortunately she had picked up on his worried tone so she wouldn’t let him get a word in edgewise and interrupted all over again.

“Don’t you dare try to comfort me! I’m sick of people trying to comfort me and telling me what I am or am not!” The Avatar screamed, drowning out anything he said. She was breathing heavily and glared at him, daring him to reply but he remained silent as requested allowing her to simmer down into her miserably tired self again. “Please just take her away, just until I’m better, for her own good as well as mine. Don’t let me turn into a failure as a mom too.”

And that was it, with those words Noatak had been disarmed, he couldn’t say no and he didn’t want to do so either. Once upon a time he had told Korra that if she ever made him choose between her and the baby, he would chose the baby because that’s what good parents do- they chose their child’s well-being over their own happiness. So he did.

The agreement was that they would take some time off from each other, there was a reason why Korra didn’t even let her friends come see her and that reason now applied to Noatak and Nilak too, she needed to be away from the pressure and the pity and the worry, she needed to focus only on herself and not have to put on a brave face all the time. He would return to Republic City with their daughter and give Korra the space she needed to heal, however, there was a catch- Noatak made Korra agree to eventual visits so that Nilak could still come and see her mother every once in a while, it wouldn’t be fair to cut the baby off from her mother completely.

So after those three horrible months, Noatak found himself back in Republic City and realized that without Korra around there was nothing there worth hanging on to, it didn’t feel like home if she wasn’t there, despite all the anger and how damaged their already complicated relationship had become he realized that she was still the best thing he ever had and he didn’t know what to do without her anymore.

He decided that all he could do was start simple and take one day at the time- Noatak cleaned the dust that had settled in their house and brought life back into it, he went back to his job (both of them) and helped out around the temple whenever the airbenders were away, he helped Nilak develop her newly discovered bending through little games, and overall just allowed his routine to orbit around his daughter.

There were more complex issues he quickly resolved too- he allowed Chief Beifong to take Korra’s place and become responsible for his freedom, he also kept himself well away from anything remotely political since getting involved gave the powers that be ammunition against him (President Raiko still appeared to hate him for whatever reason), normally he would dive into such topics with passion to keep himself distracted from the misery of being away from his lover but despite the growing turmoil since the fall of Queen Hou-Ting he found that he couldn’t care less about politics, he didn’t care about most things anymore except for Nilak.

Noatak wrote to Korra once a week but she never wrote back, he soon found out that she wasn’t replying to her friend’s letters either and decided not to take it personally. He didn’t stop writing though.

From time to time he would make phone calls, mostly so the Avatar and Nilak could hear each other but also because he secretly missed the sound of her voice; unfortunately, long distance connections were still a tenuous technology that often failed and when a call did connect he was usually informed that Korra wasn’t at the palace but at Katara’s and therefore unreachable, after a while he got the hint and understood that she was avoiding him, he figured hearing them made the distance more painful for her (it did for him) but her subterfuge angered him so he stopped calling altogether.

The only time Korra took the initiative to call on her own accord was on Nilak’s birthday, she had done so out of concern because it was always a dangerous day but she also pleaded to talk to the toddler, he had been the bigger person and let her talk to their daughter, Korra seemed to believe he was still angry about her lack of contact and she was right but hearing her voice was a gift to him as much as it was to their child.

And now it had been eight months since he came back, no visits had been made yet and like so many nights before he just couldn’t sleep because the bed felt too cold, too empty, too quiet, too peaceful, and he missed Korra’s presence like a severed limb.

There was still unresolved resentment between them but that just made the pain of separation worse, Noatak kept berating himself for being unable to cope with his own feelings at his age, he kept reminding himself that this was precisely why Amon never opened up to relationships- it made him vulnerable, he was always the kind that could take on the world for a cause but if anyone saw under his shell and things became personal he would run away as soon as the going got tough, he was the sort of person that couldn’t handle being hurt or rejected so he would hurt and reject first and yet when he loved, he did so with total abandon, zeal and obsession that bordered on the unhealthy.

That was exactly what was wrong now, he loved Korra so much that he had become dependent on her, she was his moral compass, he didn’t know how to exist without her and trying to do so, trying to care for Nilak without her input, terrified him because he feared he’d turn into a copy of the horrid role-model that was his own father…

He still lived every day with his same commanding air and confident stoicism, people still respected him or felt intimidated by him, there was still a need to remain in perfect control and show no doubt in front of Nilak. Yet in moments like these, just laying alone in the dark, Noatak let himself be human.

People say time heals everything and he thought time would make things easier but after eight months he just felt worse and it must have been showing because just that morning at work Liu had asked him if he was alright, the surly mustached man had gone as far as trying to grind his gears and irritate him with the sole purpose of making him react and vent but it failed as always because Noatak wasn’t one to fall for such baits.

A swallowmander ruffled its feathers against the glass from the nest under the bedroom window, for a split second the former revolutionist startled at the sound because it almost resembled the noises Korra made when she kicked the covers around in bed; a moment later he felt like his heart had been split in two from sheer disappointment. This happened often, he saw Korra in everything, Noatak was ashamed to admit that many a night he had fallen asleep whispering words to a lover that couldn’t hear them with a damp pillow from trying to smother his own tears.

Another noise drew his attention but this soft and clumsy padded sound he knew well, Noatak quickly used the edge of a bed sheet to dry his face and took a calming breath just as the door to the bedroom cracked open, allowing a streak of golden light to slice into the darkness. A tiny little three year old in an oversized turquoise sleeping tunic stood awkwardly in the doorway, hair all messy and clinging to a fuzzy polar dog toy.

“Why are up, Nilak? It’s very late.” Noatak murmured, cursing his voice for coming out so hoarse and broken. The clock on his bedside table marked two in the morning.

“Um…” The little girl stood with her hands behind her back and fidgeted, her tiny bare feet scuffed the wooden floor of the threshold and she looked down with a stubborn little frown. He knew that expression as well as he knew that timid sound of uncertainty.

“Bad dreams?” It wasn’t uncommon so it was the first thing that occurred to him but Nilak shook her head negatively, he chose to sit up and gestured for her to come in. “No? Then what’s wrong?”

Nilak promptly bumbled over and climbed onto the bed with some difficulty, she was still looking away when she murmured a single lingering word in a sad voice- “Mama…”

“You miss her?” The question was mostly rhetorical but Noatak sought to confirm the answer anyway.

“Hn.” She made a little closed-mouth affirmative noise that made her sound very much like her mother.

“I do too.” Noatak spoke sympathetically, if only the kid knew that minutes before he had been wallowing his own misery for the very reason that had brought her there.

Nilak nodded, it was barely noticeable in the dim room. There was no need to say much else, they understood each other just fine; Nilak no longer asked where Korra was or when she was coming home, the girl already knew that the only answer was uncertainty since Noatak had made it a point never to lie to his child even if it meant disappointing her.

“Want to sleep here with me tonight?” He inquired softly and kindly.

“Uh uh…” The affirmative answer was shy and still so sad but she looked significantly more at ease and yawned sleepily.

“Alright, come here.” Noatak tossed aside the bed covers and pat the spot next to him, Korra’s spot, motioning for the girl to join him.

Nilak crawled into the empty section of the bed and buried her face into the vacant pillow for a moment, it still smelled vaguely like Korra’s hair and the cinnamon oil the Avatar used to comb it; the little girl then turned and snuggled to Noatak’s side with her plushy between them. Noatak pulled the warm covers over them, he then turned to face his daughter and began petting her hair in the dark like used to do to her mother- Nilak’s hair was nothing like Korra’s, it was wispier, shoulder length and a bit curlier but the girl seemed to take just as much comfort from the gesture as the Avatar always had.

Now feeling protected, it only took minutes for the toddler to fall asleep with a little bit of drool pooling on the corner of her mouth.

Yet Noatak still couldn’t sleep, he kissed the top of her head, took in the baby talc smell of her skin and wrapped his arms around her, taking as much comfort as he could in her small warm form and her peaceful heartbeat. His own heart still ached as if squeezed too tightly in his chest but it felt lighter now, Nilak always had that inane talent of soothing him and he was reminded that as far away as Korra was, at least a little bit of her was right there for him to hold in his arms.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: I don’t know what possessed me to write this, the plot had been in my head for a while but today I just had to put it into writing for whatever reason… I hope people enjoy it.  
Also, the family dynamic specifically approached in this ficlet is based on true events of my life that I transplanted into the “Castaway”/LoK universe and adapted somewhat so it ended up being very emotional to write about. I just hope that emotion reaches the readers.)


	19. Grief

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Notes: Upon editing I think I managed to make this more concise but a lot less tear-inducing than the original, however, it might be a bit too wordy. Anyway…
> 
> DON’T TAKE THIS AS CANON TO “THE CASTAWAY” UNIVERSE. It’s not canon, all the characters and OC’s are canon and a bunch of details are too but most things are just a “what if” designed to explore certain possibilities and break hearts. Basically this is an AU of an AU. AU-ception.
> 
> Summary: Someone dies. The family mourns. People fight. Several someones flip their lid and one agrees to disappear with someone else for a while. I suck at summaries and I’m an emotional sado-masochist.  
19,866 words. Enjoy.)

It was warm day with only a crisp breeze blowing around the island, making trees leaves rustle and even fall to the earth red as dry drops of blood with crackling little sounds, the sun shinned gloriously on a clear blue Autumn sky and the sound of sea birds and waves made up a delicate soundtrack.

Yet, despite the sunny weather there was a shadow obscuring Air Temple Island, obscuring all of Republic City for that matter, one that ensured nobody really gave a damn about the sun or the waves.

The temple currently hosted a common but depressing event, at least for the people hosting it. The Air Nomads were not around at that time of the year but the few Acolytes around did their best to organize the private wake in honor of a fallen individual they all knew well.

In the main hall a large sepia photograph was enshrouded in a bed of deep red spider-lilies with row after row of candles burning in front of it, floral offerings piled up with each visitor, incense was lit by all those that wished to honor the deceased and that the whole cavernous space was filled with the scent of delicate smoke and the sound of the spirit chimes that hung around the ceiling was just barely audible.

In a smaller adjacent room there was a table filled with food, most of it brought by close friends but all of it available to anyone, it was also a place where people could speak more openly rather than in the more reverent space that was the main hall and, unlike that main hall, it filled with gossip and, occasionally, tears.

It was the second day of the wake, the body was not exhibited for it had been too damaged so the photograph had to do but the cremation would take place at sunset if all the necessary characters could be there on time, until then the family was stuck mourning together and accepting the words of comfort and condolences from the visitors of which there were far too many. It was supposed to a private affair away from the eyes of the general public and media, the island was supposed to provide some isolation but seeing as the deceased was so well-known with so many mysterious acquaintances, it was quite easy to simply claim to have known him and sneak in which was what many reporters and people seeking to catch a glimpse of the Avatar’s family had been doing since the day before.

Korra didn’t really care, she wasn’t paying much attention to the people around her anyway so whether they were many or few was the same to her, she barely even noticed all the details and planning of the event for when asked what to do she had simply ignored the question and opted to lie in bed, leading Nilak to take charge of everything.

Now the Avatar just sat in her spot with Naga’s offspring, Niko, who had his elderly head plopped on her lap, the old polar bear dog whined occasionally and tried to comfort her. Korra wore only red, the color of mourning in the Southern Water Tribe, which clashed with the royal blue and opalescent white of the choker she refused to remove, her hands rested on the companion’s furry head, her hair in a loose plait and she watched time crawl by without noticing anything in particular due to being withdrawn into her own thoughts.

People kept expecting her to cry, perhaps like she had when Katara or Aga or even Naga passed away, and everyone treated her like glass yet she found such concerns idiotic because she didn’t feel like crying, in fact she didn’t feel anything in particular.

It had been a few days but Korra didn’t believe it yet. After that first day, after witnessing exactly what had happened and being forced to drag back home her lover’s damaged corpse, she had fallen into an extreme sense of surreal reality, everything felt part a some coma, nothing felt consistent so she simply kept thinking about what had happened over and over to try and make sense of it until she could think about it no more and shut down, only to eventually start repeating her thoughts in a loop all over again.

Just four days before, the Avatar and some of those closest to her had been forced to the edge during an ultimatum in the Spirit World, it had been yet another plot that could have been world-changing as were most things in an Avatar’s life. They had won but the price had been too high.

Korra was sure she could have fought that war and won without any real casualties if only Noatak had let her try but the stubborn fool had seen himself as the less valuable piece in the Pai Sho board and opted to intervene to protect them and to keep them from having to fight a war at all, she was angry about that and kept wanting to chastise Noatak for being a coward that was so afraid of growing even older by her side that he would rather join any of her battles and sacrifice himself to keep her from fights that were her responsibility in the first place.

And yet… she could understand too. Wouldn’t she have done the same in his place?

Every time her thoughts brought her to that question she realized that, yes, she would have done the same, self-sacrifice was in her veins and if it was for the sake of her loved ones she wouldn’t hesitate on it.

Yet the fact remained that Noatak was different, he was the kind that believed one could have their cake and eat it too, meaning he thought too highly of his own skill and was the kind to exhaust all options before sacrificing anything at all and this time he had not done so, he had chalked himself off as expendable and jumped right into the fray without thinking twice. For some reason that made her _so very angry_.

Was this how he had felt every time she had to fight? Had that unpredictability been as frustrating to him as it was now to her? Probably so, she never really thought about it before.

To make matters worse she kept remembering the last words they exchanged.

As he so often did, Noatak had reminded her of his love for her, that tender burning passion laced with bittersweet empathy and a pinch of antagonism, that emotion that hadn’t faded even after decades together. He reminded her also that the only reason he had lived so long was because she had rescued him and that it had led to thirty years filled with memories and four children to show for their success, he said she should hold on to those victories and he told her she would be alright, that she could still be happy for many more decades to come without the need to hold onto an old man like him anymore.

Korra remembered all those arguments in vivid detail, she could still see his red-stained lips moving to form the words, she could still hear the harsh wheeze in his rusty voice and see that tortured tenderness in his icy eyes while he put on a mask of resignation and tried to comfort her and wipe away her tears with a shaky damaged hand.

It was all positively infuriating and Korra vaguely remembered sobbing like an angry child and screaming at him to shut up and just hold on while she and Nilak each used their own means to attempt (and fail) to heal the injuries that consumed his body, she also recalled yelling that she still needed him and that she would never forgive him for getting in the way and letting himself get killed like an idiot.

For some reason those words of hers had made him laugh and it was with that frail sound on his lips that he had ceased breathing completely.

Korra didn’t remember much of what happened after that, she recalled trying to frantically water-heal further until someone pulled her away to talk some sense into her and remind her of the enemy, by then she had begun struggling hysterically because she refused to let go of him, she refused to believe what everyone was saying. She also remembered something about going into an Avatar State fueled rampage before her own children finally stopped her and pulled her back to reality but it was too much of a nightmarish blur.

Ever since then the world just felt so… grey.

The fifty-two year old Avatar let out a heavy sigh, barely acknowledging some person she never met that was trying to present the standard words of comfort to her. Korra felt hollow and cold sitting in that temple and she didn’t have the energy to try and warm up.

She kept seeing Noatak on the periphery of her vision, his hair peppered with the greys that resisted the varri-dye he used to stubbornly attempt to look younger next to her; she kept waiting for him to round a corner or walk up behind her in that stealthy way of his while trying to walk as gracefully as he used to years before, the thought made her remember the cane she got him as a joke on his birthday and she had to swallow down the memory because it no longer seemed funny, nothing did.

Korra was even sure she could sometimes hear his voice whispering among the crowd of visitors that passed through the temple and it was the only thing that made her react with anything more that distant disinterest.

Such little illusions were probably why she was ignoring everyone, they were likely why she didn’t even respond or listen to any words of support and clung to false hope- she just didn’t believe he was gone, he couldn’t be gone because if he was then how was she supposed to keep going?

Noatak’s voice floated in the back of her mind, it wasn’t the sound of it but rather the memory of a conversation from several years before when they had been celebrating whatever at little restaurant in the Fire Nation and a little chubby waitress mistook them for a father and daughter which led to an uncomfortable chat. Back then he had told her that she had to get used to the wrong assumptions and that someday he would be gone and she would still have half her life ahead of her, it was a perfectly natural reality that they had to come to terms with and when it happened she would have to keep living for the both of them.

At the time Korra had scoffed and waved away the subject as unimportant because she was still too irritated at the waitress but now she just wished she had paid attention to what he was trying to say because maybe, just maybe, he would have shared a tiny bit of insight that could teach her what to do now and how to carry on. As a matter of fact she was starting to regret how she constantly belittled his insecurities about his age in those last few years…

Early on in their relationship she would call him old as a teasing joke and endearment that he learned to like but now she was wondering if, as the years progressed, she should have learned to be a bit more sensitive. She had always been supportive but she never stopped pretending like the age wasn’t a problem because to her it wasn’t but what about to him? Maybe to him it was always problem.

She could only now see that conundrum because despite being in her fifties Korra didn’t look much older than thirty, a perk of being Avatar, and it was becoming even more common for her children to be mistaken with her siblings in public to the point that it irked her- even so that irritation couldn’t possibly compare to what Noatak must have felt, after all being confused with someone younger wasn’t nearly as disturbing as being called your wife’s father.

She was suddenly awoken from her pained thoughts by the grating high-pitched voice of an unobtrusive little man in a dark charcoal suit and a shaggy brown mustache.

“My condolences, Avatar Korra.” The person muttered with a humble bow as he approached her to pay his respects only to then snap into interview mode, speedily shooting his whispered questions and giving himself away as a seasoned reporter. “What will you do now that Amon is gone? Where is the body? How do you feel about the rumors that his death was your…?”

“Rumors? Does look like a place for gossip to you?” A tall and nimble young Water Tribe man in his early twenties interrupted at once, his voice grave and low, cobalt eyes puffy and reddened but flashing with restrained anger as he placed himself between the Avatar and the mustached visitor. “Please, have some respect, if not for the dead then for those left behind.”

“Yeah, scram, vulture-rat.” Another young man, identical to the first down to the same crimson clothing and wolftailed hair, intruded at once. He was glaring much more viciously though equally anguished, and used his height to intimidate the little middle-aged man away from Korra.

The Avatar herself merely watched as distantly and unresponsive as she had been for days, the man hadn’t really bothered her because she never had any intention of listening to him in the first place and there was nothing he could say, no rumor he could bring up, that could be worse than her own thoughts. Yet she couldn’t help but watch the twins acting as protective as… Well, their protectiveness reminded her of someone and it made her feel a small spark of something for the first time in days.

“Or stay, I’d love an excuse to bash some teeth in.” A new figure stepped in- a girl in her late teens and baring a striking resemblance to the Avatar if not for her short pixie hair and clothing of a red as dark as a pool of clotted blood, a color that she wore constantly but that finally served a purpose that day. She cracked her knuckles and grabbed the man by his mandarin collar, cerulean eyes narrowed as she crowded him but found it hard to conceal the slightly cruel smirk that tugged at the corners of her lips at the prospect of hurting the intruder.

“Rei. Shikou.” Yet another person cut in sharply, this one with a voice that was smoky and temporarily hoarse but striking. The woman stepped forward from behind the twins, she was shorter than the three others but older and stood commandingly with a blank expression and lilac eyes staring down at the intrusive reporter.

The more aggressive young man and the short haired girl backed down at once, the latter rather disappointed as she dropped the intruder unceremoniously and merely let the woman pass; with a single nod she signaled one of the White Lotus sentries that had volunteered to act as security for the wake and the guard ran forward right away to collect the nosy reporter who had been trembling nervously for some time already.

He was hauled away without a fuss and nobody gave the scene a second thought, he wasn’t the first one to pull that stunt and it wasn’t uncommon for people to feel intimidated by that gang of siblings.

“You should have let me punch him, Nil. It would discourage the others that are no doubt sneaking around looking for a scoop.” The pixie haired girl sulked towards the other woman.

“You’re on a short leash already, baby sister. Don’t make it worse by starting trouble.” Nilak replied coolly and dryly, bloodshot eyes as distant-looking as her mother’s but far sharper when she cast the other a warning glance. She too wore mourning clothes but hers were black as had long since become tradition in the United Republic.

Shikou clearly intended to argue further but her brothers each placed a hand on her shoulder to stop her and lead her away, telling her to cool off and taking her to vent her frustration on the food that kept piling up in the other room, she was the kind to eat her anger away after all but nobody that looked at her toned and muscular body would ever suspect such a thing.

Without another word Nilak watched her siblings go and then moved away to sit beside her mother, placing a hand on the Avatar’s shoulder and squeezing softly in a sign of companionship.

Korra said nothing, she hadn’t really said much more than single word answers in the last couple of days, then again she hadn’t been doing much of anything those days- sleep and food didn’t appeal to her, healing her injuries felt pointless and she barely cared to move unless coached, she hadn’t even cried like the grief-stricken widow she was supposed to be and such a cold unnatural indifference was the reason reporters and gossipy acquaintances kept trying to approach her.

The circumstances of Noatak’s death were confusing enough to the public and Korra’s lack of reaction stirred enough suspicion and birthed enough stories to fill many newspapers for weeks to come- some asked about why he would get involved in such a fight at his age, others celebrated his demise, some wondered whether he was really deceased or if he had simply ran off, there was also an especially large amount of people that speculated that Korra herself might be responsible for his fall and she was too out of it to deny anything whatsoever.

Nilak rolled her neck and flexed her fingers, prompting cracking sounds from her joints before she finally relaxed beside the Avatar. Korra stared at her eldest daughter with passing interest, she remembered the little awkward girl that fiercely protected her baby siblings and pampered everyone she loved, the unsettling but kind kid that Noatak would dote over, and for a second the Avatar wondered when that sweet little troublemaker had become this stoic and tired-looking adult that sat beside her. It was as if time was playing pranks on her and Korra yearned to turn back the clock.

Trying to disperse those thoughts and shake away images of Noatak with young versions of their sons and daughters was an almost physically painful task but Korra did it anyway and turned her eyes back to the crowd around them, seeking a distraction by searching the many faces with glassy eyes and detached concern.

Her friends Chintak and Tani hadn’t left since the previous morning and were lighting incense together for what seemed like the twelfth time with shaky hands and miserable faces. Chintak, who had become a close friend to Noatak many years before, appeared to have a acquired a fresh mourning tattoo half-hidden by non-descript charcoal clothing and Tani looked eerie with greying hair tied with black ribbons and black clothing replacing her usual bursts of color.

Several faces looked vaguely familiar to the Avatar, she could remember some of the older ones as retired equalists and some of the younger as Noatak’s students at Liu’s academy.

Speaking of students, Malina and Anningan had returned from their travels to Spirit’s-know-where just the night before and hadn’t left their corner since, their ghostly almost white hair stood out against the black ao-dai and ao-gam they wore and their bangs spilled over their scars and unique eyes that were, if possible, even redder than usual. No one but Korra’s family really approached the two tall morose middle-aged siblings, they were far too intimidating.

Korra’s eyes fell on a mass of spider-lilies so large that one could open a shop with them, she knew Varrick and Zhu Li had brought the flowers, they had popped up at some point in the morning but she now noticed that they had disappeared, probably because the old retired and wheel-chair bound business man had been making a bit of a scene with his flamboyant attempts at cheering everyone up and his tired wife had probably dragged him away to avoid further disturbances.

The Avatar couldn’t help but stare at the flowers and let her mind wander, they were pretty little funerary symbols of reincarnation and reminded her of bits and pieces of a legend she heard somewhere about how the spirit responsible for the spider-lily leaves fell in love with the spirit that cared for its flowers and they got so distracted by each other that they abandoned their duty just long enough for an older earth Spirit to curse them so that the leaves would always die before the flowers bloomed and the flowers wilted before new leaves were born, thus separating the lovers with death. It was a tragic tale that Korra had never cared for all that much but it felt bitterly appropriate and gave her the sudden fleeting desire to set all the blossoms on fire.

To curve the sudden violent urge she glanced at the photograph enshrouded in more red blossoms. She didn’t like it, for starters because Noatak would never want to be seen bare-faced before such a crowd and secondly he looked so serious and neat in that photo, the scars looked so deep-set and intimidating, it just reminded her of the overly controlled and closed off face he presented to the world or the masks he had worn, she much preferred those subtle expressions that only she and her children ever got to see- the barely-there smile, the cocky smirk, the lecherous grin, the laughter, the loving look of awe, the cocky raised brow, the tender glance that spelled protectiveness, the sulking pout of annoyance or jealousy, the boyish relaxed look when he slept; even the angry scowl, the tired frown or the furious frosty glare were better than that serious and distant expression on the photograph.

“Mom?” Nilak’s voice cut in through the fog that cluttered her mind and the Avatar slowly turned her head to look at her eldest daughter who seemed concerned and bright-eyed. “Did you hear me?”

“Sorry.” Korra shook her head slightly, after automatically nodding and accepting condolences from people all morning she had long since tuned out most of what was said, even by her own family.

“I asked if you wanted a break, maybe we can go get something to eat?” Nilak asked gently, still holding her mother around the shoulders in a comforting way that went unnoticed. Niko, however, seemed to perk up at the mention of food.

The Avatar shook her head, she didn’t feel like eating and lacked the energy to move, it just seemed easier to sit there and wait until the whole ordeal was over.

“There’s still a long time to go until…” Nilak had to silence herself and swallow the lump in her throat, she refused to be seen crying, she always had. “…Until this is over. You need food.”

Korra shook her head once more and waved her hand to shoo her daughter and the polar bear dog away, giving them permission to go and silently assuring that she was fine.

Nilak was clearly unconvinced but got up with the beast in toe, she hurriedly found her brothers once more and instructed them to keep their mother company; both tall young men left their little sister to her dumplings and ran over at once to sit on either side of the Avatar, they tried to act tough and even cheer the woman up with chatter and recollections of brighter times but their strength was tenuous and they were much more open with their emotions so it wasn’t long before they were breaking down into a renewed bout of tears for the third time that day, forcing Korra to mechanically wrap her arms around both of them in a silent instinctive hug still lacked any emotion.

Meanwhile Nilak walked off to make sure everything was still under control and to check if there was any news on the airbenders- the Nomads had been settled in the western Air Temple for the past year to keep the peace and be closest to the those in need after the most recent conflict but Nilak had called for Tenzin or Jinora to officiate her father’s cremation and hoped that Rohan would show up for support, she desperately needed all her friends.

When Korra watched her daughter return, she saw how the other stopped on her tracks at the door when someone called her name from one of the many staircases in the temple, the distant voice was familiar and the Avatar noticed how Nilak’s expression suddenly lightened when she turned to see familiar faces walking her way.

“Nilak!” In seconds the waterbender was smothered by raven hair as someone hugged her tightly. “Hanging in there, honey?”

“Hello, Nori.” Nilak replied expressionlessly but clung to her friend quietly and tightly as if they had been apart for years rather a night. When she pulled away, careful not to wrinkle Minori’s little black dress, her cool composure was back. “I’m alright.”

“No, you’re not. I can tell, you always act all unaffected and faraway when you’re hiding your true feelings.” Minori shook her head disapprovingly and pat the waterbender’s hair. “You don’t have to be strong all the time, nobody will blame you for having a heart.”

Korra almost felt a spark of laughter bubble in her throat upon eavesdropping those words, she had heard the same speech time and time again in her life and half of those times she was the one saying it…but not to Nilak.

“Hello, aunt Asami.” The waterbender ignored the comment and changed the subject by greeting Minori’s mother.

“Hello. I’m sorry we’re late, we ended up having to pick up Wu at the train station so we could all share the boat here.” Asami explained softly and waved at the people behind her, the entrepreneur’s somber black outfit was pristine but her jade eyes looked red-rimmed, her short hair was listless rather than in its recent perfectly coiffed curls and her makeup was already a tad smudgy as if she had been crying on the way over.

“It’s alright.” The waterbender bowed her head lightly at the entrepreneur and then at the others as they walked through the large doorway. “Hello, uncle Mako. Wu.”

Mako, looking stern in his official Police Chief garb, returned the greeting but before he could say anything else the former prince-turned-business man pushed him aside and hugged Nilak so tightly that she was momentarily rendered breathless though that might have been because the pale flowers he carried were smothering her.

“Oh, you poor thing. You look so tired!” Wu commented critically and much too loudly, suddenly holding the waterbender at arm’s length as if she were a doll to assess her condition, he was the only one in the group wearing white as was typical for mourning clothing in the Earth Kingdom. “After all this is over I should whisk you all away to this little summer place I have in the mountains overlooking Kyoshi Island and just treat you all to a little vacation.”

“That won’t be necessary but thank you for the offer.” Nilak stepped away politely and nodded towards a faraway corner where Korra sat, listening to exchange but not looking their way or showing much interest. “There’s mom.”

“How’s she doing?” Asami whispered worriedly but audibly. “She doesn’t look much different since yesterday.”

“She’s… coping.” Nilak hesitated, she wasn’t exactly sure if her mother’s current state could be considered stable but she assumed it could have been much worse. “In her own way, I guess.”

“And by that you mean…?” Mako insisted, crossing his arms with a skeptic look on his unshaven face.

“I don’t think it’s sunk in yet, she’s barely responsive.” The waterbender explained as calmly as possible, mindful that the Avatar could hear her but also aware that the woman didn’t care at the moment.

Mako and Asami traded a worried look and seemed to come a silent understanding, everyone knew that although they hadn’t been a couple for years, many more than those in which they had been lovers, they were still close friends and could read each other with ease, especially when the subject at hand was Avatar Korra.

“Alright, let’s go to her.” Asami announced and began to make a bee-line to her friend, trying to drag Minori with her.

“Bolin hasn’t arrived yet, has he?” Mako murmured, even though he was obviously itching to follow.

“Not yet but when I called Rohan he said uncle Bo and Opal would join him and uncle Tenzin so they should be showing up any moment now.” Nilak explained in the same neutral tone.

“What about B?” Minori questioned quickly, probably because she knew that if there was anyone that could cheer Nilak up it was Biya but the earthbender had been visiting Zaofu with her brother and mother for the past month due a bi-annual family reunion of sorts.

“B should be here soon too.” Nilak replied, neglecting to point out that when she called, Suyin had been the one to answer and promptly announced that all available Beifongs -namely herself, Wing, Wei and Lin’s family- were on their way to pay their respects, much to Korra’s dismay.

They were also expecting more diplomatic but equally friendly visitors such as General Iroh and his sister. In fact, of all the politically relevant people Nilak and her siblings had contacted to inform of the situation, only Korra’s parents and cousins regretfully stated that they couldn’t come, seeing as they were leaders of their own nations and couldn’t drop everything on such short notice, however Tonraq and Senna did beg them to visit soon and Korra hadn’t objected when Nilak said yes.

In no time at all the Avatar was surrounded by friends. Mako offered to sit with her so that his presence in uniform might discourage strangers from bothering her but Wu’s attempts at conversation became too irritating for even her aloof self to tune out so she shot the firebender a meaningful look and he took it upon himself to drag the former noble away. Asami took his place with much more composure.

To be honest, as much as Korra appreciated the presence and support of her friends, as much as she would love to see them all together in one place again, at the moment she would rather be left alone. In fact, the only one that seemed to understand what she needed, the only one who chased everyone away and just stayed close in silent support was Asami and for that she was grateful.

Time ticked by awkwardly, sometimes in sudden jumps that made her wonder where the past hour had gone and other times in a slow crawl that made minutes feel like days, and as the afternoon progressed more people kept showing up.

As it turned out, Bolin and Opal arrived before any of the other airbenders since Juicy simply seemed to make better time than Rohan’s unruly sky bison, Lama. The earthbender wasted no time in gathering Korra in his arms, quickly joined by Opal herself, both of them hovering over the Avatar like worried mother-hens.

The Avatar briefly considered pushing them away, she appreciated the comfort but was starting to resent all the people invading her personal space, and yet she just didn’t care enough to do it and merely allowed herself to be wrapped in all those embraces, all of which felt lacking because none of the arms around her where the ones she truly wanted to feel.

The few Beifongs that managed to come caused a bit of an uproar because a lot of the visitors (some of them equalists, some acquaintances and some total strangers) immediately began whispering or unsuccessfully trying to interact with the notorious Metal Clan. A worried Suyin along with the now famous Wing and Wei supporting her rushed to Korra and her offspring, the elderly and (reluctantly) retired Lin and Captain Skoochy opted to pay their respects by lighting incense in silence.

As for Biya, she went straight for Nilak and hugged her so tightly that Korra watched her daughter crumple into her friend’s arms and bury her face in Biya’s clothes, probably to hide the dismal fight with her tears. Biya just had a way of breaking down Nilak’s walls, much like Noatak did with Korra… Or used to do anyway.

«Have to stop comparing everything to him.» The Avatar thought to herself bleakly, it was easier said than done though- everything just reminded her of Noatak.

By the time all the newcomers finally cooled off and had been updated on the gist of the situation by Kalle, Korra was finally allowed to breathe again and quickly returned to her apathetic slump until she spotted another familiar face walking through the door.

Liu entered unceremoniously, he looked so somber and tired that it made him appear ancient as he strode over grudgingly supported on his walking stick and followed by a few others. The Avatar watched him more intently than she had watched anyone so far, she half expected to see his light grey mustache twitch as he sneered just before their usual bickering started but at the same time she knew that it wouldn’t happen, she knew that Liu would be as grief-stricken as she was supposed to be.

The equalist merely walked right by her with barely a brief bow of his head and heading straight towards the altar to kneel and speak to the photograph in a tone so low that nobody could really hear although pain and anger were etched on his old features, he had the air of a man that had been betrayed and his hands trembled as he attempted to irately light the delicate stick of incense. Korra almost felt sorry for him, she almost felt like reaching out but that would imply admitting what was going on and she couldn’t do that.

The Avatar tore her eyes away from the equalist and looked around for a distraction before all her composure began to crumble, so far she had seen her own children cry and been held by her grieving and compassionate friends but she only really started to feel the enormity of the situation weighing down her on her and trying to force a reaction out of her when she saw all that emotion in the elderly mustached man that used to be an infuriating enemy and had somehow become a reluctant friend, one that always refused to let down his guard the way he now did.

While she tried desperately to cling to her own lifeless apathy, the sound of a baby crying started to disturb the peace, most people looked annoyed by it but Korra welcomed the distraction and scanned the hall for the source of the sound she had recognized instantly. Lisu was standing unobtrusively by the door in her White Lotus uniform with Kiseki who held a crying infant in her arms, it was clear that one year old she was taking care of wasn’t hers though- the baby’s skin was even darker than Korra’s, it’s hair was glossy black and the eyes were a stunning shade of periwinkle.

In two seconds flat Kalle and Korei were approaching their best friend and plucking the baby from her arms, and, while Korei opted to stay with Kiseki who after a few words exchanged via hand gestures hugged him close before they walked outside together, Kalle carried the baby off to its mother. Nilak finally let go of Biya and hastily wiped her tears, careful to fix the black smudges under her eyes before she accepted the infant, soothing it with gentle rocking and soft humming.

Korra just stared for so long that she forgot she was surrounded by people, she had been shutting herself away from the world so much that hadn’t even noticed that her only grandchild hadn’t been around for the past few days and the realization made her feel guilty- had her daughter sent the baby away to avoid disturbing her? Had her children been organizing the whole funeral alone while she lay around uselessly refusing to face the world? When had she become so selfish? So useless? So distinctly unlike herself?

Korra sighed and stood up for what seemed like the first time in days, her legs were so numb that she nearly fell on her face but instead managed to stretch them experimentally and walked over to Nilak, ignoring the pins and needles blooming all over her lower extremities and the friends that tried to follow and wait on her.

“Give me the kid.” The Avatar demanded tiredly.

“It’s ok, I can handle this.” Nilak assured immediately, even though she was fumbling with the kicking child.

“Please.” She insisted but the request sounded more like an order.

The young woman hesitated for a moment but she ended up complying, mostly because Shikou chose that moment to show up in main hall again, looking clearly inebriated and yelling about hypocrites and people who didn’t even deserve to be there; such a scene compelled Nilak to rush to her sister and drag her outside at once while a couple of strangers scribbled hastily in discreet notepads.

Korra watched them leave but paid little attention, she couldn’t blame Shikou for her actions because she was sure that in a couple of days she’d probably be the one acting that way. Rather than dwell on the situation, the Avatar opted to make herself feel useful, she looked at the baby that was held to her shoulder and rubbed its little back until the child calmed down and snuggled to her body with its little chubby face rubbing against her neck. She had never felt much like a grandmother, never even imagined it was physically possible for her to fit that image but that was the first moment of near-peace of that the Avatar felt in days.

It occurred to her that the one good thing about a funeral, other than bringing old friends back together, was the fact that it would take the attention off Nilak- for the past year the thirty year old had been the target of a lot of speculation and Nilak hated being the center of attention to begin with. Korra had been fiercely protective during that whole ordeal, she remembered how hard it was to be swarmed by all the negativity that came with being a celebrity single mother and she herself hadn’t really been single when it happened to her, in her case it had just been a few months of secrecy but Nilak really had no father for her baby nor did she want one and refused to comment on how such a pregnancy had even occurred, she had just showed up at home one day after a few months travelling across the Spirit World from the Northern portal and announced with no excitement that she was expecting.

The backlash of the public in general had been surprisingly harsh but although the family and friends had all proved supportive, the one person who never asked any questions or tried to pry answers out of Nilak and had been there every single time to help her was, as always, Noatak- even though he was dying to get his hands around the neck of the guy that had touched his firstborn girl he had held his tongue and chosen to respect her wishes.

Korra couldn’t help but feel a little twinge of gratitude that he had been around long enough to meet his grandchild, but then that gratitude was drowned by a sadness that she didn’t want to process, she still refused to accept anything her rational mind tried to tell her about Noatak, about how the kid in her arms would never remember him and would simply grow up hearing contradicting stories about his existence.

“You’re going to hear a lot of crap about your granddaddy, kiddo. Don’t let them fool you, he’s just human.” The Avatar murmured at the child that just babbled something unintelligible in return. It made her heart constrict in her chest, it made her reconsider her choice to get involved rather than stay in her corner, but she pushed it all away and hugged the baby closer to her chest.

Time slipped from the Avatar’s control again while she tended to her grandchild and lost herself in memories and a loop of dark thoughts all over again, when she finally remembered herself the baby was practically asleep and there was a warm weathered hand on her shoulder.

“We came as fast as we could.” Tenzin’s voice was surprisingly soothing- he didn’t try to comfort, he didn’t spit out the usual expected condolences and he didn’t even hug her, the elderly airbender just kept his hand on her shoulder and spoke as he always had. “What do you need, Korra?”

After a slow breath, the Avatar turned to face her old airbending master- his beard looked whiter than she remembered, the edges of his tattoos seemed more faded and his wrinkles were more pronounced but Tenzin remained unflappable, yet whether it was because he was experienced with such events or because he had long since been prepared for this situation was unclear.

She didn’t reply, Korra wasn’t sure if the airbender’s calm was comforting or if it was ominous but she was starting to feel too exhausted to face the world again and merely nodded with no real reply coming to her lips. What did she need?

She needed her lover to be there for her, she needed to not be surrounded by whispers of death, she needed the last week wiped from her memory, she needed Noatak’s voice telling her everything was ok.

As it turned out, Jinora had stayed behind in a position of leadership since it was too soon for the Air Nomads to abandon their current posts. Nevertheless, Tenzin had brought with him Pema, Ikki and Rohan, the latter had wasted no time running off to find Nilak who had disappeared somewhere with Shikou, Minori and Biya.

In face of Korra’s renewed lack of response, Asami pulled the airbender aside to explain the situation, she then joined the Avatar again to allow Tenzin to make preparations for the cremation with the Acolytes but as soon as he was out of sight a lot of movement around them began to disturb Korra’s stupor, many people seemed to be rushing to the door- she only figured out why when she heard sounds of fighting and yelling and the floor appeared to tremble under her feet.

It’s wasn’t overly hard to guess what was going on, by the sound of it she assumed Shikou had graduated from making a drunken scene to actually resorting to violence against whomever she felt had no business being there, with every shouted word Korra could feel her youngest daughter’s hot anger vibrating inside her like the twang of a tense wire and it seemed that Nilak, Rohan, Biya and all three pairs of twins in attendance were trying to calm the girl down and stop her wayward bending.

For a brief moment Korra considered interfering and stopping the fight but then she shrugged, she didn’t care enough and was happy not to be the under everyone’s scrutiny for a little bit, she focused on the child in her arms and rationalized that it might be best to let Shikou vent all that excessive negative energy and tire herself out. Nonetheless, the fight didn’t seem likely to last all that long, by the sound of it Nilak lost her patience and given up on trying to reason with her sister, she had instead smacked the younger girl down and dragged her back inside.

Things should have cooled down but thanks to that one bit of negativity people started whispering and arguing amongst themselves at the doors of the temple, some simply because the stressful situation gave tense nerves an excuse to snap, others because they disliked the girl’s accusations and some because they defended those very same accusations. And then there were those in the shadows that appeared to have been waiting for an opportunity to fight.

Before long the mood worsened further and the noise of people shoving each other around and arguing drowned out the sounds of waves and wind chimes and, spurred by all the negative energy brewing in the air, Shikou’s belligerence sparked anew and she began shoving her sister and friends away, going as far as punching one of her brothers in the jaw.

Without giving a damn about what anyone would think, the Avatar considered leaving, so far she had been too detached to care about such an option and had preferred to just let everything work itself out around her but now that everyone seemed to be getting angry she was getting a headache and starting to feel that icy shield around her crack uncomfortably fast under stress.

“You didn’t even know him!” A middle aged woman with steel grey hair yelled among the buzz of the crowed and a few other rallied around her, she seemed to be one of the people that had showed up with Liu but the man himself was taking no part in the discussion whatsoever, in fact, rather than take sides he seemed more likely to lose his temper with the disrespectful situation as a whole.

“Well, you turned your back on him, traitors!” A short stocky man retorted from the other side of the hall, Korra recognized a few of the people on his side as former and current students from the academy.

“None of you gave a fuck about him as when he was alive, not after he was no longer useful to you, and now suddenly you’re here pretending to care? Hypocrites!” Shikou shouted from her spot on the ground that she was being pinned to by her own sister’s chi-blocking and Biya’s bending.

“Shut up…” Korra muttered irritably at nobody in particular and when no one paid her any attention she almost growled.

It felt like being catapulted back to her teenage years as a rookie Avatar that everyone underestimated and tried to go over her head, Korra got sick of it faster than humanly possible. Sensing some danger, Asami plucked the child out of Korra’s arms and retreated, allowing the Avatar to clench her fists and grit her teeth as a scream built in her throat.

“Get lost.” Someone yelled towards someone else, it was no longer possible to tell who was who, there were just too many disagreements and some people were actively trading blows.

“We have as much right to be here as anyone else!” Another person retorted over the noise of varied arguments, some of which weren’t even about Noatak anymore, some were even about Korra and her apparent lack of action.

“Stand down! This is the Air Temple, it’s a place of peace.” Rohan called out, his tall frame flanked by Mako, some Acolytes and the Beifongs, all of them intent on restoring some harmony.

“Peace, my ass! We’re talking about Amon here, who cares where we are?” An anonymous voice in the crowed interjected.

“His name was Noatak.” This time it was Bolin who countered, rather heatedly but awkwardly.

“Different mask, same shit.” Another anonymous voice snapped back.

“SHUT UP!” Korra roared, using airbending to amplify her voice almost instinctively, the walls shook and her eyes flashed white for a brief moment. “ALL OF YOU JUST SHUT THE HELL UP!”

The noise ceased almost immediately and the fighting broke off but nobody moved, they just looked the Avatar’s way and then glanced at each other uncomfortably… Except Nilak and Shikou, who were far too immune to their mother’s temper to care, the former now sported a split lip and the latter continued to struggle against the people that attempted to restrain her.

Korra stared back at the crowd, paralyzed for a second, she was furious but more than that she felt like she was going crazy, like the apathy of the last few days was cracking and she was starting to fall to pieces and the last thing she wanted was to show it.

Before anybody understood what was going on she rushed outside as fast as her airbending to carry her, disappearing from sight in a flash, she didn’t know where she was going and rushed blindly down the temple steps and over any and all obstacles until once again, when she was completely alone, she almost saw _him_ in the corner of her eye and that fleeting moment of distraction allowed a single tree branch to tamper with her balance and caused her to stumble and land on the ground with a thud like an amateur.

For a few seconds all Korra did was breathe and lie there on the dry crunchy fall leaves with red hot frustration and rage sizzling under the surface of her skin, then without consciously deciding to do so she sat up and punched the ground so hard that the concussive force of her earthbending created a crater and dislodged several trees. Someone screamed in pure unadulterated fury and the Avatar was only minimally aware that it was her own voice resounding in the clearing.

“Korra?” The name was uttered as a question from behind her and Korra swung around to find Asami walking cautiously towards her. “Are you alright?”

“Do I look alright?!” The Avatar snapped angrily, waving at herself for emphasis.

“…No, I suppose you don’t.” The entrepreneur sighed softly and moved closer. “But it’s better than seeing you shut down and stare at nothing.”

“Go away.” Korra waved her friend off and turned around, she wasn’t sure what to do or where to go but she didn’t want to hear people telling her how to act or feel.

“No, I don’t think I will.” Asami stated with cool determination and tried to place a hand on the other’s shoulder.

“I said- GO AWAY!” The Avatar roared and shoved the raven head into the closest tree, actually lifting a fist as if to strike but hesitating at the last minute.

“Are you going to hurt me, Korra?” Asami cocked a perfectly filled-in brow skeptically, she didn’t appear intimidated in the least.

“…” Korra seemed about to reply but her snarl turned into a frustrated scowl at the last moment, she didn’t let go or lower her fist but it was clear that she no longer wanted to strike, she had simply been hoping to scare her friend away or maybe make her angry enough to lash out in retaliation so they’d have an excuse to fight but in the end Asami’s reaction only made her feel ashamed and even more exasperated.

“I’m not the one you’re angry with.” The entrepreneur added in a soft voice, cautiously placing a hand on the avatar’s bicep, only then did Korra lower her fist and let go.

“I’m not angry, I’m furious.” She almost growled derisively through grit teeth and turned away once more, hands balled into fists at her sides.

“The sentries and the Beifongs are sending most people home right now, only a handful are being allowed to stay. You don’t have to worry about that mess anymore.” Asami explained diplomatically, giving her friend some space.

“That’s not why I’m pissed off.” Korra grumbled.

“Then what is it?” The raven head inquired, clearly worried.

“It’s just… It’s… I can’t really… Argh! Damn it!” The Avatar ran her hands through her hair in frustration, pulling so hard that she tugged it out if its plait while she struggled to find any words that could come even close to explaining the chaos she felt brewing under her skin.

“Korra?” Asami’s concern was palpable now, like a cold mist between them.

“Why? Why did he have to be so stupid?!” Korra shouted at nobody in particular, punching a tree hard enough for it to shudder all the way down to the roots and for dry leaves to shower down. “I’m the one that takes risks, I’m the one that jumps into danger without thinking, I’m the one that’s the Avatar! So why did he suddenly decide he needed to be the one making the stupid sacrifices?! It’s not even like him!”

Asami’s expression went from fearful concern to shocked understanding to soft sadness in a sequence so startlingly fast that the Avatar didn’t even notice it. “Korra, he just wanted to protect…”

“Don’t give me that crap!” She cut the other off immediately with a furiously sharp tone. “You know Noatak, he’s powerful, he doesn’t take uncalculated risks. This wasn’t about protecting us, he knew I could have handled it, this was about him being a selfish prick and having a fucking death wish and not caring about us enough to want to live!”

“How can you even think that?” Asami’s shocked tone rivaled the surprise in her wide jade eyes.

“I know it! He kept complaining that he was getting too old to keep up with me and he wanted to go out with bang, he didn’t care about our feelings, he’s a selfish asshole!” The Avatar screamed the irrational accusations angrily, not caring if they were true or not because it was just easier to make assumptions.

“Listen to yourself, Korra. Are you really blaming him for getting murdered?” The raven head actually reached out and grabbed Korra by the shoulders.

“…” She hesitated, Asami had a point there but Korra had already destroyed Noatak’s killer and it hadn’t helped the pain lessen.

She couldn’t vent her anger on someone that was already destroyed, even the Avatar couldn’t do that but if not the enemy then who could she blame but herself?

“He didn’t have to… I... I could have…” The angry words came out of Korra’s mouth in an irritated but hesitant stutter.

“Do you really hate him that much?” Asami asked as calmly as humanly possible.

“I… He’s… not gone, he can’t be gone, Asami.” Korra breath was coming short now, she shook her head and once again spoke between grit teeth.

“Korra, you have to face…” The raven head began, her face crumbling with pained worry.

“I should have stopped him, I should have saved him! No, he’s not gone…” She rambled on to nobody but herself before finally looking up at her friend and screaming in total and complete agony. “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO NOW?!”

“Korra…” Asami wasn’t sure what to say anymore and trailed off uncomfortably.

As for the Avatar, she began to pace the small clearing, hands trembling and hair falling onto her face while she rambled on in a shouting voice that cracked every so often when she struggle to take in a deep enough breath.

“How I am supposed to sleep if he’s not there? And who’s going to wake me from my nightmares? Who’s going to cook? Who’s going to fix things when I fight with the kids? Who’s going to keep me from getting reckless? Who’s going to help me handle sneaky politicians? Who’s going to be there for me when I screw up as Avatar and make everyone angry? Who will I trust in those moments when I can’t even trust myself? Who’s going to remind me I’m loved whenever I have the whole world on my shoulders?” Each question was punctuation with a mix of rage and sorrow so bitter that it was almost tangible.

“You don’t need him for any of those things, Korra. You don’t need anyone to show you your own self-worth and you’re wise and old enough to take care of yourself, so are your kids. You never depended on him that much out of need but out of want, you’ll be fine.” Asami explained rapidly before the other had remembered to argue or interrupt. “As for reminding you, that you’re loved… Noatak isn’t the only one that can do that.”

Yet again, the raven head reached out her hand but this time it was to stop the Avatar from pacing a trench in the ground while tentatively and tenderly cupping Korra’s cheek, the sincerity in Asami’s eyes bordered on anguish but she refused to back down even when the Avatar froze for a moment and then shook her away.

“It’s not that I need him for anything, Asami, it’s that I WANT him!” She snapped back, not so much in anger but more with a sense of utter need and misery with her eyes fisting in her clothes and her teeth grinding so hard they felt about to crack. “It’s not that I _can’t_ live without him, it’s that I _don’t want to_! I shouldn’t have to, this shouldn’t be happening!”

“Sooner or later you had to…” Asami’s started to speak once more but this was an argument Korra knew all too well and this time the interruption was both deliberate and filled with renewed wrath.

“NO! DON’T GIVE ME THAT SHIT! NOATAK WAS ALWAYS GIVING ME THAT TALK AND IT’S NOT TRUE!” The Avatar bellowed, eyes flashing with rage and flames sparking in her breath before she began to rant. “I never cared that he was going to grow old ahead of me, ok? I didn’t care that his hair was turning grey and he was getting wrinkles or that he needed glasses to read and moved slower than before, I didn’t even care that we couldn’t spar or have sex like we used to. I _didn’t_ care, I _don’t_ care!”

“But, Korra…-” Asami tried, she really did, but she couldn’t get a word in edgewise.

“I wouldn’t even care if I ended up having to take care of a senile version of him, you know why? Because he took care of me too when I couldn’t do it myself- SO. MANY. TIMES. And I love him! I’d do anything for more time no matter what it is, ANYTHING!” Korra’s screaming was rendering her hoarse and her anger peaked… Only to then drop vertiginously as if falling off a cliff, in a matter of seconds she had sunken to her knees, sobbing her heart out. “It’s not fair. I just want more time…”

“I know.” The nonbender stood in front of the Avatar, speaking gently and holding her close so that Korra could bury her crying face into her friend’s clothes. “But you’ve had thirty years and, considering the life you’ve had and the battles you were in, three decades is a blessing, one that you should cherish.”

“I don’t care about the past, I want the future!” The shout came out mingled with a sob, Korra’s hands were still clutching her own clothes so tightly that the fabric might just rip but she no longer shied away from Asami’s embrace. “Maybe… I’m the Avatar, maybe I can change this.”

“Korra, no.” The raven head kneeled down in front of her, looking stern, clearly disapproving of whatever insane alternatives the Avatar was considering.

“Yes, maybe I can… Maybe I can bargain with the Spirit of Reincarnation… Or the Ocean Spirit! La always liked Noatak, right? Maybe if I offer them something good enough, they’ll give me more time.” The look on Korra’s face as she spoke was a mockery of hope, her eyes were bloodshot with tears and appeared to almost shine with a sudden spark of insanity.

“Even the Avatar can’t reverse death. You know that.” Asami reminded bluntly, holding her friend by the shoulders.

“I can try, can’t I?” The Avatar insisted stubbornly and a little deranged, still hurriedly trying to conjure other plans to reverse her loss. “He died in the Spirit World, maybe if I go back there… Maybe if I stay there long enough I’ll see him again, maybe he managed to become a Spirit! Maybe… Maybe I can trade places with him, maybe…”

“Korra, listen to yourself!” It was Asami’s turn to interrupt, loudly and appalled and on the verge of delivering a slap. “You can’t bargain your way out someone else’s death, you can’t go disturbing Spirits or sacrificing your life, the Avatar’s life, for a gamble! …No, not even a gamble, at least a gamble still has a shot, this is just plain old delusion!”

“Shut up.” Korra pleaded, closing her eyes as if to deny reality.

“He’s gone, he’s probably moved on to his next life already. He’s at peace and you should be too.” The nonbender continued, ignoring the command and trying to knock some sense into the Avatar’s head.

“SHUT UP!” She yelled again, standing up and backing away so abruptly that she nearly tripped on her own feet while shaking her head and covering her ears in a flimsy attempt to deny the truth.

“NOATAK IS GONE, KORRA!” Asami shouted back, it clearly hurt her to say those words and tears brimmed in her made-up eyes but she wouldn’t back down. “The faster you accept that, the faster you can start healing.”

All Korra could do was let her legs give out again and scream. It wasn’t even logical- she merely knelt there and screamed for the sake of screaming until her voice gave out into choked sobs as if she was trying to physically expel the pain from her body, tears flowed freely and cut down her cheeks in rivulets and her hands slipped from covering her ears to clawing into her scalp.

It hurt to watch, it was torture to see someone always so strong, cheerful and proud falling apart at the seams in such vile agony, but that was all Asami could do at that moment and she didn’t dare try to say anything else because she knew from experience that what her friend needed the most at that moment was simply to let herself be vulnerable and cry her fill.

Korra folded in on herself, still on her knees but now with her head to the ground as she wept. “…I don’t want him to be gone…” She hiccupped the words like a lost child between wracking sobs.

“Oh, sweetie…” Asami finally gave in and crouched down to wrap her arms around the Avatar. “I know, I know you don’t.”

“It hurts…” Korra practically whimpered, trying desperately to swallow down gulps of air between sobs. “I’ve had so much pain in my life that I overcame, so much that I thought I could handle anything else but this… This worse than the poison, worse than being paralyzed, worse than bloodbending, worse than drowning, worse than childbirth, worse that being broken to pieces from the inside out, worse than being trapped in a loop of fake deaths until I went crazy, worse than being tossed around like a ragdoll, worse than being used and abused, just worse than anything I’ve ever faced and I…just…can’t…take it. It hurts too much… I can’t _breathe_ without him.”

The broken rambling words were spoken with such despair from the hoarse Avatar that Asami herself couldn’t hold back her tears any longer; yet the nonbender wasn’t crying for Noatak, she was crying for Korra and she couldn’t stop even as she pulled the trembling sobbing mess of an Avatar into her arms for a tight embrace.

“I know it feels like the end of the world or like you will never heal but I know you, Korra. Listen to all the things you just named, all the things you survived and overcame. You’ve done the impossible so many times and each time it felt like the end but it never was, instead you grew stronger and wiser, you always managed to smile afterwards.” Asami murmured the words comfortingly, not bothering to hide her crying as she held Korra and caressed her hair. “This too shall pass and when it does you’ll be even stronger.”

“I don’t _want_ to be stronger, I want him.” The Avatar insisted stubbornly, residual anger and desperate misery dripping from each syllable. “I don’t want to forget him, I can’t lose him.”

“And you won’t forget him, you won’t lose him.” The nonbender promised, gently coaching Korra into looking her so that overflowing sky blue could meet bloodshot jade. “He’s with you every time you think about him or say his name, he’s in your children and in your memories, remember you have more years of memories with him than you have without him.”

“…” Korra seemed about to reply but she couldn’t put her response into words, she knew Asami meant well and someday those words would be comforting but at that exact moment all those things just felt like embers that would keep the pain alive forever.

“He’d want you to move on and be happy.” Asami added encouragingly, trying to wipe away the Avatar’s tears even though more just flowed out a second later.

“Not without him.” Korra shook her head in pigheaded refusal.

“Yes, even without him. Even I heard him say that, Korra, he always wanted you to be happy and keep living for both your sakes even after he was gone, you know this.” The nonbender insisted, this time more sternly and with absolute certainty. “His last wish was for you to move on, and for you and the kids to be happy. Can’t you at least _try_?”

Korra’s face crumbled into an expression of agony, a look that showed resignation and yet a struggle against it, she began to shake her head in denial but ended up just burying her face in Asami’s clothes again and sobbing even harder. She clearly had run out of arguments, the only logical step to take next was to accept the truth but she still couldn’t do it and simply gave in to the urge to cry and fall apart.

Asami didn’t let go of the Avatar, she kept having to wipe away her own wet cheeks heedless of the streaks of smudged make-up but she never once loosened her hold on her friend, she held the broken pieces together and whispered those same comforting words over and over, patiently waiting for as long as it took for Korra to cry herself out.

Eventually, and neither how them was sure of long it had been, the Avatar seemed to have to wept herself dry and finally managed to simmer down to sniffles. Nonetheless she still remained motionless leaning into Asami’s arms while the raven head rubbed her back soothingly, once again Korra was staring into the air with her eyes glossed over as she merely focused on the only task that mattered at the moment- continuing to breathe.

Despite the fact that everyone at the temple was likely going crazy with worry by then, the two didn’t move from that spot until they began to hear faraway movement and realized people were searching for them. It was at that point that Asami decided to speak up.

“They’re looking for us.” The raven head pointed out as she slowly coached the Avatar into sitting straight again. “It’s time to go, Korra.”

“…I guess so.” The reply was resigned and lifeless. Now that she felt like an empty well, Korra was once again feeling too hollow to do much more than just go with the flow.

“You know what comes next, right?” Asami asked very softly, she also began to comb through the Avatar’s hair with pale manicured fingers and then started to braid it once more into something presentable.

“Hn.” Korra made a vague sound of agreement and a long sigh escaped her body. She knew exactly what came next, she had unfortunately seen her fair share of funerals but she didn’t want to think about it too deeply, it was just too final.

“Alright, let’s go then.” The nonbender finished tidying up the Avatar’s hair and wiped the smudges from her own face, she then waited for the other to move and when Korra didn’t she placed a pale hand over a dark one. “I’ll be right behind you throughout the whole thing, I promise.”

The promise was indeed more reassuring than expected but the Water Triber was still too reluctant to move and merely sighed once again and stared at the crescent shape injuries on her palms from when her nails had dug too deeply and broken the skin.

“I don’t know if I can do this, Asami. I don’t think I can just stand there and watch…” Korra paused to swallow a sudden lump in her throat. “…And watch him go up in smoke.”

“Korra, I know this feels like the hardest thing you’ve ever had to do but I know you can do it and we both known you need that closure.” The entrepreneur defended softly with well-practiced diplomacy.

She was right and Korra knew it in her mind, it was a pity her heart didn’t agree- “I still can’t do it.”

“Yes, you can. All you have to do is be there for your kids and endure it for a little bit, you don’t even have to speak if you don’t want to.” Asami tried to bargain with her, hoping that the faster the funeral was over, the faster Korra could start healing.

“…” The Avatar hesitated and then just looked down with her shoulders slumped.

“Tell you what…” The raven head stood up and stretched a little since her legs had started to cramp under Korra’s weight, she spoke with as much gentle optimism as possible. “Let’s do this and afterwards when you’re ready to start moving on, we can go on a little vacation and just forget about our lives for a while. Just the two of us travelling and getting into trouble like the old days.”

“…Just you and me?” Korra sounded skeptical but also a tiny bit hopeful and that was better than the depressive misery of before.

“Of course, Spirits know we earned a break… Unless you’d rather have someone else pampering you? Am I no longer a suitable adventure partner for the great Avatar now that I’ve grown old?” Asami teased playfully to lighten the mood.

“You’re not old, you’re incredible.” Korra corrected, she wasn’t really trying to give a compliment, her tone was still hesitant and hollow and it sounded simply as if she was stating a known fact. “…Where would we even go?”

“Well, I never really got to just spontaneously explore the Spirit World the way I always wanted so…” The nonbender trailed off with a soft and slightly sad smile. “How about it?”

Korra considered it for a second- it had been years since she and any of her friends had travelled without worrying about some imminent threat or about leaving their families behind and it had been even longer since she and Asami had actually spent any time alone together. The Avatar felt like she’d never really be happy or whole again but she thought that if anything could distract her from her pain it could be this so the offer was very tempting.

“…Alright.” Despite the hesitation and the flat and tired tone, Korra’s answer came before she even consciously made up her mind, at that moment it just seemed easier to grab onto anything positive than to try to think things through.

“Your excitement is contagious.” Asami retorted sarcastically but not displeased, she then held out a hand to help the other up. “Come on, sweetie, let’s get this over with.”

Without another word Korra allowed herself to be pulled to her feet, she didn’t move when her friend to pat her clothes free of leaves and fixed them up and she even let Asami shepherd her all the way back to the temple. They stumbled on Mako, Bolin and Ikki who had been some of the many people looking for them and after a quick nod from Asami, the airbender and the two brothers left to call off the searches so everybody could head out, not to the main hall of the temple again but to the most remote cliff on Air Temple Island.

About two decades earlier certain events had led Korra to expand the island’s territory, it had turned into a bit of a bureaucratic hassle at the time but with so many new Air Nomads and Acolytes it was a welcome change. Shortly after, Korra and Noatak had made a habit out of trekking up to the most remote new little cliff in the island whenever they wanted to think or be alone or simply needed a break from home- that particular spot faced the city and was easily secluded from sight if one just knew where to stand, without even noticing they had made that tiny corner their own and not even their offspring would invade it whenever one or both of their parents were up there.

Korra hadn’t really been the one to choose the spot for this part of the ceremony, Nilak and Kalle had suggested it on the first day of the wake and in her numb absent state the Avatar had agreed.

Now people were silently gathering in what had once been her private refuge- her children were there in the central group waiting for her along with Tenzin himself, her grandchild was present too even though the one holding the baby was now was Rohan who stood far away with everyone else, including Pema, the present Beifongs, Bolin, Mako, Asami, Minori, Wu, Chintak, Tani, Anningan, Malina, General Iroh, Princess Ursa and somehow Varrick and Zhu Li too. Even further away, by the trees and practically out of earshot, where a couple of White Lotus sentries, Lisu, Liu and Kiseki.

Most of those present were silently and reverently watching what was going on at the edge of the cliff- a small handcrafted kayak was perched there waiting to be lowered down and set afloat on the calm waves that swooshed in the shadow on the cliff, in it lay a familiar body wrapped in Water Tribe wool blankets and nested over a pile of oiled wood.

Korra knew Noatak had a will but he had never spoken about any preferences concerning funerary rites, anyone who knew him even a little could figure out that he probably hadn’t cared less about such things so in the end it was up to the living to decide. The tradition in the United Republic leaned towards cremations in a pyre with different ceremonies depending on preference, belief or ethnicity but the Water Tribe was more complex, in the South Pole people were buried or in some more remote and rural areas the bodies were given a sky burial where they were ritualistically left for scavenger animals to feed on, in the North Pole the practice of burial was spreading but traditionally the deceased was placed in a kayak and set aflame before being released onto sea.

Korra was partial to a sky burial herself for many reasons but mostly because her soul and her very memories would be reborn in another body almost immediately after her death anyway, however, for Noatak they ultimately chose the Northern tradition, it was only fitting that he return to his roots even though he had spent half his life denying them.

Despite her deal with Asami, Korra didn’t really want to be there, she didn’t want to look at the little boat or at the people around it. So even after she had taken her place in front of the vessel flanked by her children in the dimming light of the sunset, she halted while trying to will herself into looking at what was right in front of her rather than at the ground but her eyes closed and would not open, they would not let her see him and make it all real even if it was her last chance to say goodbye.

Tenzin started saying something, Korra wasn’t even sure what it was because she was too busy keeping her eyes closed and trying not to let herself break down again but the airbender’s tone was peaceful and practiced so she accurately assumed that he was reciting some sort of rite. She wasn’t exactly sure how long it took but it seemed much too long, her nerves were on edge and she kept clenching her hands into fists if not just let the pain of her injured palms distract and remind her of the reality of the situation.

Someone apparently didn’t like the little quirk because a cool hand slipped into her own, prompting her to finally open her eyes and look at the person on her left- it was Korei, the youngest and more mischievous of her twin boys, like his brother he had his hair in a wolftail with his bangs tied to the left side of his face wrapped in a faded cobalt ribbon, but unlike Kalle he now sported a bruised jaw. His face was wet and his eyes, so much like Noatak’s, were overflowing but he nudged her lightly with his elbow and a gave her a shaky grin.

“He’d be mad if he saw you like this, mama.” The young man teased in a low whisper, holding her hand like a parent holds that of a frightened child.

“Rei’s right.” A grumpy voice murmured to her right, grabbing her other hand. The person in question had a swollen brow, she avoided the Avatar’s eyes and scowled heavily to keep herself from crying but seemed more regretful than angry as her expression tried to indicate. “Dad would be pissed if saw you shutting down and doing this.” Shikou squeezed right on the injured part of Korra’s palm to bluntly highlight her words. “But then again, who was he to talk? That tight-ass.”

Korra actually took a shaky breath and snorted softly, she agreed but said nothing because if she started talking about Noatak in the past tense then what was left of that detached feeling would slip away and she would start sobbing all over again.

“Oh look, you made her react. Kudos, baby sister.” Korei spoke with honesty but his whispered tone was too flat for humor, indicating that he was still irritated by Shikou’s punch earlier.

“…” Shikou stared at her brother even more grumpily, clearly making a herculean effort to bite back a snippy retort. She then finally glanced at Korra, there was a moment of eye contact and suddenly the girl was looking at her own feet and looking defensive as she whispered- “I’m sorry about earlier…”

“Shikou…” The Avatar shook her head with the best approximation to a reassuring expression that she could come up with, she wanted to tell her daughter that it was fine, that the girl had acted more humanely, bravely and honestly than Korra herself but she was too pained to even rustle up any energy to find the right words so she just pulled Shikou closer and linked their arms together before planting a ghostly kiss on her cheek.

The message was clear- it’s fine, I love you anyway.

“That’s a little more like it.” Feeling left out, the other twin, Kalle, moved from his brother’s side in order to stand behind Korra with one hand on her shoulder and the other on Shikou’s. He liked seeing Korra react a little and he liked seeing Shikou take responsibility for a change but most of all he liked seeing them all interact like a family again.

Tenzin was still talking and Korra still wasn’t listening, the hollow feeling was still there but she could no longer feel detached and instead was grateful for the proximity and comfort of her children except for the fact that one was missing.

Still avoiding looking at what was in front of her, Korra glanced around to find Nilak- she spotted her eldest daughter to her right, several steps away from them and looking straight ahead silently and stoically with her hands folded at the small of her back, her hair was completely loose and falling all over the place, a fact that Korra hadn’t noticed before.

Neither she nor the twins or Shikou dared interact with Nilak at that moment, they knew far too well that although Nilak could be the most loving and supportive person but when she willingly isolated herself in that unreadable manner it was best to leave her alone with her thoughts. In that sense she was so much like Noatak that it physically hurt Korra to look at her eldest and she had to squeeze her eyes shut again just to keep away the sting.

Korra only realized Tenzin was finished with his part when she heard a completely different and shaky voice replace the airbender’s- Bolin was saying some words about Noatak, he was trying to tell some story that happened shortly after the twins were born and in which Noatak had saved Bolin from his own mistakes but halfway through the he found himself unable to continue and sobbed almost comically until Mako and Asami pulled him away, only allowing him time to put something, a tarnished old yuan on a string it seemed, in the kayak.

Apparently it was time for anyone speak up because Bolin was quickly replaced by Anningan and Malina who spoke about their relationship with Noatak as a mentor and guardian and who kept their emotions surprisingly in check. Korra almost didn’t recognize them without Malina’s usual cynical tone or Anningan’s polite demure attitude, she kept remembering them back when they were still kids training with Noatak and it was hard to recognize them now that were the age Noatak had been then he found them. When they finished, the two stepped to the body and tucked two faded magenta cords in the vessel.

Suyin deposited an old-fashioned parchment fan in the kayak and said a few words after the two fair-haired siblings. She spoke of how she had always had every reason not to get along with Noatak and yet they had become friends almost instantly when Korra introduced them, she spoke about a particular little adventure when a teenage Nilak and Biya had shown up in Zaofu only to then run off somewhere to the Earth Kingdom and Noatak had chased after them and recruited Suyin to help because she knew the area and Korra had been in the North Pole at the time. The story didn’t seem to have much of a point other than to highlighting some of Noatak’s most prominent characteristics but appeared to make an impact on everyone nonetheless.

Wu actually wanted to make a speech too and so did Varrick but the senile old coot and the flamboyant ex-noble were held back Zhu Li who gave way to Chintak. The tattoo artist didn’t have all that much to say, his short cryptic words alluded to gratitude towards Noatak for things that only Korra and Tani really understood and once he was done the couple placed a roll of parchment and brush next to the other little offerings.

Asami spoke next and by then Korra was starting to zone out again, she wanted to hear what everyone had to say, what everyone really thought, but it was becoming much too painful to endure. Still, she made an effort to hear Asami out and was grateful that the nonebender’s speech was short and to the point- she mentioned a promise Noatak had forced her to make three decades before, an oath of what she should do if he ever strayed from Korra’s side, a pledge that had changed the way Asami saw him and she pointed out how grateful she was that she had never had to enforce that promise and how much she had grown to admire and even envy him over the years.

Korra didn’t understand half of it but it moved her anyway, however, while Asami placed photograph in the kayak, all thought about the raven head’s words was swept from the Avatar’s mind because the next person that chose to talk was the last person she expected.

It was Mako.

The firebender started off by saying what everyone knew- that he and Noatak had always had their differences, that initially they only put up with each other for Korra’s sake and reveled in any opportunity to grind each other’s gears. Then the speech changed and he talked about things nobody really knew of, many things throughout the years that changed Mako’s view on Noatak, things that had happened between the two men and had made them respect each other and that they had never spoken about out of pride. By the time he was done and placing an ancient crumbling matchbox in the vessel, Korra was too dumbfounded to even feel the pain for a few moments.

Apparently nobody else had anything to add, those that hadn’t spoken were just quietly walking to the kayak to either say a last farewell or to deposit some significant trinket or another. Liu stayed away throughout the whole thing and it seemed like the only ones expected to say anything else were Korra herself and her children, yet before any of them could gather the strength for it, Lin suddenly appeared to make a decision and stepped up with her white outfit turning orange in the sunset.

Clearly the retired Chief hadn’t prepared for this so her first few lines were just stern blunt words about all of Noatak’s flaws and how the two of them had hated each other for a long time, but then her tone softened somewhat and she began to speak with the professional confidence she used to show during her career days.

Being the queen of grudge-holding, what Lin said next really disconcerted a lot of the people present- she spoke of how she had unwillingly developed an immense amount of respect for Noatak and how he had come to her aid in times when no other person even noticed her predicaments, much less offered to help, she even mentioned that somehow the two had become unlikely drinking buddies every once in a blue moon and finished off by thanking Korra for the chance to see another side to a man she had never expected to be able to forgive.

The silence that followed Lin’s speech was stifling; the retired policewoman dropped a sort of metallic choker that the Avatar remembered well into the kayak and retreated to her sister’s side. Nobody really dared to add anything more but they all looked Korra’s way, awaiting a response.

She didn’t know what to say or do, she wasn’t ready and she didn’t want to be, she just wanted time to stay still so she’d never have to admit that this was really happening to her. Korra was actually considering running away again but just then her sons stepped forward and she was too entranced watching them to make a decision on whether to leave or not.

Kalle and Korei didn’t make any speeches, even if they wanted to they seemed to be exerting all their self-control to keep from crying again so actually talking was out of the question, instead they walked up the little kayak and for the first time Korra glanced at it just enough to see what they were up to. The twins each produced a small dagger and in one swift and unintentionally synchronized move they cut off their wolftails and placed the shorn hair inside vessel, they said something but it was too soft to be heard by any of the living and when they returned to Korra’s side they practically had to hold each other up.

Shikou went next, she followed in her brother’s footsteps- her hair was pixie short but she had a pair of long but small beaded braids, one of which she chopped off and then tied around her father’s cold ashen wrist. She said only a simple ‘see you later’ and made the little mock salute that her own personal running gag before she returned to her mother’s side.

Neither Nilak nor Korra moved right away, the former still looked stony and aloof and latter was starting to shake and stare at the ground again because it was too much pressure and she just didn’t want to do this, to make it all real.

At some point, when everyone was starting to get restless and the day was literally running out, Nilak finally decided to do something but it wasn’t towards her father she chose to walk to walk to, it was towards Korra. The waterbender stood in front of the Avatar and took her hand gently, she then silently placed something in Korra’s hands and held it there, waiting patiently for her mother to acknowledge the item.

Korra stared at it for a long painful minute, she held in her hands nothing less than Noatak’s mask- not the white one of Amon but the dark yin-yang one that he had started wearing shortly after they fell in love, the wood was dull and worn out with the occasional crack here and there and faded paint in the grooves, it was a shield that told a million stories and Korra remembered every single one of them.

She traced the nose of the mask lovingly with the tips of her fingers, a breath she didn’t remember holding came shuddering out past her lips and clear droplets fell on the dark surface before rolling down the side and Korra completely disregarded the fact that they came from her eyes. These weren’t the wracking sobs of before, this wasn’t anger, denial or agony, these were simply silent unstoppable tears of surrender and all Korra could do was let them flow while she hugged the mask to her chest.

Nilak’s arms were suddenly around the Avatar, hiding those tears in an embrace. “The longer we delay this, the more it will hurt. Let’s get this over with, mama.”

Korra nodded mutely and let her daughter guide her forward, when she finally looked up the world was blurred around the edges due to her tears but she could see kayak just a step away from her, she could see how the last golden red rays of dying sunset painted it in shadowy hues and made the flowers inside look like flames, the sparkles of light reflected on the water in the horizon made everything feel covered in an oddly supernatural halo, she could even smell the heavy scent of incense and flammable but fragrant oils that failed at masking the gruesome odor of death.

The Avatar finally took that last step forward and forced herself to look down before she had time to tell herself to look away- her lover looked so pale, almost ashy, and the injuries had been impossible to conceal fully but his face had that same relaxed boyish expression that only ever showed in sleep, the one Korra had often stared at for hours at the time when they lay in bed together at night or in the rare occasions when she woke up first or found him napping on the couch, that expression that she loved to perdition, that had always been her favorite and that was also going to be the last she ever saw.

A sob escaped her before Korra even had time to take a breath and she clung even more tightly to the mask just to help resist the urge of clinging onto him instead. Luckily, Nilak’s arm remained around her shoulders, allowing the Avatar to lean to her daughter for support, silently but violently weeping and cursing herself for being unable to keep up a strong face.

“I don’t want to do this, I don’t.” She sobbed, squeezing her eyes shut and digging her nails into the mask this time. “I don’t want him to be gone.”

“I know. I don’t want to either.” Nilak agreed and even though Korra didn’t look at her daughter’s face she could hear the tears in Nilak’s hiccupped voice.

In fact, the usually warm yet stolid young woman that learned from her father to never cry in front of others was suddenly weeping in way that the Avatar hadn’t heard in many years, when she looked at her daughter suddenly all Korra could see was the little girl that Nilak used to be and not the woman she had become, the girl who used to run to her daddy for everything and worshipped him the same way Korra had adored her own father.

“I miss him, mom. He wasn’t just my dad, he was my best friend and confidant.” Nilak sobbed, still somehow making a conscious effort to lower her voice so nobody else would hear. She then broke contact just enough to place a hand right over Noatak’s chest, her face twisted with that sort of ugly sorrow that warps one’s face into a pathetic sniveling mask of despair. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you, daddy, I don’t even know how I’ll raise my own kid without you to help me. Why can’t you even stick around to watch your grandkid grow up? I still need you! Why do you have to leave me like this?”

Even though the Avatar had done the exact same thing earlier, Nilak’s sudden selfish outburst caught Korra by surprise.

Like Noatak, Nilak tended to hide what she really thought and felt but unlike him she did not do so under a mask or under an unreadable expression that changed only in the most carefully calculated ways; no, Nilak hid it all under aloofness, mysterious smiles and forced optimism and while Noatak had no problem showing his selfish side, Nilak despised showing hers and preferred to prioritize everyone else’s feelings and rationalize her own which was precisely why her sudden outburst was like barbed wire squeezing around Korra’s heart.

If there was one thing that could always make the Avatar forget her own pain and think rationally, it was when she saw her children in pain, no matter how old they got it always made the maternal side of her kick into protective mode. This was one of those moments and for a brief minute all her denial and agony felt like background noise.

“Nini…” It was the Avatar’s turn to hug the young woman, Nilak was always so controlled and calm that Korra sometimes forgot her daughter had feelings too. “I’m here, you have me, you always have me… And we always have him, right here.” Korra raised a hand and tapped Nilak’s temple softly.

Mirroring her mother’s earlier actions, the waterbender merely nodded and clung to the Avatar, sobbing with her periwinkle eyes tightly shut against the tears while she allowed Korra to take her hand and coach her into letting go of Noatak’s still form.

The two women ended up just standing there, holding each other and staring at the person they loved the most in the world while Nilak made an effort to waterbend their tears away. Thus far they had been given some degree of privacy but it was getting late, the sun had disappeared, leaving behind only enough residual light to paint the horizon in a gradient of blood red, amber, lilac, purple and indigo under the first few stars that freckled the sky and a tiny slit of waning moon; so Kalle stepped forward, he didn’t really say anything but nodded at his sister and Nilak forced herself to suck in a calming breath and nod right back.

“It’s time to let go, mama.” The young woman murmured, placing her hands over Korra’s on the mask.

“What…?” The Avatar looked down at their hands and understood but she couldn’t let go of the object. “No! Not this, please! I… I can’t.”

“Do you want me to do it, instead?” Nilak asked, trying to look perfectly calm and failing when her lip trembled and her voice wobbled.

Once again the barbed wire tightened around Korra’s heart at the sight but before she could decide what to say, Nilak at gently pried the mask out of her mother’s fingers and proceeded to lower it onto Noatak’s face, dropping a lock of her own hair onto his chest in the process. Korra couldn’t stand it, she just couldn’t bear to see his face hidden, to know that the last glimpse she’d have of the man she loved would be obscured by a mask, even one that she was so attached too.

“…No!” The Avatar protested and snagged the object away, when Nilak tried to protest Korra held up a hand to stop just shook her head, swallowing rapid gulps of air to calm herself. “I should… I’ll do it.”

The waterbender watched her for a second but then surrendered and backed away. Korra moved closer and leaned over her fallen lover, she refused to put the mask on his face and placed it over his heart instead, she then caressed his cold cheek one last time and placed one last kiss on his colorless unyielding lips, once again watching her own tears fall though this time onto his scarred face.

“I love you, old man.” The Avatar whispered in the ear of the man that used to be Amon and though it was the most painful she ever had to do, Korra finally let go and stepped away.

All that happened after that felt like a dream of dream, the tears still fell but Korra’s face became a mask of weary calm as she stood with her arms automatically pulling her children to her even though her mind was no longer really focused on anything in particular other than Noatak’s form in the little kayak- while before she couldn’t bear to look at it and make things real, now she couldn’t look away for it felt like everything would collapse if she did.

Someone had to light the pyre but none of Noatak’s children had it in them to do it so Mako volunteered but when Korra saw him with his palms alight she moved forward without thinking and stopped him, the firebender thought she was going to argue and fight him, everybody thought so, but the Avatar just pushed him aside with eerie calm.

She stood in front of the small vessel, noticing how it was designed to contain a fire for quite a long time before the structure even began to degrade. With practiced mechanical moves that her body knew by instinct, Korra ignited the intricate nest of wood and fuel inside the little vessel and watched the flames grow with crackles and pops; thanks to the oils the flames were a green and blue so bright they were almost white and engulfed the body in a matter of seconds.

Without giving herself time to think about the situation and let it sink in, the Avatar the began to bend again, this time to raise up a column of water from the sea bellow the cliff in order the set the little kayak afloat, this time Nilak and Shikou helped too.

Before long the mass of teal and blue flame was floating on the calm waters of Yue Bay.

A grave was raised right on the edge of the cliff by none other than Lin and Suyin Beifong, they worked together to raise a column shaped tombstone of black rock flecked with silvery sediment and so deftly cut and polished that it was almost a mirror with small intricate details etched on the edges; however, an area was left purposely blank to allow Korra to fill in whatever she wanted to write in whatever dialect she wanted whenever she felt like it.

Once the grave was taken care of, Korra was about to waterbend again in order to push the vessel out to open water but stopped when she saw a familiar black shadow circle around the kayak, the massive shadowy koi took over the task and began to swim away dragging the vessel out towards the horizon in a current of its own.

Though she and her children weren’t surprised in the least, there were some surprised gasps and curious mutters in face of the strange scene but Korra didn’t bother to look at all the people behind her or even listen to them and before long they were all dispersing and leaving to give her, Nilak, Kalle, Korei and Shikou the privacy to just stand there on that cliff in silent companionship and watch the flaming blur grow smaller and smaller in the distance until it became just as tiny a pinprick of light as the stars themselves.

By the time the glow of the pyre went out completely in the horizon all traces of sunlight had disappeared, despite the clear skies it was a dark night and the lights from the city and the temple were welcome. For Korra the little sliver of moon looked like an eye that was practically closed but still mournfully surveying the land and for some reason that felt absurdly appropriate.

She wasn’t sure how long she stood there staring at the dark horizon with her vision blurred and her children’s arms wrapped around her to share heat, comfort and affection though sounds of their tired weeping and occasional hiccup overlapped with the hiss of the wind, the song of crickets and sloshing of waves against the rocks. It still felt like a dream that she was watching rather than experiencing, one that was neither particularly good nor particularly bad, it just was.

After a while Nilak broke away from the group and walked to the shiny new grave. Flowers, candles, mourning ribbons and incense had been left there for them and she began to put the supplies to good use; the other siblings soon followed, Korra went along without thinking and soon the pillar was perfectly decorated more spider-lilies and ribbons with the family sitting around it and the Avatar supplied a flicker of flame so they could light the candles.

All the while they were in total silence, the siblings didn’t even ask what Korra would write on the grave, they simply left it up to her, other than that there would be time to talk later, at the moment neither of them felt particularly inclined to chat since they were too emotionally drained. They were so drained, in fact, that Shikou suddenly got up, dusted herself off and left with a careless wave of good night, any other person might have felt offended by her manners but Shikou was how she was, it wasn’t all that hard to tell that she was just trying not to look weak all over again.

There was movement by the trees when the teen passed and Kiseki appeared, it seemed she had never left and had been waiting for all that time but it was getting late so she signaled to the twins that she had to go. Kalle and Korei got up in a flash but hesitated until Korra told them to go, they then crouched down to kiss each of the Avatar’s cheeks and said good night before joining their friend and heading to wherever she lead them.

That’s how one by one people returned to their own independent lives until Korra found herself sitting alone with only Nilak besides her and the silent girl had been so deep in thought for so long that it was obvious she wasn’t there, not really.

“You can go, you know? You’ve been keeping everything running for days, go rest.” The Avatar commanded drearily, showing an exhaustion that was beyond physical, but then it occurred her that if she didn’t plan to sleep anytime soon it was likely that Nilak might be feeling the same. “…Or don’t. You’re friends are all together for the first time in months, go spend some time with them and the baby.”

Nilak watched her mother for a long tense moment, her puffy periwinkle eyes burned and her dark skin was blotchy with maroon hues but her expression was indecipherable.

“…I think I’d rather just be alone for a little while.” The waterbender replied, much too casually to feel normal.

“Yeah.” Korra sighed, she should have guessed she’d get that answer. “Alright, Nilak.”

Still, the waterbender didn’t move, by the mysterious but sharp look in her eyes she seemed to be scrutinizing the Avatar exactly like Noatak had always done. Korra had never quite figured out if they were picking up the mood and little details or if they waited for her to give something up or even if they stared like that in order to pick up signs with their bloodbending, perhaps all of the above- it could get irritating pretty fast.

“If I leave you here alone you won’t do anything stupid, will you?” Nilak cocked a brow ever so slightly, her tone suspicious. “Like dive off that cliff and swim after the boat or some other spontaneously reckless thing?”

“Who do you think I am?” The Avatar actually snapped out of her stupor for long enough to look offended.

“The person whose temper Shikou inherited and I’ve seen her slam her head into a wall hard enough to bleed for no reason other than frustration.” The waterbender pointed out bluntly. “Much like you do with your fists if I recall correctly.”

“You worry too much.” Korra shook her head a little derisively.

“So I’m told.” Nilak agreed blankly but soon softened and leaned closer. “You’ll be ok, right?”

“I will.” She promised insincerely, to be frank she was more worried about Nilak than herself. She never could quite figure how her daughter’s mind worked, then again she never had to because that was Noatak’s area of expertise.

“I’ll trust you this once.” The waterbender gave one of her barely-there smiles and kissed the Avatar’s cheek. “Good night, mama. I love you.”

“Love you too.” Korra murmured without moving while her daughter dusted herself off and walked away.

Strangely enough, the silence and the solitude brought an unusual calm to the Avatar’s tormented emotions; she had never cared about rituals like the ones of that day even if others drew solace and closure from such things but those moments tending to the new tombstone had felt equal parts surreal and soothing, terrifying and yet reassuring.

Korra still didn’t want to think about it or believe it, it was easier to pretend she might just wake and find out the whole ordeal had been a nightmare, but the day had been a crazy whirlwind of emotion that forced her to face all things she desperately wanted to repress whether she liked it or not, gutting her viciously with so many different levels of emotional agony that now all that was left was… What exactly?

Not anger, not anymore, she was too worn out for anger. Emptiness then? Possibly. Depression? Of course. Exhaustion? Definitely. But what else?

Dark fingers skated along the polished stone as the Avatar pondered about how she should feel and how she actually felt, she thought about these things and about what to write on the darn pillar because she didn’t want to think about what would come any further in the future, she decided then and there that she would do what she always told Noatak to do- live in the moment.

At least until the next wave of grief hit, bringing along that loop of negative emotions once more, because that’s how grief works- like a tide.

“You do realize you’ve just been sitting there for over an hour, right? Do you plan to let yourself freeze to death out here? Not that I mind but he’d be pissed.” A cranky voice spoke behind her yet Korra didn’t have to turn to know who it was. She was, however, startled when the visitor dropped a warm coat over her shoulders and immediately recognized the scent of the garment- it belonged to Noatak.

“Funny how everybody keeps saying that but I don’t think he would be angry at all.” The Avatar shrugged, slightly mollified towards the other simply because surrounding herself in the warmth and scent of that coat made her feel at more at home than her own bed did.

“Yeah, well, you were always the exception to the rule to him, I guess.” Liu rolled his eyes and with some effort managed to sit beside her despite his creaking bones.

“Why can’t you just admit I know him better?” She wondered, glimpsing briefly at the elderly equalist.

“_Knew_ him.” The mustached man corrected grimly.

“…” Korra refused to answer and merely turned her eyes onto the horizon once more.

A tense silence fell between them like frost. On her side Korra continued to stare at the inky waters of the ocean, her fingers absent-mindedly playing with the little flame burning on one of the candles; as for Liu, he scowled at the still unmarked grave for so long that she almost wondered if he had fallen asleep.

“Real asshole, that Amon.” The mustached man broke the ice at last.

“How’d you figure that?” The Avatar was so surprised that she couldn’t even get offended.

“With that manipulative talent he had of making people like him and then disappearing from their lives.” Liu grumbled, clearly hurt and defensive like he had always been.

Korra couldn’t help but snort, only half in sarcasm. “…Yeah, real asshole that hubbie of mine.”

“You should write that on the stone.” The old equalist spoke in a slightly slurred manner and used his walking stick to shakily jab at the pristine tombstone. “Amon, the asshole.”

“Are you drunk, Liu?” The Avatar wondered, vaguely curious. For some reason she felt more normal talking to the idiot that always bickered with her than she had felt with anyone else all week, possibly because he was the only one not treating her like porcelain.

“Not enough to start liking you, _princess_.” He retorted sardonically.

“Have any on you?” Rather than criticize, she hoped he would share.

Liu cocked a brow derisively her way, he rummaged in his coat pocket and tossed a beat-up metal flask her away. Korra caught the thing with ease and downed half the contents in the blink of an eye, the beverage was spicy and warmed her all the way to her core like tendrils of flame, leaving only a faint bitter aftertaste on her tongue.

“So what are you _really_ going to write?” The mustached man inquired, seriously this time.

“Who knows.” She shrugged again, taking another smaller sip of the drink. “He’s… he was the eloquent one, not me.”

“Can’t argue with that.” Liu snickered.

This time the silence wasn’t so frosty, in fact it was damn well near comfortable. Despite the obvious grief and the sensation unreality and outrage they both still felt, there was a sense of comradery as they passed the flask to one another and dwelled into their own thoughts.

Once again Korra wondered why, throughout this whole ordeal, she currently felt more at ease with that old geezer that had always irked her than she had with all her loved ones. Perhaps it was because they were both intimately connected to Noatak in their own way and were the two people in the world that could brag about having shared secrets with him and being able to understand him to some level, or maybe it was because they didn’t care enough about each other to try and be nice and supportive so there was no pressure.

“What will you do now?” Liu asked by the time the flask ran dry, he poured the last sip of booze onto the graze like an impromptu offering.

Korra sighed, that was the one question she didn’t want to answer, the one thing she found too painful to think about but all things considered she didn’t really have a choice. After all, that dark cold night would not last forever and soon she would have to face a new day… Without _him_.

“…I might take a break, disappear somewhere for a while.” Korra replied, as disconnected as possible and without looking at Liu.

Asami’s offer was becoming more and more tempting by the minute- some time away from home, from all the places that still held signs of his presence, some distance from the room that smelled like him, from the kitchen that held his snacks, the bookshelves with his books and from their photos on the wall, away from everyone else’s grief, from her own responsibilities and the many reminders of her loss… Korra doubted it would dull the pain or the outrage or even the emptiness but it seemed worth a shot.

“Huh.” The equalist looked genuinely amazed.

“What?” She retorted dryly.

“A vacation? I wanted to mock you but I’m actually tempted to steal that idea.” The mustached man shrugged, apparently considering the possibility.

“At your age that’s called retirement.” The Avatar taunted halfheartedly.

“Fuck that. Retirement is surrender, I’d rather die first.” The equalist stated snippily, as if he had had to explain that logic many times before.

“What are you waiting for then?” She deadpanned.

“Ouch, you wound me.” He raised a hand to his chest in a sarcastic mock of injury.

“You’ll live… Unfortunately.” The Avatar rolled her eyes, she didn’t mean a word of it but the banter felt… safe? Familiar? Comfortable?

“Heh.” Liu snickered and got up with some effort, having to use the tombstone itself for purchase before he could finally get his old bones back up; Korra actually felt sorry enough to want to help him but she was aware that he’d smack her if she tried. “Take care, Avatar Korra.”

The mustached man pat her shoulder with a bony hand and turned to leave, walking at a surprisingly fast pace for someone leaning on a walking stick and making way through tilted rocky terrain.

“Likewise, creepy mustache guy.” The Avatar returned.

“And keep it simple. Nobody really cares what’s written on a grave.” Liu added without turning back, already slipping into the blackness among the trees, his stick stabbing at crunchy fallen leaves.

Korra didn’t acknowledge the words or even look back, she was once again staring at the brand new tombstone, it was so dark that if not for the residual glow from the temple and the candles she wouldn’t have been able to see the thing at all except for the little stars reflected on it.

Suddenly she felt cold and hollow all over again even though the solitude felt peaceful. It felt wrong to feel anything positive at that moment or gather hope, it felt impossible to ever really be happy again but somehow the lack of scrutiny and people trying to coddle her was surprisingly welcome and the freedom to cry without having to put on a brave face was a relief even if she felt all cried out for the moment.

Without thinking, she grabbed the edges of the coat draped around her and pulled it closer to her body so she could bury her face into the fabric and inhale the familiar and comforting scent that nonetheless made her chest constrict, she wondered for a split second why Liu even had such an item with him.

“Was I too harsh to the old geezer?” The Avatar murmured, speaking to the only person she wanted to see but couldn’t ever again.

There was a long pause, filled only with the noise of the waves and crickets and a slight buzz of a boat on its way to collect people from the island to the mainland.

Korra imagined what Noatak would have said, how he would bluntly tell her that she had had no tact whatsoever but how at the same time he’d reassure her that the other party could take it, he probably would have smirked or laughed too since he always found banter between her and Liu to be incredibly entertaining.

“Nah, you’re right, he’ll live.” Korra mused as if replying to someone and, as improbable as it sounded, the imaginary exchange made her feel better. “…And you know what? So will I.”

With that she stood up with renewed resolved, she planted her feet firmly on the ground and in a few quick but precise movements she did her own part and carved something onto the grave with an elegance acquired after years of practice and an impressive accuracy even in the darkness. Korra didn’t stick only to the front of the tombstone either, she planned to follow Liu’s advice for once but she felt that if they were honoring Noatak then they had to honor all of him, not just the pieces they liked.

In the end the back of the grave, the side that faced the city across the water, now bared the name ‘_Amon’_ and the engraving of a long unseen mask. The front of the grave, the side facing the island, also held an engraved mask but very different one and read simply ‘Noatak’ in large Water Tribe script along with the fine print in Universal script that said merely ‘Beloved Husband, Father, Mentor and Revolutionist’.

With that done Korra took a deep breath and waited for the inevitable torrent of tears that were already stinging in her eyes, she thought she had had cried herself dry already but carving his name into that piece of rock just felt so… _final_. 

It was as if by doing that one last funerary ritual she was cutting her last tie with the hope that this might all be an illusion, it was like signing his death sentence herself, like admitting her acceptance.

Yet, no matter how much she hated it, no matter how much she wanted to scream, fight and fall to her knees and beg for his return, Korra found that all she could do was cry and accept that everyone was right- Noatak wouldn’t have wanted her to forget him but he also wouldn’t have wanted her to give up, he had told her to be herself and live on when their parting day arrived and as much as she hated doing so she acknowledged that if she really loved him then she had to do exactly that, she had to remember him but she had to move on too.

“Don’t think you’re off the hook, someday we’ll find each other again and I’m going to beat the crap out of you for leaving me behind. So look for me, will you?” Korra murmured brokenly to the wind.

She felt much more vulnerable than her words implied and hugged the coat to herself tighter. Without thinking the Avatar raised a hand to the choker around her neck, clutching the carved stone that hung from it to draw some strength from happier memories while she stared with wet eyes into that blackness of the horizon where the little burning boat had disappeared earlier.

“I miss you already, Noatak.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: This turned out 20x bigger than it was supposed to be originally, it started as a little blurb about mourning but it felt lacking so I accidentally turned it into a bit of a ‘stages of grief’ (denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance) sort of thing. 
> 
> Anyway, here are some notes about it.  
Whether Korra moves on romantically with Asami or whether they’re just very close friends supporting each other is totally up the reader’s interpretation. I also hinted at some ships but left most of the shipping stuff of other characters ambiguous enough to let everyone draw their own conclusions.   
Nilak’s baby was purposely not gendered or named to shroud that whole matter in further mystery, same goes for the bigger details of Noatak’s death. Both things are not really canon to the original fic but I have considered the full stories around them.  
A lot of original LoK characters are supposed to have died already by this point.  
That’s all I can think off for now but I’m sure I’m forgetting some note… Oh well, feedback is appreciated.)


	20. Jailbirds

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (This ficlet is a small spin-off scene from chapter 294 of ‘The Castaway’. Beware of language.
> 
> For equalistraisha and shootforthemoonpaper/Laughter’s Song. Thanks for the inspiration and motivation!
> 
> Summary: Chiyo, the puzzling and vacant-eyed Agni Kai bodyguard, and Raisha, the bounty hunter and chi-blocker equalist, end up sharing a cell as per Chiyo’s arrangement with Noatak.
> 
> Note: The character of Raisha -chi-blocking sensei, equalist and descendant of Jun, the bounty hunter- does not belong to me but rather to the lovely equalistraisha, she gracefully allowed me to insert her character in this universe due to the backstory we spun together between our OC’s.  
6,460 words. Enjoy.)

Beifong was not happy, then again lately she was never happy due to her own circumstances but at the moment she was particularly sour. To start with, being forced to do field work in the middle of night was guaranteed to make her grumpy but to make matters worse that infuriating masked man still dared to ask her for favors? He was supposed to be working under her, not the other way around!

To be honest, it wasn’t really the favor that irked her, the Chief did not negotiate with criminals but in return for valuable information this particular request was easy enough to fulfill and harmless to comply with… Well, harmless was not an accurate term- placing an equalist and a gang member in the same cell was generally a recipe for violence, not to mentioned that an Agni Kai would get eaten up in the section of the prison that housed nonbender criminals but Lin figured that the guards could move the prisoner if things proved dangerous for the stability of the facility, until then she was going to play along with Noatak’s insane requests no matter how bitter it tasted to admit that.

It’s not that she hated him all that much, it’s not that she had little faith in his strategic decisions, it’s simply that she now had the pressure and responsibility of being his superior and that coupled with some past resentments made it very hard for her pride to accept and admit his skill and reliability without compromising her commanding posture.

Yet in the end what had really soured her mood completely had been the prisoner herself.

Lin Beifong had heard of Chiyo before, several people in the police force had and even nicknamed her Beastly Chiyo, not only for her tall and disfigured appearance but also for so much more- she was infamous for her gang affiliation but also for her huge record of suspected crimes, suspected but never proven. As a matter of fact, Chiyo’s record was _technically_ squeaky clean even though everyone knew she was a thug, though one that knew how to clean up after herself even after the worst of berserker moments and the biggest problem was that the girl was well aware and confident of all this.

Chiyo did not show anger nor did her shoulders slump with dread or humiliation when the cuffs were smacked onto her wrists and ankles, in fact she let out a snarky ‘about damn time’ when the officers cut her out of the electric wire that trapped her to a chair and then, although famous for tending to be quite unconcerned and aloof, she accepted the metal restraints with an expression of challenge and amusement in her damaged face that was still smudged with blood.

Once at the precinct, she was hauled into dim interrogation room to be questioned by pair of veteran officers, yet when Beifong returned to work the next day she was told that Chiyo had remained silent and simply sat back with a condescending smile throughout the whole questioning, whenever they tossed facts and accusations in her direction she tended to give them a look that almost seemed like enjoyment.

Nonetheless, the hours she spend in that room were necessary for Captain Saikhan to complete the job the Chief had assigned to him- wading through prison records to find the particular prisoner that Chiyo had requested.

Despite her unusual height, disfigured state and the tattoo that associated her to the Agni Kai, Chiyo had very little else to connect her to… Well, anything. The girl’s age was estimated to be between seventeen and twenty-two but due to the lack of records and the extent of her scarring it was impossible to confirm, her fingertips seemed to have been burned too smooth to leave complete fingerprints, her name was too common to associate to any particular family as was the lack of a last name and she had no bending.

With such information, or lack of thereof, there was no next of kin to inform of her situation and no lawyer to call, not that one was needed- for all intents and purposes the police had no proof that she was involved in anything illegal, contrary to her ‘sisters’, and they could not charge her for anything that happened in the Paper Screen because all she needed to do was state that she merely did her job as a bodyguard and protected her patrons _after_ the violence commenced and they would have to release her.

Yes, Chiyo should have been released after questioning but if that were to happen she would not get what she wanted so Noatak helped out in the most ironic way- he filed a complaint for assault and named her as a suspect in aiding escaped criminals. Beifong had almost laughed at this considering that the masked man had likely hurt the girl much more severely than she had hurt him, but that didn’t matter, they had to follow protocol and in a matter of hours the Agni Kai was shipped off to the prison where she would remain until the charges were either trialed or cleared or she was bailed out.

The orders were very clear regarding the cell she was to be housed in and the guards did not find it all that strange seeing as she was indeed a nonbender regardless of her affiliations and therefore should theoretically fit into the nonbender section of the prison. Chiyo was even processed quicker than the average inmate because she was cooperative to the point of making her jailers doubt her sanity, she all but whistled as she was stripped searched and stuffed into rusty brown of prison garments.

The walk towards the cell was little bumpier, at first most inmates merely tossed curious and fearful looks at the newcomer but once the red flame tattoo on her neck was spotted things began to fly- bars of soap, shoes, rolled up balls of toilet paper, spitballs, pieces of writing charcoal, pieces of food and even unauthorized bottles and preserve cans flung from random cells as harshly as the verbal assaults shouted through the air. The guards didn’t like such level of instability but Chiyo didn’t seem bothered, her face was mostly vacant and she even caught some of the items thrown her way and cheekily thanked the assaulting parties for the ‘welcoming gifts’.

Things quieted only when the cell door slid open and she was pushed inside without further ado, having already been told about all the rules. After removing the chains, the guards closed the metal door with unnecessary force as a last attempt at intimidation but Chiyo merely rolled her eyes at the wasted effort and glanced around her cell with no small level of curiosity and butterbees starting to buzz lightly in her stomach from excitement.

The cell wasn’t as bad as she expected, for the average adult it was likely considered cramped and for someone as tall as her it should have been claustrophobic but it was practically as wide as the room she had grown up in, the toilet and water tap seemed clean and functional, the lack of a widow didn’t bother someone as nocturnal as her and although the bunk beds were hard metallic slabs with paper-thin straw mats and blankets chewed on by cattermoths, they were still better than sleeping on scuffed floors with twelve other people as she had for the better part of her life before getting her own place.

Sure, there was always that sense of danger that came with the fear that someone in that criminal-infested den could sneak up and stab her in her sleep but Chiyo was used to that too. The gang kids were taught to be as family and work well together, prizing each other over anyone in the outside world but rivalry was also encouraged among those kids as a way to see who was the strongest, who earned their meals, who could claw their way up, so it wasn’t rare to get ganged up on in the middle of night by another kid or two for whatever slight and Chiyo had long since learned not to let herself be caught off guard.

However, at the moment she didn’t care in the least about the conditions of her cell, the only thing she cared about was the figure lying in the lower bunk, facing the wall with short disheveled black hair fanning on the pillow and unnaturally pale skin standing out in the artificial lighting of the small space.

“If you’re expecting a welcome talk, forget it. Just stick to your side and I won’t have to paralyze you from the neck down.” The figure muttered without looking her away, clearly the person hadn’t realized who she was talking to yet.

“What? Not even a hello?” Chiyo commented with a chuckle, followed by a fond smile. “Glad to see prison hasn’t dimmed that spark of yours.”

The raven-head stiffened all of the sudden, as if the voice had sent a sudden electrical surge through her whole body, the woman then cautiously turned her head with lilac eyes wide and holding a mix of disbelief and murderous rage that twisted her pretty face.

“How the hell did you get here?” The pale woman’s eyes narrow with suspicion as she slowly rose like a predator from its slumber and sat on the edge of her bed.

“Got arrested, what else?” Chiyo shrugged playfully and crossed her arms, leaning against the wall.

“I meant, why the fuck are you in my cell?!” Raisha stood suddenly, hands balled into fists as she shouted.

“No need to get greedy. It’s _our_ cell now, doll.” The scarred woman grinned provocatively, completely unaffected by the outburst.

“Don’t call me that.” The other snarled angrily.

“You’ll always be my pretty little porcelain doll.” Chiyo teased with an excessively sugary voice.

“You lost the right to call me that when your kind destroyed my home!” The raven head was shouting again and moved forward so that she was face to face with the Agni Kai, her amethyst eyes burning with rage and the red snake tattoos on her shoulders peeking out almost menacingly from under the prison garb.

“Still bitter about that, huh?” The taller girl grimaced sheepishly.

“Bitter? BITTER?!” Raisha grabbed the other by the collar of her clothes, shaking the gangster violently before she began to argue cynically. “No, Chiyo, you just got my house, my livelihood and my most precious possessions destroyed and then ruined my mission. Why the hell would I be bitter about that?”

“Oh, come on! It’s not fault that the Triple T’s followed me and torched your place. Maybe if you didn’t have so many damn equalists walking in and out of the place they would have left you alone.” Chiyo didn’t try to shake the other off, she wasn’t fazed by the rage and merely pouted a little as if hurt in some childish way by the accusations. “Besides, I avenged you, didn’t I?”

“Avenged me?” Raisha finally let go and backed away with a look of disbelief and disgust. “You murdered a bunch of criminals in cold blood. So what? I never asked for that.”

“It’s not just the fact that I killed them, it’s the fact that went against gang code and murdered allies for personal gain, even if they were bottom-feeding trash. Do you have any idea what that cost me?” Chiyo was pretty certain that if the raven-head knew what Sura had done to her after that indiscretion she wouldn’t take the matter so lightly but seeing as Chiyo’s pride would never be able to handle recounting that tale, Raisha would never know.

“Like I said- I never asked you to do anything, I never wanted that blood on my hands! Not to mention that the world blamed it all on us, on the equalists! Suddenly, we were called murderers of benders too!” Raisha argued, her balled up fists shaking with rage.

“And weren’t you? You launched a massive assault on the city with heavy grade weaponry, you dropped bombs, planted water mines and razed neighborhoods. Were you really naïve enough to think there’d be no casualties?” Chiyo countered sheepishly.

“That’s not the point! If you wanted to make up for what you cost me then you should have listened when I told you to leave me the fuck alone.” The equalist crossed her arms as well, though in her case it was tight- a barrier against the other instead of a sign of overconfidence.

“I couldn’t.” This time there was real emotion in the Agni Kai’s voice, something determined and belligerent but bittersweet as well.

“You did just fine while I was caged in here.” Raisha waved at the walls that trapped them, her fury unquenched despite her calmer tone of voice.

“I’m not the reason your missions failed, I’m not the reason you’re in jail.” The criminal argued, sounding snarky and a little sour.

“I would still be a thousand times better off if I had never met you.” The raven-head retorted acidly.

“I guess we’ll never know, will we?” Chiyo retorted coolly but then her expression slowly morphed into a smirk of absolute certainty. “But don’t pretend you didn’t enjoy every minute with me.”

Raisha opened her mouth to vigorously protest but the words didn’t form so she swallowed them back and avoided eye contact for the first time, she had always been too honest for her own good. The equalist then sat back on her bed and decided to change the subject- “…How did an Agni Kai even end up in this block of the prison?”

“Struck a little deal with someone interesting.” Chiyo’s smirk turned into a wide grin of someone that can’t wait to speak about a particularly juice piece of gossip, it was a humorous expression but with the scars on her face it made her seem frightening and almost deranged.

“Who?” The equalist enquired, eyes narrowed suspiciously again and not the least bit impressed by the fearsome expression.

“Your former boss.” The criminal responded with a mocking flourish of her hand.

“Liar.” Raisha snapped at once, the fury returning ten-fold at the mere mention of the man she considered a traitor. “The Amon I knew would never do anything for gang scum and he doesn’t have that sort of power anyway.”

“Except he’s not the Amon you knew anymore, is he? He has lots of interesting new connections nowadays… Or have you lost all touch with the outside world in this past year?” Chiyo snickered, nodding in the general direction of the door. “Besides, he didn’t do me any favors, it was more in line of an exchange.”

“What?” Raisha’s anger hadn’t abated but she was intrigued- what could Amon possibly need from criminals like the Agni Kais?

“He’s in a bit of a pickle and needed info on my boss so I traded it for…” Chiyo trailed off, acting as if betraying her mistress like that was nowhere near as dangerous as it truly was and not nearly as important as what she got in return. At last she shrugged and said simply- “Well, for a chance to see you.”

“…Why?” Raisha’s hesitation was quite clear, her surprise washed over the anger and made her seem cautious and frustrated.

“Why do you think, doll?” The Agni Kai sighed and stared the other in the eye amorously.

“You’re crazy.” The equalist shook her head, unable to handle that intense gaze and unwilling to accept the feelings that came with it.

“Yeah. I guess I am.” Chiyo chuckled. “What else is new?”

“You’re going to get killed in here and I’m going to enjoy watching.” Raisha spoke with hostility but despite her anger, she didn’t sound all that honest.

“Meh, might be worth it.” Chiyo joked and shrugged once more, she had no intention of getting killed and thought that such an assumption hugely underestimated her skills but if she did then she’d go without regrets now. “What can I say? You’re the only one that can light a spark in me and I missed that.”

It was true, as a young child she’d been too rebellious and outspoken and it had cost her greatly but in time she learned what to do in order to survive and be the best. All her life Chiyo had learned to disconnect from things- she didn’t form real emotional attachments (other than Sura herself) as she was trained to do, not since she was a kid, she learned that utter confidence in herself was the only thing she could trust, she was expressive but such reactions were generally masks seeing as her emotions were always lukewarm and nothing ever really appealed to her for more than a fleeting, she was shameless in all accounts, she didn’t care for morality or ethics, she disconnected from any type of guilt and didn’t remember ever feeling remorse before meeting Raisha, not to mention that she had gotten used to pain and even used it to fuel her determination.

And then Raisha walked into her life, or better yet- rammed right into it in the middle of a rescue mission during the Equalist War to the very prison they currently inhabited. The Agni Kai’s were breaking out allies and the equalists took advantage of the confusion to break out their own people from right under Councilor Tarrlok’s nose.

At first Chiyo hadn’t cared all that much, the raven-head was a part of the enemy and wasn’t even her usual type physically but then she saw Raisha fight, argue and goad her opponents and suddenly there was a spark, a sense of inexplicable childish excitement that Chiyo didn’t even know she could feel and it made her curious, it made her greedily want something more than recognition or adrenaline for the first time in her life.

So she thwarted Raisha’s missions, she blackmailed, she set traps and even held hostages for ransom although she couldn’t care less about the risks or the rewards; it was all to be close to Raisha, to tease her, to rile her, to lure her, and before long they were circling around each other in a dance of enmity and spontaneous passion, their little power plays often intercalated with secret, and often romantic, trysts and the angry sex quickly turned into something more while they tried to unravel the puzzles that they were to each other.

“I always knew you were a sado-masochistic nutcase but this is insane even for you.” The equalist accused, a little shocked, a bit worried but also quite touched, though she’d never admit any of that.

“And here I thought it was romantic.” Chiyo chuckled playfully, taking things far too casually as she always did.

“Romantic? I hate your guts, why did you think being locked up in a cramped space with you would change that?” Raisha threw the other a bored and slightly annoyed glance.

“Aw, come on. You don’t really hate me.” The Agni Kai sashayed closer, leaning nonchalantly against the bunk and smiling charmingly at the other. “I know I push your buttons better than anyone and what we had can’t be gone just like that.”

“What we had?” The raven-head repeated with spiteful sarcasm. “Chiyo, I don’t know what you think we _had_ but I never loved a freak like you in the first place.”

“Not even a tiny bit?” The criminal didn’t seem convinced and smiled much too sweetly, lifting her hand and holding her thumb and forefinger half an inch apart to illustrate her words.

“We were on opposite sides of the war. We blackmailed, threatened and played each other for power. The fact that we shared some booze and fucked around a few times doesn’t mean I ever had any feelings for you!” Raisha retorted viciously, speaking with a cutthroat cruelty that Chiyo never thought she knew how to use. However, Raisha’s gaze flickered away as if she regretted her tone and soon she softened the blow by rolling her eyes and grudgingly admitting- “Sure, you were a good lay and you were… intriguing and exciting for a while, but that’s all there is to it!”

“You wound me, doll.” Chiyo held a hand to her chest in fake offense but her face was unperturbed and even snarky, the words stung in a way she didn’t expect but she refused to believe a single one. “When did you start to talk like that? You used to be the sentimental and idealistic one, when did you become so cynical?”

“Learned it from you.” The raven-head snapped back dryly.

“Ah-ha! I influenced you, so I did mean something you to you.” The taller woman accused victoriously and mockingly.

“What the…?” Raisha was taken aback and became flustered and confused by the nonsensical nature of the reply. “That’s not what I… You didn’t… I… That doesn’t even make sense!”

“Just admit that you missed me.” Chiyo finally sat next to the other, though there was still a large gap between them, she had to bend down awkwardly due to her height so she chose to casually lean sideways on the equalist’s bed. “Don’t you find it even the tiniest bit romantic that I got myself arrested just to be close to you?”

“What the hell do you even want from me?” Raisha muttered and refused to look at the woman beside her.

“Maybe I wanna win you back?” The criminal purred impishly. “I figured it would be obvious.”

“You can’t win back what you never had.” The equalist countered coldly.

“Ouch.” Chiyo once again pretended to be wounded with a dramatic flourish to her chest. “Come on, love, just give me a shot.”

“Why the hell would I do that?” Raisha asked, cocking a brow expectantly and unimpressed.

“You said it yourself- I might get myself killed in here, the least you can do you be a little friendlier. Consider it a dying wish?” The criminal requested in a much too sugary tone, fluttering her lashes with exaggerated humility on her marked visage.

“Fuck you.” The other retorted bitingly.

“I’d rather fuck you, if you get my drift.” Chiyo wiggled her brows suggestively and the tips of her fingers skated up the equalist’s arm.

“Ugh, you never change!” Raisha pulled her arm away quickly even though there were goosebumps blooming on her pale skin. She got up, trying to distance herself from the other.

“No, I don’t, and I’m sure you don’t either.” The Agni Kai followed and crowded the raven-head until the latter was trapped against the wall. Chiyo leaned down so that her face was barely an inch away from Raisha’s and murmured- “I’m sure the girl that gave me fire-lilies and preached about their meaning, the girl that liked to hold my hand for no reason, is still in there just waiting for something to let her loose.”

“That meant nothing. I was just gaining your trust.” The equalist argued and turned away as much as she could, refusing to look at the taller woman.

“You wouldn’t last a day with the Agni’s- you’re such a terrible liar.” Chiyo chuckled playfully, still much too close for comfort while twirling a lock of Raisha’s hair between her fingers.

“Fine.” The raven-head admitted reluctantly and slipped from the other’s grasp, trying to get as far away as possible in the tiny cell. “Maybe I did feel something but all that died the day your very presence destroyed my life.”

“I know you want to blame someone for all that happened but if you blame me you have to blame yourself too.” Chiyo was finally serious, the change happened so fast that it was jarring but suddenly she standing at full height and staring stoically at the other.

“Why?” The equalist wondered a little offended.

“Maybe my presence screwed you over but you being an equalist didn’t help and you stuck around me even though you knew what I was, you knew all the risks.” The Agni Kai’s expression never changed, nor did she move from that spot but her hands rested imperiously on her hips.

“Easy for you to say. At least I had honor, at least I was fighting for something good while you were just being a bully and bowing to bender scum.” Raisha accused harshly and passionately.

“Hey, don’t try to pull that self-righteous nonbender bullshit on me, don’t martyr our kind, I’m a nonbender too and I’ve always been on par with any bender!” Chiyo’s tone rose for the first time, her vacant expression turning unsympathetic as her patience wore thin. “And I suffered to have you close too but you don’t see me whining or placing blame.”

“Hmph.” The equalist huffed irritably but found it pointless to argue, or better yet- she found no words to counter those arguments; instead she crossed her arms stubbornly and turned her back on the criminal.

Chiyo took a long deep breath, willing herself to calm down and remember why she was there.

She normally didn’t argue with people, she was too certain of her own opinions to care what other people thought and if she had to change someone’s mind she often beat her points of you into them with force but it was different with Raisha- arguing with someone as pigheaded, and often self-righteous, as the equalist was always equal parts exhausting and entertaining, she liked those traits in the raven-head and she loved that Raisha actually made her feel engaged enough to want to argue with passion rather ignore everything, yet it could be tiresome and she was currently starting to feel like they were stuck in a loop of resentment, not to mentioned that she had slept in two days and it was starting to wear her down.

Without really thinking Chiyo moved closer, Raisha was facing the beds and the Agni Kai placed an arm on each side of the woman’s body, holding on to the top bunk to trap the equalist once more as she whispered tiredly.

“Rai-Rai… Why couldn’t we just face what happened together? I tried to avenge you, killed for you, and I’m here _in prison_ for you now.” Chiyo sighed again, shaking her head in silent regret. “What else do I have to do for you forgive me? What else do I need to do for you to start moving on and start being yourself again?”

“Since when have you ever cared about anyone’s feelings?” Raisha muttered, still stubbornly cold, but she did turn to face the other.

“Because it’s not anyone’s feelings, it’s _your_ feelings.” The Agni Kai explained with more honesty and affection that she had ever been able to show on her damaged face.

“What ever happened to no attachments?” The equalist enquired deprecatingly.

“I think I made it clear that you are the only exception, you are the one thing I ever wanted to be attached too.” And proof of that was that she had never killed without necessity, she had never taken so much pleasure in it either, not until the day she hunted down the people who destroyed everything Raisha owned and held dear- yet once again these were things she would never say out loud.

“Look what good that was to me.” Raisha waved at herself, indicating her prison uniform as well as her misery.

“Always a stubborn little minx, aren’t you?” Chiyo shook her head again and caressed a pale cheek with the tips of her fingers.

“Don’t touch me.” The raven-head tried to back away but she was still trapped and not only physically, she was starting to feel emotionally cornered too. “If you love me so much why couldn’t you just leave me alone like I asked?”

“Because I’m not a good person, I’m greedy and not that honorable.” The criminal replied, pressing closer with her hand now in the other’s hair. “Rai-Rai… Do you know how worried I was? I was willing to stay away from you because it was what you wanted, even if it killed me, but then that plague happened… Did you hear the details? This guy that took up Amon’s identity poisoned the whole city and benders were losing their skills and getting sick while people like us were dropping dead like flies.”

“What does that have to do with me?” Raisha swallowed dryly, not sure if she was nervous because of the memory of those dreadful confusing days or because of the closeness of the Agni Kai.

“I barely survived myself, I was on my last leg and if it wasn’t for the Avatar I don’t know if I would have made it.” Chiyo explained, a little lost in her own thoughts.

“Oh…” For a second Raisha’s stubborn act fell and she looked genuinely worried but then she caught herself staring at the taller woman and quickly tried to backtrack from flustered to uncaring. “I mean…Yeah, yeah, I got hit too. If you think this cell block is crowded now you should have seen it before that plague. So what?”

“So during all that the only thing that crossed my mind was you and whether you were safe or not, the thought that you could be just as sick or even dead… It… It did things to me. Horrible things. I had never felt like that before and it was more painful than any of this.” Chiyo waved vaguely at the scars imprinted cruelly on her face and body.

The honesty and suffering in her voice were eviscerating, those days of doubt and fear had been what made her decide to find Raisha again but just remembering them tore her apart- she had never had such intense feelings before, she had never been so afraid and confused and utterly crushed and therefore she hadn’t known how to handle her own emotions at the time.

“Huh... Well… Well, good, I hope it was a whole new level of agony for you.” Raisha bit back acerbically but it was so clearly a lie that even if she were not fidgeting and looking down it would have been obvious in her hesitant tone. “Now you know what it’s like to be human, like us normal people.”

“You don’t mean that.” Chiyo smiled almost imperceptibly and cupped the equalist’s face, tipping it so they were looking each other in the eye again. “You’re a crappy liar, remember?”

“Ok, so I’m lying. So what?” The raven-head admitted defensively. “It’s just because I’m a decent person and not a ruthless machine like you.”

“…” Chiyo sighed tiredly and ran a hand through her own toffee hair in mild frustration, she wasn’t a particularly stubborn person herself, at least she never had been in personal matters, but Raisha was as pigheaded as they came. “Ok, be mad. But we’re going to be living very closely to each other for a while, doll. I’ll wear you down eventually.”

“So you can break my heart again when you’re released?” Raisha accused bitterly. “’Cause I don’t believe for one second that you’ll be in here as long as I will.”

“Well, then I’ll break you out.” The Agni Kai promised with complete resolve. “After all, that’s how we met, isn’t it?”

“And if you get killed before that?” The equalist cocked a brow, attempting to look skeptical in order to hide her dread.

“Who do you think you’re talking to, babe?” Chiyo chuckled, utterly confident as always.

“To a cocky bitch. How do you plan to last a week without booze or drugs?” Raisha’s words came out as offensive as possible but she was now clearly concerned and Chiyo understood why.

The equalist was referring, of course, to Chiyo’s one physical weakness- her fondness for alcohol and narcotics was not recreational but rather an addition that formed as a way to dull the frequent discomforts, aches and ruthless pains that she suffered from all her life, a lingering after-effect of having so much of her body burned as a toddler and then being beaten into becoming a fighting machine.

“…” The Agni Kai hesitated.

She had thought about that matter long and hard on her way to the prison and, although her excitement to see Raisha had eclipsed everything else, the matter still terrified her in a way she never expected. It’s not that Chiyo didn’t think herself capable of handling the pain and it’s not that she feared not having her substances as a crutch, what really made her nervous was the withdrawal symptoms, she had only gone through that agonizing experience once before and didn’t want Raisha to see her that weak and pathetic if it happened again.

“Well?” The equalist insisted.

“I’ll handle it. It’s worth it.” Chiyo shrugged, acting casual and careless about the matter.

“You’re crazy.” Raisha spoke it as if it was simple fact and shrugged as well though in her case it was a sign of frustrated resignation. She then retreated back to her bed, trying to end the conversation by turning her back on the matter.

“Crazy for you.” The taller woman teased, acting playful and more relaxed than she really felt.

The raven-head grumbled something without thinking and Chiyo was curious enough that she sat behind the equalist and leaned close to speak into the woman’s ear.

“What was that? I couldn’t here from all the way over there.” She murmured jokingly, her fingers ‘walking’ up the equalist’s arm.

“You’re as snarky as him.” Raisha muttered dryly, more to herself than the other. “The rest of you couldn’t be more different though.”

“Him?” Chiyo raised a brow in mild curiosity.

“Liu.” The equalist replied with a sigh, she missed her old friend and mentor and the only reason she hadn’t reached out to him while in prison after she found out he was alive was because she was afraid their connection might get him in trouble.

“Who?” The Agni Kai was now tilting more to suspicion than curiosity, that little sigh had set alight her jealousy.

“Never mind. Forget I said anything.” Raisha quickly caught herself and shook her head, she already regretted saying anything about the suspicions she had been having before her arrest. After all, why should she tell Chiyo anything after everything that happened between them? And what if she was wrong? She didn’t want to open that can of maggot-worms without proof.

“I’m curious now.” More like annoyed, Chiyo was starting to wonder if this Liu was a rival for Raisha’s affections. She coached the raven-head into turning to face her.

“It’s nothing.” The equalist insisted, avoiding the other’s gaze and mentally kicking herself. Why did she have to bring the matter up? Why did she even care?

“Liar.” The criminal snapped and her rain-colored eyes took on that perceptive predatory look that was so typical of her, the eyes of a wild creature trying to read the movements of its prey.

“Look, what do I have to do for you to drop this?” Raisha asked irritably, hoping she wouldn’t regret her words even further.

“Let me kiss you.” Chiyo stated almost immediately with a victorious grin though her eyes still bore into the rave-head with suspicion.

“…Fine.” The equalist acquiesced a little reluctantly but not unhappy.

“That easily?” The taller woman backed away and the grin melted away. “What are you hiding?”

“Do you want to kiss me or not?” Raisha huffed impatiently.

“Was he a boyfriend?” Chiyo insisted, now quite irritated herself.

“Ew, no!” The raven-head made a disgusted face at the mere thought.

“Then…” The Agni Kai began to spout her next suspicion but was quickly cut off.

“Look, if you shut up right now I’ll…” Raisha hesitated for a moment and thought about what to offer, after a moment struggling with herself she sighed in defeat and finished with- “I’ll let you kiss me _and_ I’ll consider giving you a chance.”

Chiyo considered the bargain and after a moment of reflection she leaned down, taking in the tempting sight of the lovely pale equalist with her hair spreading like a halo of darkness on the hard cylindrical pillow, Raisha did not look like herself without her trademark obsidian lipstick but her lips were irresistible nonetheless and her lilac eyes didn’t show unwillingness.

The criminal’s intense gaze made the cheeks of the woman below her tint ever so slightly in rosy hues but she didn’t look away this time and stubbornly held eye contact.

Raisha did not have a low self-esteem at all but she was also not nearly as confident as Chiyo, she used to be but then the Equalist War had started turning into something darker and more violent than she expected and she had started to question her own ideals and loyalties until she no longer trusted herself to do the right thing; nevertheless, she was the kind that always tried to act as imposing and intimidating as possible, she stuck to her choices, she was always trying to project strength through her stubborn defensiveness and pro-active attitude but somehow Chiyo always had a way to innerve her and crack her defenses, she had never been able to read or understand the Agni Kai, it was part of the woman’s cryptic charm but sometimes it made Raisha feel vulnerable and exposed.

“Hm… Alright.” Chiyo accepted at last and swooped down for an unexpectedly passionate and devouring kiss, their lips molded together harshly between nips and suckled demands for more- she had missed the equalist too much to restrain herself and hummed with pleasure and approval when Raisha kissed back just as aggressively, allowing their tongues to clash and invade in a heated struggle while smooth pale hands reached for Chiyo’s rough scarred face out of reflex.

When the kiss broke the Agni Kai was smirking again, her lips tingled and she placed her hand over the one that Raisha held to her face, tugging it down to her lips so she could this time kiss the equalist’s palm while completing her previous statement with a simple- “…For now.”

She might not be stubborn by nature but this time Chiyo didn’t intend to forget about the matter forever, however, she was more than glad to let it go for the time being because she had something better to focus on- she had no qualms taking advantage of deals and blackmail to get close to Raisha but even _if_ she had been honorable enough to allow the equalist to open to her with her own free will, Chiyo was now certain that the raven-head really did want to be won back and was grasping at excuses to accept with her pride intact. Chiyo could work with that.


	21. 1100th Review Reward- Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (I started writing this ficlet a long time ago but never finished, then MalexisSomerholic mentioned this idea (and others that I might salvage someday) as the reward for the 1100th review and I just got inspired to add a little more to it and now I finally finished.
> 
> I still plan to write the ideas given for the other hundredth review rewards but I want to do so after the main story is over due to certain reasons, I only wrote this one now because I had already started it before it was even suggested and other people seemed interested too and I figured it was worth finishing for everyone’s sake.
> 
> So… For MalexisSomerholic.  
Summary: Happy birthday, Noatak.  
3,338 words. Enjoy.)

He heard the footsteps crunching over dry leaves before they even reached the door, he felt their presence long before they even came close to the house and he knew exactly who it was, after all they were never adept at hiding their presence and he’d recognize the sound of Korra’s proud stride anywhere. It was time to put away his book, there would be no more time or quiet to read once they arrived and it was getting late anyway, in fact he had begun to wonder where they had been all morning.

The lock clicked and the door opened to let in a storm of sound, the twins had always been noisy but lately they had grown fond of shouting their words on top of the ruckus they made running around, it was probably because their best friend in the whole wide world was slowly going deaf and the four year olds weren’t so good at adjusting to such a change so Noatak didn’t mind, he was just glad they weren’t fighting like so many siblings often did.

Not far behind came Korra, she was yelling at the boys to quiet down which ironically just added more noise to the confusion. She looked lovely in her messy sort of way, her hair was too long for her tastes again and she had gone back to ponytails which reminded him fondly of when he first laid eyes on her over twelve years before… She wore a cobalt sleeveless tunic with white wave embroidery over baggy navy pants, her grey boots dragged sand into the house and she was carrying a suspiciously large box in her hands.

Nilak was the only quiet one in the scene, the eleven year old was the last one to come inside as discreet as always and trying to blend into the background in her plain long sleeved lilac top, navy slacks and a washed out blue overskirt while carrying a simple paper bag; she tried to go unnoticed not out of discomfort but because she just preferred to watch and take things in in her own attentive way. She was smiling slightly, it was that little grin of someone that knows something that other people don’t, a grin Korra often claimed came from him, and it looked lovely on her little face that had begun to plump up lately.

Noatak was just about to enquire where they had been when the twins interrupted his train of thought by jumping onto the couch and tackling him enthusiastically, the former revolutionist was quite used to the roughhousing and caught the boys effortlessly but it felt strange to be in their spotlight all of the sudden as they tried to crawl all over him, both wanting to get his full attention and speaking right in his face.

“Daddy, daddy!” Screamed Kalle, pulling on Noatak’s clothes to get him to listen.

“We got cake!” Korei shouted for his part, bouncing excitedly on his father’s lap as both boys started talking loudly and animatedly over each other, tossing out a jumble of facts about how they had been in town with Korra and Nilak and brought home cake and who knows what else for some reason.

“Alright, alright, calm down, you two.” The Avatar admonished, laughing slightly and still holding the large square box in her hands.

“What exactly is the source of all this excitement?” Noatak enquired although he was quite certain he could guess the answer. “If it’s about cake, I could just as well have baked one here if you asked.”

“Actually, no, you couldn’t.” Korra rolled her eyes haughtily. “How sad is it if you have to bake your own birthday cake?”

“Excuse me?” One of his brows rose into an expression of disapproval just as the Avatar tossed off the lid of the box unceremoniously to reveal a fairly large dome-shaped cake covered in a generous amount of white and red frosting with golden moon-peach slices and red candles all around it.

“Happy birthday, Noatak.” Korra smirked and placed a soft peck on his lips before she set the cake down next to them.

“What?” It was more of a reflexive exclamation than a question and his lips tightened ever so slightly in disapproval. “Korra, I told you, I don’t want…”

“Oh, yeah!” Korei spoke right over him in reaction to his mother’s words, the four year old smacked his twin’s arm and, in unison, they let out a resounding- “Happy birthday!”

“…Thank you, boys.” As much as he wanted to argue with Korra he couldn’t do the same with the children that looked up at him with large expectant eyes.

The two kids hugged him, each one competing with the other over who hugged the biggest expanse of their father’s body but he wrapped his arms around both and planted equal kisses on their foreheads as a gesture of gratitude and affection. As much as Noatak disliked celebrating his birthday and remembering how much older he was than Korra, he couldn’t help but feel a swell of happiness in face of those innocent expressions and happy words from the children.

“Go get the gifts.” Korra shooed the twins off him.

“OK!” The reply came shouted in unison once more, their identical faces lit up as if recalling something particularly exciting and they ran upstairs in their clumsy childish gait.

“Gifts?” The curiosity in Noatak’s tone was laced with frustration once again.

“Meelo kinda helped them make something, Pema thought it was a good idea.” The Avatar shrugged off the topic.

“Happy birthday, daddy.” Nilak suddenly piped in, having silently moved to the opposite side of Korra and reached out to kiss his cheek.

“Thank you, Nilak.” The reply came more naturally and honestly this time and he held the girl in his arms though he also gave her a suspicious look. “You’re in on this ambush too?”

“It was her idea in the first place.” Korra teased.

“…” Noatak wasn’t sure what to say to that, his attention waved from the cake to the two women next to him. He wondered if there was even any point in arguing anymore, if Korra kept ignoring his protests after a decade then what were the odds that she would ever listen? “How many times do I have to say that I don’t want to celebrate my…”

“Well, you’re going to whether you like it or not.” Nilak interrupted bossily and plopped the paper bag she had onto his lap. There was a flash of colorful wrapping paper within it. “Here. For you.”

“Now, I wonder where you got that attitude from?” The former revolutionist chuckled slightly, examining the small package but still reluctant to accept it or open it.

“She’s right, it’s not fair that you’re the only one skipping out.” Korra added for good measure, pouting ever so slightly. “Besides, you can argue all you want but I know you looooove birthday cake.”

He really couldn’t argue on that account seeing as Korra was well aware of his weakness for sweets, a fondness that their children had inherited to an almost eerie level.

Korra seemed to take an overblown amount of pleasure in celebrating this dull day a week and a half after the Autumnal equinox, he never really understood why it was so important, but then again he liked paying attention to her on the date of her birth, he liked celebrating her existence so he logically assumed she felt the same way about his birthday… It was just a pity that he couldn’t feel the same.

“That so?” Noatak couldn’t help but snicker at the sheer amount of sass he was receiving from both women.

“Yeah. I for one am happy you were born. How would I ever live without you?” Korra added the last part in a tone of mockery but with a gentle honesty in the way she looked at him.

«You wouldn’t have said any of that twelve years ago.» He thought to himself, fleetingly recalling how much they had hated each other during the Equalist War as he still did every once in a while… He glanced at the two women next to him and the boys that rushed down the stairs and, in a brief moment of serenity, he realized that, all things considered, he was glad everything had changed so much. He really didn’t want to imagine where he would be had he continued in the path of Amon, partially because he could have died and partially because he could have won and after all those years neither option was particularly appealing anymore.

“Thank you.” The reply finally came out with fully honesty.

“That’s it? I bust out a romantic line like that and you just say thank you?” The Avatar crossed her arms and sulked ever so slightly.

“What else were you expecting?” Noatak chuckled, once again he was willing to bet he knew the answer.

“Mom’s right, you can do better than that.” Nilak stated while she waved at the twins to hurry up, they seemed to be arguing in whispers now that they had reached the bottom of the stairs.

“He’s just grumpy because he doesn’t want to get old.” Korra explained as she pinched her lover’s cheek jokingly.

“I _am_ old.” He replied very matter-of-factly.

“Bullsh-…” Korra coughed to censor herself with a glance at the boys before she continued. “I mean, _nonsense_, you’re still the man I fell for. Just a little greyer, is all.”

­­­­­­­“…” He hesitated to reply while she ruffled his hair, in the end he said nothing and merely looked at her with a stoic expression, trying to determine whether or not to be happy for her comment.

“What’s wrong? You can’t seriously be mad that we remembered.” The Avatar tossed her hands in the air in frustration.

“Quite the contrary.” The reply was out before he really thought it through but it was true- he was no longer upset, just too proud to know how to react. “I simply don’t know what to say.”

“Same as every year. What ever happened to your attention-loving silver tongue?” Korra shook her head and poked his cheek mockingly.

“I wonder that myself.” He stated in all honesty.

“You should have gotten used to this by now.” Nilak reprimanded. “In fact, you should get used to it because you have years and years and many many birthdays ahead to endure.”

“Let’s hope so.” Noatak graced his daughter with a soft smile and he did truly hope she was right.

“Hey, what are you two waiting for? If you don’t hurry we’ll have the cake without you.” Korra called for the twins, they had their backs turned and still argued in low voices.

Whatever the argument was, they chose to put it aside and ran over to Noatak, practically tripping over themselves to hold up their presents- Kalle’s was colorful finger painting of Noatak with what appeared to be a huge candle next to him on top of a little blob that could be a purple cake, there were also plenty stars and moons all over the place and stick figures of the twins themselves; Korei gift was a big panel of poster paper with a noddle collage shaped like a face and by the position of abundant splashes of glitter Noatak deduced it was supposed to be his likeness with the sparkly dust in place of his scars. There was also a big rudimentary handmade clay cup painted sloppily in red and black and likely to leak if any liquid was actually poured in it, it seemed to be what they had been arguing over but ultimately presented as a gift from the two of them.

He had no words, it wasn’t the gifts themselves that touched him, it was the amount of patience and effort that went into them, especially coming from two boys did not have the ability to stay still for more than five minutes. Noatak accepted the offerings and pulled both his sons onto his lap, between raspberry kisses, laughter and ticklishness, he showered them with an amount of affection that nobody outside that house would ever believe him capable of.

Next, Nilak insisted that he finally open her gift, Noatak expected a book since it was usually what Nilak chose to give every year and from the shape of the present that he fished from her paper bag he assumed he was right… But he wasn’t.

Once the unwrapped he saw that there was indeed a tome inside but it was no novel of any sort, it was a leather-bound ledger and the real gift was actually what came with it- an elegant long narrow box that contained a glass ink pot and a beautifully elaborate pen carved in dark wood and tipped as well as sculpted over in a mix of metallic hues of gold, copper and silver shaped into an intricate design. It was simply unique.

“Do you like it?” The young girl asked, biting her lower lip anxiously.

“Of course I do.” Noatak assured, pulling his daughter into a reassuring embrace that in turn made the boys hop down from his lap to play on the rug. “I’d love anything you give me but this is particularly impressive, sweetheart.”

“I’m glad.” Nilak smiled shyly but it was also a sneaky and victorious expression.

“That’s pretty damn awesome. Kinda makes my gift feel boring now.” Korra, who sat precariously on the arm of the couch, pouted in an exaggerated way but she was clearly just being playful.

“You didn’t know about this?” The former equalist was surprised by her reaction. After all, who else could have helped Nilak obtain such a present?

“Nope, she didn’t even let me help.” The Avatar pointed out, poking her daughter’s side in a teasing manner. “Little miss independent.”

“Then how did you find this, Nilak?” He wondered with vague curiosity.

“Uncle Liu gave me the idea and aunt Asami told me where to find the right store.” The girl mumbled a little awkwardly, probably upset for not being able to claim sole credit on the matter.

“Speaking of which…” Korra suddenly appeared to remember something and placed the small package she had been carrying along with the cake box on his lap. “There you go. Those are from the Temple.”

Noatak gave a ghost a of a smirk because even though this day tended to be celebrated only by the inhabitants of the house and even though Korra and the kids were the ones that insisted on it, the Avatar often made it her mission to remind all their other acquaintances of the occasion just to make sure Noatak got some positive attention. In his opinion it was a pointless gesture but he couldn’t deny that it was nice to be remembered every so often and to see the effort she put into the celebration.

The package from the Air Temple contained traditional celebratory treats of Air Nomad culture- fruit tarts. Tenzin’s children, most of which were no longer young enough to be called children, also made sure to send birthday wishes in their letters from wherever they were travelling to at the moment with the exception of Rohan who had always felt intimidated by Noatak but insisted on sending slightly more interesting tokens which this year meant he had sent a book, one of the current popular picks in Republic City’s bookstores.

Truth be told, Noatak had been getting gifts all throughout week thanks to Korra’s reminders to everyone, even though he pretended it wasn’t a big deal. Bolin had sent tickets to the premiere of a new mover, apparently it was supposed to be a big deal because it was meant to test out a new technique that gave color to the motion pictures; Mako always just sent the same boring little card out of minimal politeness that was more for Korra’s sake then Noatak’s but, as had become habit in the past few years, it came tacked onto an elaborate box containing a fancy scarf that was a present from the former prince Wu, a man that took up any opportunity give presents; Asami had sent a simple bottle of cologne that he had actually enjoyed more than he cared to admit; Liu had left a rather fine spice liqueur in his office at the academy but said no more about the matter; Anningan and Malina had showed up that very morning with a large box of rock candy from Omashu since they had visited the area on their way back from the North Pole; Tani and Chintak had given him a box of pastries from a popular shop near their parlor; Lin Beifong didn’t do gifts but Skoochy had sent a card in the name of the whole household; Suyin and Baatar had sent little bobbing metallic trinkets all the way from Zaofu, they were becoming a bit of a local craft and turning into tradition, Korra actually had a few peppered around the house.

All in all, there was no lack of attention but none of those tokens compared to the noodle portrait, the drawings, the clay cup and the pen, nothing was more important or more heartfelt than to Noatak than those little symbols of affection he received that very moment from the children that were his pride and joy.

“How very considerate of them.” Noatak commented, holding up a mouthwatering cream and plumberry tart that was one of Pema’s specialties before wrapping it up again and handing it along with the others to the twins with a simple order that they carry them to the kitchen. Once the boys were on their way, he glanced at the Avatar. “However, you mentioned a gift of yours?”

“You’ll get it later.” Korra smirked mischievously.

“Oh? How come?” He was surprised she wasn’t trying to show off and outdo everyone else already.

“Because…” She leaned closer and slipped onto his lap to whisper huskily in his ear- “You’ll have to wait until my clothes come off to see it.”

“I can hardly wait.” Noatak announced with a charming smile, his imagination already reeling with the possibilities.

“_Hardly_ being the key word.” The Avatar teased lecherously and laughed much too loudly.

Nilak cleared her throat, obviously picking up on the inappropriate atmosphere and nodding towards the birthday cake to change the subject, she was indicating that the twins were about to shove their gluttonous little hands into the frosting.

“Hey, hey, hey!” Korra called out before grabbing both boys from behind and pulling them away from the cake. “What do you think you’re doing?”

“We just wanted to taste!” Said Kalle defensively.

“Yeah, to see if it’s good!” Added Korei cheekily.

“Lunch first.” Noatak announced, repressing an amused grin.

“But daddy…!” Both twins complained in unison.

“Maybe just a little bit.” Korra conceded, eyeing the cake rather hungrily herself and giving Noatak a hopeful look.

“No, not even a little bit. You’ll all spoil your appetite.” Noatak countered right away and covered the confection despite the complaints and pouts all around him. He then carried the box to kitchen but glanced back and asked- “Who wants to help me make lunch?”

It was a dangerous question, all of the children immediately perked up and ran to the kitchen but their excitement to help meant there would probably be a mess to clean up afterwards when ingredients started to spill, food fights began, klutzy little hands misshaped things, energetic voices demanded incompatible flavors and began experimenting and confections started to get ‘sampled’ ahead of time. Yet, none of it mattered because to Noatak such a scenario was both amusing and endearing and soon he was delegating simple tasks to boys while teaching Nilak to make egg wraps as the Avatar sat on the counter making tea and keeping a close eye on the sweets.

It might not be romantic, it might not be fancy or organized, it might not be ideal, but for Noatak it was as good a birthday as it could possibly be.


	22. Then and Now

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For Polyx, simply because she deserves all I can give her.
> 
> Noatak dwells on a memory of his childhood only to see the stark contrast it makes with that of his children.   
Note: This is a mix of angst and abuse that then turns into family fluff.
> 
> 3,427 words. Enjoy.)

_He hears his father’s footsteps in the distance, they crunch heavily on the snow as the man strides around the white dune with purpose in search for something or someone. Dread fills him to the core but not for himself- Noatak isn’t all that afraid of Yakone but he’s afraid of what the man might do to Tarrlok if he witnesses the latest failure._

_They had been building a huge snow monster up in that dune above their home in the early hours of the morning before their father showed up and barked the usual orders, he told them to practice the waterbending forms they learned the day before and the pair was at it for a good three hours before he returned to check on the progress._

_“Show me.” Yakone’s grating voice snaps at his eldest son and Noatak nods, silently and obedient as always._

_It’s quite simple, the new move demands focus and fluidity in his movements but the ten year old Noatak has been able to do this easily for a year now, in fact, he could achieve it effortlessly with minimal gestures if he so desired seeing has he is becoming slowly more in tune with the water through his mind rather than his body. The pride he feels in his confident moves and the power the water gives him is almost addicting, if it were not for the scrutiny and oppression of the person surveying his efforts he might actually feel happy._

_ After several minutes Yakone stops him with a gruff gesture of his own, he must be in a bad mood if he won’t he say a word of praise or share some minor correction but Noatak obeys and steps aside quietly, making sure not to look the man in the eye and not to take too long to move, lest his delay irritate the adult further. Yakone then calls his youngest son forward with the same rough order on his lips._

_Tarrlok is only seven and despite all the practice he still can’t quite pick up the subtleties of the movements that their father tries to impart and the liquid he tries to bend keeps wobbling almost as much as his little legs whenever he changes stance. Noatak finds it unfair that their father expects the boys to be on the same level despite the age gap and he tries his best to help Tarrlok improve by coaching him and guiding him whenever father is not around but despite his efforts his little brother still has a long way to go and they both know it._

_The boy is starting to shiver, not from the artic temperature but out of fear- he’s getting distracted by their father’s cold eyes and stern frown and nearly stumbles and falls. Noatak tries to salvage the situation by bending the snow beneath his brother’s feet to help steady him, he tries to make sure Yakone won’t notice because often berates him for interfering, luckily it seems to work._

_Emboldened by his success, Noatak moves a little to the side and out of his father’s line of sight, he then catches Tarrlok’s eye and moves slowly, trying to guide the boy’s movements but Yakone notices this time and turns to the older brother angrily._

_“Stop that right now! He’s had enough help, if he hasn’t memorized the moves by now then he’ll practice them all night until he does.” The man states irately and without mercy._

_“He knows the moves, I just… I just mirrored them without thinking. I’m sorry.” Noatak quickly apologizes, not for himself but to keep his intrusion from leading to punishment for his baby brother._

_Yakone grunts something rude but mostly unintelligible and turns back to Tarrlok, making a gesture to indicate that he should try again. _

_The little boy is too nervous this time, he tries to start from the beginning with renewed focus but he’s having a hard time thinking about anything other than the prospect of being out in the cold alone all night long even if during this time of the year the sun doesn’t actually set. Noatak says nothing, he does nothing and shows nothing on his face other than encouragement, yet in all honesty he feels like his heart is twisting in his chest, he so desperately wants to help but fears that he’ll just make matters worse._

_“This is pathetic, Tarrlok. Your brother can do this with his eyes closed and out of reflex by now.” Yakone admonishes roughly at the little boy, his voice climbing in volume as his frustration rises. _

_“Dad, he’s still small. He’ll get it right.” Noatak defends just as Tarrlok begins to shrink back on the verge of tears. _

_“That is no excuse for incompetence and disrespect. If he had trained like I ordered instead of making snow sculptures he would have it right by now!” The father argues irately, how dare they talk back at him? He turns to the youngest boy again, shaking a raised fist. “If you don’t start concentrating, I’ll…”_

_“He can do it. Just give him another chance.” The eldest son pleads, suddenly quite scared that he might have made things worse for Tarrlok like he always does simply for being older and more talented, for speaking up, simply for being there._

_Yakone snarls and glares at his eldest son, apparently more irritated at being interrupted than he is at the younger child’s incompetence but with his last shred of patience he gives Tarrlok another chance to do things right._

_“Fine. You, go home.” The man points at Noatak and gestures sharply towards the little house in the distance below them, he then turns and points at Tarrlok. “You, do it again. And do it right this time.”_

_By now little boy is so scared that he can barely raise his arms to bend, his movements are tense and frightened and not at all fluid as a waterbender should be. Yet, he squares his little shoulders and tries his best, attempting to look only at the water and ignore the tall stern man that sticks out on the blindingly white landscape like a sore thumb._

_Noatak really can’t take it anymore, he pretends to walk away towards home but instead he hides behind the snow monster they had been building so he can watch from a distance once Yakone is focused solely on his second child. When Tarrlok starts to fumble again, he moves without thinking begins to bend the water from a distance, making it move as if Tarrlok was doing it himself. _

_He hopes that since their father can’t feel the element anymore, maybe he won’t notice who’s really doing the bending, maybe he’ll actually believe that Tarrlok is finally doing it right, after all, they’ve gotten away with this in the past, maybe this time they’ll get lucky too… _

_After a few minutes, Yakone raises a hand for the boy to stop and begins to walk away. Tarrlok appears to sigh in relief and his legs give out so that he kneels on the snow, still quite shaky; as for Noatak he feels himself relax at last and hopes that the ruse has satisfied their father._

_He’s just about to rush home before he’s caught hiding when suddenly someone grabs him by the wrist and pulls him so abruptly from behind the childish construction that he stumbles through it and half the monster collapses. _

_“You thought I wouldn’t notice? How many times do I have to tell you not to help him?” Yakone shouts, pulling his eldest son to him while Tarrlok begins to run over only to stop several feet away, too afraid to get close to the man’s rage. _

_Noatak cries out in surprise and pain from the twisted position in which his arm is held in the grip of his furious father but the man isn’t done yet._

_“It’s all your coddling that makes him lazy!” Yakone yells in his firstborn’s face, pointing vaguely at Tarrlok’s direction while shaking Noatak. “How many times must I punish you both before you learn not to disobey me?!”_

_The eldest son never actually struggles, he’s too scared and a starting to get pretty angry too, but Yakone acts as if the pained expression is a challenge and shakes the boy again, flinging him onto the ground by his arm so harshly that there’s an audible crack before Noatak even lands with a thud in the snow, suddenly yelling and clutching his hand to his chest in pain._

_Yakone seems about to scold some more, maybe even dish around a smack or two before choosing a punishment, but he realizes something is not right- even at such a young age Noatak is not the kind to curl in fear and he is doing just that. The man sighs in frustration, perhaps even a little concern, and crouches down beside the boy._

_“Show me.” He orders but Noatak just shakes his head, curling up further. “I said- show me!” This time he shouts and the boy flinches but cautiously begins to sit up._

_He doesn’t want to show the injury, he’s afraid that his father might make it worse, but he’s more afraid of angering the man further and risking having Yakone turn his attention on Tarrlok again so he slowly uncurls and start to extend his injured hand- he can’t move any of his fingers without excruciating pain shooting from the wrist so it falls limply at a slightly wrong angle and though it’s too early for bruising to bloom, in the gap between his glove and his sleeve he can already see his dusky skin reacting to the painful grip and the twist._

_“It seems broken.” Yakone frowns as he examines the injury, it’s hard to read what’s on his mind but his rage seems to have evaporated completely. Is he concerned? Disappointed? Annoyed? “I’ll go get a splint from the trader. You go ask your mother to heal it.”_

_Noatak swallows dryly and nods, tentatively getting up before he starts to walk down the dune and towards home, he doesn’t want to turn his back on his father, he’s afraid to be caught off guard if he does, but Yakone is already turning his back and striding quickly towards the village. Noatak starts walking slowly, trying not to jolt the injury, and he practically stumbles on Tarrlok who is actively sobbing on his knees both from fear and guilt while hiding in the curve of the dune._

_“You heard dad, let’s go home, Lokki.” Noatak murmurs, using the affectionate nickname to try to calm his little brother before the waterworks make him crack too, not crying is hard enough as it is with all that pain but he doesn’t want to make Tarrlok feel worse by giving into it._

_The little boy hiccups but nods and gets up, quickly trying to help by supporting his big brother as they walk at a clam-snail’s pace back to their home. Noatak wants to cry more than ever but instead he just hisses each time they sink into a particularly deep patch of snow and stumble a little, all the while clutching his wrist to his chest while Tarrlok sobs and starts apologizing compulsively. _

_“I’m…s-sorry… I’m so…sorry…” Tarrlok hiccups the words, gulping down little breaths while tears and snot cover his face._

_“Stop, stop.” Noatak pleads. He’s not asking for them to stop walking, he just can’t take the apologies anymore. _

_However, Tarrlok misunderstands and stops moving but that works too because it gives the older brother a chance to wipe away all that snot and tears with the sleeve of his good arm before he leans down to look the boy in the eye._

_“Never apologize for anything he does, you hear me? NEVER.” Noatak admonishes with serious eyes and anger in his voice that they both know is not directed at Tarrlok, he then gives the boy a one-armed hug and a adds in warning- “And don’t tell mom.”_

_“What? But…” Tarrlok begins to argue, looking horrified, but is quickly interrupted._

_“No, Lokki! If we tell mom, she’ll just worry more and he’ll get angrier. Do you want that?” The older brother actually raises his voice but unlike with Yakone, the younger boy doesn’t flinch. “If she asks you say that I was trying to put kumquat eyes on our snow monster and fell. That’s it, ok?”_

_Tarrlok hesitates, clearly torn and terrified but he nods, already starting to cry like the child he is while hiccupping a sad and resigned response. “…Ok…”_

_Noatak gives him an approving nod and they start walking again, they don’t get to say anything else because in a few more steps they are close enough to the house that their mother hears Tarrlok crying and runs out in a panic._

_Aga spots them right away and rushes over, asking what happened and her eyes go wide when Noatak quickly blurts out their lie and his brother keeps sobbing inconsolably. The woman slowly peels the glove from her firstborn’s hand and checks the injury that is rapidly swelling and beginning to show the first signs of extensive bruising, she gasps and quickly guides him inside with Tarrlok on their heels._

_Once Noatak is sitting by the fire with his little brother clinging to his sleeve, their mother begins to waterbend, enveloping the older boy’s hand in a blue healing glow as she attempts to fix as much of the injury as possible. _

_Yakone arrives sometime later with healing salve and helps immobilize the wrist with wood splints and bandages, he looks like the perfect image of a caring and concerned father and takes on the lie the boys have told with practiced ease, he even excuses them from practicing their bending until Noatak is completely healed because he knows his wife would be unhappy otherwise. Yet despite this image of a caring household, there is darkness haunting them all, even the clueless mother seems to feel something wrong in air…_

_~~~~~~.:oOo:.~~~~~~_

“Noatak?” A voice snapped him out of his reverie and the Avatar’s head suddenly bobbed into his line sight, apparently she had been calling him for a while. “Hello~?”

“Do you need something, Korra?” The former equalist blinked and removed his mask to look up at the newcomer. He spoke a little hoarsely as if he had just woken up but didn’t recall falling asleep, in fact he wasn’t sure if he had been dreaming or merely reminiscing and immersed in old memories but he rubbed his wrist reflexively and sat a little straighter in the widow-side chair.

“No…” The Avatar trailed off and examined him with curious eyes. Her long hair was in the loose braid she gotten used to wearing lately with beads on the bangs that framed her face and as she watched him she began to play with one of said beads in a pensive way in response to his strangely distracted mood.

They had been visiting the North Pole, the royal palace to be exact, for a couple of days now and after a boring meeting with her cousins about a portal matter the last thing Korra expected was to find her lover dozing off while their children played in the snow just outside the window of the Avatar’s guest room. Normally he wouldn’t drop his guard like that in a foreign place, even if Nilak was already old enough to watch over her brothers and sister as they threw snowballs at each other.

Yet, Korra couldn’t find anything wrong with him, she did, however, notice how he kept unconsciously rubbing his left wrist.

“Does it still hurt?” The Avatar wondered out loud and when he gave her a questioning look, she nodded towards the hand in question. He had complained about it earlier in the day and she knew that in the last couple of years the colder it got the more his old injuries began to act up.

“No, not that much.” Truthfully it wasn’t exactly pain, his wrist was simply one of the many body parts that had been injured enough over the years to start cramping when the temperature got too low.

To be honest, the fingers and ribs that he had broken in the boat explosion seventeen years prior and the shoulder that had been dislocated four times throughout his life were actually much more uncomfortable in the sub-zero climate and the only reason the wrist bothered him so much was because the current setting was too nostalgic and brought back unwanted memories.

“You sure?” Korra sat beside him and lifted his hand gently to her lap so her overly warm fingers could rub soothingly on his wrist.

“I’m sure.” He guaranteed lightly and gave her a distant little smile. “How was the meeting?”

“Boring. Just some weird Spirit activity around the portal.” The Avatar shrugged, still caressing his hand but worried about his distant expression and tone of voice. “You sure you’re ok?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Noatak enquired, raising a quizzical brow in response to her concern.

“Just a feeling.” She shrugged but when he spoke no further she glanced out the window towards a large courtyard where the kids were playing. “They seem to be having fun. I see Shikou got over her tantrum.”

In that courtyard Korra spotted Nilak using waterbending to make snowballs for her small siblings while each of them hid behind clumsy snowmen and flung the balls at one another.

“They are. Shikou still detests the cold but she certainly enjoys throwing snowballs at everybody and dunking ice into their clothes.” Noatak explained a little more relaxed now.

Shikou, now three years old, had been throwing little tantrums ever since they arrived at the North Pole because it was her first time in place with such low temperatures and she absolutely hated the cold and the stuffy clothing with a passion. The twins, on the other hand, loved the snow and quickly taught their baby sister to enjoy it by taking advantage of her mischievous side- as soon as Shikou discovered she could throw snow at people and not get into too much trouble she became more cheerful and when she found out that people tended to squeal and shriek when she shoved that same white sludge into their clothes, she definitely started having fun.

“That’s so cute.” Korra chuckled and watched the three year old throw a ball with usual strength for her age, nonetheless it would have missed if her brother hadn’t let it hit him on purpose.

“Tell me that after she’s shoved a handful of frozen slush in your pants.” The former equalist frowned a little, he looked almost sulky.

“Did she really do that?” The Avatar chuckled and when he nodded and pointed at the stain that still hadn’t totally dried off in his charcoal slacks, she started laughing boisterously. “Oh, Spirits, I wish I’d seen that!”

“Well, it certainly amused the boys.” He added with a mollified chuckle.

“What about Nilak?” She wondered curiously.

“Not very amused seeing as Shikou had just shoved a snowball into the back of her top and she was hopping around trying to get it all out.” Noatak replied with a slightly more roguish smirk while Korra burst out laughing even harder.

“And in the middle of all that excitement you still dozed off?” The Avatar spoke between chuckles, still trying to figure out what was wrong.

“I wasn’t really sleeping.” He defended calmly.

“Right.” She mocked playfully.

“I wasn’t. The children simply started making snowmen and I ended up deeply immersed in my thoughts while I watched them.” The former equalist explained, looking at the kids rather than the lovely Avatar beside him.

“What kind of thoughts?” Korra asked, tilting her head with curiosity in her cerulean eyes.

“Nothing that matters.” Noatak shook his head as he watched the boys run for cover when Nilak joined the snowball battle, he then looked at the Avatar and smiled honestly albeit a little sadly. “Not anymore.”

Korra stared at him for a moment, her expression was hard to read but she was clearly picking up on the mood and after all their years together she knew him well enough to understand that a lot was going unsaid.

“Come on.” Rather than dwell on the matter further, the Avatar got up and decided it was time to distract him, she grabbed both his hands and pulled him along towards the door, intent on joining the rest of the family for an epic snowball war. “Let’s show them how it’s really done.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: The memory Noatak is thinking about here is actually vaguely mentioned in chapter 252 of “The Castaway” in case you are curious.   
Also, if you’re wondering- Noatak is 57 years old here, Korra is 34, Nilak is 16, Kalle and Korei are 9 and Shikou is 3.)


	23. Sugar

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (For all the loyal readers that still bother to read these ficlets.  
Nilak gets sick and Korra discovers some troublesome things she didn’t know about bloodbenders.  
4,373 words. Enjoy.)

Korra was on the verge of panic and such a state was not easy to come by for the seasoned Avatar that she was. In fact, at the age of thirty-one there really was only one thing that could mess with her nerves- her family’s wellbeing.

With a sigh, the Avatar finished tying her little son’s wolftail and made sure both boys were fully dressed after an improvised breakfast of oatmeal and juice, rushing to get both rambunctious children ready in record time before she called Lisu over. It was supposed to be a morning off for her to hang out with the children but Korra had a feeling she’d soon have her hands full with something more worrisome so she requested that the sentry take care of the kids for a while and though Lisu was clearly on-duty, she didn’t mind taking the six year old twins along with her own daughter and leave them with Liu for a few hours. Normally Korra would have objected to such a thing but not this time, for once she had no qualms about bothering the mustached equalist with the care of her children.

Once the boys were gone, she went back to the source of her fear- Nilak. The young teen was asleep on the couch, looking so pale that she made a strange and abnormal contrast with Korra’s own dusky skin, her face was practically ashy without the usual dark blush on her cheeks and there were dark pits under her eyes.

Korra didn’t know what was wrong, her daughter was clearly sick but she couldn’t figure out why, she had tried to water-heal but it didn’t work all that much and Nilak did not have a fever or any discernible symptoms or injuries to pinpoint to any specific illness. It was making the Avatar frantic with concern.

It was ironic that the current situation was stressing her out considering how much more dangerous the previous few days had been- Noatak was away in the north of the country on some assignment for Beifong and had been for the past week, meanwhile Korra had been called to handle a problem with a recent criminal group that had taken a liking to using Republic City’s Spirit wilds as hideouts for their activities and thus disturbing the Spirts living in them. The president feared that if they weren’t stopped, these criminals would encourage others all over the nation to follow in their footsteps.

Despite it being her duty, Korra was aware that she couldn’t take the job alone, she was halfway through a pregnancy and though it barely showed at all she couldn’t risk taking on a fight in that state without back-up, not again anyway and not if she could help it. Asami was out of town and so was Bolin along with the airbenders so Mako was her sole source of support in the task until Nilak insisted on helping too because Noatak had told her to ‘keep her mother safe’. It seemed harmless to accept seeing as the Avatar considered the girl old enough to pull her own weight.

The mission had been surprisingly easy- after some failed negotiations and ultimatums towards the criminal group and the discovery that they were actively poisoning the wilds and pushing out the Spirits that lived there, Korra decided to get pro-active and used her sensing abilities on the vines to find the opponent’s main hiding place in order to take it by storm.

It hadn’t been all that simple to get in since the dilapidated buildings were labyrinthine and unstable, the sentient plant and Spirit life had been so mistreated that it had become aggressive and the group was forced to split up with Mako taking the lead and Nilak disappearing halfway through the mission. Korra found herself bending defensively to keep her opponents at bay when they suddenly came out of nowhere though there were surprisingly few of them in her side of the squabble and she found the leader in record time, it was almost eerie how easily it ended.

All in all, between the investigations and the actually fight, the whole thing had taken little more than two days and by the end of it Mako was making arrests and getting the police more deeply involved once they had enough evidence to move while Korra took her time to heal the wilds and make peace with the disgruntled Spirits. Nilak had barely been seen during the whole ordeal although the Avatar was under the impression she had indeed stumbled into a fight as well but she seemed perfectly fine and as they wrapped things up the girl had been quiet and said very little on the way home.

The day after the arrests, Korra had to be present at the police HQ for the case wrap-up and to give her own report about the situation and when she got home in the evening with containers full of take-out spicy noodles, she was greeted by utter chaos- the floor was littered with crumbs, crushed rice crackers, sticky puddles of juice and pudding, crumpled pieces of paper and misplaced toys, Naga had stayed home since Mako gave Korra a ride but the polar bear dog was now dirty and licking what appeared to be melon milk off the floor, objects were flying through the air and a cacophony of war cries made it hard for anyone to hear themselves think. Apparently the twins were using Naga as well as piles of Noatak’s books and upended furniture as improvised forts while they played some sort of war game that involved chucking toys and snacks at each other and making a mess.

The Avatar could have almost found it funny if she wasn’t tired, nauseous and aware that she’d have to be the one cleaning up, so instead she got irritated, scolded the boys and asked where Nilak was since she was supposed to watching them and was therefore responsible; the only reply Korra got was that the teen was asleep and that in itself was worrisome.

As a baby and a little child Nilak had been a heavy sleeper just like her mother but once her bloodbending abilities began to manifest she had become as much of a light sleeper as Noatak and any little thing woke her so the fact that she had dozed off on the sofa while the twins made a racket around her made the Avatar rush to the girl’s side only to find that Nilak looked strangely pale and worn-out.

Korra had woken her daughter, coached her to sit up and asked what was wrong but the only answer she got was that the teen was tired even though it was obvious that she was dizzy too since sitting up made her sway unsteadily, nonetheless Nilak insisted that she was fine. With no small amount of worry, the Avatar had accepted the answer and not long after she had tried to feed the girl but while the twins slurped up noodles greedily, Nilak just didn’t seem to have much of an appetite though her stomach seemed to disagree since it growled audibly.

Water-healing was attempted but Korra couldn’t really find anything to heal so she decided to let her daughter rest while she gave the twins a bath and herded them to bed where she told a rather over the top story until they dozed off. She didn’t have the energy to tidy up the house even if her body hadn’t already been protesting from being on her feet all day and, not for the first time, the Avatar wondered how Noatak ever managed to keep any order at home with three kids when she was away on assignment since it felt almost impossible for her.

Once the boys were out like lights, Korra returned to her daughter and tried to get the girl to bed but even with Naga’s help Nilak seemed too drained and woozy to move and the Avatar knew that if she tried to carry the teen to bed then she’d get yelled at later for heavy lifting in her condition so she just sat on the couch with Nilak’s head on her lap and the polar bear dog at her side, she watched over the girl until they both fell asleep. Korra woke up several hours later with a sore back and a kink on her neck but Nilak looked exactly the same.

That was how the Avatar found herself in her current predicament- as soon as the sun was high enough in the sky she had grumpily woken the twins and made arrangements for them so she could focus on her daughter but once she was alone with the girl who refused food all over again and once another session of water-healing failed she still couldn’t figure out what to do and was merely pacing back and forth while trying to think of her next move, all the while Naga kept watching her and whining at the Avatar’s distress. Korra had just decided to take Nilak to the mainland and head for the hospital when there was a dry click from the front door and someone came in.

Noatak was home.

“Finally!” Korra rushed to his side and smacked him not-so-lightly on the chest. “You said four days, it’s been eight!”

“I said at least four days, ten at most.” He corrected, already accustomed to Korra’s complaints about the time he was away, Noatak then slipped off the mask and planted an apologetic kiss on her cheek. “Hello to you too, my love.”

“Sorry, I’m just stressed out. Welcome back.” She stood on tiptoes woodenly in order to place a peck on his lips.

“Thank you.” He returned that kiss but eyed her with curiosity before glancing around the house, mildly surprised by the mayhem even though part of him had been expecting it. “Stressed out about what? And what exactly happened here? Is this a house or a battle field?”

“The twins made a mess yesterday.” Korra waved the matter away dismissively and began to drag him to the sofa. “Anyway, that’s not important. Nilak is sick.”

“Sick?” Noatak was immediately on alert and quickly spotted the limp form of his firstborn lying on the couch next to the massive polar bear dog. “How so?”

“She’s been like this since yesterday, she says she’s fine but does she look fine to you? All she does is sleep and get dizzy and won’t eat. I had actually just decided to take her to a hospital when you walked in.” Korra rambled on nervously, gesticulating towards the teen and then the general direction of the mainland.

Noatak glanced at Korra’s pinched expression of concern with a worried look on his own face, he then crouched down next to the sofa and shook their daughter lightly until Nilak groaned softly in protest and raised her hands to rub the sleep from her eyes before finally looking at her father with a weary face.

“Daddy… Missed you.” Nilak tried to smile when she realized who had woken her but it was weak and fatigued and her eyes were barely open.

“I missed you too, Nilak.” He returned in a gentle tone, caressing her matted hair and surveying her with penetrating eyes. “Your mother tells me you’re sick. How are you feeling?”

“Just tired…” Suddenly the girl’s gaze shifted away and her voice trailed off softly, guiltily even.

“Don’t lie, Nilak.” Korra reprimanded sternly and impatiently.

“Ok, so I’m little dizzy too. No big deal.” Nilak shrugged defensively, practically pouting.

Noatak seemed to be examining the girl with an impassive expression, he gently took her hand and placed it on his own marked one as if scrutinizing the difference between them, he was no longer as pale as he had been as Amon but remained considerably fairer than Korra and at the moment their daughter’s skin seemed to match as his which was strange seeing as she had always been as flawlessly dark as the Avatar herself. At last his eyes narrowed and his face hardened in a way that made Korra shiver with foreboding.

“…Black clouds in your vision?” Noatak asked sternly, more annoyed than concerned now, his icy gaze intent on the teen’s face.

“Hm…” Nilak hesitated for a moment but ended up allowing her shoulders to slump and nodded meekly.

“What? What do you mean?” Korra was suddenly alarmed and watched the former equalist stand up and stride purposefully to the kitchen, she followed in utter confusion. “Noatak, what’s going on?”

Without replying, he grabbed a large cup and filled with water before mixing and stirring in generous amounts of something she couldn’t see from where she stood, he then walked right back to Nilak and placed the cup in her shaky hands ordering her to drink. Korra watched with curiosity yet was quickly growing frustrated because nobody seemed to want to answer her questions.

The girl took a sip only to gag almost immediately and make a disgusted face. “Eww…”

“Drink it all, Nilak.” Noatak ordered, unaffected by the reaction.

“But it’s sugar water, it’s gross.” Nilak complained, trying to push away the cup.

“Drink it or I’ll bend it down your throat whether you like it or not.” Noatak snapped with uncharacteristic impatience and harshly enough to make even Korra flinch.

Nilak winced and sheepishly, without another word of complaint, downed the whole cup in an attempt to get the matter over with quickly even though she nearly choked on the liquid and shivered with disgust, she then leaned back on the couch with her head resting over the edge. Noatak sat beside the girl and both parents waited, a few silent minutes later some color started to return to the teen’s cheeks and she looked more alert and focused.

“Better?” The former equalist enquired dryly.

“Uh uh.” Nilak nodded shyly, still avoiding his eyes.

“So… What just happened?” Korra enquired and finally sat down next to her daughter, she had been too full of nervous energy to sit still but she was starting to feel achy and nauseous again so she let herself calm down.

“Her blood pressure dropped, sugar helps stabilize it.” Noatak explained, still sounding strangely bitter.

“Gee, sugar helps low bp. Thanks, I didn’t know that much, it’s not like I’m a trained water-healer or anything!” The Avatar muttered sarcastically but when he didn’t reply she huffed and, still utterly confused by his obviously annoyed attitude when he should have been worried, she asked- “Anyway, why do you seem angry about this?”

“…” The former equalist hesitated to answer and looked at the teen accusingly, daring her to answer herself.

“…” Nilak seemed to know she should say something but instead dropped her gaze and stared at her hands.

“Will somebody please explain to me what the hell is going on?” Korra demanded, now even angry due to their wishy-washy ways.

“Nilak, why didn’t you just tell your mother what was wrong? By pretending to be fine and letting it get worse, you just worried her further.” Noatak reprimanded without paying any attention to the Avatar’s outburst.

“I… I just didn’t want to be burden. She had her hands full and I thought I could handle it.” The girl muttered, clearly feeling remorseful but determined to defend herself.

“And you were afraid how she’d react.” He accused further. “You know why this happened, don’t you?”

“Er…” Nilak shifted awkwardly in her seat and shrugged sheepishly. “I guess…?”

“Who exactly did you bloodbend?” Noatak delivered with such sudden bluntness that it took both women a few seconds to process the question.

“What?!” Korra practically shouted, her attention ping-ponging between her stern lover and her nervous daughter.

“Hm…” The teen appeared to shrink away a little, like a turtle-duck trying to recede into its shell.

“Talk.” The former equalist commanded unsympathetically.

“It’s not like I wanted to…” Nilak trailed off, obviously fearful of their reaction.

“So you _did_ bloodbend?!” Korra snapped, eyes wide with shock and her face twisting with disapproval and anger. “What the hell, Nilak?!”

“Mom, there were too many of them and you hadn’t even noticed. I couldn’t let them ambush you and make you fight, you could have gotten hurt, the baby could have gotten hurt. I was just trying to protect you.” The girl blurted out in a rush, desperately trying to get the explanation all out before she chickened out.

“Oh…” The Avatar suddenly understood and her expression softened ever so slightly. “In the Spirit Wilds?”

“Yeah.” Nilak nodded, daring to glance up at her mother from under her lashes.

“Well… You… You still shouldn’t have done it.” Korra scolded half-heartedly, feeling wholly conflicted. On one end she firmly abhorred bloodbending but on the other she understood that the kid had just been trying to protect her and, on another angle, she felt upset that her daughter would have underestimated her ability to deal with the situation. “I’m you mother and the Avatar, I would have handled it or, worse case scenario, we would retreat and get back up. There’s always an alternative, you should know that by now.”

“…Sorry.” Nilak apologized meekly and hesitantly, not sure what else she could say.

“Sorry? Sorry doesn’t cut it. What if somebody had seen you? What if they talk?” The Avatar continued, now more upset about the possibility that their family secret might be exposed.

“It’s not like I actually hurt them that much… At least I tried not to, but I couldn’t chi-block them all so I just… I knocked them out, there were a lot of them but I knocked them all out and they probably don’t remember a thing now so what’s the big deal?” The teen was defensive all over again but as usual she showed that strategic side that she had inherited from Noatak, she would never have acted without considering the repercussions and the fact that Korra seemed to believe otherwise upset her.

“_Probably_ don’t remember? What’s the big deal?!” Korra repeated, outraged by the doubt and daring in her daughter’s words. “Are you hearing this, Noatak?”

“I am.” Noatak gave a curt nod and eyed the teen, assessing her level of honesty. “…You just knocked them out?”

“Yes.” Nilak nodded too, looking a little hopeful in face of her father’s hesitation.

“Then why did it drain you so much?” He cocked a brow, still suspicious.

“There were a lot of them.” The girl muttered.

“…Did you have any other choice?” Noatak seemed to be repressing a sigh but his expression remained hard.

“Well… Yeah, I could have let mom fight them but I didn’t want to, not like this, not when I could help it.” Nilak looked at her mother and then back at her father, showing worry and determination in her eyes.

“Nilak, nothing excuses bloodbending. Even if none of them remembers what you did, you should never…” Korra began to admonish only to trail off and frown when she realized Noatak had gone too quiet, she could guess why and it made her frown at him. “You’re taking her side, aren’t you?”

“I can’t berate her, not this time. Not when I would have done the same to protect you.” Noatak stated as sensibly as he could even though he was conflicted and still disapproved of Nilak’s actions.

“Noatak!” The Avatar shouted, outraged by his apparent betrayal. He was supposed to back her up in this, damn it!

“We can talk about this later, Korra.” Noatak gave her a purposeful glare, the kind that told her that he’d explain his motives when they were alone. “For now, what matters is that nobody realized what she did and all of you are alright.”

“Fine.” The Avatar grit her teeth, trying to rein in her anger for the moment and focusing on being glad that her daughter was recovering. “So what does _that skill_ have to do with her getting sick?” She avoided the term ‘bloodbending’ but the word ‘skill’ was still tinted with disdain.

“Every type of bending is taxing to the body in its own unique way. You should know that better than anyone, Korra.” The former equalist stated as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

“Not like this. Why did she get so sick?” Korra was still angry but now that rage was more directed at the bloodbending itself and at her own ignorance of its ill effects, she never wanted to see her daughter get sick like that again and not be able to fix it.

“Bloodbending tends to be particularly taxing, it’s just that those who practice it are rare and tend to have a whole month of recovery time between bending sessions so they almost never realize what it does to the body.” He neglected to point out that psychic bending was equally taxing if pushed and had probably made matters worse in this situation, he didn’t see the need to worry her further.

“And what _does_ it do?” The Avatar insisted impatiently.

“Ironically, anemia is the more immediate concern and low blood sugar is usually a constant.” Noatak explained clinically, but once again he chose not to talk about the more subtle details. He also didn’t mention the migraines and nosebleeds caused by the abuse of psychic bending since Nilak was well aware of those and well trained to avoid them seeing as psychic waterbending was her default in the first place.

“And in the long run?” Korra crossed her arms under her chest, she was determined to get all the information and wouldn’t back down until she had it.

“Blood thinning tends to be the first concern and the anemia can lead to weakened pigmentation, weariness and sensitivity to light after a while or after a particularly straining effort with the ability such as in this situation. There are most likely other things but there haven’t been enough people like us to really set a pattern.” He replied and almost unconsciously began to trace little soothing circles on Nilak’s hand over his, a small show of concern despite his cool practical tone.

“Ok, that explains your sweet tooth.” Korra mused, not sure if she was talking to him or Nilak or herself but then a light bulb seemed to flash in her mind and she stared at her lover with sudden realization written all over her face. “Wait, is that why you were so much paler than your brother back when…”

“Yes.” He cut her off, not wanting to talk about that past in front of their daughter. He always avoided the topic of his time as Amon around the children. “Either way, Nilak must be starving by now and rest and the right food really are the best way to fix this.”

“But I…” Suddenly Nilak finally decided to pipe in on the conversion but Noatak didn’t let her argue.

“I know you think you’ll be fine now and don’t have any appetite but once you start eating you’ll feel better.” He stated with finality.

“…Yes, daddy.” The teen didn’t dare argue, not when he was giving her that rare warning glare.

“What exactly is the right food?” Korra wondered a little suspiciously and still irritated.

“Leave it to me.” Noatak rose from the couch and headed, once again, to the kitchen.

“Aren’t you tired? You just got home.” Korra’s irritation sizzled down to automatic concern and doubt.

“Don’t worry about me.” He glanced back at the Avatar with a smile that was barely there. “I assume you’ve been too worried to eat as well?”

“Don’t bother making anything for me right now.” With how nauseous she felt, she’d just end up puking anyway so Korra just shrugged away the implied offer and chose to direct her attention to her daughter, whom she pulled closer to her. “And you, little lady, better not pull a stunt like that again, got it?”

“The bending? I was just trying to…” Nilak frowned, trying to defend herself but nobody really seemed willing to let finish her arguments that day and she was interrupted by her mother once again.

“No, the whole ‘acting like you’re fine and worrying the crap out of me’ routine.” The Avatar corrected with an equal frown on her own face though her concern was starkly outlined in her sky-colored eyes.

“…I’m sorry, mama.” The teen sighed remorsefully and sagged against her mother.

“Just don’t do it again.” Korra admonished, cupping the girl’s cheek and looking almost pained. “I can’t stand seeing you like that.”

“Alright.” Nilak agreed sincerely, once again feeling repentant.

“Good.” The Avatar hugged her daughter so tightly that the girl’s face ended up buried in her chest. On a more lighthearted note she added- “You’re grounded, by the way.”

“But, mom…!” The teen’s protests where muffled by Korra’s bosom but when the Avatar finally loosened her grip, Nilak was clearly sulking yet looking so much like herself again that her mother couldn’t help but sigh in relief.

“No buts unless you want me to kick yours.” Korra reprimanded though there was little bite in her words.

The scent of food, namely spinach eggrolls, lentil miso soup and extra sweet honey puffs, began to fill the air with Noatak glancing back at the two woman every once in a while. The Avatar was well aware of his attentive and thoughtful gaze but she decided not to think about it further, instead she grinned and ruffled Nilak’s hair playfully, finally allowing the relief to fill her while she named all the chores the teen would have to do as punishment, starting with giving Naga a bath and tidying up after her brothers.

Despite everything Korra couldn’t remain angry for long, after all, from the moment she chose to love Noatak she had known that there were bound to be strange things in their future, from the day Nilak was born she had known that someday she’d become very intimately acquainted with the repercussions of bloodbending, so she figured it was best to take things in stride and do damage control because she wasn’t going to love her family any less no matter what the consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Author’s Note: I wanted to write something in order to talk about my bloodbender headcanons (inspired by another amazing Amorra writer, to be honest) but as usual it turned into something bigger and more meaningful. I’m kind of disappointed about this little ficlet but I hope some of my readers can enjoy it.)


	24. Hello

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (Notes: I’ve said it before but I plan to write small versions of Books 2, 3 and 4 inserted in “The Castaway” universe so I was very nervous about writing this because it spoils things a bit for the Book 3 and 4 adaptation… And then I remembered that this ficlet happens shortly after Korra’s three year absence in South Pole and I’m not going to write much about that time, I plan to focus more on the six months where she’s missing and although this ficlet works into that I doesn’t really talk about her adventures, so to speak. Consider yourselves spoiler warned anyway.
> 
> This little narrative connects to ficlet 18 but happens considerably later and happens to be a song fic (I needed the inspiration to get back to writing, sorry for the inconsistency in genre and the long hiatus).
> 
> Song: “Hello” by Adele
> 
> Summary: Noatak and Korra are still apart, but she has begun her haunted journey to return to who she used to be. She misses her lover though and can’t resist trying to call him after months, years, avoiding his voice. Drama and angst.  
1,544 words. Enjoy.)

She’s nervous.

It’s been so long since she heard his voice and she’s practiced what to say a million times but she’s feeling her nerve melt away even as her fingers seem to dial the number in the sticky old roller phone of the inn like it’s the first thing they ever learned.

What if he doesn’t answer? He has no way of knowing it’s her but he could simply not be home. But what if he does answer? What is she going to say?

**‘Hello, it's me. **

**I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet**

**To go over everything?’**

Yeah, like that’s going to happen. ‘Just come here halfway across the world and meet the woman that abandoned you and your child for 3 years, it will be fun’.

Well, it’s probably what she _should_ say but after ignoring so many of his letters and pretending never to be there when he called she’s pretty certain karma will serve her nothing more than his own silence. Then again she has no intention of going home just yet and Korra doubts he’d take any nonchalance in her words very well.

**«They say that time's supposed to heal ya**

**But I ain't done much healing.»**

The thought crosses her mind mid-ring of the phone. It’s not exactly true- she can walk again, she’s even starting to recover her bending skills like she did in the past, all of it a miracle after what the Red Lotus did to her, but it’s not her body she’s thinking about- it’s her soul, her mind, all of it still broken. Why else would she still be haunted by hallucinations of her own self in that poisoned Avatar State rage?

There’s a click on the other side of the line and her hopes suddenly soar in the way she promised herself she wouldn’t allow.

**“Hello, can you hear me?”**

For a long time there’s no answer but she can hear his breathing and knows it better than her own. He’s there. He makes a slight noncommittal sound but refuses to talk. She’s afraid he’ll hang up so she just keeps talking in hopes that it will keep him on the line.

**“I'm in the Earth Kingdom dreaming about who we used to be**

**When we were younger and free…”**

That wasn’t what she wanted to say, damn it! She curses her tied tongue but, then again, it’s true- freedom had been fleeting for them, but they spent so much time hiding their relationship that when they were finally free to be together those times had felt like such a release, like a weird Nirvana where the other shoe never dropped… Korra shakes her head and keeps talking, no time to be nostalgic or ineloquent.

**“I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet.”**

She mutters in a tone that she barely recognizes as her own, so full it is with sorrow and longing. He still doesn’t answer but something in his breathing as changed, it’s almost a sigh but not quite, something much more subtle and tired.

**“There's such a difference between us**

**And a million miles…”**

Korra reiterates what they already know but this time she refuses to sound sorrowful. No, she’s had enough self-pity for one day, she’s aching and bruised and lost in a city she doesn’t know following a figment of her imagination and she knows how crazy it seems but, damn it, is the sound of his voice too much to ask for?

**“Hello from the other side,**

**I must have called a thousand times**

**To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done**

**But when I call you never seem to be home.”**

Again, not quite true- at first she tended to hang up before he could answer, that or she would call specifically at times when she knew he wasn’t home, trying to fool herself into believing that she had made an effort, but in the last few months the Avatar had actually been trying, she really had, she felt like maybe he could help make sense of the mess in her head, but he never seemed to answer either way. It’s starting to make her angry, she knows she has no right but she needs to vent her frustration and he’s always been the easiest target.

**“Hello from the outside.**

**At least I can say that I've tried**

**To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart**

**But it doesn't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore.”**

She practically yells into the receiver and still gets no answer. Korra can hear him preparing to hang up, it scares her straight so she desperately tries to calm her tone and hope that he’s still listening.

**“Hello, how are you?**

**It's so typical of me to talk about myself. I'm sorry.**

**I hope that you're well.**

**Did you ever make it out of that situation with the Council?”**

He’s still there, she can hear the hesitation, like he’s almost tempted to answer her but doesn’t. So she decides to cut the bullshit and go straight to the point and make herself clear once and for all.

**“It's no secret that the both of us**

**Are running out of time.**

**So hello from the other side,**

**I must have called a thousand times **

**To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done**

**But when I call you never seem to be home.**

**Hello from the outside.**

**At least I can say that I've tried **

**To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart**

**But it doesn't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore.”**

“You say you tried but I still don’t hear that apology.” Noatak finally speaks and his tone cuts like a knife but she loves it anyway because the pain of the cut is better than nothing at all. “You’re only trying to make yourself feel better, you couldn’t care less about me or everyone else that you left behind without a word. Last time I heard your hands weren’t too paralyzed to write a letter or answer a call, were they?”

“I’m…” Korra hesitates. She wants to apologize for real, she wants to explain that she feels like she’s going crazy laltely, she wants to explain that she needs to find herself again and follow the path the Spirits have put in front of her, but all that sounds like more excuses from a spoiled girl and she can’t bear to put it all into words.

“You’re… What? What are you, Korra? Far away? _Healing_?” Noatak says the last word with biting sarcasm before he continues his rant. Clearly her parents already told everyone she was missing. “I know, I have to tell that to our daughter every single day. You remember your daughter, right? Tiny little thing, dark skin, curly hair, lilac eyes, likes fuzzy things and dark colors, loved you so much even after you slapped her for no reason?”

He throws the years-old accusation her way like a spider-snake bite and Korra physically recoils with regret even though she still takes it all in, she still craves his voice enough to masochistically endure his malicious words.

“I don’t care where you are,” He lies, expertly- unbeknownst to her he’s already preparing to find her. “but your friends are looking for you. Try your excuses on them next time.”

Noatak hangs up before she can put another word in edgewise. Korra knows why, if he stayed on the line he would have said something he couldn’t take back and then she’d snap and they would fight and the call would amount to nothing.

Still, it saddens her that he seems so angry. Noatak never shows his anger, he avoids showing any strong emotion, doesn’t like giving away his poker face and keeps his heart locked tight, she knows this, she’s used to this, she was once the only one that could melt his icy intimidating demeanor but for him to snap at her at this way… Maybe he really can’t forgive her this time.

Maybe she used up all her excuses, maybe this really is the end for them, maybe the Avatar really isn’t meant to put family and love first, like everyone else.

**“Hello from the other side.**

**I must have called a thousand times**

**To tell you I'm sorry for everything that I've done**

**But when I call you never seem to be home.**

**Hello from the outside,**

**At least I can say that I've tried **

**To tell you I'm sorry for breaking your heart**

**But it doesn't matter. It clearly doesn't tear you apart anymore.”**

She hiccups the proud words she had practiced so many times, wondering if maybe they could have been better received if she had been more humble or sounded more contrite, she tries to keep her eyes dry in face of her failure but the phone receiver hanging limp on her hand with its annoying dial tone only reminds her of how much she has screwed up, how she has let her life fall to pieces after she optimistically swore years ago that nothing could break her or her love. 

It reminds her of just how much she has to fix.


End file.
